Onward...

The basic pitch and toss in the closet is nothing at all compared to the office.  Storage unit for all things paper and promising would be a better title!  Just like the closet, stir it up and it just grows beyond belief!!  So every inch of space was jammed packed.  I'm thinking to will a box of matches to each child, upon my death, with instructions to just...choose a room and create an inferno!  Am I so afraid that I'll go without, that I can't bear to part with a single scrap with a few words, now needing a code for deciphering.  I seem to think in ideas for things to write about.  Analogies.  notes for essays?  Oh, boy.  Who knows?  I only know I've got to have this place done by Halloween-2014.  Sort of catchy and rhyme-y.  My new heading for my gigantic to do list.  So 2 days upheaval and it looks like the wind from Oz hit and swirled.

Papers and books and also things that made me look at myself and how I deal or don't deal with things.  A photo journal through my junk journey. 

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So in the stacks I found a manila envelope labeled...Ava's First Christmas.  That would have been in 2008.  Almost 6 years ago.  Eagerly I reached in to pull out a Santa picture!  Instead I was confronted with my great/good intentions that I end up procrastinating on....

adorable Christmas onesie!!  Opportunity gone!

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I loved my camera.  I just like to aim and shoot.  I like the imperfection I get of no one being stunned by a shot and wondering--did she photoshop that?  I had it for years and then it died.  no hope for it.  I packed it away in a little plastic shroud, and kept hoping for some sort of a miraculous recovery.

such a great camera!!!

Not going to happen.  so I bought a new camera and I'm trying to love it.  I found my little fave in it's little sack and realized it had been wonderful but it was over.  done.  kaput.  so I took a deep breath and put it here.....

I'm teary!!  (I need an intervention!!!)

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I was storing all of the note cards, stationary sort of things in a basket and then I found this....

ready to mail!

I love stationary although my penmanship is now unlovely!

The picture doesn't do it justice.  it's really gorgeous!  Maybe photoshop is handy sometimes?  anyhow it was a thick letter.  all color coordinated and stamped for mailing.  I instantly knew that even with it's beauty it's was viperous in content.  I knew it was a letter to one of my sons birth mother.  I'm not a precious adoptive Mother.  I'm selfish, territorial, possessive and those are the three best words out of a litany of poison pen scribbles.  I don't play nice in the sandbox nor do I like to share anything that I view as mine!!  I've tried over the years to be angelic but usually I've lost my halo.  I am okay now (well, I say I am and positive thoughts gets anyone a long way!)  but really I was glad I'd never mailed it.  I decided to just shred it up.  sort of symbolic on all counts. also decided to not read it.  But...it was to thick for the shredder so I opened it.  Inside several pages were neatly folded to fit into the envelope.  I'd typed the letter and just wrote a personal note on the note card.  I still opted to not read it as I knew it contained a lot of pain, heartache etc. but did see the date.  2007.  We have to be willing to get on with our lives and I realized that as I put my shredder to good use.

Goodbye!  What a waste of gorgeous note paper!

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 The house is not going to expand and it's small to begin with.  there is no room for growth in here.  It's crammed to the max and out of control as I can't quickly  retrieve any quote that I want.  also I'm to the point of knowing it's somewhere but not as specific as I use to be.  I treasure my scribblings and boy did I hit pay-dirt.  Stacks of notes.   like this....

Notes and talks and all sorts of goodies!

more of the same!

I sorted and discarded some (a few sheets of paper)  and filed the rest for future work later on.  I'm happy with it.  I realize that it would absolutely drive others nuts and they'd let it rest with my camera in the trash but instead here is their new home....

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Cookbooks...how many cookbooks does a person need?  evidently I did this last purge of sorts in 2007 and remembered giving lots of cookbooks away and pared it down to only 3 shelves.  They grew and spread and were scattered beyond those shelves.  So I decided to keep on one shelf, only one, the cookbooks that might be used.  Might I say.  Could not bear to give or throw or sell at this point so I put extras in a clear tote and it was so full I couldn't close it!  I'll store in garage and see how often I need one of the cook books.  will look in one year and see if I can give or throw!!!

Hope Terry doesn't see I packed his Norwegian cookbook! (he has not used it!!!)

way to much!!

So I got another tote and put extra cookbooks off of top and decided to pack children's books that are not being used and haven't been for years.  I did keep a couple out but ended up packing the Fairyopilis book.  

saved the Where Do Babies Come From?

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I'm glad the Lord knows my heart and He is helping me wade through this incredible amount of Treasure/Trash.  Got a new frame for my favorite picture.  no hook on back yet so He sat by the copier and file drawer all day and I quite frankly enjoyed it.  It gave me courage and faith.

He knows me.  Loves me in spite of my being a pack rat!

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Tomorrow...throwing myself to the lions and fighting to hold on to every single study guide etc.  There will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth here tomorrow, right along with the 50 mile an hour wind that is forecast so maybe you won't hear me!!!  More totes????