I remembered asking for his car keys and they were removed from his pocket and handed to me. His wife would need to be in her own car for comfort. I looked at his brown shoes, his brown socks and his suit pants and the fleeting thought of how dapper he always looked, how tall he was for an older person, and that surely he was one of the kindest men I'd ever met, engulfed my mind.
I drove his sweet wife to the hospital and heard her longing that he not have a stroke although she felt that is what had happened. Arrived and got a wheel chair for her and took her into a private room and stood behind her as the Dr. gave her the news that no one wants to hear and no one is ever prepared to hear, even if they have tried to prepare themselves, that your spouse is not going to live for more than a couple of hours. Took her into see him and for her to talk to him. To express her love and request that he wait to leave until at least one of their adult children arrives.
There were no children living here or I would not have been with her. I was thankful to be with her until the first children arrived. Then I came home.
An assortment of Ward friends, from years and years back arrived to bid him farewell. Most had experienced a very long association. Mine was much shorter. When we'd arrived from Alaska they were on one of their missions to Chile. The Ward was to be divided but interestingly enough the Stake President didn't want to do that until Br. A. was home from his Mission. I thought that was curious. So did the Alaskan friend that was to become the first Bishop in our new Ward. He wrote in the Ward History ....
"He (the Stake President) also shared that he had been prompted not to split the wards until the A.'s returned. I thought that at the time odd, but as I came to know the A.'s I understood why. Their example and humble dedicated service uplifted our entire ward and blessed all of our lives."
The impact we make in each others lives is incredible when we have the opportunity to be in one Ward long enough to forge friendships. A part of our love, friendship and service, when we lose someone in our Ward, is to help with their funeral service. As RS women we prepare meals and fix things, as lovely as possible, for the grieving family and friends.
I worked with two amazing counselors, Chelle and Cheryl, on more funerals than you can imagine. I know it sounds strange but we enjoyed rendering the compassionate service associated at funerals. Chelle recalls...
Nancy, what I remember most is when we were first asked to take care of a funeral meal, we were overwhelmed and had no idea where to begin. It seemed like too much to accomplish in such a short time. And then you put out a request for help, and the response was immediate and stunning. It was as though the women were waiting for an opportunity to help, and when the opportunity arose, they jumped at the chance.
As I write, it occurs to me that when I am overwhelmed and have no idea where to begin, I can ask for help from Heavenly Father. The result may not be immediate, but it will be stunning. He waits to answer prayers, if I will but ask.
The other thing I remember is how the families and friends attending the funeral meal were so appreciative, and sometimes surprised at how happy we were to provide and serve the meal. Thanks upon thanks, compliments and smiles, friendly faces poking in the kitchen door to express gratitude for the service rendered.
I loved serving together with you two!
xo
Chelle
Our Ward RS sisters are amazing in their generosity of cooking and sharing food. In Dec. 2007 our Bishop's father passed away as did 2 others. We had a funeral on a Saturday and then the Bishop's father's funeral on a Tuesday and then another one scheduled for Wednesday. Both of these funerals were very large. Concern about that Wednesday funeral surfaced in my Counselors and my mind. The sisters had given not just food but so much work and we were hoping they were holding up for one more funeral. Then Bishop S. came up and told us....Whatever food is left over, please, just keep it and use it for tomorrows funeral... We welcomed the food but we had served so much that we knew there wasn't hardly anything left. We had bought a big cake from Costco and volunteers were ready to cook another meal for the next day.
I'll let Cheryl tell what happened....
Nancy-
I think that day will be forever in my memory. A lot of the details surrounding it are vague, but the actual day is crystal clear. We had 3 funerals in such a short amount of time and we were worried that people were getting burnt out with bringing food. The funeral that was happening that day was a large one and people ate and visited and then came back and ate some more. We kept bringing out more and more food to the serving table.
As the day was winding down and clean up was about to start, we thought we should see what leftovers we had that may be able to be used in the next day’s funeral. We pulled the cover off the ham and it was mounded up like we had served nothing out of that pan. I remember our eyes getting big and just looking at each other.
Then we pulled open the fridge and it was full of salads that had not been touched, and a few that even though we had served out of them had a lot left. It was the most amazing thing to realize that when we were worried about how much the sisters had been giving- both time and food, the Lord knew and He took care of it. The email went out letting everyone know that they did not have to bring anything to the funeral for tomorrow.
We really did have some great times and who would have known a lot of them happened over funeral planning?
The more I look back on it, the more I know that we have a Heavenly Father who not only knows us, but watches out for us and helps us after we have done everything we can. I will always remember the look on your face when we pulled off the cover on the ham. Total disbelief and some awe.
We really did have some great times and who would have known a lot of them happened over funeral planning?
Cheryl
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