Yesterday was my sweet hubby's birthday! I baked his first Cocoalight Cake (original recipe on the blue-labeled tin Crisco can) when he turned 18. A very long time ago. Yesterday he turned 81. The reversal of those numbers is an entire lifetime...of both of us. Time marches on!
And as time marches on, we aren't the high-steppers that we once thought ourselves to be. We still hold hands and it's more a steadying of each other than a romantic gesture of warmth and affection! There is an extreme comfort to have spent our individual lifetimes together. There are no pretenses that we feel obligated to hold up ...acceptance of our flawed selves, by each other, is comforting and sustaining.
This isn't about an anniversary! This is about his birthday!
This was a birthday that wasn't some big hoo-haw. This was a birthday that I felt gratitude that he is physically doing better.
I thought our journey of a downhill battle began 6 weeks ago on Labor Day but when I double checked the date this morning...Labor Day was 7 weeks ago!
A downhill battle while sliding backwards down an steep icy mountain...unable to find a foothold...nothing leveling out to where I could get a grip on the happenings. It started with that big seizure on Labor Day and that started the slide! and in that lighting speed plummet...a weakening of his body...speech slurring increase every day...balance loss noticeably from the time he got up until bedtime...diagnosed with 2 fatal rare diseases and then thankfully having a Neurologist take those off of the table...body just fading- a melting down when standing...a fading...a collapsing...Brain scans and EEG and on and on- all producing nothing!
Just at the time our 5 kiddos were wanting to come home and as we were all trying to figure out what to do...it got figured out! It was the Rx he was given at the Hospital to stave off further seizures! From the get-go Terry had said he didn't like how he was feeling with it. He was right! The neurologist had us decrease off of that Rx and put him on another one and the change was nothing short of a miracle! The last 3 days, of that 7 weeks, was startling in how rapidly his speech cleared and balance came back to where it had been or maybe even a bit better. (someone is going to ask...what was the Rx...so here is the name for you curious souls!...Levtiracetam)
He now has PT, here at home 2x a week...still has health issues but nothing like we were dealing with for those 7 weeks!
Why do I share this now? I have no idea except I just did. I guess it's about life sometimes just takes over our plans, our grand personal plans of living our lives. Sometimes our life plans that we are crafting and planning and excited about, are put on the back burner, while we in rapid fire order figure out how to survive daily life living on quicksand! Such was my life for 7 very intense weeks.
You have experienced your own pressure cooker experience. It's a part of life!
The gospel and the gift of the Holy Ghost and the power of prayer and the kindness and the goodness and the love of encouraging friends plus the dynamic of our family have been so uplifting and appreciated.
Time. This has been a rough time, punctuated by the goodness of the reality of my testimony that nothing escapes the eye of God. He is aware and was aware and He gave me strength when I felt there was none left.
Time. It just ticks away. Today I'm thinking of the Grandmother Clock that I have. It was my Mother's and I love it! I'm glad it's not a huge Grandfather Clock because our place is way to tiny for that but this clock is perfect for us!
In 1976, my Mother wanted a Revere Wear pan. That December, close to Christmas, a knock on her door and a man with a clipboard and his delivery truck in the driveway, said he was there to deliver your clock. My Mother explained that he was wrong...she had not ordered a clock. Even though the name and address were correct...it was not hers. The man then said that he was to tell her...this is your Revere Ware pan!
Yes. My Dad!
The top of the clock comes off and inside, written in my Mother's neat penmanship she called the clock her Revere Ware pan. I just tried to lift the top off and I can't do it! sometime I'll have one of my sons lift it off and share her note with you.
I'm feeling more upright and back on a track that is less slippery and not as downhilly!! I'm getting a grip!! Sort of! Kind of!
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