What a wake-up call! Awaking and realizing...today I am officially 81 years old! How amazing is that? I am fascinated by the world around me and the happenings in it at large and then extremely interested in my own small personal world. I am thankful at this age to still be curious about a lot of things...a desire to learn (in a limited way of what is of interest to me)...observing as a spectator the world happenings and how people conduct themselves and to watch the world evolve forward and seemingly, at the same time, spiral somewhat out of control. This is the exact era of Covid-19 and we are at this moment, quarantined in our home! This is also the age of hi-tech and I am super duper low-tech. If something can bring me to the depths of frustration, to the point of tearfulness, it is my battle with trying to master just the basics! I know what I want this inanimate object to do but I am clueless as to how to make it happen and it is a battle! At the same time I am just over the moon with gratitude for knowing the super basics and can be in touch with people and the Church happenings.
My Daddy died 37 years ago at the age of 68. 37 years ago I was 44 and thought he'd lived a long life! My Mother died 21 years ago at the age of 82. 21 years ago I was 60. I thought my Mother was very old. Now, here I am, one year younger than when my Mother died, and I don't feel old. Visibly I can see that my body is naturally aging but within?...I think spiritual maturing is taking place. And that is a good thing. (a side note. If I had another go at life...I'd never tell anyone my age. At a certain age it seems that people start to categorize you and place you towards pasture land! you start to become invisible-- that is the feeling)
Anyhow...I decided to gift myself this birthday with a re-vamp on my life.
#1 For years I've said that I intended to live to be 105 years old or until the 2nd coming. I've now decided to just live until I die.
#2 I am enough.
#3 Personal Revelation. President Nelson said we need that. Elder Bednar shared several ways that he hears Him. I am familiar with those ways. At the recent BYU Women's Conference, Kate Holbrook (a woman that is a favorite of mine) talked in a part of her speech about personal revelation. I was riveted as she described exactly how her way of receiving personal revelation is also my way! Most exciting to me though- she expressed gratitude for knowing and recognizing that she knew this. It made me realize that I can be thankful, that I know what I know that works for myself and I can inwardly know and use that ability. Most likely we are probably all in the same boat with varying degrees of intensity? I think so. It was so refreshing to hear her acknowledge her gratitude and be so matter of fact about how she receives personal revelation. I am so thankful also.
#4 At this advanced age I have found out that I am over-zealous. To have a weakness revealed at this age is somewhat daunting but with the depth of it, perhaps I will live many more years, as I strive to keep my zeal and my zest for living but to not throw things out of kilter and get all catty-whampus and flail around like a washer with an uneven load of clothes on the spin cycle. Yes...seems I may need another lifetime to pick up the lose ends of all unfinished projects be they writing or quilting or organizing pictures/letters or physical fitness or whatever. Yes...an overhaul is needed but not an overzealous one which seems to be my nature. I'm not trying to be flippant as it was a rather painful revelatory process but also amazing at the same time. It was an Ether 12:27 experience. I will hold to the promised help in that verse!
So...that is just the bare-bones of what I want to focus on the next year. As things unfold in my journey, I will share right here.
I want to thank each of you for being a reader! You are patient with me and I appreciate that so much!
(Natalie!- I was glad to hear from you. Sorry for you needing more surgery.)
