I was so wishing that email selections also included categories like....retract or take-back words or changed my mind mid-sending. Once that little send button is clicked then it's out of my hands and also out of my mouth, in black and white print. Zooming through a miraculous invisible space and lighting up someone's email with a cheery note that, my thoughts put to words, have arrived in your in-box.
Today I thought I sent a box of word chocolates. Yummies to comfort and help out in trying stressful times. Some words that I hoped would soothe or wait!, is solve a better word? uh-oh!! backfire. landmine. Ouch!!
So I went against my own little creed rule...advice given when unasked for is almost always offensive. that will now be amended in permanent ink to...unasked for advice or my personal opinion is ALWAYS offensive! (no exceptions!)
I was aware of a situation between two individuals that I care about. Two that are friends to me. I didn't want anyone to suffer anymore. I felt for both parties. I wanted to make it all better. I was feeling that it was escalating. I was fearful it was going to spiral out of control. I didn't want the aftermath to bring anyone crashing fatally.
So I, being an acknowledged co-dependent woman, wanting to help everyone to feel good and happy, decided to just say one little thing. Just one little paragraph for consideration. Maybe it would help. It was a risk but I decided it was worth it. Including this one little summary sentence.
"Surely, there is some sort of solution. If you are at a stalemate, perhaps you need a Solomon?"
Fireworks! well, fireworks from just one of the two.
My husband asked me if I hadn't had some sort of warning system gently tugging or loudly screaming siren-like, to remind me to not do it. The Monopoly sign did not flash before my eyes...do not pass go/go directly to Jail.
When my victim clearly outlined the line of privacy that I'd crossed and how she felt about my chiming in like a dingaling. or was "stupid-head" her descriptive word? yes. that was the word. I'd violated her confidence, betrayal was linked with my name, from her viewpoint. I felt sick reading her words.
I felt so bad that I'd wounded her. I'd intended no harm. I was trying to help the situation. I apologized. I tried to explain my viewpoint and felt like my tongue was twisted with Novocain and words were not coming forth. Is it idiots that are described as blithering? was I blithering?
Eventually she forgave me. I was thankful. Thankful for repentance and thankful that she forgave. so did the Lord.
The strange thing is that I still believe what I said was true but really, it wasn't my business to try to fly in and scatter words on a battleground of any sort. I erred in sharing, when really it wasn't welcome, and my two hoots didn't amount to a hill of beans in their personal dilemma. two hoots or two cents worth of counsel, aren't worth a plug nickel, when given without invitation.
I have learned to not mope and beat myself up for making a mistake and actually upsetting and hurting someones feelings and making them mad...at me. Live and re-learn! Just dusting myself off and getting back up. Mortality is not for the faint of heart.
What!!! ??? how? When did this slip in?? this is Bible scripture???....
Whoso keepeth his mouth
and his tongue
keepeth his soul from troubles.
Prov. 21:23
No comments:
Post a Comment