beginning. again!

making plans.  trying to figure out how to continue with what will help Terry to continue to move ahead.  He got a clean bill of health from the wonderful stroke Doctor.  She is so amazing and we feel she saved him by having him admitted as an inpatient in the rehab center.  That was his last appointment with her.   She is a genius!

Now it's figuring out those ongoing things. Working on his balance and helping with his vestibular and strengthening his left arm is our current challenge.

So he has now signed up for swimming to get his left arm built up... He's gone to a cranial-sacrial therapist (that was interesting!)....  He's going to get his bike tires fixed and try riding again....  He continues to mow the lawn and all that goes with that...all sorts of busyness!

He is moving ahead and therefore I am also!  so our life should be more even and I can reclaim my own life with a certain amount of routine.  Not so much running around to appointments etc.  A leveling.  He will continue to improve in a more independent way on his choice of therapies.  He has several available.

I will get back to my blog routine and take care of some routine health issues to reassure myself that I also am on the right track.

Also my summer neglected Church responsibilities need attention and I will get on top of that also.

Life does have challenges, no matter our age or happenings, but I'll tell you what...I love being my age.  It is so fascinating to have seen so much of life.  I love my life experiences and I love sharing what I feel and what I've learned with you. 

Friends have taken a back seat as I've been family focused since July and gone a lot.  That party is over and it's back to what is normal for me and that includes contact with friends.

Celebration Time!!!

A Tuesday celebration!!

Went to Therapy and the OT said he doesn't need to come back!!!  They have done what they can to restore him to "normal".  Just some appointments left for PT.  Threee more currently scheduled but they were going over his charts/stats when we left and will let us know.

We are so thankful and so grateful and so happy!!!

Thanks again for prayers and love from each of you.    Hugs to you from me!  

Terry had a little headache this afternoon and rested and then ended up doing this!!!.....

Can you imagine how happy and thankful I am???????  29 days ago he had his stroke!!!

Sweet Comfort

Seems our life has sort of leveled out to our new norm.  Probably be involved with PT/OT therapy each morning M-F, either as outpatient or here at home.  noon lunch.  a snooze. and on with the day, looks to be our plan! 

He continues to just be doing marvelous and that makes us both happy as clams (how happy is that???!!)  The stroke situation is moving right along on track for that life train of experience.

The challenge right now is to figure out how to find something to help with his neuralgia.  So we will get to work on that.  Question in my mind....if you try acupuncture and you are on blood thinner, would that be an  Uh-oh...Oopsie....Sorry situation?   With little blood gushers in every needle poke hole?  A bit more thought needed before trying that as a possible remedy.  We'd already been cautioned to watch for little cuts etc.

In the midst of regrouping this last week, I've thought a lot about  things that helped me cope with this situation, of dealing with the shock of being awakened, from a sound sleep, with a bright blinding bedside lamp turned on and hearing....I think I'm having a stroke. Now if that won't wake you with a start then I don't know what will.  Truly I don't!

***********************************

I have been fascinated with Section 25 of the D&C since I first read it.  It's to Emma Smith.  A part of her charge (vs 11) was.... to make a selection of sacred hymns, as it shall be given thee, which is pleasing unto me, to be had in my church. 

(vs12) For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.

I was interested in this scripture about the power, residing in the singing, of those specifically selected Hymns.  Through the singing of those pleasing selections a person could bring blessings upon their heads! 

In 1985, 150 years from the printing of that first Hymnal mentioned in Sec. 25, the Church published a revised book.  We were in AK, and our son and his wife were earning money for college and living with us.  Lorrie plays the piano.  When the new hymnbooks arrived, she and I spent literally hours comparing all the hymns, seeing what was left out etc.  She then played all of the new hymns and also the changes in the old hymns.  It was wonderful.

The First Presidency wrote a preface and mentioned the worth/power of music in our Church Meetings, in Our Homes plus Our Personal Lives.  First Presidency Preface

************************************

What a source of available power to help us on our mortal trek!  I came to view the Hymnal as a group of prayer cards and decided to memorize as many as I could.  I felt if I memorized, I wouldn't be concerned about hitting the right notes but more concerned about the message.  My life has been so blessed by that decision.  I know lots of them and I actually believe that most people know lots of them without having even tried to memorize them.  Just like recipes, Wards seem to sort of sing the same hymns over and over.  and over and over.  and over and over.  You know what I mean!  For me when I sing from my heart then I really get the message.  I don't read music so I'm not bothered by how everything sounds as far as pitch.  I can follow an alto sitting next to me, otherwise I'm sort of rewriting the tune when left to my own warbling.

The personal blessing in my life, from hymns, is the fact that they will pop into my mind when I need to hear some direction, comfort or counsel.  When hard/harsh/challenging events enter our lives we don't usually have the peace of mind, or maybe even time, to calmly sit down in a quiet spot to study/ponder/research, as maybe we are in fast action mode with our own battle of coping/making decisions quickly.  It's all fast action but... if I have my Hymn bucket full of memorized hymns then the Spirit has access to all of those individual drops of music notes and phrases, and what I've put in, can easily be brought to my attention and can guide me and comfort me when I can't quite wrap my mind around the happenings as I'm not calm enough.  I can be calmed by a phrase.  then the hymn comes to my mind and I can sing/hum or run lyrics through my mind.  I LOVE this source of receiving blessings.   Multiple times it happened during this stroke episode.

Psalm- n. A sacred song.
Psalms- A book of the OT consisting of Psalms
Hymn-  Songs of praise to God
Hymn Book or Hymnal- a book of Hymns

We know about the Book of Psalms in the OT.  And how at the Last Supper, before Gethsemane ...they had sung an hymn... (Matt 26:30) We know about Joseph Smith requesting the many verses Hymn A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief, be sung several times while he was jailed just before his martyrdom.  We've read stories about the Pioneers and their plight and singing Hymns to rally and renew their hope and faith and comfort and inspire themselves.  Elder Packer pointed out the power of Hymns with the promise of memorizing one and calling it forth when your thoughts aren't what you want them to be.

Hymns are a bottomless well of pure water.  Refreshing me with  personal strength, hope, peace, comfort, direction plus letting me know with that revelation, just popping into my mind, that the Lord is aware of me.  Of us.  Of our challenge.  All of us.  Terry and I and each of you.  Just makes me teary to think of the goodness of the Lord.

Whatever mortal battle we are dealing with, we have many sources of help to walk on our own balance beams.  Hymns are a main one in my life if I'm at a crisis.

This time around in life challenges...here, in this favorite scripture of mine, is what Hymns have meant to me since the early morning of January 21, 2013.  Stroke day.

 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Ps46:1)

This week I will indulge myself and count my Hymn blessings. Well, at least some of them!!! I'll start posting tomorrow!!! 

Time to think...

So there he was, the day of the happenings- smitten by a stroke...nauseated to the point of painful misery... exploding headache starting to increase... tests being done and undergoing an Echo gram.

Echo gram

 When the young man finished his job and left with his equipment, I helped Terry get settled and pulled the sheet up under his chin in hopes he could rest and get some relief from his pain.  It was now full daylight outdoors and at a certain moment, the sunlight pored through the slatted blind and the curtain edge, onto the bed.  His white tousled hair was as white as the pillowcases and sheet.  A brilliant sheen.

The streams of light looked heavenly.

That set my mind to thinking about angels as I sat quietly watching him and praying for him.  I thought about my Mother and figured she was probably close by.  She died years ago but I always felt to be quiet, very still, when I thought of her & sensed she was near.  Perhaps checking on things?

I thought about Terry's Patriarchal blessing and how it says....

Dear brother, there have stood in thy presence those beyond the veil, whom you have not been aware of their presence.  They pray and intercede with the Lord in thy behalf.

That evening as I prepared to leave him in the care of nurses, knowing that I had to get some rest, I continued to think about angels and I thought of a real old song.  some sort of a children's lullaby sung by a Maryann Mendenhall Chorale about angels surrounding a child's bed.  describing what each angel guarded over.  so beautiful.  I could remember the tune and just some of the lyrics.  Later I tried to find in on the Internet but no luck.

I'm not one that believes that I have a guardian angel or anyone does for that matter.  Maybe some do and I'm ignorant of it.  I had a Catholic neighbor in Anchorage and she had St. Christopher as her Patron Saint.  She believed that deceased person was her guardian angel and would pray for help from him.  She had a medal that hung in her car from the mirror and a small statue.  One day the news came out with a story from the Vatican that, oops, St. Christopher never existed or wasn't venerated.  He was the most well known and favored of the Patron Saints.  I felt sad for her and told her so.  She said she didn't care what the Vatican said that she still believed in St. Christopher.  Wonder how all of that worked out and if he is a Patron Saint again?

I told her I was glad for the doctrine of the Holy Ghost.  Isn't that the best guardian angel? 

Arriving home I read an old 1988 article about guardian angels 

I remember reading and learning from this Ensign article. As I reread it, I can see those thoughts have stayed with me and influenced my thinking to this day.  I remember being fascinated when President Harold B. Lee shared that airplane incident and was glad it was in the article.

 Here are just a few quotes from the above article.  I hope you take time to read it and enjoy it.

*********************************

Who are these angels? The Lord has revealed that “there are no angels who minister to this earth but those who do belong or have belonged to it.” (D&C 130:5.) Such personages may be spirits—who have not yet been born into mortality or have lived on the earth but who have not yet been resurrected—or beings with tangible bodies who have been either resurrected or translated. (D&C 129:1–9 gives one of the meanings of the term angels as “resurrected personages” and distinguishes between them and “spirits,” acknowledging that either may appear. Many additional scriptures illustrate that the term angels may refer both to spirits and to resurrected or translated beings.)

******************************************

President Joseph F. Smith gave us some insight about angels who minister to those on the earth:

“When messengers are sent to minister to the inhabitants of this earth, they are not strangers, but from the ranks of our kindred, friends, and fellow-beings and fellow-servants. 

*******************************************

Elder John A. Widtsoe

“The common belief, however, that to every person born into the world is assigned a guardian angel to be with that person constantly, is not supported by available evidence. … An angel may be a guardian angel though he come only as assigned to give us special help. In fact, the constant presence of the Holy Spirit would seem to make such a constant, angelic companionship unnecessary.

“So, until further knowledge is obtained, we may say that angels may be sent to guard us according to our need; but we cannot say with certainty that there is a special guardian angel, to be with every person constantly.” (Improvement Era, April 1944, p. 225.)

******************************************

Elder Joseph Fielding Smith from Doctrines of Salvation

 Angels who minister in our behalf—whether seen or unseen—may include departed loved ones who are aware of our circumstances and are concerned about our welfare.

************************************************

Just as I care about my children that do not live near me and I can't see them- I still reach out to them in available ways.  I also feel that my/our deceased family members care about and check on us and watch over us.  They pray for us (remember Terry's Patriarchal blessing?).  I do that as an earthly Mother.  Isn't that a Heavenly pattern?  I think so.  If angels are necessary in our lives then they will definitely appear as needed.  A specific, all the time nearby, guardian angel?  I don't have one.  I have a friend in Florida that would debate me on that, with fervent testimony, to the point of generating enough hot-air heat to ignite laundry lint!

Restoration

Sunday.  Fast Sunday.  His first Sunday home after rehab stay.  We both really wanted to go to Church and share our gratitude for so many blessings.  He was to weak to go and neither of us are impressed with ourselves, if we try and pull stunts of attendance to impress others, with our seemingly faithfulness of never missing Church.  So we opted to stay home and go when his strength allows.  He is stronger every single day!  Can't even believe it and I see it happening right before my eyes!!  Amazing!

We might have tended to monopolize the meeting as our blessings have been so great!

Blessings.  Oh, the beauty of blessings!  I know that I've blogged before about Priesthood blessings and how I am a firm believer in them.  I didn't label these posts good enough to find the one I did earlier but suffice it to say,  as a former Baptist believing that the heavens are closed and ministers are God's representatives and Priesthood is not a word that was in my vocabulary and I had no idea about James or how that worked that I now rejoice in what I know to be true.

Terry and I have grown in our faith and understanding of receiving these blessings and he, has grown in faith and understanding in giving these blessings.  He has given many blessings over the years to his family.  I have been the blessed recipient of many, many blessings.

He had learned about blessing the sick and then, I know I've shared this before.... I went to a wedding in the Oakland Temple, the officiator asked if the men in the room had given their wives blessings and they all raised their hands.  Then he said, he didn't mean when they were sick, but just for everyday living, for comfort and encouragement, when they are having a tough time with daily life.  Not one man could raise his hand.  He then challenged them to use their Priesthood for blessing the lives of their wives.  Often.  And that is what Terry has done.

I've learned the sweetness of comfort and direction and answers and peace that has come to me through that inspiration.

If you lined up all the men in the world that hold the Priesthood and asked who would I want to give me a blessing...it would be my Terry.  My next choice would be my son, Greg.  And 3rd would be my grandson, Lance.  Why?  because they use their portion of the Priesthood and they know how to let the words flow.  They know, as Terry has taught them...Be bold.  Don't hold the Spirit back.

I've been told, and I believe, when a blessing is given that it's as if Heavenly hands are on the Priesthood holder's head and that power travels through those clean hands into the recipient and the words come forth from that pure heart.  It's  not a prayer.  It's not asking.  It's a declaration.  It's stating what the Lord want us to know...to do....to have...to expect.  We are comforted, buoyed and inspired by those words.

When push comes to shove and I feel in dire straights, I want someone that understands that Priesthood power and his ability to deliver a message via that blessing-- be it courage,comfort or healing.  If we have a HT that loves and cares for us and I have confidence in, then I'm fine with them helping to assist Terry if I need a blessing of administration.  True they have the power and the Lord will use them all the time but in really serious situations, my faith is made stronger with a man that feels as we do, about the use of that power.

Unable to reach our HT, and at Terry's request, I called our friend Bob at 6:30am, asking him to come to the hospital.  We are on the same page as far as Priesthood blessings go.  He did what we knew he'd do...try to call the HP leader or find someone else to assist him, don his white shirt and tie, grab his oil and arrive in short order.

Two honorable men arrived.  Both named Bob.  Terry and I both listened very closely to what was said blessing wise and one word jumped out at both of us.  Restoration.  I thought at the time that I'd never heard that word in a blessing of healing before and was fascinated at the prospect of restoration. Terry is on an emergency room bed, right in front of me, unable to move his left arm at all and his left leg feels weak as happens in the aftermath of a stroke.  Restoration?  Really?  How can that happen?  How can that be?

In the midst of all the rush, hubbub, tests and increasing pain, I said...Did you hear what Bob said?  Terry said... Restoration.  That was the word we held onto for the next 11 days.  That was the word on our minds when he moved his thumb a teeny bit. 

On the day he was released, before he came home, he insisted we go to Bob's so he could thank his friend for the blessing and to tell him we held onto that word Restoration.  We both witnessed that Restoration happening, rather the results of it, and even right now he feels changes that occur, during the nighttime, each morning when he gets up stronger than when he went to bed. We continue daily to think about that word and it's meaning.  If his progress stopped right now, and he had partial restoration, we'd still be astonished at the miracle we have witnessed.

We have therapy work to do and a ways to go but we will do our part to claim that blessing.  I found it interesting that Bob did not remember what he'd said.  I've seen that with Terry and Greg also...them not remembering what they've said.

My prayer is that all of us will enjoy this miraculous Priesthood power in our homes for our daily lives.  If there is not a man in your home or no Priesthood power there, no one is left out, use your HT or Bishop if you don't have your Dad or your brother nearby.  The same man that told the men to use the power in their homes also told the women to ask for blessings.  I know there have been some conference talks about blessings of comfort.


I love the Gospel.  I love the  Priesthood power...It has blessed my life in so many ways at so many times.  Makes me teary to think of it.

Awesome

Is any sick among you?  let him
call for the elders of the church; and
let them pray over him, anointing
him with oil in the name of the Lord:

And the prayer of faith shall
save the sick, and the Lord shall
raise him up; and if he have committed
sins, they shall be forgiven him.

Confess your faults one to another,
and pray one for another,
that ye may be healed.  The effectual
fervent prayer of a righteous
man availeth much.  (James 5:14-16)

(Remember to take time to pray and repent!)
************************************

Section 20 of Handbook
20.1  General Instructions on Priesthood Ordinances and Blessings.
...............Those who give priesthood blessings speak words of blessing (I {or we} bless you that...")
rather than saying a prayer ("Heavenly Father, please bless this person that...") 

*********************************************

Also....let's say you are sick and you need to be administered to with oil.  Things move along and then you are not feeling so chipper and wish you could have another blessing.  If what you are feeling is related to what you originally had the blessing for then you don't need to be administered to again but you can just be blessed and that will be an extension of that original administration.  Does that make sense?  Terry was administered to by Bob and Bob.  He had an evening when he felt really crummy and our HT dropped by and Terry asked him if he would give him a blessing.  So he did.  I think it's sort of like a warranty with no end date!

See Administering to the Sick   20.6
then check 20.6.1   4th paragraph....

If a person requests more than one blessing for the same illness, the priesthood holder need not anoint with oil after the first blessing.  Instead, he gives a blessing by the laying on of hands and the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.

***************************************************

Also in 20.6.2 and 20.6.3  I really appreciate the counsel to "places his hands lightly on the person's head...."   and  "place their hands lightly on the head of the person" 

Progress...

Terry can't believe how weak he is overall but on the hand he can't believe how strong he is overall!! He just keeps progressing. I'll be back to regular blogging after this copy of my.... (note to children) Hi dear ones...a quiet Sunday for us. We opted to stay home as Dad was to weak. We will get sure footing (no pun intended but a good one!) and then proceed. Today he enjoyed doing every single thing for his shower. Had a good night's sleep. Headache came but he was able to get on top of it and that was good. Tomorrow morning after we are up and at 'em, we will head over to Yakima to the Outpatient rehab center and see what they have planned as far as how many times a week and how many sessions before he's used up all his bus tokens! That will determine scheduling our life. This morning he said again...I feel stronger than yesterday. It's an amazing beautiful event. We are strengthened by your love and prayers. Thanks ever so much! Here is an absolutely adorable picture of your Father! I told him to look like a king so this is his take on a Royal pose!! The Viking King!!! Your parents love each of you! Oh, Bryce has a birthday on the 5th! Happy Birthday, Bryce!! Mom (I don't know why it won't show the picture. sorry. I'll try again.)

Whew!!!

note to children....

Whew!!! What an adventure for the last 11 days! He's home. We are both tired and going to just relax until Monday morning when he has his first outpatient rehab appointment. They will tell us then how often etc. We stopped by Safeway to drop off his Rx. Saw Bob Earl and thanked him for the blessing he gave him and for being his good friend. Headed home to see Kipper, the pups and his recliner and bed. He ate a bowl of soup and is now sound asleep on his own bed. He had been looking forward to that so much!

The Alaskan cod is thawing from it's flash frozen state for his requested dinner tonight. I'm headed over to Safeway to pick up his Rx and coming home and I'm not going anywhere or doing anything except wear my robe and relax.

So happy and feel so good.

Dad and I want to go on a train trip and also, in another venue, take ballroom dancing-- when he's stronger. Guess who chose which activity to do together!!!

I'll check back in when we awake from our long winter's nap!

Should have got a picture of him with Bob Earl. Later.

love you and appreciate how good you are to your parents.

Good job, Team Seljestad!!! Kipper was terrific!

Mother

All dressed to travel and waiting for discharge

another nice nurse

Seth was so great to him.  His PT

Every word must be read outloud to you

ready to get in car!

Home.  Recliner.  Freedom.  Miracles!!!!

Last night at rehab!!!

Beautiful freedom.  Independence.  Whiteboard gift.  Magic of magic marker!

Tomorrow is the big day.  We are both so excited and happy.  He misses his chair and his bed. We miss being together.  We will lounge around and start his home therapy on Monday.  Not therapists coming to home but the two of us doing therapy in our home.  And walking.  Lots of walking.  Good wholesome food etc. etc.

***********************************

Today I was reminded of how wonderful the Holy Ghost is.  I was getting ready to go to the Rehab and suddenly the thought popped into my mind... Zaycon fish is today. I hadn't given it a thought that early December I'd ordered salmon and cod that would be delivered on Jan. 31st.  Today!  I couldn't remember the delivery time and thought I'd missed it but I hadn't.  It was in the evening.  Heading up to see Terry, I took my receipt and had my GPS,  as I couldn't place where the delivery spot was.  they would be there for pick-ups one hour.  Only one. 

I left Terry, and he gave me directions to get to street.  I went to car to set my GPS and couldn't figure out a part of it.  I decided to just follow Terry's direction but I turned the wrong way and ended up on the freeway and time was running out.  I was breaking into a sweat as this was not a little package of frozen fish.  It was a big package!! Actually 2 packages!!

I was praying that I'd not be late and that I'd find the delivery place as I had no clue where it was.  Suddenly the thought popped into my mind....It's behind the Stake Center.  And there it was!  Tucked away behind the Stake Center.  The truck was waiting for me.  I so appreciated that man. 

The Holy Ghost is so kind in bringing things to our remembrance.  I felt so unworthy of such kind help but I still recognized where it came from and it was so appreciated.  

Later I remembered that Shannon had told me where that place was and also some of the Wards in our Stake took some meals for the homeless and I think that was the place I wrote them to go to but at the moment when I desperately needed that fact, I drew a blank.. 

To much going on and my single-minded Stroke focus and rushing and panic feelings worked against me remembering details but the Holy Ghost gently spoke twice and helped me.  My life is blessed with/by this Gift.  Lots of gratitude going on in my heart. 

*****************************************

Therapy!! 

I is for Independent!

Good morning!  Yesterday was one of the happiest days ever!  They marked his schedule board with I's.  I for independent!  He is free to walk anywhere, indoors or outdoors, on his own!  No one needs to be with him!  Just his cane!

I was so happy for that freedom--for both of us--that it wiped me out!  I was so tired that I came home and took a long nap.  I had realized the last couple of days that I'd been thinking/wondering how were we going to accomplish what needed to be done and regular life at the same time, when he comes home.  I had no idea how deep that concern was until I heard the news that he won't be restricted because of waiting for someone to be next to him.... if he wants to do something, like go to his garage which he's always puttering around in, or go for a short walk, or sit on porch, or walk around at Church, or any of those other little jaunts considered normal.  We have been blessed beyond measure in this entire trial.

I continue to feel at peace but I never know exactly what comes with that peace package.  I knew we'd make it together but I still didn't know what the future held.  And in a way I still don't but I do know he has been blessed beyond measure in his recovery and we are thankful to our innermost selves.  Soul-deep.

We have experienced the miraculous power of Priesthood blessings, results of united prayer from family, friends and strangers that care and also pray.

As we experience the challenges/trials/adversities of life, and live that visible physical life, there is also an inner spiritual life going on.  That physical life is filled with data, drugs, therapy and etc.  At the same time the spirit is speaking and is calming, peaceful & hopeful. I've had several wonderful times of being sustained by the Spirit. I look forward to sharing those happenings with you, that are etched in my heart, when life settles just a bit more.

He is coming home tomorrow!!!!  We are both so excited!! 

This is my life right now.

Dad had another great day! He admittedly is weak and lacks some strength but he's trying so hard and has moved ahead to the point that he is going to come home on FRIDAY!!! Tonight he talked about having friends come see him in the evening. Of course he starts to feel that way 2 days before he comes home! It was good to know he has that desire even though the days wear him out. They said he will have to continue home therapy in order to have more recovery. He's ready to do that. He will follow the rehabs plan of a walk and light therapy on Sat. and no therapy on Sunday. That will give him time to catch his breath. Because he came in on a Tuesday he's only had Sunday off. They have to document 5 days a week of therapy and all the details of the 3 hours spent per patient. I never really understood the importance of PT and OT before. Guess I never really understood the brain! Those workers are my favorite people. They do incredible things.

I miss Dad so much and will be glad when he is home. I'm with him during the day but it's still hard to leave. We are used to being around each other day & night. There are a lot of unknowns with him coming home. Uncrossed bridges. A lot of people have wanted to help but with Dad going through his battle and me not here at the house we didn't really need anything but this may be a different story and we may take them up on their offers although I still don't know what we need!

Thank you for every single prayer, love note, pictures and good thoughts.

My heart is so tender towards Dad. He looked so innocent and pure to me tonight. It's 11:30. I'm rambling.

Love,

Mother

PS- Dad is not eating any desserts. The last thing he ate was chocolate cake. Says he will never eat cakes, pies, cookies, candies etc.

In the loop

good morning!  Our son had been keeping his siblings posted and now I have used the time that I could blog to tell my kiddo's the happening.  If you don't mind I'll share those with you today.
His recovery is such a testament to the power of united prayer and Priesthood power.  I have some personal incidents to share but right now I'm getting ready for my day so that will be later.  Thanks so much for your prayers and love.

To children yesterday--

Hello to all. I know you are worried but things are moving along so just keep the prayers and faith going. Just came home to do 3 loads of laundry. In between folding- so wanted to drop a line. Amazing how he is doing. A week ago he couldn't hardly stand up with assistance. This morning they gave him the go ahead to get up out of bed, walk in room with cane, totally go to bathroom....all on his own. doesn't need to let nurse know at all! also he can walk with me down hall or wherever he wants with his cane. We can go anywhere he wants but if a long distance then I need to take a wheelchair. 

The PT Therapist this morning said that his improvement was so great that he was concerned that it was a "false reading" and didn't know whether to write it on chart or wait until tomorrow and check him again. After he left, Dad said...I sure could tell him a lot about blessings and the power of prayer and the love of people and my great kids. We are both stunned at his progress. Plus he finally got his first nights sleep in a week and he has started eating and headache is gone and nausea is gone and IV is gone. I could not believe how straight and firm he walked with the PT and no cane. Amazing! We continue to just focus on his Therapies and rest. I'm doing fine. I won't overdo as I know that would be foolish. People are so generous in their offers and I feel bad to say we are fine but we are. Kipper watches out for us. He will make me a beautiful salad for dinner. I feel very peaceful inside. We will be in battle mode when he comes home with outpatient therapy and other exercises and good food. I'm thinking that he may end up like a reformed smoker and be telling everyone whether they want to hear it or not about....boy, do all you can to not have a stroke and then tell his story. More than once!! Kipper and I were talking about him going to be like Jack LaLanne and maybe wear a headband like Richard Simmons and being my exercise coach. Spare me!!!

Anyhow things are looking miraculously incredibly fantastically amazing and we are so grateful.

He has learned so much from these therapists and I have also. He expresses appreciation to them. I thought of Maureen and her therapy skills. What a service for people to receive. Oh, wow!!! Isn't it Murphy's birthday today!!!??

Sorry about that.

Dryer buzzing.

I will send you a couple of pictures for you to see that he's alive and mostly well.

Love each of you!!!

Mom

 dear children...you would not believe how great he is doing. He said he feels very weak overall but he works like a monster man!! We can just feel the power of love and prayer as his brain heals and that reconnection makes marvelous things happen. We are still working our game plan of rest and therapy. And I keep myself busy fluffing my pom-poms and checking my pony-tail as I cheer for him in my poodle skirt!!

Today he had the head speech therapist come in and she evaluated him. Ended up telling him that he doesn't need another visit with her so that was great. She shared in conversation a fact about drivers' licenses. Interesting that they don't just automatically take your drivers license when you have a stroke. The Dr. can tell you that you shouldn't drive until he clears you but technically there is no law stating you can't. sort of scary to contemplate!!

Today Dad was told that he needs to wear high-tops tennis shoes to aid his balance! That will be interesting. He is an excellent patient in that he does no arguing, feels they are there to help him and he accepts their advice. Those tennis shoes?...uh-huh...ALL the time! What were those boots in AK that were so popular? maybe they would work.

He uses a cane and they are going to get him one that stays upright when you let go of it. He walks so great with it. I assume he will go home with one. Always have to use it???? I don't know yet.

You know how opening jars etc. we say....lefty loosey. righty tighty. ? In teaching Dad how to walk on the practice stairs, the therapist gave him a way to remember it. He said...You know how in the Bible it says that good people go up to Heaven and bad people go down to hell? Going up the stairs ...good leg first. Going down the stairs...bad leg first. Good-up. Bad-down. So there you go in case you have a bum leg.

He can tie his tennis shoes and tries to use both hands which is what they want. That was a first today.

When I take him for a little ride in the wheelchair, I always let/make him push the button with his left hand. At first it was thrashing but they have taught him to slow down and focus and he has become more certain in use of his hand. A lady was so kind and held the elevator door open because of his wheelchair. I stopped and let him stab at the buttons and her face showed that she thought I was not so nice but we are battling for full use of his arm and that is a part of it.

Pictures-- he is tying his shoes. waving to reassure you he is okay. and then being ridiculous and re-enacting that movie...Weekend at Bernie's? by holding his bad arm up. bad acting. Gong!!

I'm pacing myself and it was wonderful and felt normal to do up some laundry and fold it and load up the dishes. It just felt sort of comforting, relaxing and soothing. Not a burden. Just homey.

Kipper fixed a great salad tonight.

I feel very peaceful inside. We are in for what may be a marathon of effort to help Dad but I truly believe that I am witnessing a miracle right before my eyes. We will deal with whatever comes our way as you know how those lutefisk lovers are!!!

take care and know that your parents love and appreciate you so very much.

Mother

At rehab inbetween therapy session

First day-Echo Gram also note upchuck bag

Speech Therapy testing-checking for brain damage

PT showing him fish pictures

PT checking his gait.  No cane.  Awesome.  Roadrunner man.

Yes!  using both hands.  success!!!!

reassuring family that he is okay.

no cane!!  left arm in place! straight posture!!

working on balance.  still on IV in this one. so physically sick at that time.

Sunday night

today, Sunday, started off pretty rough with Terry's battle.  He could not get his mind quiet and slept little, had a headache.  He said he wasn't worrying but his mind was just alive with songs from Abba running around and putting the Christmas things up in the garage etc.  All things he'd done and was reliving or hearing.  We were in hopes for visitors but he was pretty wiped out.  So we put a stop to that.  The Dr.s are so great in figuring out the right meds for him and eventually things leveled out.  that was so wonderful!!  he was able to eat and got some rest.  Hopefully Monday will be awesome and he can really have a lot of oomph to do his therapy.  My thoughts are jumbled!

Here is how his days go.....

He has 3 hours of Therapy a day. awakened at 7, dress, eat breakfast, rest, 45 minutes of PT therapy, rest, 45 minutes of OT therapy, rest, eat lunch, rest, 45 minutes of PT therapy, rest, 45 minutes of OT therapy, rest, dinner at 5pm. The therapy is exhausting but he is doing so great and making such great strides. You can see why he can't deal with a social life like having people visit during day as he crashes after his therapy each time.  It's intense but so worth it. 

Random thoughts

First.  Thank you for caring.  Thank you for praying and thank you for your love.  When traumatic events happen it creates a detour that none of us have ever been on.  There have been so many offers of help and each is appreciated.  We didn't need meals or the likes but we sure wanted prayers and we received them.  In abundance.  Thank you!

 Terry has an excellent attitude of...This is life.  Let's deal with it.  No questioning or whining or feeling sorry for himself. 

 He is moving ahead rapidly and we are just amazed and thankful.  My thoughts are all scrambled into a weeks worth of scrambled events.

A week ago today we ended our Sunday as we always do by going to bed.  We stayed up to late.  Again!  Probably 6am I was awakened by him turning on his lamp and shocking me by saying....I think I'm having a stroke.  He was right.

From there it's been a mad dash of tests and evaluations and rehab.  I am so thankful for rehab and how things are going.  Thankful for specialists.

Thoughts are strange sometimes in their randomness.  Some of my thoughts have been so random!

He's having an Echo gram to check his heart, to see if they can trace where the blood clot originated and I'm watching all of this, sitting against the back wall, facing the screen and the tech's back and looking at Terry on the bed and suddenly out of nowhere the thought pops into my mind...I don't know how to tie a necktie.  What if he can't ever tie a necktie?  Will I take him to Church and ask the first man I see to tie his tie?  Maybe I can have someone teach me that skill?  Could the Deacons Quorum take that on as a service project?  To weekly make sure his tie is tied?

Random.  For sure.

 He was admitted early Monday morning, diagnosed with a TIA/mini-stroke, & spent the night.  Tuesday, around 4:30 he was going to come home. We were excited to think he was leaving to come home but as we were about to leave, the entire plan changed.  He was going to rehab as an in-patient.  It was really hectic and we didn't even come home for a minute.  We went right up to the Stroke Center.

He wanted to come home and I wanted the same thing.  I felt emotional and so did he but we decided to not start crying.  We were tired and had been through a lot of shock.  That was very hard to leave him there but he wanted me to go home that night and I knew I needed to.  He wasn't in danger, they were professionals monitoring him closely, and he had no pain.  We had talked in the car about me staying rested and strong etc.  So I drove off late that night and headed home.

As women, with our divine nurturing nature, we are automatically tuned in to multitask in caring for our chicks and even our tough old roosters.  I felt like I dropped my only child off at some new daycare.  I wanted to leave them a list of what he needed and make sure they'd check on him etc. etc.
In the middle of the night I awoke with a start...what if they didn't give him the Plavix???!!!  They had taken him off of aspirin and went "next step above aspirin".  I had not filled the Rx from the hospital.  At the rehab center I was to show the nurses what the hospital doctor wanted him on.  The rehab nurses said they had their own Doctor and their own Rx and that might not be given.  The Rehab Dr. would decide.  So I awake in a panic that he has no aspirin AND no Plavix....Does he have Thick blood!  Sludging towards his brain?  Clots!! Another stroke?  At any minute!  I need to call them.  Did they check the chart?  Do they know?  Maybe I should go over there even though it's 2am?   Me hyperventilating!!!  Prayer calmed me and reassurance came and I kept to my original plan of staying in bed until 7am.

Yesterday morning, 5 days later,  as I headed over, I suddenly felt so overwhelmed with mentally scanning through the what if  book.  What if the car breaks down?  What if our kids think we are a burden because maybe we are or will be?  What if he can't go to the Temple?  What if we run out of $$$?  What if they tell us we need to build a new bathroom?  What if I can't do my Church calling?  What if he can't get the Christmas tree down for next year?  What if he can't go to McCall?  What if he falls and breaks a hip?  What if I get sick?  What if he has another stroke?  What if the brain damage causes him to be a horrible mean man?  What if he gets depressed?  Rapid fire doubts rolled over me like a steam roller and tears welled up.

I said a little --help me.  Please-- prayer.  Immediately the quote from Joseph Smith, popped into my mind, about doubt and faith cannot be in the same thought.  You either have one or the other.  And then the words to the hymn, I will not doubt, I will not fear popped into my mind.  I ran those words through my mind.  and then a reminder thought popped up ...reading the what if  book of my future imaginings was as much a waste of time as reading the if only book of the previous years of my life.  What if...dealing with the future.  If only... dealing with the past.  I can't change either one.  One dealing with worry over non-existent future happenings and the other dealing with guilt/regret over a past event.  A total waste of energy.  I pulled my thoughts into the present and breathed deep and looked at how things really were at that very moment.  Now is called the present because it is a gift. (not my original idea but one that impacted me when I read it years ago) 

And that present moment, was a good place to be, as I drove down the freeway and looked at how wonderful things are right this second!  He can talk.  He can walk.  He can feed himself and all those simple tasks that get you going for the day.  Rehab is strengthening all those areas!  At that moment, that very moment, all was well.

Last night when I came home I got out the Hymnal and read/sang/hummed #128. 

When Faith Endures

I will not doubt, I will not fear;

God's love and strength are always near.

His promised gift helps me to find

An inner strength and peace of mind.

I give the Father willingly 

My Trust, my prayers, humility,

His Spirit guides; 

his love assures 

That fear departs when faith endures.

Decision making time.

Writing this late Tuesday night.  To tired to write what is in my heart but it will just simmer all night and in the morning I'll jot it down.  A long 2 days.  This evening I drove Terry to Yakima and put him in an inpatient rehab hospital facility for intense therapy.  They feel they can help him to recover faster.  We both hope so and decided to go for it.  Felt like I dropped him off at boot camp!!!  will write on Wednesday, which is actually today!

thanks for all the love and prayers.  So needed and so appreciated.

Life. Oh, sometimes it's hard to deal with!!!

No post today. 

Have Terry in Hospital with a mini-stroke or a TDI/TDA or whatever they call it.  He is okay.  Has regained lots of arm strength compared to where he was and will hopefully be home in the evening. 

Not meaning to be abrupt etc. but I'm heading to bed.

It was a mighty long Monday.   I'm tired!

I so appreciate men that realize the importance of priesthood blessings and are willing to come to hospital and give needed blessings.  Love blessings.  I believe in them.  100%

These mortal experiences are not fun but we all have them and we have to get through them.  And no whining allowed!

Details later.  

Prayers appreciated. 

We are fine.  Just need prayers.

Thanks!!!!