Most of the time we are governed by deadline responsibilities like our jobs/careers and children's needs whether pre-school or in school and then their chosen activities with practices/games/performances. Calendars are full, clocks are watched. We have a sameness of day, at least in the awaking time except when you retire from all those deadlines! Well, at least if you are like us!! No set routine in that area. You just sort of automatically wake up and you just sort of automatically go to bed- all pretty much as before. Then you get a little more relaxed. And then even more!!
Our wake up time has stretched into later as has our beddy-bye time. We have ended up just sort of out of control. Party animals??!!!
A few years ago at McCall I discovered that it was possible for me to stay up the entire night?! I was stunned when I did this. It was very innocent. I was visiting with someone in our family, don't remember who, and the time just sort of got away. Next thing you know it was closer to get-up than lie-down so I stayed-up! Then all that day I remained upright! Interesting!
In the past several months I found out that if I stay up past 11:15 then I get a second wind and again can stay up if I don't get to bed ASAP! Not that I I do that but I easily could just shift to nocturnal internal system. When Safeway used to stay open 24?7 (maybe they still do?) a gal at the Dental office, where I worked!, did her shopping at 5am! It's a whole new life out there! Actually this bit of trivia has nothing to do with Terry implementing a new challenge/change in our lives.
He, on his own, decided that we need to get up the same time every day after going to bed the same time the night before. This is an amazing thing that he would set this in motion. I find it interesting and rather exciting. He feels we are wasting time and not getting enough done, of what needs to be done. and it's scriptural (that's my take).
This sort of teamwork, agreeing on what the two of us will do together, is about the only way it can work. Teamwork in marriages is not always easy. When my friend Joyce and I went into business, as partners (which it was predicted, and we were counseled- don't do it as partners. it will be the end of your long friendship). We discussed a lot of things. We knew what we wanted to do. We knew our strengths. We set up the division of everything.
And then we did the biggie verbal clause- that saved us more than one time...we decided that if one of us wanted to do something about our business and the other didn't want to do it...all the opposing partner had to say was--I don't want to do that. End of discussion. No more discussion. No explanation needed. Over. Kaput. We decided that we'd operate on the premise of what is right for our business and not who is right. It worked for us. (It was a candy shop. Of course!!)
One day, with never having had a single cross word, we talked about-- wouldn't it be great if that concept could be integrated into a marriage??!! I do think a kinder more gentle response is....That won't work for me... if it's marriage talk on the line and then start negotiation and compromise and optional clauses or some sort of thing that works for you!! and him!! (remember...I have absolutely no training except on the job for umpteen dozen years. did you already forget my anniversary???)
So when Terry said that he felt we should do this, getting to bed earlier and up earlier, and a short to-do list, including our regular bed-head appearance while conference watching a talk a day, and then he threw in personal scripture study right afterwards...well, he was on a roll! Know what I loved? He wanted to do what was right. He felt we were delaying things and would have a better day etc. etc. Remember, it's just the two of us. We do go to bed and we do get up and we do watch a talk and we do study and etc. etc. No regular deadlines. So he set us some!!
True. I could have said things like...I don't want to study then or why that early or blah, blah, blah but instead I thought--this is great! Anytime in your marriage that you find something that you can both agree on the details and act together, you have just strengthened your marriage. For that event, even if it's singular, you are united and strong, and it will be a pleasant thing.
A lot of times as women, we are born to micro manage, because how else can you manage a career (be it professional or stay-at-home/kiddo's or kid-less.)? we are great in endeavoring to manage everything and everyone. or maybe it's just the co-dependents like me, that do that deed. Sometimes we do get a bit, or a lot bossy, just to keep things on par but there comes a time that men, wonderful men, feel to do things for the good of the family. We are a little duo and I'm glad he cares about this aspect of our life!
A shout out to men who take the reins and move the team forward equally yoked, instead of spinning in circles. An even bigger cheer for women that applaud their effort and give them a chance to CTR.
This post sort of got spinning out of control. I just wanted to say that he's trying to have us be less lazybones and instead reap the benefit from....
...cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated. Doctrine & Covenants 88:124
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