Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Friends

 A longtime friend invited us over for dinner.  She also invited a fairly new-into-marriage couple.  It was a nice mix of good company, conversation and food.  My friend has some health issues right now and I was impressed that she even had the desire to make all that effort.  It was peaceful, pleasant, fun and enjoyable.  Just enough of us to fill the chairs at the dining room table.   

Granted, sometimes it's a sticky wicket in Church friendships, as we all go to Church together on a regular basis, at least once but more than likely twice a week.   Yet we don't all do everything together outside of Church.  We may, as small groups, go to plays, concerts, high school sports events, book clubs and the likes but we don't have enough time, same interests or large enough homes to visit and have dinner on a regular scheduled basis.   Sometimes we feel left out.   Sometimes we feel isolated and ostracized and friendless.   

What is the answer?  How do we meet the needs of those who feel friendless?  My heart was tender when I felt the pain, of a friend,  in her email note expressing her longing and need of a real friend.  Here I was happy and secure in my 22 year friendship and enjoying myself immensely at our dinner and away in her own home, a woman, a sister in the Gospel,  was wanting that same experience for herself.  

Don't you think it's a dilemma sometimes?   We need to tend friends in order to build friendships.  It takes time to build friendship relationships.  I have friends of all ages and I'm not involved with them in house parties, we seldom share dinners but I hear from them a lot via phone, email, visiting at their house, going for lunch etc.   We share life.  When I hear that others have gone some place or done something or shared an experience, I'm happy for them.  I want to know about it and share the enjoyment but I'm not offended I wasn't invited.   My friends and I juggle schedules, just to work in a lunch date.  With one friend we are going to try a brunch date!  

Because of my age, I've got friends that go back many years and they are precious to me.  My Alaskan friend Joyce, has been in my life for probably 40+ years.  We can pick up a conversation as soon as we hear each others voice.  My friends mean the world to me.  I can't imagine my life without these women in it!


I view this other woman as a friend and I'm rambling because I know I'm not meeting this woman's need of a close friend and I'm uncertain how to be what she needs.  Maybe a special friend has not entered her life yet?


I wish for her the caliber of friends that I have.


Friendship

Oh, the comfort-the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person,
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words-but pouring them
All right out- Just as they are-
Chaff and grain together-
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them-
Keep what is worth keeping-
And with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.
                                                                            --Dinah Maria Mulock Craik







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