Once a year in, my Stake RS calling, I'm assigned to go with a Hi-councilman to speak in a Ward.
This was my first time. Not a Ward. A Branch. A Spanish Branch. I speak no Spanish.
Not to worry (so I was told). There will be an interpreter for you.
A 10 minute talk. Single subject. The Plan of Salvation. (The whole ball of wax in 10 minutes?)
I really thought about this talk (yes, I did pray also).
The Stake RSP had told me that it would be a nice idea for me to give the interpreter a copy of my talk.
Red flag. I don't write my talks. I can't talk if I read. I just talk.
Then I got to thinking about this interpreter and wondering ....how long do you talk before you stop talking so he can start talking?
Then I got concerned about flow of thought... How do you make a point if you have to interrupt yourself, mid-thought, so the interpreter can remember what you were trying to say?
Then my timer alarm in my head went off. I'm an end-on-time speaker. I will take my minutes allotment and hopefully not a second more. Thou shalt not steal anyone's speech time. Oh, boy! If I talk 10 minutes and the interpreter takes 10 minutes (and really when they speak Spanish, don't they use more words than us? it's so fast but even at that it seems to take a lot longer to say something that I think I could say it in English. I'm just judging by what I've heard read out of RS lessons) So isn't it possible that my 10 minute talk could end up 20?
Brainy idea, or perhaps brainless is more apropos? I decided to cut my talk to 5 minutes to make sure I wasn't overlapping on time.
I decided to speak in two sentences at a time. Stating the entire thought so that nothing would be lost in interpretation. Giving the interpreter a chance and to keep things moving along.
I even wrote my little 2 sentence sets and printed them. then I printed the 3 scripture references for the Spanish wordsmith. I would try to follow my outline.
So that was my preparation.
I get there and the interpreter introduces himself. We chat a minute and I hesitantly say...I did print these scriptures for you. I show him my one page with sentence pairs and ask....is this to much to say at one time? I tried to keep it short. I've never done this. Should I say one sentence at a time or can I do a complete thought and say both? He says....You can say both just like it is. do you mind if I make a copy of this? I say...okay. I'm not sure if I'll say it exactly as it is.
He copies it and comes back. Thanks me. And he leaves. The Branch President is sitting in the hall with me and I asked him how this works on standing up, sharing microphone etc. He causes a shock wave as he calmly states...Oh, no. we don't do it that way. he sits out here in the hall interpreting and the members in the Chapel wear headsets. you don't stop talking. you just talk. not to fast. It's just a regular talk.
WHAT?????!!!!!
So there I sat with my pathetic little primer talk. A talk that could have been given by any child.
Next to me, on the stand, sat the HC with a sheaf of papers/Ensign/Quad and I had my single page!!!
It was on the style of ...
See Jane?
See Jane run?
Okay. back story. I decided to approach it from the Plan of Salvation was the Plan of Happiness. Our daughter was flying from Alaska to BYU-H. Different experience/being away from home etc etc. (No, I didn't say that.) To help her be happy and have a good first time at college I packed her a box filled to the brim with everything she might need- bedding/toiletries/office stuff etc. etc. It is still a fond memory of ours and was a help to her.
it comes out....written to make sure I don't miss a word. a really horribly humiliating, but very typical of the entire nightmare mini-talk was this example....
I packed a box for my daughter's college journey.
Father in Heaven created a world for my earth journey.
Just shoot me! It's burnt into my brain! All of the talk was the same way!!!!! I should just further my confession by printing the entire 16 lines for your gaze. If you happened to be feeling incompetent or down on yourself for your lack of ability?....I know you would feel amazing about yourself after reading my "talk"!
Timing? Exactly 5 minutes, of these comparison sentences. At least we were all out of our misery relatively fast.
As I was leaving the BP, thanked me for my talk (I cringed inside), and then said....we are such a small Branch and I told the Stake President that we had to have people come speak to us from the Stake. We are desperate. We'll invite you back again.
I personally thought desperate was hysterical but stayed RS calm and told him I'd enjoy that very much.
No, Nancy. No.
Go away.
Don't stay.
Run, Nancy. Run.
Don't stay.
Run away.
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