Stuff

Sometimes my mind, my thoughts, feels like a logjam!  I think one thing and feel a surge to share that thought and then I don't and then it all piles up and I'm like a dam waiting to burst!!  And then it all breaks lose and washes away.  Unsaid.  Unspoken.

Ever trying.  I'm always trying!!  If carefully planned thought lists of accomplishments were indeed, the deed done, then I'd be amazing in what gets done.  Alas.  I'm a very mortal mortal!!

Always trying to play catch-up in most phases of my life.  In spite of all that I feel okay.

Well, most of the time!

Anyhow....

1- I'm so eager and excited for General Conference and am excited about Saturday and enjoy how General Woman's Conference is truly recognized as a part of next weekends General Conference.

2- I'm trying to get things sorted and organized and have made a lot of headway.  Living in a small place I have lots of crooks and crannies filled to overstuffed.  Still faced with hanging onto everything- just in case it might come in handy for a lesson!

Stuff- I have a friend that is 82 or so and she is moving from a large 2-story basemented home with land and garage and outbuildings and it houses years of things from raising her family there.  She has things that she loves, and enjoys being surrounded by, but aren't really being used.  She takes comfort and it creates a sort of sense of security with her old familiar things around her.  It has been overwhelming and very hard for her and on her to see these things leave her life. Almost a grieving.  Gentle in a way but I'd still term it a harshness.  A grieving but not of a person dying.  Almost like a part of her has left and she didn't want that to happen.

My Mother had things neatly organized in her home that were never used but there was some sort of sense of enjoyment in having them.  While visiting one time, I was putting up sheets and moved things in her linen closet to my liking.  A few days later she asked me where her pillowcases where and why they were moved.  The cases in question were old ones that her Mother had embroidered and she never used them.  She had them to the front.  I had moved them to the back.  I retrieved and handed them to her and she put them-- Here. Where they belong. Front and center.

As I've aged I see that there are folks, at least some of us, that enjoy the presence of our old stuff.  I saw that in my Mother and also my sister.  Dixie was totally aware that she was dying but she was sharp minded right up to her last breath.  I remember her questioning where a kitchen magnet was.  It was gone from her fridge.  She'd had it 20 years.  Who took it???  She wanted it back.  Now.  (I was glad I wasn't the culprit!)

I see that in Terry.  He sold a lot of his tools at retirement but kept a lot.  He will never use those tools again.  Never.  He knows that but he will look at those tools and will wonder where a certain tool is if he doesn't see it right off.  He has his beat-up tool box and his favorite seat on wheels and he enjoys those tools in just knowing they are there!  Our son-in-law got a kick out of Terry when he was here.  The smoke alarm needed changing.  The cover was missing!  He also needed a screwdriver.  In the seat of Terry's walker was the cover and also he has tools in there!  We all three had a laugh.  Ever the mechanic!

My friend Joan has so many cookbooks that she doesn't know the number.  Does she use them and cook endless meals?  No.  But she enjoys reading them and just seeing them and just knowing they are there.

I have fabric that has been culled and yet continues to stay stacked and ready to be used and sewn but instead is just enjoyed in it's neatness.  I have books and books.  Yes, I've culled them also but I have oodles and boodles of books.  I admit...I love my books.  I love the feel of holding a book and marking a book and I've read most of my books but I always have some that are brand new and awaiting me to open and enjoy them.

One of the blessings of my life is being able to live independently in this little house and keep as many familiar, comforting, memory-inviting things, as room allows or as I can tolerate stacked/piled! Stockpiled!

I'm trying to get things in enough order that I can manage to continue caring for the two of us... and life, as we know and enjoy, can keep on for many years to come.

Aren't you glad for your life?  Your own personal life with whatever challenges you face.  Aren't you thankful for the Gospel and it's truths?  The upcoming General Conference sessions that we can enjoy right in our own homes!!  What a miracle that is!  Aren't you glad you are you?  Warts and all?  I am.
Glad for you and glad for me and glad you are in my life.

3- Really.  I'm done visiting for today!  Enjoy today.  I will to!