She shared this poem on her FB page and I asked if I might share it too. Perhaps you know someone, besides yourself, that this might give strength and hope to. Please feel free to share it.
I remember when she made a one time FB statement, wanted no comments or advice or feedback from anyone-- announcing that she had ended her Temple marriage, had her 4 children with her, youngest not yet 1 year old, and was going to rebuild her life. I have watched her blossom and become strong in so many ways.
Her determination and resolve were so strong that eventually she legally even gave herself a brand new last name!-- Tiare. I thought her new last name meant star. Couldn't remember so checked with her and also was trying to remember how old she was. She sent me this as part of a note.....
Tiare means "beautiful flower" and is the name of a type of gardenia that grows in the South Pacific. My birthday is next week and I will be 36. My children are 10, 9, 6, and 3. I have been a single parent for just over 2 years now.
Ember of Life
By
Amy Tiare
My heart beats
But it does not live
I breathe the air
But only to survive
Where has the joy gone?
Where is the hope?
All I know is pain
There are those who say,
“You need not fear!”
“It’s not as bad as you think!”
“Just forgive!”
“Be grateful!”
But they don’t live in my house
They don’t walk in my shoes
I’m withering away into nothingness
I am alone…
I cry out
But no one hears
Or so I think
Someone is watching from a distance
Waiting
Waiting
Wanting to assist
Waiting for me to ask
Can I ask?
Can I reach out?
No!
But I must
The pain of staying has become too great
If I stay, I will die
If I leave, I may die
Why do I still breathe?
Why do I wake up each morning?
Why can’t I just slip away into nonexistence?
It would be easier…
Or would it?
My heart beats wildly
A choice is made
I must reach out
Before the last cooling ember loses all charge
With what feels to be my final breathe
I call out,
“Help! Please!”
Instantly I am surrounded
Hands grasp me from all directions
From places I never knew existed
Whisked away into safety
Hidden away from danger
Spoon-fed until the strength returns
And it does
Slowly at first
Ever so slowly
The nights are long
Days even longer
Weary
Overwhelmed
But safe
The dying ember glows brighter
Beginning to grow
Growing stronger some days
Fading other days
But never returning to what it once was
Always gaining ground
Until one day there is no ember
Now there is a fire
Growing hot
Growing bold
The fire must be fed
Some days I am strong enough to feed it on my own
Other days I must allow others to feed it
One day,
One day soon,
I want to feed others
The way I have been fed
There is the hope
The hope that was once lost
Beginning small
Growing each day
Hope of a better tomorrow
Hope of a better today
Hope of a fire that burns bright enough to help others
My heart beats
It beats with hope
I breathe the air
Wanting to live
A spark of joy
A spark of hope
Today is a new day
With the glowing ember of life.
By
Amy Tiare
My heart beats
But it does not live
I breathe the air
But only to survive
Where has the joy gone?
Where is the hope?
All I know is pain
There are those who say,
“You need not fear!”
“It’s not as bad as you think!”
“Just forgive!”
“Be grateful!”
But they don’t live in my house
They don’t walk in my shoes
I’m withering away into nothingness
I am alone…
I cry out
But no one hears
Or so I think
Someone is watching from a distance
Waiting
Waiting
Wanting to assist
Waiting for me to ask
Can I ask?
Can I reach out?
No!
But I must
The pain of staying has become too great
If I stay, I will die
If I leave, I may die
Why do I still breathe?
Why do I wake up each morning?
Why can’t I just slip away into nonexistence?
It would be easier…
Or would it?
My heart beats wildly
A choice is made
I must reach out
Before the last cooling ember loses all charge
With what feels to be my final breathe
I call out,
“Help! Please!”
Instantly I am surrounded
Hands grasp me from all directions
From places I never knew existed
Whisked away into safety
Hidden away from danger
Spoon-fed until the strength returns
And it does
Slowly at first
Ever so slowly
The nights are long
Days even longer
Weary
Overwhelmed
But safe
The dying ember glows brighter
Beginning to grow
Growing stronger some days
Fading other days
But never returning to what it once was
Always gaining ground
Until one day there is no ember
Now there is a fire
Growing hot
Growing bold
The fire must be fed
Some days I am strong enough to feed it on my own
Other days I must allow others to feed it
One day,
One day soon,
I want to feed others
The way I have been fed
There is the hope
The hope that was once lost
Beginning small
Growing each day
Hope of a better tomorrow
Hope of a better today
Hope of a fire that burns bright enough to help others
My heart beats
It beats with hope
I breathe the air
Wanting to live
A spark of joy
A spark of hope
Today is a new day
With the glowing ember of life.
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