Sharing life....

A friend has endured some harsh things in her life.  It left her somewhat devastated as there are still remnants dangling out there, hanging over her head, possibilities that may happen down the line.

Those past painful things are so haunting and make us halt our progress, as it oozes over into other relatively healthy areas, of our life.  What to do?  Obviously...sing the song from Frozen and read books about letting things go and pray and fast and try to forget and move on.  Easier said than done.

One solution--  Years ago we found ourselves in a dreadful business deal.  It was destructive to us.  A man lied.  We trusted.  He ended up fine.  We ended up broke and broken.    Terry went to work at the North Slope. We moved.  Our pain personally was almost to much as we tried to begin again.

Each time he came home we would rehash what had happened.  The violation of trust. The dishonesty. What had been said and what the reality of the books really were.  For two weeks we'd relive, rekindle, re-ignite the entire scenario.

Next time...same conversation.  over and over and over.

One week we talked that this was stopping our progress.  We couldn't really feel the Spirit.  We were overcome with regret/pain/remorse/blame/guilt and on and on.

We decided to tell each other our story one more time, with all the gory details, and how we had wrangled with a coiled rattlesnake and he won! and to never mention it or talk about it again.  To just let it go.

We relived it by it's telling, in full minute detail, to each other and then we prayed and told the Lord...He knew the truth.  He knew our hearts.  We had been to trusting etc. etc.  True the fellow took advantage of us but also true- he did not force us to sign anything.  We exercised our agency and acted accordingly by signing.  Our choice.  That fatal signing.

Next time he came home we didn't really know how to act.  Our routine of our self-justified griping/complaining/victimized etc. had taken over our communication.  We struggled to shift and keep our word of absolutely no communication about this single incident.

It took time but as we cleared that toxic debris from our minds/thoughts/speech, it faded further and further from our life and then the Lord could have space for His thoughts/Spirit.  We started healing.

I have a couple of scars from minor things, like a cut that required stitches, years and years ago.  I can see the scar.  I remember the entire bloody painful incident. Today??-- I have no pain at all.  The scar does not hurt nor does the memory of how it happened pain me.  I just know it happened, how it happened, it was fixed, and I've heard that scar tissue is extremely strong so actually I'm stronger than I used to be.

We have never talked again about that happening that undid us.  You know what?....right now in telling this--it's like my finger scar-- I know what happened, it is fixed the best it can be, by releasing it unto the atmosphere and giving our pain over to the Lord.  I'm not in pain.  I am stronger.  Even in knowing/living with the consequence that remains....Interwoven in the fabric of our life tapestry...still evident today. and yet...  I am still stronger.

In life we will have more than one rug pulled out from underneath us and we have to learn how to deal with it and apply the Atonement to whatever ails us...be it big or small.

I share this now because maybe, just maybe, what I learned will help my friend to figure out what will work for her in her personal plight.  I hope so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paul said--
"...but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  Philip 3:13-14

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just found this marvelous quote by President Benson...

I hope we will not live in the past. People who live in the past don't have very much future.  There is a great tendency for us to lament about our losses, about decisions we have made that we think in retrospect were probably wrong decisions.  There is a great tendency for us to feel badly about the circumstances with which we are surrounded, thinking they might have been better had we made different decisions.  We can profit by the experience of the past.  But let us not spend our time worrying about decisions that have been made, mistakes that have been made.  Let us live in the present and in the future. (1988)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

always do your own due diligence.  a part of my personal creed... as President Reagan said....

 Trust but Verify

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~