A couple of email remarks about the modesty issue that were emailed to me were interesting.
When I was in the YW Pres. in another Ward the President was adamant about the
meetings being in her home with no one else around, or in a 4 walled room with
only a door. It was for this exact reason.
She also mentioned that you can hear through the accordion doors.
Another now married woman shared...
It is so wrong for adults who should be an example to the youth to be judgmental
and speak badly of any youth. We need to be helping the youth by loving them
and teaching them and nothing else. I clearly remember the pain and confusion
this caused me when I was young to hear my leaders speak negatively about any of
us girls. My mom was a saint and never said a word unkind about any person in
our ward and I am so thankful for the peace this gave me.
This is something that has been of concern and taught for years. Never having been raised in the Church but being raised at a time when modesty was rather naturally lived by all then it wasn't a problem. I never heard the word modestly. Things were referred as....it doesn't fit. There was one standard of fitness and we all knew it and not one wanted to wear anything that didn't fit right. If my Mother checked to see if a dress or blouse fit she would first put her hands flat on my arm at my shoulder and see where the seam fell. If that sleeve line was right even with my shoulder then it fit just fine. If that sleeve line hung over and down the arm a bit then it was to big. If that line went inward, over the shoulder line and toward my neck then it was deemed to small and was banished. If I reached up and the blouse went above my waist line then it was to small, you might see skin, and it was passed down to my sister. If there was a gap in the buttons across the bust-line then it was to small and not to be worn. Everything had a waist line and it was at the waist on slacks. If the waist was snug then they didn't fit. same with undies. hit the waist and not to tight or out it went. Nothing was to bind and nothing was to cup under your backside or be snug. We wore shorts for sports. loose fitting. mid thigh. (We did run around our yard and house in our 1 piece swimsuits when they were new and posed like the movie stars we thought we were.) We wanted to look the nicest we could and we would not wear tight clothing that revealed figure flaws. People wore sweats for sports. There were not elastic bands. we had zippers and buttons on practically everything. So it was all about proper fit. If you grew and your dress went to far above the knee then your mother might, as mine would, cut the bottom 5" off and sew a contrasting border and then sew that cut dress bottom back on.
When I joined the Church there was no talk on modesty or dress. We all knew what Church dress or Party dress or Sunday best meant. We wouldn't scrub a floor in the dress or go grocery shopping in that attire. it was extra special. We always wore hosiery and heels.
I remember wearing a new dress to church. I loved it. it was a lined, large check pink/white gingham, with long sleeves, high waist, v-neck, flat small bow at bust line seam with streamers. trimmed with white eyelet at the neck line and sleeve edge. very simple. fresh stylish dress. I asked a sister that I VT with...Could you wear a dress like this if you'd been through the Temple? Is the neckline to deep? She looked at me startled and said...you've not been through the Temple? I told her I hadn't but I didn't want to dress wrong. (side note. The Br. Pres. made arrangements for us to to to Temple)
I share this because I'd noticed how others dressed and actually I dressed the same way before I joined the Church but this did have little v-neck and I just wanted to make sure.
Can't we all go places, to any event and know at once if we are out of place...overdressed. under-dressed. totally inappropriate for the goings on. Isn't it that way at Church? The majority in similar fashion. When I walk in I see a sea of white shirts and ties and slacks and suit coats. dresses and skirts and blouses. well shod. hair washed. make-up on. some jewelery. clean. fresh. no one has to diagram what is appropriate at this event. unlike a restaurant that says...no shoes. no shirt. no service. I see no signs hanging around outlining dress code.
Do we sometimes become like the people at the time of Moses that made so many laws to protect the heart of the law that they could never get past all of those roadblocks to enjoy and fully live it? I am not saying that about the Church dress code. I'm saying that about our interpretation and enforcement of said code.
With our youth...how many times do they hear this dress code. Do they tune it out? Is it like adults with the Genealogy invitation that they don't do or struggling to listen to a talk when the room is hot and stuffy? Don't they hear it from their parents, from their leaders, from talks, from lessons, from Personal Progress booklets, from Bishop, from Gen. YW Conf., from the new Era, from Standard nights and how many other ways?
Is it possible the parents aren't converted to this? they buy the clothes. they see them to the door on the way out of the house. they see them on Facebook.
I remember a Mother of a large family telling me that she started dating in the 7th grade, at 13, and it didn't hurt her and she was going to let her daughters do it also. 2 or 3 of her girls wound up pregnant before marriage as did a son. Maybe some feel it's not necessary or essential? Maybe their conversion of this being a part of our religion has not hit home.
We all make choices. I simply love all aspects of theatre. I think to step out on a stage is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It feels so cozy to me. so safe. so inviting. so fun. so liberating. But I don't do it. It's the Sunday aspect. I did a play once, with my two youngest sons, and we had so much fun but at that time I was a Seminary teacher and it seemed so wrong to do that on Sunday and teach on Monday. I even felt bad I took my boys. Even if we wore our Church clothes it felt awkward to me.
Then the director called me and asked me to be in a 3 woman play. I read the script. funny but not so good in places with language and topic. vulgar but oh, so funny. I told him that I couldn't do it. He was very nice and really wanted me in his play. I realized I just couldn't do it.
So I nipped it in the bud. I retired before I started!! And yet I will go to a play that has a run that includes a Sunday, go on one of the other days, and it is of no concern to me that other folks, maybe even some members are on stage on Sunday or attend on Sunday. Someone though will be bothered by my choice.
Maybe the parents are choosing their battles with a battery to choose from. How are any of us to know? There are those who think that is the wrong way also.
If we spent as much time helping our youth to gain a testimony, have a spiritual experience and learn to enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost by teaching about the Savior, don't you think they'd want to dress modestly as they grew spiritually? If we can awaken compassion and gratitude in young hearts wouldn't there be less need for lecture/chastisement/faulting etc. etc. If they could fall in love with the joy of being religious then maybe they would freely choose and desire to be more modest?
We have to love each other unconditionally. it doesn't just happen because we say the word. We have to figure out how to do that.
Obviously I could go on and on. I probably should edit this or cut it in half. But I'll just send it as is. Blogs are great because I can just delete at some point if I so choose! and you as a dear reader can scan or absorb as much as you like. So all is well! Maybe I've said my say!!
I really care about Church being a wonderful, loving, embracing bit of comfort and solace for all of these YW.
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