Thinking over what food to prepare and what chores need to be done so we can just fully immerse ourselves in General Conference this weekend. I'm a believer that answers to questions, especially personal challenge solutions/direction can/will/are given at General Conference. I'm trying to prepare myself. Trying to figure out exactly what I need some direction on so I will recognize the answer.
Right now I feel scattered with so many things that I feel/know/want to be accomplishing and I feel I'm sort of a Bingo number in the tumbler drum. Feeling every number listed is necessary. Feeling the sand in my own personal hour glass is slipping down the tube at lighting speed. Sort of feeling like thumping on the side of the glass and seeing if I can get a bit more time than what I'm perhaps allotted. Wondering if I can accomplish all I want? That is where the scatteredness comes into play. the questioning...am I off course? am I off focus? am I jittery with spinning so many plates on sticks and need to pare down? Is what I'm wanting just normal things or am I feeling the panic of time lessening and breathlessly trying to do what I neglected before? That sort of scatteredness and jumping all over the place to put out brush fires...am I really accomplishing anything besides just moving around?
With that wound up tighter than the the 8 day clock feeling, I decided to take all of that randomness to the best place in the world for divine help...The Temple.
I took a friend with me, Carol. She had no idea of what my thoughts were but I knew what I was mentally/emotionally taking and what I needed some help on as I'd been thinking of it for quite awhile in prep for Conference.
a huge group. an amazing group. almost all were young full-time missionaries. The women's side had 15 extra seats and the men's side was full to capacity. It was amazing energy in the room. The session took much longer than usual and we were on the back row so we were last into the Celestial room. I was glad for the longer than expected time as I had a lot of time to pray and contemplate. We didn't stay long in the celestial room as it was totally filled and we also knew we needed to get on the road.
During the movie I was listening and again, a certain part of the orchestration just absolutely enveloped me. I closed my eyes and breathed deep each time it played. It was like it spoke to the divine within me. my soul loved the sound and the feeling and it came to me very strongly that I am a daughter of God and beauty like that music was familiar to me and a part of who I am. Underneath all of the lengthy list of concerns of what I feel I lack and need to do, is my Spirit, that responds to heavenly beauty that can only be felt and not seen. I was so happy to feel that so personally. It was tender and relaxing.
The thought came to me...Strengthen thyself.
That was so interesting. Not a scattered list. Not specifics. More of a one size fits all and whatever I'm engaged in, to choose things that will Strengthen me.
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"These conferences are always under the direction of the Lord, guided by His Spirit.
We are not assigned specific topics. Over weeks and months, often
through sleepless nights, we wait upon the Lord. Through fasting,
praying, studying, and pondering, we learn the message that He wants us to give." by Elder Robert Hales
Above quote from here
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