Back on track...

That should probably read Somewhat back on track!  

I'm still enjoying the memory of Jeanee and Scott coming for a visit!  All the way from Florida...a 48 hour drive with no hotels or restaurants!  Quarantined amply and even had the dreaded Covid nostril test to just make sure they were safe to come visit us!  It was not a relaxed vacation for them...it was a work mission!!  I know I shared before...they worked non-stop every day with checking things and repairing things and getting us set for the next while...at least a few months!  It was such a welcome relief! 

Terry is was a fixer-upper hubby.  We both miss the fact that he can no longer do those sorts of things. True...a diesel mechanic doesn't always do the finishing work of a master carpenter but it did get fixed and for sure, it wasn't going anywhere once he fixed it in place.  Over-sized nails and glue and duct tape or whatever he ingeniously thought of...it was pretty well going to be in place forever.  Scott is a fixer-upper SIL!  He serves with joy and derives happiness from helping.  He and Jeanee were a marvelous team and it was beautiful to see them work together with not one bit of friction!  Ever!

Last time I wrote of my happiness on Scott fixing the dryer (with great effort).  Sad to say...it was short-lived!  The dryer died again.  It is gone from here along with the washer!  Bliss...at least to me...is a working washer and dryer!  They are now replaced!!  I cannot even express how happy those appliances make me.  That is a magical sound to hear the agitation and the steadiness of the dryer.  They are a bit more powerful than my old faithfuls! I am so appreciative to have this convenience of doing laundry whenever I want including drying!!  SO much!!

*********************

School has ended here.  For the graduating Seniors a special drive through the town was organized and citizens could wave and cheer as they drove by.  Our street was right on the route at the beginning.  I asked a friend if she wanted to come over and we would wave together. 

One evening I heard cars honking, looked out, and saw across the street the black street light was wrapped in orange crepe paper and a couple of cars with balloons were honking.  I rushed to throw on my black and orange sweaters and tore out the door the next time the cars honked and waved .  I wondered why the cars were unevenly spaced but still wished them well by waving and hollering...Good Job!!  Yay for you!!  I had the wrong day!!  My friend was going to miss it!!

The people across the street were waving at me and I waved back and gave them a thumbs up.  Just sharing the joy.  I noticed they seemed to be giving out candy like Halloween and there were a lot of Thank You's!!  I told Terry that seemed nice but they were sure getting close to people.

I have no idea how many times I charged out the door at the sound of honking...hollering and waving in return to the unknown neighbors but one time a truck that had stopped to say congrats pulled down and turned around so that she was facing me and she yelled...it's my grandsons 10th birthday!!

I said...oh, how nice!  I slunk into the house!  I looked over and saw gift bags sitting on the sidewalk!  The friendly wave was actually a go into your house wave.

I did find a little gift for the boy...went out one last time...did my best beckon wave...and placed in on the sidewalk. 

The car caravan ended and they all disappeared down the alley behind the corner house.  I still have absolutely no idea who they are!

Yesterday the taunt of cars honking started in and sure enough another birthday.  They did things up big time as they hired a beautifully decorated truck dispensing icy drinks  and it was tootling also. 

I was haunted again by that day of humiliation.  In my younger life I had many many I Love Lucy moments.  This incident is now in my older years and is currently at the top of my LucyList!!

And now you know my truth!!

My own "Straw"

The Proverbial straw that broke that camel's back, in my own life, could be traced back to when my dryer stopped working!  This really proved to be my undoing.  An unraveling of sorts.  Being in quarantine I didn't want someone coming into the house to check it out.  I ordered 2 drying racks that turned out to be quite small but adequate when combined with my short length clothes line.  Then a friend lent me her large rack.

Friends were willing to take my wet laundry but I opted to do it myself.

Somehow or other, with Terry not doing real swift and seeing all sorts of odd jobs... if left undone could cause problems down the line?...started to weigh heavy on me.  One day I felt sick.  Exhausted.  Overwhelmed.  Frustrated.

Our daughter, who constantly checks on us from her Florida home, had planned to come out and then Covid struck the country and all our plans, along with the entire world, it seems, were put on hold.  She and her hubby had quarantined and got the Covid test and she said...Mother, we are driving to Washington and will stay in our van and drive straight through and bypass motels and restaurants.

I said...No.  No.  You mustn't do that.  Stay home.  it's to much etc. etc.

She said...Let me talk to Daddy.

I hear her as she started telling him that she was worried about me.  I sounded sick etc. etc.

Suddenly the thought washed over me...I need help.  

I took the phone and told her...Do come.  I need you.   

Best decision I ever made!  To realize...I need help.

They came and stayed for 10 days.  Our SIL is a fixer-upper fellow and he does everything with a heart that is so happy to help.  I'd made a list as requested and it was extremely long.  I figured there were just a few things that I longed to have fixed/checked and the rest would be ticked off eventually.  They did the entire list and then added things they wanted to do to even make it longer!  Ending with power-washing the house!

#1 was my dryer!!  Ah, bliss as I hear it's steady sound!

#2 was putting together a corner desk with a hutch for Terry's computer.  It was his Christmas gift!  It took a lot of work as some holes weren't drilled.

#3 was fixing a gate post which ended up very involved with 3 posts having to be dug up

#4 was cutting down my sweet lilac tree... so overgrown it was partially blocking light at a window.

It was an amazing 10 days, filled with so many changes/repairs...all sorts of nips and tucks happened and they just lifted my spirit to wonderment...amazement...deep gratitude.  I have recognized/been the recipient of so many blessings during this Covid experience.  Friends have been so marvelous... and then to have family come and work so hard, with such love, is just the best!

That patch of rough water in my personal life, traced back to my dryer giving up, has calmed down and I'm so thankful.  One thing that has not been rough and has remained placid and very calm is my testimony and faith in Jesus Christ...the Restoration and that is joyous!

Soul Stirring Truth

This is worth the 6 minutes it takes to watch!!  HERE

81!!!

What a wake-up call!  Awaking and realizing...today I am officially 81 years old!  How amazing is that?  I am fascinated by the world around me and the happenings in it at large and then extremely interested in my own small personal world.  I am thankful at this age to still be curious about a lot of things...a desire to learn (in a limited way of what is of interest to me)...observing as a spectator the world happenings and how people conduct themselves and to watch the world evolve forward and seemingly, at the same time, spiral somewhat out of control.  This is the exact era of Covid-19 and we are at this moment, quarantined in our home!  This is also the age of hi-tech and I am super duper low-tech.  If something can bring me to the depths of frustration, to the point of tearfulness, it is my battle with trying to master just the basics!  I know what I want this inanimate object to do but I am clueless as to how to make it happen and it is a battle!  At the same time I am just over the moon with gratitude for knowing the super basics and can be in touch with people and the Church happenings.

My Daddy died 37 years ago at the age of 68.  37 years ago I was 44 and thought he'd lived a long life!  My Mother died 21 years ago at the age of 82.  21 years ago I was 60.  I thought my Mother was very old.  Now, here I am, one year younger than when my Mother died, and I don't feel old.  Visibly I can see that my body is naturally aging but within?...I think spiritual maturing is taking place.  And that is a good thing.  (a side note.  If I had another go at life...I'd never tell anyone my age.  At a certain age it seems that people start to categorize you and place you towards pasture land!  you start to become invisible-- that is the feeling)

Anyhow...I decided to gift myself this birthday with a re-vamp on my life. 

#1  For years I've said that I intended to live to be 105 years old or until the 2nd coming.  I've now decided to just live until I die.

#2  I am enough.

#3  Personal Revelation.  President Nelson said we need that.  Elder Bednar shared several ways that he hears Him.  I am familiar with those ways.  At the recent BYU Women's Conference, Kate Holbrook (a woman that is a favorite of mine) talked in a part of her speech about personal revelation.  I was riveted as she described exactly how her way of receiving personal revelation is also my way!  Most exciting to me though- she expressed gratitude for knowing and recognizing that she knew this.  It made me realize that I can be thankful, that I know what I know that works for myself and I can inwardly know and use that ability.  Most likely we are probably all in the same boat with varying degrees of intensity?  I think so. It was so refreshing to hear her acknowledge her gratitude and be so matter of fact about how she receives personal revelation.  I am so thankful also. 

#4  At this advanced age I have found out that I am over-zealous.  To have a weakness revealed at this age is somewhat daunting but with the depth of it, perhaps I will live many more years, as I strive to keep my zeal and my zest for living but to not throw things out of kilter and get all catty-whampus  and flail around like a washer with an uneven load of clothes on the spin cycle.  Yes...seems I may need another lifetime to pick up the lose ends of all unfinished projects be they writing or quilting or organizing pictures/letters or physical fitness or whatever.  Yes...an overhaul is needed but not an overzealous one which seems to be my nature.  I'm not trying to be flippant as it was a rather painful revelatory process but also amazing at the same time.  It was an Ether 12:27 experience.  I  will hold to the promised help in that verse! 

So...that is just the bare-bones of what I want to focus on the next year.  As things unfold in my journey, I will share right here. 

I want to thank each of you for being a reader!  You are patient with me and I appreciate that so much!

(Natalie!- I was glad to hear from you.  Sorry for you needing more surgery.)

Focusing...

The weather is just so beautiful!  Spring greens of all shades and spots of brightness sprinkled around.  Every day I'm so thankful that we are not dealing with some natural disaster beyond the Covid-19!

Today I was thinking about reaching boiling points...both in cooking and emotional stewing and spewing.  I remembered how happy my Mother was when she got a pressure cooker.  Her friend Berna was with us for a few weeks and she and Mother decided to cook split pea soup.  I remember the mess as the gasket blew out and there was a geyser of green spew that hit the ceiling and was dripping all over.  It was a gas range and they couldn't get close to it because of the boiling hot soup just shooting everywhere.

It was so vivid in my mind today that I decided to check and see if it was just an exaggerated girlhood memory or a vivid memory of nightmare proportions.  

I found this.  My memory held the truth!  

Split beans and peas are tricky to pressure cook and you should not be attempting this if you're new to pressure cooking. That's because you first need to learn how to regulate heat so that it's not too high at the beginning (which will shoot the beans through the vent, muck it up, and cause a dangerous situation) and during pressure cooking. Any over-pressure situation will be dangerous.

Mother and Berna were horrified and terrified.  Dixie and I were shocked into silence.  Then my Mother got so mad because she and my Daddy had just put a new ceiling tile in the kitchen and it was not painted and waterproofed yet.  I'll let you imagine how she felt.

To her credit, she re-read the book, and did continue to use and enjoy her pressure cooker.

Sometimes in life we let off that type of steam.  Pressure builds up.  Not monitored or attended to and there is an explosion.  

There are pans that overheat and overflow and cause a mess.  Sometimes stuff is burnt.  It's a nasty business sometime. Like life! 

I have learned that I'm more the cup is full type of person.  I experienced that scenario recently.  I am used to my life and the stress and pressures that are a part of my normal.  My cup is filled to the brim all the time and yet I can handle it pretty good and juggle all the plates.  Well, I try.  Because I'm up to my eyeballs with stuff, my stuff, it is familiar and I'm okay BUT a couple of extra things happened and I felt the cup overfilled and ran over the top.  I felt out of my normal. I didn't know how to deal with these extra things.  It was to much for me.  It put me over the top.  I deal with Terry having extreme pain, off and on, and hearing his suffering but what brought me down was...a toilet seat that fell apart.  Very early a.m., I looked in Terry's bathroom and there it was!... on the floor! in 4 pieces- lid/seat/2 screw things.  I tried to put it together and I couldn't!  

This impacted me because earlier my dryer stopped working!  That's a game changer, isn't it???

Also Terry's pain was so dreadful that we were at a loss.

So here we are in the midst of this isolation and we can't call and ask for help.  We don't want anyone in here plus people aren't necessarily eager to come in either!

So my cup was flowing over and I felt like my hands were tied.  I added my own waterworks to the mess and tearfully told Terry that I can't get the toilet seat fixed.  We ended up putting a small chair in the bathroom for him to sit on and he got it put together!  (some things never change!  he asked me for a butter knife!  I said - don't you have a screwdriver in your toolbox?  He said- oh, yes.  I do.  He then opened up the seat of his walker, which has an assortment of tools in his toolbox, and found his screwdriver.)

Terry figured out what the dryer will need and we will get that fixed after detention is over.  I have a short single clothesline that wouldn't really hold a load of clothes.  I ordered two clothes drying racks, similar to what my Mother used during Alaskan winters, and they work great.

When that pain bout was so out of control, and I won't go into the details, but it was dreadful, I ended up calling our son and he gave his Dad a blessing over the phone.  (our ministering friend would have suited up and come but we didn't feel comfy with that)  Eventually the pain subsided and he could get up off the floor.

Anyhow...not trying to be all whiny and complainy.  Just saying- there was a patch of really rough water splashing on everything but we got through it.  We felt blessed.

Today in an effort to stay calm, and keep that peace that I love,  I decided to set one thing in order.  I knew that would feel good.  It did!  Sounds strange to think that organizing a freezer with containers and labels would feel good but it sure did!  I enjoyed it!  I walked past lots of other jobs that need attention and settled on the freezer shelves.

In studying this week...this was just so perfect for me!

********************************

President Russell M. Nelson has taught that “Saints can be happy under every circumstance. We can feel joy even while having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year!” This is because “the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

President Russell M. Nelson, “Joy and Spiritual Survival,” Ensign, November 2016, 81–84, online at lds.org.

Lingering...

The essence of Easter remains and the uniqueness of it all is stored as a memory, that all of us will share off and on over the years.  Yesterday we had the remnants of our feast...a ham sandwich, on a homemade roll - gifted by a properly socially distanced friend!

Calling the celebratory meal a feast is a stretch of the imagination!  I did have ham at the ready in the freezer.  Potatoes were on hand.  I can always make gravy.  Packets of frozen veggies, like corn and peas, are always good.  Olives add a bit of zing.  Piecrust was home baked but not homemade!  A jar of mincemeat, purchased for storage last year, made for a specialty dessert.

There were just us two.  I was glad that we had each other and weren't alone.  True we are alone from the world but we are not alone here in our home.

We talked about what we wanted to do for Church at home and we decided to have a celebration of music.  I'm admittedly sad when our Christmas and Easter Sacrament meetings aren't filled with music...to listen to and to sing our hearts out!  We both love beautiful sacred music.  So we did a goose-bump Sabbath meeting!  It was follow-up to our listening to The Messiah on Good Friday!  Surely isn't there something that says a person can't have an overload of music!

So we ended up enjoying Andrea Bocelli here in his live concert from Italy with his Music of Hope.  It was tender.  Such a nice gift he gave.  We could only understand Amazing Grace but we felt the other few songs in our hearts.  Then we listened to two previous Easter Spoken Words.  The 2014 one ended with Hallelujah! and we wanted that as our closing song so it was perfect.

We talked about our thankfulness for our Church membership and our testimonies of living Prophets and all those sorts of things.

We each visited another Church service so to speak.  Terry attended an old Billy Graham revival.  I attended the live from Italy, full Easter Mass conducted by Pope Francis from the Basilica.  Except for the cc on his blessing to the world, it was (as the saying goes) all Greek to me.  I found his apostolic blessing to the world so interesting.  Our Prophet, the true lead Apostle, gives us blessings and they are for all the world. here I found the mass interesting on all counts.  This gigantic edifice and them doing their social distancing with their 8 member choir or was it 12?  9 short pews with one person per pew.  Actually several people were involved...2 nuns and the rest all men.  I wondered about the incense...how can they breathe that without coughing?  The thing that really got my attention was when the Pontiff blessed the sacrament.  Only he partook.  I thought of millions of people, throughout the world of our faith, that had the sacrament in their home- without the necessity of waiting for the all clear signal to congregate so that they could partake of that renewal.  The Pope's belief of the meaning of the Sacrament, and my belief, are much more than a difference in the language spoken but I did enjoy the long mass- just out of curiosity.

We shared what we had learned from attending other Church services and shared our gratitude for being believers of the truth in the Restoration!

Speaking of gratitude...every single day I'm just thankful to the max for this absolutely beautiful weather!  The gentleness of seasonal changes around here never gets old.  Spring softly and slowly is unfolding and I LOVE it!  We do not live on property considered prime viewing.  We live smack dab in the center of a small town and our subdivision property is more safety-wise than beautiful-viewing wise of any mountains but there is one window that allows me a view of Mount Rainier, the top anyhow, if I stand at a specific angle and gaze out.  I check it out each morning.  Love our earth!

Have a great day!  Happy Hibernation!

I miss seeing people on Sunday!!!

I believe this, don't you?

Easter week is all tied up with General Conference and anticipation of the World-Wide Fasting tomorrow...just seems like an overload of abundance in the joy factor!  I will take it.  Yes.  All I can absorb...I will soak it up!

This  morning I read a lot and I really enjoyed the bit below.  I told you my favorite study source is Book of Mormon Central...from today... 

*******************

Regarding Alma’s teachings of Christ, his use of chiasmus makes it clear that Christ’s mortal nature—the “flesh”—was an essential part of His Atonement. It was His mortal nature that enabled Him to suffer in Gethsemane, and to endure death at Golgotha. But Alma also taught that Christ’s mortal experience itself—His “go[ing] forth” and experiencing the “pains, afflictions, and temptations” of mortality—was a vital aspect of His atoning sacrifice.4

This aspect of His Atonement enabled Him to be merciful and succor all who come unto Him during their own times of suffering. Elder Dallin H. Oaks recently taught:

Our Savior’s Atonement does more than assure us of immortality by a universal resurrection and give us the opportunity to be cleansed from sin by repentance and baptism. His Atonement also provides the opportunity to call upon Him who has experienced all of our mortal infirmities to give us the strength to bear the burdens of mortality. He knows of our anguish, and He is there for us.5

 Elder David A. Bednar similarly taught,

The Savior has suffered not just for our sins and iniquities—but also for our physical pains and anguish, our weaknesses and shortcomings, our fears and frustrations, our disappointments and discouragement, our regrets and remorse, our despair and desperation, the injustices and inequities we experience, and the emotional distresses that beset us.

Elder Bednar concluded, “There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first.”6

*******************
2 minute testimony of Elder Holland.. here

A puzzle piece! found!!!

The last year and a half in the Church, for me at least, has been absolutely the most amazing unexpected adventure since I joined the Church!  The most exciting time ever, with change after change in policies and procedures but never a single change in the doctrinal base line- adherence to the 5 pillars...faith in Jesus Christ/repentance/baptism/Holy Ghost/endure to the end.  Led by revelation from living Apostles and Prophets!

I, along with every other member of the Church, looked forward with eagerness, to this specific Conference and it definitely went way beyond mere imagination!  It was, and still is, overwhelming and exciting with all that was announced!

The feeling of our being Christ-centered was cemented for the world to see!  It feels so good to be so Christian!!

When Elder Uchtdorf spoke with his powerful invitation to... come.  come unto Christ.  Come join with us.  We need you.  Christ needs you.... I had a flashback to a tent revival in Anchorage when I was a teenager and also a reminder of my Baptist preacher, ending each sermon, with a loud pleading call to repent and be saved.  Elder Uchtdorf's  had no resemblance in delivery but it was such a beautifully enticing summons to Come Join the Ranks (hymn #250).  here

If a General Conference could be likened to a celebration, then this was it!  To me, it was like the most glorious Christmas ever!  Package after package opened and revealing the most unexpected beautiful gifts ever heard of!  Line upon line.  Precept upon precept.  Joy!  Joy beyond description!

I'm thankful for modern technology that allows me the luxury of just sitting and hearing or listening to all of these gems, one by one...over and over!  

On a very personal note, I received an answer to something that I'd long tried to understand.  It has been a long time in my longing.  Years and years.  In my mind I have a Pondering Pot.  Much like a slow cooking crock pot.  I put in there things that I wonder about.  Things that I need a more clear understanding of or even just plain understanding.  I'm always on the lookout for answers.  They are like puzzle pieces to my gospel journey.  Occasionally I happen on something and check to see if I can now take that elusive puzzle piece out and place it on my board.  This Conference, to my shock and amazement...I took a very personal puzzling piece and placed it on my Gospel Journey board.  It felt right and good...Solved and resolved enough!!

Each day since Conference I've awaited when I could read the talks and check the footnotes as I wanted to see the footnotes in the most eager way!  Today....footnotes!

This was my personal miracle...one single paragraph!...from The Great Plan by Elder Oaks here  I cannot find the words, at this point, to explain how this impacted me.  I will try later.  Here is the paragraph that I've read over and over and over!  This paragraph created a mind-boggling experience of understanding for me!!!  

Fourth and finally, modern revelation teaches us that our progress need not conclude with the end of mortality. Little has been revealed about this important assurance. We are told that this life is the time to prepare to meet God and that we should not procrastinate our repentance (see Alma 34:32–33). Still, we are taught that in the spirit world the gospel is preached even to “the wicked and the disobedient who had rejected the truth” (Doctrine and Covenants 138:29) and that those taught there are capable of repentance in advance of the Final Judgment (see verses 31–34, 57–59).

General Conference....

Stupendous!

The day of...

all geared up and ready to go!  fueled by anticipation and excitement and conviction!  so wishing I'd seen this 6 months ago!!!  here 

This will be great to savor over the next 6 months!  What a fantastic resource!!!!

Tablet at the readiness!  General Conference will be on in less than 2 hours!!!!!

ready or not...here we go!!

So looking forward to General Conference!  I fit the category of GC geek!  or would GC nerd, be the right label?  Whatever you want to call me...a groupie?...I'm mad about GC!!!  I'm ready for it, as best I can be, for me.

Now I'm thinking that there won't be some huge major change but just a plea to live the Gospel and be more Christ-like and share the message?  That Ensign article by President Nelson just got to me.  big time.  Now I feel at peace and that is what I always seek.  Peace.  Not ever knowing exactly what any outcome will be but always knowing that He is aware and President Nelson is thus aware and I just need to listen to Him and him and the Holy Ghost.

**********************

I thought this was so interesting.  I'd never tied all of this together, had you?.... Here

*************************

Did you see this!?  by President Nelson.  Love it!!

During trying times, few things are as reassuring and comforting as truth. The Apostle Paul foresaw our day and prophesied that trying times would come. He added that MANY would be ever learning, but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

What is true is that amid the gloomy darkness of a troubled world, the light of Jesus Christ shines ever brighter. He can speak truth to our hearts and minds as we seek Him and learn to hear Him.

In this regard, we look forward to the upcoming general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on April 4–5, during which we will hear from Church leaders about the glorious Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ and how His gospel brings peace to our lives.

(source...here)

**************************

want a quick review?  sort of a scan exam?  like checklists?  Here you go!

How President Nelson Has Invited Us to Prepare:

Study Joseph Smith's account of the First Vision as recorded in the Pearl of Great Price. More resources at Restoration.ChurchofJesusChrist.org. Ponder questions like "How would my life be different if my knowledge gained from the Book of Mormon were suddenly taken away?" or "How have the events that followed the First Vision made a difference for me and my loved ones?" Select your own questions. Design your own plan. Take steps to hear the Savior better and more often. For ideas, visit HearHim.ChurchofJesusChrist.org. To the sisters: Study prayerfully about the restoration of the priesthood and how to draw upon that power, beginning with reading Doctrine and Covenants sections 25, 84, and 107. Look for opportunities to share your feelings about the Lord Jesus Christ with your family and friends. ************************

here is another goodie of info!  What a great list!  Crash course in viewing all of Joseph Smith's First Vision accounts!  Technology...amazing!  what great research was done!

**************************

another amazing thing....

The 2020 April Conference will be unique due to the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. In February as events in the world were only starting to unfold and before Church meetings had been cancelled, Choir leaders were asked to have the conference music selections prerecorded for use if the need arose. These recordings were made after Music & the Spoken Word broadcasts while the Choir was still able to meet before restrictions on assembling large groups were put in place.

Choir members have remarked that their feelings during these rehearsals and recordings were deeper, more profound, and more powerful than other previous conference preparation experiences. They have all felt the chaos and tumult of the world but understand that now more than ever the world needs the power of music to uplift us, to help us find peace and comfort, and to bring us closer to Jesus Christ.

Feeling peaceful

well, I've finally settled down in my soul and feeling at peace about the talk!  At this point...I'm familiar with it!  I re-read it looking for mentioned things that I can do and made this list...

continue to be worthy of admission go His holy house...keep myself unspotted from the world...individual commitment...help prepare the world...strengthen my faith...resilient faith...remember divine nature...reserved for this time...standard bearer...covenant person...increase understanding of Church doctrine...relentlessly seeking truth...anchored in pure doctrine...pray for courage...follow Jesus Christ...increasing precision in keeping covenants...defend the Church...be a builder of faith--individually-in Christ-in His Church-in our family...prepare for my own divine destiny.

....and then I looked for .........

Promises-

Spiritual security will always depend upon how one lives, not where one lives. I promise that if we will do our best to exercise faith in Jesus Christ and access the power of His Atonement through repentance, we will have the knowledge and power of God to help us take the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people and to prepare the world for the Second Coming of the Lord.

*******

You will have days when you will be discouraged. So pray for courage not to give up! Sadly, some whom you thought were your friends will betray you. And some things will simply seem unfair.

However, I promise you that as you follow Jesus Christ, you will find sustained peace and true joy. As you keep your covenants with increasing precision, and as you defend the Church and kingdom of God on the earth today, the Lord will bless you with strength and wisdom to accomplish what only members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can accomplish.

I keep referring to it as the talk  -  actually it's an Ensign article  here

******

Then I read the following and enjoyed every word...

March 28th. Elder Holland spoke to the Church News here 

I drew strength and increased peace from all of it but especially this.... 

“The Spirit is not blocked by a virus or by national boundaries or by medical forecasts.” There are “gifts from heaven that are not limited by trouble in the land or illness in the air. …

“He who created this marvelous world in which we live can say to any of the elements in it: ‘This far and no farther.’ That is what He will say to this blight we are facing. In the presence of His majesty, even subatomic-sized creations must bend—if only figuratively—and each in its own way ‘confess’ that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, the great Redeemer of all. Under the direction of His Father, the Savior is in charge of the destiny of this world. We are in very sure and loving hands.”

the talk...

Last night, at the close of our day, Terry and I were still talking about the talk his desire that I share the talk, along with my feelings to our children.  Perhaps that explains why I awoke early this morning and had a first ever experience for me.  Tears in my ears!  I did not know that could happen!  but it can and it does and it did!

Gently awaking, and flat on my back, quiet and still in my non-motion recline- the talk filled my mind as seemingly unending tears coursed down my cheeks and into my ears and then down my cheeks to my pillow.

I mourned and wept and prayed and pleaded and questioned (not the happenings or the talk contents) but...what about our children...our grandchildren...our relatives...our friends?  What about our fellow members--those nearby and those far away...our neighbors?  What about this virus...the pending disaster afterwards- personal economics...world economics...dreams and plans that will not come to pass?

My heart pleaded for all the above and at the same time asked...What can be done?  What can I do?  

The gravity of the situation is...I cannot make any of this go away.  It is what it is and it's a part of prophecy foretold about the last days.  This is the signs of the times.  You know by now that I'm a believer in the if/then of living my spiritual life.  If you do as scripturally mentioned then you will receive the promised blessing.  That is a scriptural promise that I hold to.  (D&C 130:20-21;132:5)

There is no way I can stop the happenings.  I am also a believer in feeling personal peace.  You also know that if I can feel inward peace...the assurance that comes from that, no matter the direness of any situation, then I can be okay.  I then know that I can deal with a freight train coming at me and know that the switch-man will pull that lever, and even if he arrives late for that switch and disaster happens to me or to those I love...I can still be at peace with that blessed assurance of the peace that passeth all understanding. 

How long I was engaged in this early morning experience I don't know.  I know it was a long time and I know that I've not explained it very well and have just shared an overall description, of a part of it but I tried.

I pled for understanding of the things that are so bothersome to me in the talk.  I plead for what should I do?   what can I do?  is there a measure of peace anywhere in the talk that I can cling to?

To my mind came the thought to re-read the talk again about the world weeping.  I re-read the talk again.  That is in the very 2nd paragraph.  I looked at the article title...The Future of the Church: Preparing the World for the Savior's Second Coming.  I realized that my part in preparing the world at large, is me preparing my world that is small in comparison.

And then, as a wonderful personal blessing...the answer I pled for...I found the if/then clause that I so longed for!!  A promise!  Promises!

However, I promise you that as you follow Jesus Christ, you will find sustained peace and true joy. As you keep your covenants with increasing precision, and as you defend the Church and kingdom of God on the earth today, the Lord will bless you with strength and wisdom to accomplish what only members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can accomplish.

 That entire section of Face the Future with Faith, when I re-read the talk for the umpteenth time, seemed bathed in new light.

I do believe as I continue to study and ponder in preparation for General Conference that other things will be said that dove-tail with this!

the talk here

********************************

this   Just now seeing it for the first time!

Countdown to Conference!

This particular upcoming General Conference...I've felt like I was given so many assignments to study in order to be ready.  Did you feel that way also?  LOTS of homework!

Study Section 25...study Section 84....study Section 107...do the Come Follow Me program...study about the Restoration and read JS-H.  In spare time read Saints and watch Book of Mormon videos!!  I've read and studied and pondered and prayed.  Currently Quarantined!  Asked to fast by our Northwest Authority and then being asked to fast world-wide by the Prophet!  It has a been a busy and very enjoyable and enlightening nearly 6 months of preparing.

Thank heavens for technology.  Obviously this was in the master plan of the Master Planner!  Nowadays anyone can write a book or do a blog or do a YouTube and there are YouTubers all over the place...all promoting the Come Follow Me program.  Some I enjoy and some I don't.  It's nice to find something that works for each person's likes and learning curve preference.  My personal overall favorite is here  Every day a reminder comes to my email and I can be as involved as I want.  Today I read about the different accounts of the first vision.  I really enjoyed it...especially Orson Pratt and Orson Hyde and Levi Richards.  here

Last week I watched a 5 part series on The Restoration by a young man that has some great info... it's a really nice presentation.  I see that the WYM are watching it as a group.  If you are interested...it's on YouTube...David Butler and the Restoration.  Plus the Church has a wonderful podcast series on the First Vision. 

We are ready as we can be.  For us, anyhow.

Truth be told.  I'm teary over the magnitude of that article by President Nelson.  The one in the April 2020 Ensign. here   I've read it several times.  I've marked it up with lines and stars and numbers and circles.  I've looked up the mentioned scriptures and followed the footnotes.  I've looked up words in the Dictionary.  I've thought about it and prayed about it and pondered and wondered and mulled it over...what on earth is going to happen?  How will this come about???  and then I do, my most female thing...I sit down and I cry.

I cry over certain words and certain phrases and certain paragraphs.

Words like...unprecedented...accelerated...unparalleled

Sentences like...the time is coming when those who do not obey the Lord will be separated from those who. 

Why do we need such resilient faith? Because difficult days are ahead. Rarely in the future will it be easy or popular to be a faithful Latter-day Saint. Each of us will be tested.

***********

You will have days when you will be discouraged. So pray for courage not to give up! Sadly, some who you thought were your friends will betray you. And some things will simply seem unfair.

********************

(I love the paragraph below!!)

Do whatever it takes to strengthen your faith in Jesus Christ by increasing your understanding of the doctrine taught in His restored Church and by relentlessly seeking truth. Anchored in pure doctrine, you will be able to step forward with faith and dogged persistence and cheerfully do all that lies in your power to fulfill the purposes of the Lord.

********************

This seems to me to be the time of the women.  Elder Oaks has said that President Kimball's prophecy was being fulfilled now. here  He has said that a couple of times. 

Lovely...

My sister would be proud of me this Sunday morning...I'm wearing a very bold necklace. A piece of costume jewelry...a long length chain from whence hangs a very large heart!  Maybe 2"?  It's covered with pearls and diamonds and set in gold!  You get the visual?  Dixie was a collector of all things that she found beautiful.  Let's just say that QVC and HSN were pretty much on a first name basis with her and she had all pre-sale info on her favorites.  It would make her happy that I chose a necklace for my Sunday wear.

Our Mother dressed herself up on Sundays, in a house dress, as they were called in those days, in observance of a day of rest.  A non-member and non-attender of any religion, and yet she kept the Sabbath day Holy.  It took me years to realize that had happened in my life and I so appreciate that she did that.  I know I've blogged about that fact before.

All of that just to say...unless I'm sick...yes. I dress for Sunday.  Not because I have to but because I like to.  Right now it's nearly 1pm and Terry is still asleep after a non-sleep night but I'm ready for Church-at-home when he is and we will enjoy our time. 

General Conference apparel?  bath robe and nightgown for the majority of time!!

I also decided to paint my nails red.  From my teen years on I wore nail polish and loved every minute of it.  As my hands started showing my birthday years...I switched to subtle colors that I really enjoyed but now...I'm back to red!

**********************

Our sacrament meeting was beautiful ....the only announcement was- there will be a break-the-fast meal after this meeting and everyone is invited... The chorister forgot the hymn books...Everyone present shared their testimonies which included a lot of gratitude from their hearts for everything in their hearts.

Wow!

Yesterday I read an article by President Nelson.  A brand new one which made me think, at first, that it was a copy of his Conference talk.  Then I scanned to the bottom and then realized it was lengthy and new.  True, it has some things that he mentioned before but wow!!  this is something else.  I've never heard a living Prophet say all of this at one time.  It's on the digital Ensign (we don't have our magazine in our mailbox yet)  here it is.

The Future of the Church: Preparing the World for the Savior’s Second Coming

What he said about friends really got my attention!  And persecution!  the part entitled  Face the Future with Faith...really got my attention.  Terry's interest in the happenings in Jerusalem were covered in the section ...the Second Coming.

I'm looking forward to studying this.

Between preparing for General Conference (with all we were asked to do study wise) and fasting and hibernating and now the wonder and amazement of this talk....What a time to be alive!!

Yes!

My reality...

Early morning somberness in our neighborhood.  A stillness.  No movement anywhere.

Even, the yet leafless, weeping birch appears lifeless.

A hush everywhere.

Porch lights.  Soft glow of street lights.

Darkened houses.

No traffic sounds.  None.

No feeling of bustling or hurriedness- for meeting deadlines at school or work.

Stillness.  Everywhere.

The stench of subtle fear.  Concern.  Wanting everyone that is ours...family...friend...neighbors...even strangers to be safe and secure and having enough.  Enough of whatever they deem to be their enough.

God, our Father, is well aware of the happenings in the world at large and in our worlds of small.

As Tiny Tim said...God bless us every one.

***********************

There is hope shining brightly before us....Hymn #19.  check out verse 2!

Talk about the promise of hope!!!... from President Ballard...  here

Eerie...

perhaps that is not the word you thought of when you heard that ALL of the Temples are closed...worldwide!...but that was the emotion that coursed through my mind.

Just a simple statement... effective last night...every single Temple in the world is closed.  True- it's a temporary closure but still...for me it's like a light went out.  That beacon is no longer there.  Conditions are the exact way the world was before the Church was restored in it's fullness!!!

I've been loading up on my studies about the Restoration, in preparation for the upcoming, most anticipated General Conference (ever!) and as I've studied how the Church was put together... organized... much like a jigsaw puzzle--A little bit of this and then a little bit of that...Questions asked and explanations given and eventually the Lord's Church, in it's fullness, was again on the earth.

A part of that fullness was the Temple- with all of the covenants available and all of the ordinances available for everyone...currently living or previously living...it was there for everyone.  Plus it was available all the time, for the desirous person with a current Temple Recommend- as a refuge from their storms...a place of personal revelation...a place of peace...a place that you feel it's Holiness.

At this moment no one, not a single soul living on this earth, has access to any Temple.  No one can start their marriage and be sealed by those with that authority...no one can take out their own endowment...no one can do proxy work.  No one can do anything IF that anything involves or necessitates entering a Temple.

I know it's temporary.  I know things will open up again.  I know Temple building, of new & yet unannounced Temples & restoration/renovation of older Temples, will pick back up.  I know that.

But...I know this is my year for needing a new Temple Recommend and as I checked it this morning and see that it's valid through May, I did wonder...when will I be going to the Temple again?

Is this true????

I've seen this twice and while I would love for it to be true...I question it.  I cannot find the original source...I'm wondering why he would go to Vegas at this time...it feels like the Prophet would say this at Conference...and on and on my doubts go.  I've googled it thoroughly...well, my thorough, so maybe someone else knows a trick to finding it.  there is no mention of it on his FB page. 

and...IF not true why would it be published and who published it? 

Very curious.

Beautiful weather here...

Good morning...wherever you are!  What an interesting and fascinating time to be alive and be a part of something that the entire world is aware of and focusing on.  We started out, at least it seemed that way to me, united with the attitude of -Houston, we have a problem- to now being fractionated. (did I just create a new word?)

The division is seemingly breaking into 2 camps...
#1-it's a bunch of bunk/handled wrong/scare tactic/politics/flu of the year/political 
 #2-look at Italy/listen to Doctors/stay home/social distancing/it's real  
etc. etc. etc. on both sides.

I thank heaven, literally, for a Prophet.  My heart is so thankful for my testimony of being led by a living Prophet and such gratitude for the restoration of the Gospel.  I loved his calm reassurance to us of the happenings in that recent brief statement to us.  Just a few minutes long but so much information of letting us know and feel of his confidence in the future.

Terry and I, as you know, are hibernating and happy to do so.  I'm thankful to be at ease with this.  I'm also thankful for friends that check on us and will pick up whatever requires a trip to the store, for something fresh or whatever we feel we need.

I am just enjoying every single solitary change that has come into the Church.  It is so livable and so doable and so practical and so enjoyable and so believable and so amazing...to see how President Nelson has been guided to gather us right to this very spot, for this very time.  I LOVE it!

Recently, we were listening to some Conference talks, that would fit with the Come Follow Me lesson, and somehow or other, I had the speaker but not the year or the talk title.  Terry found the talk that I thought was the right one.  Turns out it wasn't the one that I thought it was but it was a timely one!  I remembered that talk and how completely overwhelmed I was.  How inadequate I felt.  How impossible it seemed to do what President Benson said.  How defeated I was.  It was tough to hear and tough to take it and it was haunting to me.  Hearing it 40 years later...I still don't garden and still feel the guilt!  Give me a break...blame it on my parents that never had a garden!

How thankful I am to have seen so much history and lived to see so many changes!  Want a little trip down my memory lane?  Remember...I was pioneering-like in Alaska when I heard this talk and it hit so hard!  I was still reeling from the talk President Benson quotes by President Kimball and then this...here  This Prophet did not mince words and he left you with no doubt that he meant what he said!  He was wonderful!

Today's wonderful Prophet...here

my favorite...

I love to study the gospel and I love to learn about the gospel.  There are so many wonderful sites available...so many talented people sharing their take on each weekly Come Follow Me assignment.  I've watched all of them several times but so far my favorite one tends to be this one....  here   Give it a peek and see what you think.  It might have an ad at first.  I don't know why that happens sometimes.

It's called Teaching With Power.  I love his presentation on Jacob 5.  IF I had children at home...I'd definitely use his idea for presenting the longest chapter in the Book of Mormon...a chapter than can be mind-boggling and a bit overwhelming.

You can thank me later!

Let Us All Press On!

These lyrics and this arrangement are marching through my mind this morning...Fear Not...Courage...If We Do What's Right and on and on.  This arrangement is the best ever!  I treated myself to hearing the Tabernacle Choir sing it and will now gift it to you!  here  #243 (Spoiler alert...IF you listen to this arrangement it will forever be in your head!)

A great theme song for these times!

These times...I find myself saying in conversation---when the virus passes over...the virus will come, do it's damage and pass over.  That reminds me of the Passover - Exodus 12:21-28  such a simple thing they were asked to do and obedience brought the promised blessings. 

Just like one of my all time favorites with Moses and his instruction to make a pole with a brass fiery serpent on it and the people were instructed to look, if they got a bite - Numbers 21:6-9  I know I've written several times about these two incidents because I love the lessons in them...don't discount the simplicity or easiness of the counsel by Prophets...don't doubt-just do it!

Never have I been more thankful for the intensity of my testimony that we are led by a real Prophet!

Come Follow Me...about following the Savior and by doing as counseled by President Nelson?...I am also following him!

*********************

Exodus 12:

21 ¶ Then Moses called for all the elders of Israel, and said unto them, ^aDraw out and take you a ^blamb according to your ^cfamilies, and kill the ^dpassover.

22 And ye shall take a bunch of hyssop, and dip it in the blood that is in the basin, and strike the lintel and the two side posts with the ^ablood that is in the basin; and none of you shall go out at the door of his house until the morning.

23 For the Lord will ^apass through to smite the Egyptians; and when he seeth the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the Lord will ^bpass over the door, and will not ^csuffer the ^ddestroyer to come in unto your houses to smite you.

**********************

Numbers 21:
 6 And the Lord sent ^afiery ^bserpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.

7 ¶ Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have ^asinned, for we have spoken against the Lord, and against thee; pray unto the Lord, that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses ^bprayed for the people.

8 And the Lord said unto Moses, ^aMake thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall ^blive.

9 And Moses made a ^aserpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.