I met her the first night I moved from Alaska at a RS meeting. I knew the Whites and the Bracketts. Had never seen Zillah. Had never seen the place that we rented for 3 months because there was no other way to make sure we had a place to live. Linda stopped at a store for me to buy a dress to wear to RS. Myra Faye always remembered what I wore and would remind me...I was impressed that you came to RS after flying and moving. That is something I would do.
Terry was still at the North Slope and she and Bob would take me to meetings with them and tell me about the Church in this area, about the Toppenish Ward, and introduce me to the Valley and it's produce. She drove me to someplace in OR? to buy canned fruit and asked them if it was current crop or last years. I had never heard of such a thing. Wasn't canned fruit just canned fruit? was there some difference? Yes, there is.
We were not alike in so many ways. She- a city girl from Chicago and me- a pioneer type Alaskan. She maintained her civility and I was more rogue.
In the 25 years I've known her she has had her hair styled each Friday. She figured out a way to sleep and maintain that hairdo for the week. She could swim in her pool that she loved and not muss her hair. She would be shocked when I would attack my hair with my pinking shears. She never touched her hair and probably thought the same thing of me!!
She did not color her hair and said that her son John is my living proof. I gave him my hair color. With her first round of radiation she said I know it's vain of me but I don't want to lose my hair. She lost a small section in the back. With the second battle, against so many unknowns and this time against brain cancer she said I don't care about my hair. I don't care if I lose it all. She lost the back but kept all of her curls in the top and sides. I was glad and told her so. It really doesn't matter to me. She just wanted to beat the cancer and not think of hair loss.
Today I looked at my calendar and see the days we went to matinees. I see Jan 17th I took her for her hair appointment. She had stopped driving. Then I see other Fridays I took her. I'd wait while she had her hair done and I see on Apr. 11 that I wrote MF 10am/ me 11:45. Missy did us both one after the other. Her last hair appointment was that day.
I'm still stunned by the time frame. 4 weeks ago today we were at the Gen. Woman's Broadcast and now, exactly 4 weeks later, she has passed away! I keep trying to absorb the speed of everything.
While she could still talk and was up we worked on her birthday cards for her children and grandchildren. We didn't get them all done but I will tell them how important it was to her. and anniversary cards. She said she had not got her obituary done and had always wanted to write her own. I said she could dictate it and I'd write it and type it up. By the next day that was an impossibility and we never did that. A loving family member will do that for her and it will be just great.
She was very strong willed and opinionated on things that really mattered. She was a patriot and loved our country and was very current on politics. She was intelligent and started reading at a real early age. She loved to read newspapers. I was forever canceling the Yakima paper due to such flimsy reporting and poor writing. Alaska's capital...Juno??? She would call me and ask have you renewed your subscription. I'd say no. She'd then tell me to go online and read such and such. She would clip articles that she thought I'd enjoy.
She always had stacks of books on all sorts of subjects. One night at book club she had her trunk filled with books to give away. She loved ordering online. She would order books for her family and recommend that I do the same. 7 Miracles that Saved America was her last suggestion. She was an avid reader. One time we were at our bookclub, reviewing the book Snow Flower and The Secret Fan. The discussion leader asked if anyone in the group had a friendship that was so deep that they would be their Old Same. (I know this is making no sense to you) It was a friendship that was a heart connection. Myra Faye said I have an Old Same. It's Nancy. I was very surprised to hear her say that and so deeply touched. From then on she signed all email/notes as OS and I did to her also. I will miss my OS.
She had such a sense of standing up for what was right and she would walk out of something she deemed inappropriate. We both had season tickets at the Capitol Theater but in an effort to attract a younger crowd they started featuring things that were of a "more mature nature". She walked out of one play that she found offensive. Neither of us renewed our tickets and they actually called and asked why and she let them know that she would not support their selections by buying tickets. We both enjoyed theatre and supporting especially the Zillah High School Drama. I will miss picking her up to go to the play.
She spoke in a refined manner and was the only person I've ever known that used the word glorious in her everyday speech. I might say something was magical or stupendous. Her descriptive word was glorious. She was so musically talented and could hear every single note, both those on and off key! She was a champion of youth singing or playing or dancing or acting. She was an artist that believed in the arts. She also painted and was planning on getting back into it again after treatment was over and her health regained.
Will our Ward ever get used to her not being at the organ??? Years ago she wrestled with what type of music she would accompany singers, if it was in the Chapel. She decided if it was modern and not what she deemed sacred that she would not do it. She really stewed over it and finally decided she needed to take a stand. She held no judgement against what others chose but she took a stand for what worked for her. People understood her choice and respected her for it. She loved music playing in her home.
She believed in being on time to meetings, going to all meetings if physically possible, and studying the scriptures. She startled me in a SS class one day when a teacher taught a bit of false doctrine. She raised her hand and politely said...reference please. I still laugh over that and told her I would borrow it for my own use!! The teacher was not ready with the reference but I bet he was on other lessons he taught if she was there.
She took seriously any Church calling she had. When they got called to work in the Temple she just crossed out any Friday events as they worked early Saturday mornings. I can think of just a couple of things they went to. she wanted to be rested and ready to serve. That was sad when she couldn't do it anymore.
She was rather regal and believed that people should strive for being refined. She was a good example of that trait.
We would go to the place for lunch in Toppenish and eat beans and rice and pico de gallo. We would discuss our children and our grandchildren...how they were doing. what are hopes were for them. what concerns we had. and then just like- what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas- we'd hold those confidences in trust. We both knew that time changes a lot of things,most things, for the better. Even people we love!
She clipped coupons for restaurants and taped them on her cupboard by her stove with the date written as to when to use them. She enjoyed finding new places to eat whether locally or when they traveled.
She loved to take trips...small or large. Her favorites were with her family at their reunions during Thanksgiving and summer get-togethers. She had fun when they rented a house big enough for all to stay in.
It's the sharing of life, the getting to really know each other that makes for friends. The sharing heartache and joy. I have an assortment of treasured friends that I love, women that have won my heart with trust. Today?...I just lost a most glorious friend.
Friendship
Oh, the comfort--the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person,
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words--but pouring them
All right out--just as they are--
Chaff and grain together--
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them--
Keep what is worth keeping--
And with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.
by Dinah Maria Mulock Craig
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