Making progress!

Really thinking about the power of words.  Words that we say that wound.  Sometimes we receive and sometimes we give those wounding words.  Maybe, we don't even know how deep they go.  Maybe, we think it's not a big deal.  Maybe, we don't know that it's like we branded someone with pain that is so deep that it seems to last forever.  Maybe this is why the Lord wants us to forgive.  and along with it forget.  to dilute the power of what was said.  to obliterate it.  to allow the Atonement to wash over our pain and wash away the words?  Maybe.

Dixie and I talked today about pain.  We talked about incidents of words...words that had caused lasting damage.  We talked about the importance of letting go and healing.  The Gospel is for that purpose don't you think?

Going through these pictures and seeing a portion of my life unfold before my eyes, it brought up questions.  and pain.  Pain that I remember how I felt and she remembers nothing so she feels nothing.  My parents left us with our Grandmother and they went to Alaska to work.  To Galena?  To build after the war?   Was it 9 months they were gone?  Was it a year and a half?  How old were we?  Was I 5?  4?  Dixie- 2?

I will find the answers later on but not now.  a few years before my Mother died I interviewed her on video.  I asked her about that time of our life and for the life of me, I can't remember the details.  That is one of the reason I am sorting and sifting pictures... So I can put that video together, with the pictures, as she explained them to me.

Things got a bit overwhelming in the scope of sorting but I did get Greg's package off and also Dixie's.  Jeanee will be here in January and we will go through everything I've done up to that point.

me in pink dress!

loved seeing my parents & grandparents holding me as a baby!

Our family of 4.  My Dad at almost 3.

I was going to save all of this for our family reunion in 2015 but decided to share pictures now on the extras.

Today when I studied the Scriptures, I felt so thankful for the Gospel and the power there is in Scriptures/Conference Talks, that elevate thoughts and heal hurts.

Staying the course...

Sort of an offbeat Wednesday...Terry (my sweet guy) had some health struggles off and on....I went to a funeral and had to repent during the service for wanting a speaker to sit down and stop talking...  We had ordered chicken from Zaycon Foods and that had to be packaged for freezing....It was the Halloween party at the Church (decorations were gorgeous!!).  I didn't go but took some chopped nuts that I'd signed up for...thought about all everyone else accomplishes, those I am even barely acquainted with or really know, and all the things they accomplish in the course of a day or a week or hey!, their entire life portfolio, and my Co-Dependency just oozes out my pores.  Co-D's compare and feel inadequate, less than etc. etc., when they are acting out.  Do I need some sort of intervention?  Co-d's have to intervene in their own behalf!!  As Scarlett O'Hara said in Gone with the Wind....Fiddle dee dee.  I'll think about that tomorrow!

Obviously I have a lot on my mind tonight but it's to late to make any sense of what I'm thinking of!

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I'm working on Batch # 2.  My Aunt kept a scrapbook of pictures of me as a little girl & some of Dixie when she entered the scene, my Dad as a little boy, my grandparents, and my parents when they were starting their married life.  All sorts of things in that time frame.  Sampler below....

I'm going to divide these and give 1/2 to my sister.  Enough for my kiddos also!

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Found another picture of us at Anchorage High School as Seniors.  This was upstairs and we were waiting for classes to change.  Typical clothes for the day... Me-- skirt/sweater/white collar/flowers at neck/matching earrings/also, not seen-matching sweater socks.  Him--white shirt-open collar-rolled shirt sleeves/jeans/flat soled Converse tennis shoes (that were cheap and everyone wore them). Me-- ponytail with a scarf.  He--flat-top....

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I'm so thankful that the Lord looks to my heart and thoughts.  He knows I intended to make this gorgeous pumpkin with tacks and flowers....

my heart's desire

my reality

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When I found this picture of my beautiful Mother it startled me and made me teary with longing to see her and just wishing we could sit down and really talk.  I mean really share our hearts.  That is what my mind has been on is relationships and why they sometimes aren't like we thought they would be or hoped they would be or want them to be.  It's mulling over in my mind, the complexities of all our interactions with each other- family or friends- such complications at times.  Well, it seems that way to me tonight. I will share when the mental puzzle pieces are all turned over to get a clearer picture.  Even looking at this picture now makes me tear up. I would love to hug her.

I love you, my beautiful Mother- xoxoxxo

Child's play....

One thing I'd really do with my kiddos...I'd watch like a hawk for something that they seemed to have an interest in and give them opportunities to see if that was a skill or talent or gift that they would enjoy.  Maybe even have a life skill and ability to earn a living could surface.

I know I've told you before about our Engineer son but I just have to put a plug in for watching your children, even at play.  Greg is the one that early on was fascinated in how things worked and would take things apart.  I've blogged about him before.  It amazes me that this curious boy, always trying to figure out how things worked and designing things and making things, would end up at the headquarters of Caterpillar...a design engineer!

He recently designed "forks" capable of handling a load of marble.  When we were in Kansas, Greg took his Dad down to show him the product, all packed for shipping.  Lance and Terry are sort of blocking the fork but you still get the idea.  proud moment for the Dad!!  He doesn't look happy but he really was!!

Forks.  Lance and Grampa

Forks arrived in China??  (I need to ask Greg)

Forks in Italy doing what they were designed to do...Marble

Greg in Italian marble quarry checking out his forks!!

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I'm still on task!  Only a couple of days, and months more of time needed, but I'm making headway with my sort and identify task of Batch #1.  Aunt Bonnie's copies of old photos, pretty much 6 copies each, one for keepers and 5 to give to my kiddos.  Making headway from when I started!

moving ahead with my goal.  sort.  stack.  sort.  stack.

sort and sort and sort.   stack and stack and stack.

and sort/stack!!!  picture of my sister and I with both of our Grandmothers!  only one I know of!!

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Found a tiny little Polaroid of my favorite dance partner in the whole wide world.  We were seniors and this was our senior prom picture.  We were breathlessly in love!! To this day I remember how gorgeous that dress was!  A heavy satin.  pale blue. had a reverse satin band under bust that was decorated with jewels.  Strapless top was high and pleated in some way that made it gorgeous.  a fitted dress that was gored clear up to that trim.  snug at waist and very full skirt... lots of room for crinolines.  Swished when you walked and so fun to dance in!!  I wore silver strappy hi-heels.  rhinestone bracelet and earrings. pink nail polish and pink lipstick.  Jungle Gardenia perfume. and a big wrist corsage that CuteFace gave me.  Him?- a grey suit.  If a time could be described food wise in feeling?....this was a scrumptious time in our young lives.  I thought my sister had the gown hanging in her closet.  Turns out she doesn't!  She thought I had it!  Neither of us knows where it is. 

Worth a thousand words?????

I have to add a note to the marriage blog yesterday.  My marvelous friend Tamera sent this as a part of an email in talking about the blog post.  I loved it so much that I asked if I could share it.  She said yes.....

We had the sweetest reminder to continue to have time with each other last night.  Friday is date night.  We were at Chuck Wagon for dinner.  As always, we sit on the same side of the booth, side by side.  We always have. I got up to fill my plate and this sweet woman got up and intercepted me.  She had tears in her eyes and was nervous.  She stopped me and said "I don't want to interrupt you or anything- but I have been watching you and your husband.  You are sitting next to each other and I can see you are in love.  I'm a widow, I wish I could go back and spend our time sitting next to each other.  So many of the world's problems could be solved if husbands and wives sat next to each other,  Married people don't sit together- teenagers do, not marrieds."  Norman got up and joined us and she repeated it all to him.  She was so sweet and sincere. How sweet of her to tell us. 

I think that is such a tender story!  thanks for letting me share Tamera.  I am so impressed that you make time, take time, make the effort to keep your relationship alive and healthy.  Inspiring!

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Welcome beautiful October!!!  I LOVE the changing of the seasons!!  The gentleness of fall and the magnificence of the colors and the softness of the temperature that just seems to caress and envelope me, is a bit of heaven on earth.  I don't want my old chairs put up yet but I know it's getting time.

Isn't this thought lovely?...

Then summer fades and passes, and October comes.  We'll smell smoke then, and feel an unexpected sharpness, a thrill of nervousness, swift elation, a sense of sadness and departure.--Thomas Wolfe

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No matter the season my heart is attuned to it but my actions are always out of sync.  Must be Terry's fault because he decided it was time to do this!....  seems off beat to me but he did it anyhow!...

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Terry has a new challenge!  one that makes me sick to my stomach of what may happen in the fixing process.  I seem to attach the word love to anything I enjoy...people and yes, even objects.  I love my family and my friends and I love my small paved driveway.  It has been such a nice thing for a lot of years.

Our driveway is erupting!!!  is it some underground thing that will suddenly  have cracks and raises all over the place?  What roots lurk underground, causing such dismay to my heart.  Not only because of what it will most likely do to our driveway but also because this can't be fixed with Terry's duct tape (now you talk about loving things- he loves duct tape.  uses it as frequently as others taking aspirin on a regular basis.)

I showed him this....
 

you can't really see how raised it is!!  but it is!

 He tried to weigh it down with this...

Then I noticed he did this...

what next?  I'm scared.  He's thinking to drill a circle out and kill whatever has taken up resident.  Yep.  Me not having good vibes.  Will he keep increasing the blocks?  At least it centered itself.  I suggested putting a barrel planter on it and he vetoed that idea real quick.

What on earth crawled under there and has roots so strong as to cause this mess??

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I'm taking on another project.  Long overdue as is my ineffective system for accomplishing most tasks.  I have ideas that are so over the top, so grandiose, for practically every single thing I want to accomplish in life.  I bypass the basic practicality of things, the simple, the simplicity of order and mentally go for something ready for Broadway! and there is never an opening night!  So in the realm of dreams beyond scope, like planning to scan all pictures, write about each one and make a movie with music and give copies to all of my children....and with the exit lane road markings of my life span starting to look sort of square and in a line!!... I decided to get practical and sort the pictures!  Reining myself in and not dreaming to big (is eventually scanning, writing, background music- over the top?  Is it hard to scan?  I can learn?)

So here is step one in my sensible practical plan of what needs to be done...sort/identify!!  My Aunt sent me these pictures when she was living + copies for my children!!.  note the word was living.  My niece, who is not at all like me, took my sisters set (she got one also!) and has put them on Family Search etc.  I also have lots of others that aren't from my Aunt.  

All of this being said and again, sticking my neck out there and declaring I am going to do this, and even I think this will prove interesting to see how far I really go with this simple plan.  Sorting and identifying the pictures.

Here is my first table full of super old pictures.... 

 I checked my index numbers.  It only took me indexing 4,370 names and I felt the inkling to start this project.  I think it did something to my heart and made me start to care about these pictures?  Uh-huh--thinking so.   

Always faithful to spouse???....

Sunday, the speakers were asked to address the Family Proclamation, and just choose and expound/elaborate on whatever they wanted out of the address.  It was a bit over-packed with speakers but still a great meeting.

Two of the speakers were older.  Both had lost their spouses.  6 months ago my friend Myra Faye passed away.  Her husband was one of the speakers and my heart went out to him to speak on the day of that milestone of her leaving his life.  He had to pare his talk down but I was so touched with what he shared.

The last week of her life, Bob worked on what he wanted to tell his family, about life and marriage.  After her funeral he had a special family meeting with their 3 sons and their entire families.  He shared some of the things he and Myra Faye did on a regular basis, to strengthen their marriage and their family.  Praying together twice every day, blessing their food every day, reading the scriptures  together every day.  (they also worked in the Temple each Saturday) He talked about focusing on the Gospel and how things were so different in the world compared to when he was a boy or when they were first married.

I was glad he shared a part of that special family meeting.  A daughter-in-law told me it was a truly sacred family time that evening.

My friends- Carol and Jackie also shared love of their families and the Gospel.  As did the youth speaker.  It was one of those super special Sacrament meetings.

As you know I've been married for ages and beyond the commitment to just stay together, honor our Temple covenants and not bale out- I really think this article sums up the base of what is needed to protect your marriage.  I know I've shared before the impact that an old cassette recording...Out of the Blue like a Scheduled Airline...had on me.  I feel this article is terrific and you need to read it and share it with your spouse!

I've seen marriages fall apart when the counsel in this article was ignored.  Be aware.  Prepare!!!

10 Ways you are Being Unfaithful to your Spouse, and Don’t Even Know It

By Gary and Joy Lundberg

Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna happen. You love your spouse and you'd never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful.

read the excellent article here 

To many candles for one cake!!

Terry was 18 when I first baked him a birthday cake.  Or was he 17?  he was one or the other!  Of that I'm sure!!  So Friday, the 24th and now he's (drum-roll.  please.  loud.  he might not have his hearing aid on!)....76!  Moving past that 3/4 century mark and into that last life phase where all warranties, on appliances and bodies, slowly disintegrate!  What a rather grim Happy Birthday thought!  It is a reality though and we are weathering the storms with as much gusto as we can muster.  ETE stage of life.  Endure To End!

I'm thankful that we are together.  I'm thankful we love each other.  I'm thankful to be so comfortable with this darling guy.  Does he drive me crazy?  sometimes.  Yes, he does sometimes.  Truth be told he would say the same thing about me.  We've only been married 57 years so we are still working out the kinks in our relationship!

He is my rock.  All male.  not one of those men that loves to go for lunch to chat and all that sort of dreamy relationship details.  He is sensible and sane when I tend to be irrational and a bit insane at times!!  (Halloween fright--you know about the horror of hormones...I assume?  I have a friend that thinks all of us girlies will get a pass and go straight through the pearly gates.  Just for enduring our femaleness!)  Anyhow so I get a pass, at least a break, for being out of sorts at times.  He makes no accusations or comments that might cause his life to be in danger, with what seems to be-- the mercurial and in sync with the cycle of the moon phase-- in my life.  He is just wonderfully supportive and look at where it's got him!!  to his 76th year in mortality.  Go super man!!

Super man!  Yes, he is super man with super strength and super endurance.  Paul Bunyan strong.  Ability to slay marauding giants to protect me.  Many times over our marriage I have awakened him from his peaceful slumber, poking/shaking him and stage whispering-- Hurry!!! someone is trying to break in!!  I hear them!!  Without fail he will bound from the bed, adrenaline coursing through his Viking veins, and go to slay the dragon, with his bare hands, that I tell him is lurking in the kitchen by the door.  I fall peacefully back to sleep while he army-like scouts around the house interior and then even goes outside.

Hmmmm...when did that last happen?  When you lose lots of your hearing, as he has, you sleep in peace with no fear.  I seldom hear anything either that sets off my inner alarm.  We sleep protected by prayer and my car keys on the nightstand, to set off our car alarm, if needs be.  Oh, of course, we all know that the entire neighborhood would rush to that frightening sound!

But he was always the man of the hour and I never feared with him nearby.  His muscular strength has been admired by his children and others.  He could and did carry/lift/move things that others would feel impossible.  Lots of stories of those feats.  Yet he never bragged about it but he enjoyed his strength for the power it gave him and used it in his daily life.  all the time.

He misses it.

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Wednesday I left the house for an errand.  pulled out of where I'd parked in a non-existent graveled parking spot to head home.  and heard something dragging underneath!  I was horrified.  Terry was all relaxed and recovering from those few rough days and feeling chipper.  I hated to tell him but knew I had to.  I had torn some plate lose.  It was late afternoon.  Despite my pleading to not do it...he wanted to beat the rain...he fixed it...in the rain.

I have to admit I was teary the entire time watching him work with something that has been so simple for the majority of his life.  I watched from a distance.  I tell you I just wanted to run out and hug him and love him and tell him how much I appreciate him and drag him out from under the car and tell him...let's get help.  Stop.

He never lost his cool.  It took a very long time.  But he did it.  He said...the frustrating thing is that should have been a quick job.  That time is gone.

checking out what I'd damaged!

some badge of honor?  a mechanic's beat-up dirty old hat?

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We are glad we have shared the majority of our lives and that is marked on this day by the number of birthdays we have celebrated.   All these years of baking that Cocoalight Cake and this year he has another baker in his life!!  I've been replaced!!! This was what she made him!!

sort of homemade with that bit of burnt crust!!

About the time I made that first cake.  Seniors in high school.  Loved him! 

 Strong hand on my neck!

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here is from last year on his 75th birthday.

Let's face it!  He is adorable!  Darling at 75!  Ready for Church!

It's all summed up in this scripture....

The glory of young men is their strength:  

and the beauty of old men is the gray head.

--Pro. 20:29

Planning for the future....

It's a long way off from the end of July 2015....9 months (if you don't want to count it up yourself).  every other year we have a family reunion the end of July.  2015 is our next one.  Each year we go to McCall and I've blogged about those before.  The 2015 event will NOT be at McCall.  ALL of us...yes...all of us, will be together in one gigantic house and we will eat and sleep and play and celebrate our usual Christmas and all those sorts of things that we do each time.  In one house!!  20 of us!!  or is it more?

My babies, now adults are not the cookie cutter clan.  They did not come forth hugging and kissing each other and bonded at first glance as BFF's.  Snarling little territorial hound dogs, except for that one little baby chick that had peace maker shining from deep in her beautiful sweet soul, were the litter we got!!  They are wonderful, hard working, independent, talented, amazing, complicated people (aren't all children that way?)  and I love them.  Their children are cut from the same cloth and the best!!

The thought of WW3 possibly erupting via family conflict word battles made me wonder what will actually happen when the beaker mix occurs.  Today though I got to thinking ...I have a secret weapon!  I actually have my own ref!  This son has loved me and been kind to me always.  True- He does not always do what I ask.  He is fantastic in social skills.  Compassionate.  A friend forever if you like him from the beginning but if you don't like him...sorry you lost out.  He arrived in my life right from the hospital in Renton after his birth.  I flew from Homer to pick him up.  Did I mention he is a dancing fool?  Fantastic sense of rhythm.

and the biggest daredevil ever!  Fearless!  Really, I think he's was born needing an adrenalin fix and he has always pursued that high that makes his eyes sparkle and has scared me half to death on more than one occasion.

He is a dedicated husband and father.  Again...he is so good to his Dad and I.  I love him.

So here is my boy.  Appointed by me to ref, any discord at our family reunion, July 2015.  Did I want him to be a ref?  NO.  It is the lesser of two evils....better than fighting!  I'm into drama but not this sort of dancing around!!!

Check out the pics and I ask....Can you see why I feel relaxed and protected from my cubs, if in-house scuffling occurs with him on board????  He is #4 of the magnificent 5!!

(will tell more about this venture planned for 2015 when it's closer and we are pulling it together.  We just had to secure lodging at this point in time or we'd be out on the beach in pup tents.  No.  that is not appealing to me to be in a pup tent!!)

4 mistakes LDS parents make.....

well, how about that...my favorite that I've mentioned several times made the list!!! 

 

3. Not Having Consistent Family Dinners

It is easy for families to become overscheduled as children are involved in extracurricular activities after school.  When time is short, one of the first things that is cut is dinner at home together and it is often replaced with fast food, eating on-the-go, or an ala carte dinner in the kitchen that kids can grab as they come and go from home.  What’s missing is that valuable time for talk, reconnection, and family time around the dinner table each evening. 

Elder Dallin H. Oaks makes reference to some recent studies on family mealtimes.  “The number of those who report that their ‘whole family usually eats dinner together’ has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together ‘eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.’ Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.”[4]

To avoid this, be aware of how your commitments will impact your family and how much time it will be taking away from being together.  On busy days, plan ahead so that dinners can be fast and easy.  There may be times when you will have to be prepared to say no to certain activities or obligations. 

 read the entire list of 4 right.......   here