Growth

I have long felt that trials/adversities/challenges/difficulties come to us and start off very small.  Each circumstance seems to grow in intensity and what we couldn't have imagined surviving quite some time ago, maybe even years ago, we make it through.  Also in looking back at some of our past life events, things that felt so challenging then, we now see our lack of life experience and it's almost like recalling ourselves in a more innocent state.

In that marvelous 7th Chapter of this years RS/Priesthood manual (Faithfulness in Times of Trial: "From the Shadows into the Glorious Sunshine") I was fascinated to see a sentence that backed up that feeling of growing stronger to meet greater challenges.......

 ...And how far have we advanced, how much knowledge have we obtained and how much more are we able to bear now than one, two or five years ago, and are we able to stand more now than a few years ago? The Lord has strengthened us and increased us in our growth. Like the infant, when it grows up it knows not how it received gradual strength and the manner in which it increased in stature. It is larger this year than last. So in regard to our spiritual advancement. We feel stronger today than we did a year ago...

When I read that to Terry during his rehab stay, we both thought back to the earliest event in our lives that we could remember, one so overwhelming that we just didn't know how we were going to make it.  We both went back to the same event. We were frightened and terrified.  Filled with doubt and uncertainty of what to do and what the outcome would be. What was it?  Our 2nd son, around 9 months of age, had the croup.  Every breath was labored.  We didn't know what to do.  We thought he was going to die!  We made a steam tent in the bathroom and took turns being in there, all night, with this adorable little baby.  My emotions were raw and ragged.  What if he did stop breathing?   what would we do?  I even called the hospital in the middle of the night, crying and telling my plight.  Asking what to do if he stopped breathing.  The nurse said to give him mouth to mouth.  How do you do that??? So foreign to me.  to us.

This was before Medi-centers and frequent use of Emergency care at Hospitals.  More importantly- This was before the Gospel and the Priesthood entered our lives...and that, of course, added tremendous tools to withstand/endure/survive the rigors of mortal testing.

Now I've lived enough life that today a croupy baby would not terrify me.  My experiences of dealing with many tests of life began in earnest on that day.  Like developing our immune systems, we also develop strength, as we go through some of these overwhelming experiences in mortality.  and yes, we will have them.

I've never understood anyone asking for trials and yet there are those that do!  I loved what was said in that same marvelous Chap 7 by President Snow..... 

 ...Some of our brethren have queried whether hereafter, they could feel themselves worthy of full fellowship with Prophets and Saints of old, who endured trials and persecutions; and with Saints … who suffered in Kirtland, in Missouri and Illinois. The brethren referred to have expressed regrets that they had not been associated in those scenes of suffering. If any of these are present, I will say, for the consolation of such, you have to wait but a short time and you will have similar opportunities, to your heart’s content. You and I cannot be made perfect except through suffering:...

It was an illuminating moment for me when I read about someone asking Elder Maxwell, or maybe it was just a hypothetical question....if God knows how we will handle trials and how we will come out of them, then why do we have to endure pain like trials bring?  His answer was profound, he replied....God knows what you will do, but you don't.... We have to learn, for ourselves, what Heavenly Father already knows, regarding our ability to endure and survive the trials/tests/adversities of mortality.  (I really need to find the quote  and stop paraphrasing!!)