out with the old and...

on with the new!  and there I go.  4-1/2 years in YW as the Laurel teacher and now....here I come- I move to Primary!  This will be a new event for me on many levels and an interesting twist also.

The twist?  Years ago I taught Melissa in Seminary as a 14 year old.  Years later, she, now a Mother of 5!, I then teach her daughter, Maci, as her Laurel teacher for 2 years.  Maci is now at BYU-I.  Melissa is a Counselor in Primary.  In Primary I will teach another of Melissa's children.  this time a son!  So I have been teaching people in this one family since 1989!  I find that a twisty story!

Change is so good.  It's invigorating and energizing and there is inspiration and revelation and a newness on so many levels.  Our Bishopric really went all out today as the YW and the RS were entirely reorganized!  Plus 4 new teachers in Primary and a Gospel Doctrine teacher also!!  Lots of farewells and "setting aparts" and a new feeling that seems so appropriate for a New Year.

I joined the Church in 1961 and was asked to teach the Co-pilot B class.  Preparing the children for baptism.  I loved it.  I was brand new and I learned as I taught the children the basics of the Gospel.  That was for one year.  Then I was Primary Secretary a few years later and a Primary Counselor for a very short while as they called me to the Mutual program.  And that is it!!  I've always had a Church calling but in 57 years membership in the Church...never in Primary!!  I know nothing but I will soon learn!!  I am excited to experience this new adventure!!

I will teach the oldest age children.  I think they are 11 years old.  Aren't those the ones that feel Primary is for babies and they want to be 12 and leave and be all grown-up in YM/YW?  And they feel embarrased and to old for the yearly Primary program?  Seems I've heard comments over the years about...she is so glad to be out of Primary.  She could hardly wait to leave.  Well, that will be interesting if that is the case!  Whatever I find, perhaps my enthusiasm for being their teacher and being in Primary with them, and letting them know I love them already and am so glad to be with them, maybe I can turn the tide! 

I have been so excited about this coming New Year and this just adds to my anticipation of fantastic things to look forward to.

Happy New Year, tomorrow! 

Oh, boy...maybe what I heard is true!!!!  

Really?

Lights still glowing!

Admittedly...every morning I arise early and sit in the darkness of my living room.  Not totally dark though...Christmas lights still a twinkling!  Loving it!  Reluctant to bring it to a close!  and by the way...who dictates that I must bring it to a close?  The same invisible beings that tell me what is fashionable and current?  Me, rebellious me.  I will take them down next year! but not today.  It's so cold and icy out and a skiff of snow makes winter so wintry.  Enjoying and loving it.  This year when all the Christmas things are packed away, I'm not going to take the garland down over the mirror.  I'm going to leave it in place until Easter!

So how was your Christmas?  Ours was wonderful.  No stress.  No muss.  No fuss.  and....No Turkey!
Turkey was to be the centerpiece and it was thawed and ready and I decided it took up to much room in the fridge so I put it in the garage to keep chilled.  Uh-huh...you guessed it!  When I went to get the turkey it was frozen!  Again.  So...I really like those Costco frozen turkey breasts.  (the ones they only sell November-December until they are gone) You can even cook them frozen and I usually keep one in my freezer.  I got it out, brought it in, and discovered it was a Safeway one and the directions were so explicit about not even taking it out of the wrapper until totally thawed that it scared me off!  so we ended up with Zaycon deboned chicken thighs!  Browned and baked in my trusty cast iron skillet.  Delish!

A great dinner with just the two of us.  Very relaxed and comfy with hours of Christmas music from the Mormon Channel and also hours of watching A Christmas Carol.  So many available from so many years ago.  The oldest one was from 1935 (Terry's favorite one).  I watched one version of The Nutcracker.  I no longer have access to all of the different ones that I had DVD'd because we no longer have TV channels.  (we do not miss cable at all.)  I know I could have looked more and found some but we ended up enjoying a series called When Calls the Heart.  Hallmark.  you know how fairytale those productions are but it was sweet and clean and enjoyable. 

Aging has so many luxuries when you are retired and don't have the pressure of getting out and going to work.  We don't fret about weather and driving on hazardous roads.  We are warm and comfy and blessed beyond measure.  We are thankful, so grateful, for our lives and living and being an American.  We love our country and the spot that we live in.  We are thankful for so much.  We are even thankful that the Church is practically in our backyard!  and our Temple only 55 minutes away!

My heart feels happy with anticipation of a New Year and everything fresh and starting over.  A newness.  I like the thought of newness and regeneration and getting things in order.  2018.  I will welcome it gladly and embrace it and love it and live fully. 

I'm still in love with lights and these two memes caught my attention.

 

I would love for my blog, A Candlestick, to illuminate and warm my readers.  I will be more consistent in posting and hope that I can give that to you as I certainly receive that from you!  I love visiting with you and sharing my thoughts!

Christmas Eve

I love it when Christmas Eve is on Sunday!  Happening every 7 years and it is such a marvelous lead-in to Christmas Day.  7 years from now....who knows where I'll be?

Every year I wish that our Ward would do a Christmas Eve program, on Christmas Eve and invite the community.  Every 7 years I get my wish, at least in the Ward.

We had another Ward meet with us today.  Our congregation has become very small and the visitors have the same challenge so it was fun for all of us to be together.  (Their furnace is still not working.)  I wish they would meet with us all the time.  I wish we could be combined.  This post isn't about wishing.  It's about the joy of having Christmas Eve on Sunday.

So many went the extra mile to look real spiffy and Christmasy.  Lots of darling little girls in new dresses.  Lots of red and a bit of sparkles in jewelry.

A large garland across the front by the podium.  You know I love garlands.  Lights and ribbons and pine cones and shiny ornaments.  Beautiful and classy.  Made it feel so inviting.

A very simple program filled with inspiring narration and lots, and lots, of music.  Families singing and soloists and groups and violinists and a big variety.  So inspiring and comforting and uplifting.

The entire program and being with such great people, really made my mind drift to the Savior and the love I have for Him.

2 of my treasures!!

I just keep feeling thankful and grateful for this season of celebration.  I'm still enjoying my decorations that have been up for quite some time.  A sweet friend wanted to help get the outside garlands plugged in and it didn't work between cords and outlet location.  I told her I was fine with it and the nice thing is...I really am.  the garland is hung and next year is soon enough to plug it in!  I told her she can help me out in 2018!  It feels good to be satisfied with a smaller amount of decorations and not wish for more.  I'm content.

Not being bothered about superfluous things regarding decorating and gift buying has made my heart even more thankful for my family as it frees me up to think of things that are important to me.

Today I've thought about the power of family love and how important and wanted and needed, in my life...actually in our life each person is.  Our family life.

When I was a young girl I always wanted to grow up and be a Mother.  A mother to several little girls.  No boys.  All girls.  As it turns out...the way it was meant to be... I ended up with 4 boys and 1 girl!

This is about that girl.  I adore this girl and I have since the minute she was born.  She is marvelous and kind and gentle and compassionate and so good to us.  We are friends and that is so wonderful!

When I was young I got a new dolly every single Christmas and that was my absolute favorite, most looked forward to special gift, a new doll.  I was shocked when my little girl only loved the first dolly she received and never wanted another one.  She did have a little tiny doll that would fit in her hand.  That was it.

She let us know she loved FollyDolly.  Even the doll losing her remaining dab of hair and a dog chewing off her fingers of one hand and reducing Jeanee to tears until we bandaged her up, didn't diminish her love of the doll.

Over the years, and well past when girls want dolls, she would tell me she was looking forward to having a real baby someday.

We had felt for around 5 years that someone was missing from our family.  I believe that all women can identify with that feeling and longing.

The feelings became more intense as time went on.  Our family prayed and our Ward even prayed for us.  Then we had our miracle...we did get our baby but she felt he was her baby.

Although she wanted a sister, she welcomed a big 9# brother.  She was small and he was very large but she carried him and tended him and loved and adored him.  The closeness remains after all of these years and that is beautiful to me.

This is my--cry for the day picture.  My gratitude expands in my heart when I see these two and know that the love I see here, has been there since David arrived, when only a couple of days old, into our home, into our hearts, and still has that place reserved for only him.

As I said...Mom trickling tears of tenderness. 

Add caption

Big Sis with her little brother!

"I was thristy and....

ye gave me drink".

I am always aware of the importance of water.  I love a good water supply.  I'm well aware of why I feel it so strongly.  I'm familiar with hauling water down roads...running out...pipes freezing.  Having to make choices between...washing a load of clothes...bathing someone...doing dishes etc. etc.  It did not last forever but it lasted long enough, and was tough enough for me personally to deal with, that I've never stopped my love of an abundance of clean water.

There were lots of people with similar situations but they seemed to roll with it better than me.  I found it traumatic.  I'm probably the only person that sighs when shower water hits me and says a thank thee prayer.  Maybe not.  My daughter, never takes daily water for granted either.  Every once in awhile we talk about our appreciation for taps that flow.

One year for my husbands birthday I gave him one of those big blue barrels for storing water.  I think Vikings feel pioneer living is a marvelous adventure.  I thought it meant I'd sit under trees, soak up the mountain scenery, breathe the marvelous cold crisp air and write poetry while my WW bread bakes and my freshly laundered clothes flap on the clothesline.

Alaska is known for it's fantastic water except for Homer (unless things have changed.  Most likely no change as my dear friend, Joyce, has her water delivered to this day.)  Our storage tank was way to small and inadequate.  She has a gigantic one but even with that luxury...water is never wasted.

When we first moved there, I was invited to a bridal shower.  A Branch sister had her Mother in attendance.  She asked me how I was doing.  I told her I was use to a shower each evening....I missed relaxing and dreaming and sometimes crying my heart out with hot water pounding my back. I was having difficulty with adjusting to lack of water and Terry carrying it often by hand because the road was not driveable. etc. etc.  I told her I'd gone to the local hotel a couple of times and paid to use their shower.  One time I'd gone to the Spit and used one out there at a campsite just being opened.  I didn't realize that she owned the only Laundromat in town.  They lived upstairs and had washer/dryers downstairs and then....several showers that could be used, for a fee of course.  A few days later she sent me a sweet note and totally unexpected and a huge surprise.... a lot of coupons for showers!!! I have never forgot her sensitivity and kindness.  I cried tears of joy!  & thankfulness!!

I could go on and on with my love of and gratitude for running water from taps in my house but I won't.  I will share this thought...maybe you have to much stuff and so does your family and maybe you want to do something different this year for Christmas gifts.  How about the gift of water????

Compared to what these folks go through...I had nothing to whine about.

You can give a one time gift or a monthly gift.  here

(I've been thinking-- it was almost 20 years with our water problem/challenge/situation and it was only resolved, and the battle was over, when we moved!)

Young Friends

I continue to enjoy our Christmas lights and tree with ornaments and Christmas carols (lots of them!) All of the Nativities.   The only garland that is lit is the one on the piano.  the outdoor ones have no lights.  why?-- because they aren't plugged in.  It's about extension cords and and that sort of stuff.  Next year it will happen but for this year the bit of green and and pine cones are just fine.  I still want to get two live wreaths, one for outdoors and one indoors.

My mind is full and my heart is full.  My thoughts have been filled with friends this last while.  I value my friends.  Lately I've been thinking of my youngest friends.

These 3 friendships started with love and they were initiated by each friend.  It's interesting to me that they each felt drawn to me around the time they were 4 years old.  Now they are 7, 8 and 11.  One lives here.  One in Vancouver.  One in Nevada.  Brooklyn. Aleya. Lydia.

I've thought a lot about what makes a young child turn to an adult?  Talk to them.  Trust them.  Want to sit with them at Church.  Draw them pictures.  Make gifts. Want to come visit at my house.
How does that happen? 

I did not reach out and try to intentionally befriend them.  Maybe I appeared very grandmotherly or non-threatening?

Eventually I realized they each liked me to speak softly and privately to them and to listen with interest to what they had to say.

Aleya, wanted me at her baptism.  I didn't get that message and missed it.  She would drop by with her Grandmother at times.  She is very shy.  She never sat with me at Church and now they have moved.  Sometimes Aleya (her family at that time lived with MaryLynne) would join us as we talked about the Gospel and she always had a lot of questions.  Questions that seemed so mature for one so young.  Her Grandmother MaryLynne just passed away.  MaryLynne had wanted others to Grandmother her grandchildren as she knew she would pass on. I will continue to love Aleya.  (I spoke at MaryLynne's funeral and brought the hummingbird feeder that she'd given me one year for my birthday.  Aleya had come with her that day.  I gave it back to Aleya after the funeral.  She told her Daddy that I am one of her Grandmothers.)

Brooklyn, is spunky and adorable and treats me so kind.  She used to sit with me more often but she likes me to herself and our pew has sort of filled in.  She draws me pictures and makes me things and likes to visit.  She likes to know I have saved her pictures she has made me.  She is bothered, as I am, that I cannot find a flower pin she gave me.  She likes to visit.

Brooklyn will be 8 next year.  Aleya will soon be 9.  And the longest friendship is with Lydia and she will be 12 shortly.

Lydia sat with us for years and her parents and brothers right behind us.  She was so shy and so sweet.  To our dismay she moved away.  We determined to stay in touch but neither of us did real great at it.  Now we have reconnected and I'm so thankful.  We vowed early on to be BFF's and now we are back on course.

What I see now is the impact and encouragement I can have on Lydia as she moves into the YW program next week.  Today she got to participate and dance at the Cedar River Temple festivities.  I see that all those years of seemingly nothing, except sweet pleasantries laced with love, were actually laying the foundation of giving me freedom of speech, to tell her whatever I want at this point in time, regarding my feelings/thoughts on the Gospel and life in general.  There is a trust there and a love that is real.

I'm actually going to write letters.  On stationary!  Use stamps.  Old school.  I'm aiming at once a month contact.  I do hope it does not fizzle or flop or fade.  I hope it just steadily flows along.  Peaceful and certain.

IF I were a young girl, I think it would be wonderful to have someone, beyond family, that has absolutely no obligation to love or care about me and yet they do!  I'm regrouping my life and figuring out how I can light the world, this next year, while mostly being home....caring about relationships with my family/friends is one of them, if not the main one and who knows maybe my only one!  Now you know my plan for my 3 very youngest friends!

(my penmanship is atrocious and slow.  I do want to get a fountain pen but I can see I'm nowhere ready for that feat yet.  Anyone use an inkwell at school?  Remember the bottles of ink with the little well inside?  I guess I'll find out if they still make those ink bottles or do they use cartridges of some sort?  Do they still use blotters?)

Lit

5a.m. and I was staring out the window into the darkened sky, knowing if I kept a steady gaze, stars would appear.  Light by light they filled the sky.  I loved it!  Starlight and Christmas lights all remind me of the Light of the World...our Savior.  Those dibs and dabs of twinkly sprinkles, speak hope to me and peace, and make me feel all comfy inside.

That marvelous feeling of brisk winter coldness makes me want to bake bread and a vat of soup and reflect on life and memories.  Memories of the past- lovingly relived.  Memories being made by reinforcement of traditions.  Traditions are just simple things repeated.  Even an annual repetition can make for lasting memories.

Last year the decision was made that we would scale back, down-size, give away, a lot of our annual Christmas tradition trappings.  The little houses and all sorts of other things.  The goal was to have it organized so that things could quickly be decorated and not drag it out.  It worked just as planned!  I was so anxious to get Christmas around us, for our enjoyment, that the tree was up the day after Thanksgiving!

Then something so special happened.  Our darling daughter came to visit.  For the first time since she was 18 years old, a senior in high school, we decorated together.  Simplicity the theme but abundance on the joy and memories and love we felt.  She hung old ornaments we'd made as a family in 1971.  We put out the top of the tree that we'd discarded last year and used it as a small tree under the mirror. We put the garland over the mirror.  We put out the Nativities.  Strung some garlands out on the porch.  Put a garland on top of the piano.  Every item made it more inviting and comforting.

Garlands of greener;y with pine cones and lights and Christmas Trees with lights and little lights here and there just bring me joy.

One year we came into December with heartache and pain and sorrow ... trying to recover and have some stability and firm footing.  It was a family tragedy, and is now an overcome situation and a memory, so it doesn't bear repeating. That isn't the purpose of me mentioning it anyhow.  What happened was- someone who knew of our heartbreak, mentioned to me, most sincerely, What a horrible time to have this happen.  Christmas time.  

I shared.... to me it was the best of all times to have traumatic events.  Everywhere I turn I see Christmas lights.  Lights that represent the Savior and His love.  Lights that give me hope.  Lights that remind me of all things Gospel...including the plan of happiness.  Lights that are reminders of keeping the faith and that I'm not alone.  Lights that remind me that He is aware.

I appreciate every light I see at this season.  Just as I appreciate the starlight, in it's constancy throughout the year, in all seasons.

 I believe it takes darkness to truly see the Light.  The true power of even a small light, like a match, is best seen in the dark.  When life events cause us to feel in the dark, that is when we appreciate even a glimmer of light.  With the Gospel Light, personal darkness seems to fade and evaporate. The greater the darkness the brighter the light will be, IF we ask for it.


Christmas lights are precious and wonderful to me!

*********************************
Just saw this.  Love it!

Tears here

my beautiful friend....

MaryLynne



Gone but never to be forgotten.  As kind as she was gorgeous.  Filled to the brim with love for her family.  Generous and compassionate with everyone.  Ever growing in faith and knowledge of the Savior.  Believed in and lived as Christ--giving unconditional love to all that she met.  Firmness of testimony and proclaimer of her faith in the Gospel.  A true friend.  

I'm thankful I got to see her on her last day of living her mortal life.  I looked at her spent, frail, small body...her greyed long hair combed back...her pain and voice silenced by medications...her induced deep sleep and slack jaw...her pallored skin-- and I thought...she fought the good fight...she finished her race...she won the battle...she endured to the end...she will soon be released and whole again. I cannot imagine her actually going to leave.  I love her.

Although I saw all of that...what lived in my mind was the above photo of her.  My mind was also filled with...Remembering the softness of her voice...her gentle laugh...her shared confidences with the struggles of mortal life...the joyous testimony of the Gospel she treasured and always, always, her increased love and pride for her children and her precious grandchildren. 

We shared so many wonderful memories over many years.  I know I will see her in the next life but right now, I so wish for more of those long ago, long gone past days and years and time in this life, we shared as friends.  I will cherish those memories.  

We love our friends and we weep over our friends leaving us.  I weep.

Psalms 30:5 ....weeping may endure for a night, but ^bjoy cometh in the morning.

Kiddos visit

How I love these 3!!  3 out of 5 are here!

I'll be back posting soon.

My guys look a little tired and then there is my smiley-face girl.  David on left (long awaited 3rd son.  4th child)  Jeanee in middle (rose amongst the thorns.  3rd child.  only daughter!)  Kipper on right (precious first born.  #1 of 5)  Each of them is totally unique and each has their own special place reserved just for them in my heart.  I am so blessed.  As siblings...they make it work!  All of those different drumbeats going on and they somehow or other make music that ebbs and flows and blends.

Gratitude for a great day!

Today was a day that seemed unusual to me.  Again...I was not at Church.  4 weeks in a row.  In all of my years of membership, I've never done that!  A month of Sundays that just streamed by.  I'm surprised at how isolated I feel.  Uninformed.  Excluded.  Unknowing. Left out.  Did I reach out?  No.  I thought about the importance to our spiritual health and Church activity, is our regular attendance.

I gave this scripture a lot of thought...

Moroni 6:
4... they were numbered among the people of the ^bchurch of Christ; and their ^cnames were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way, to keep them continually ^dwatchful unto prayer, ^erelying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and the finisher of their faith.

5 And the ^achurch did meet together ^boft, to ^cfast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.

6 And they did ^ameet together oft to partake of bread and wine, in ^bremembrance of the Lord Jesus.

So enough about missing Church!  Terry is feeling somewhat better.  I'm feeling good.  so life is moving ahead.

Our Thanksgiving was wonderful!  David and his family came.  I protested that we were not prepared for anything or anyone- infirmary here!- and he reassured me that he was bringing the fixin's and cooking and they wanted to be with us.  And so they came.  And it was wonderful!  

They did some finishing up for winter prep...gutters and final raking and cutting back some things and ended up loading the truck with stuff for the dump.  Plus scrubbing and cleaning a couple of things!  My kiddos are hard workers.  So thankful for that fact.

As promised he delivered on a grand dinner.  We enjoyed each other and played games and watched some TV and visited.  Kiddos spent time on art projects with their Uncle.  Plus our Grandson and his family came by.  

I think it was at that time that I felt so happy and content and glad they had pushed their way into coming, by refusing to listen to me, telling them to stay home!  It was that feeling of gratitude for family and for love and for my own life and all that is in it.  Such a feeling of bliss. Peaceful.

Dave has taken his family to Seattle to fly home and he will come back tomorrow and pick up his sister at midnight from her long flight from Florida.  She will stay for a week!  I look forward to her visit plus it makes me happy that 3 of my children will get to see each other. 

I've been so excited about getting our tree up so Gracie and I did it!  Friday we enjoyed every minute.  Plus we hung the big wreath.  Now I want to put the garlands out front and find the Nativities and get them out.  All of the festive things make me think of the Savior.  The Light of the World.  The reason for the season.  The source of Peace for all of us.

Pictures?  not a one.  sorry. 

I'm looking forward to December.  Actually I'm looking forward to tomorrow!  

It is Written

seeking happiness?  I tried and tried to link the New York times assortment of articles  here  I did forward it to family but was unable to share it here.  Basically...we know...mankind is that he might have joy.  Isn't joy a step up from happiness?  something to think about.

I hope your Thanksgiving is marvelous and you are happy and thankful to the max.

I'm thankful for each of you readers!

My life is rather hectic at this point and scary at times like those roller coaster rides that appear to be unsteady and ready to plunge off the tracks.  In spite of all this...way inside I feel this peace.  Peace never means to me that everything is going to turn out hunky-dory...peace to me means- the Lord is aware.  He knows what I'm dealing with and He will help me.  I had a real wonderful experience that has lasted for several days of just the feeling that I can get through whatever my life entails and when I think I can't go another step, He will give me a boost.  Sort of like those pioneers that felt someone was pushing their handcart when they could go no further.  They pushed forward with strength beyond their own.

I'm just so thankful for scriptures and that I believe them to be true.  When I read them, I recognize God's Word and His promise.  Again...I'm thankful for the love I have of learning and reading and pondering and praying and how fantastic it is when I am comforted and counseled by the words.

Remember when Christ rebuked Satan and 3 times said...It is written.  Those are sweet words.  When I read the scriptures, that feeling enters my heart- it is written and it is God's promise to me.  It is His truth and it gives me courage.

This last week my scriptures of great courage, my personal it is written word, was found here...

Isaiah 40:29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
and 
Psalm 107:6 Then they ^acried unto the Lord in their ^btrouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses.

I read vs. 28-31 of Isaiah 40 and I could not read and absorb it enough times. I loved the part that we cannot fathom His understanding and power.  We can hope for and anticipate and our strength will be renewed.  The feelings I had and the comfort and belief in the absolutes of these verses lack the passion I felt when I write them but it was there.  It is still there.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and enjoy these wonderful verses!  read the footnotes also.

It is Written....

Isaiah 40
28 ¶ Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the ^aeverlasting God, the Lord, the ^bCreator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no ^csearchingof his understanding.

29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

31 But they that ^await upon the Lord shall ^brenew their^cstrength; they shall mount up with wings as ^deagles; they shall ^erun, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Cough Medicine

Good morning to you from me.  As noted from my lack of posts- my life has been super hectic of late.  Isn't that how it is for all of us and especially, if we let it get out of control, this time of year?  So many things to be thankful for and to many to individually list but like cream, things do rise to the top, and make the list!

Right now, this minute, I'm thankful for details in instructions accompanying Rx!!  Silly?  Certainly sounds so!  Here is the story.

So Terry is struggling with all of his health issues, which have accelerated downward (is that a possibility to use those two words together?  Maybe plummet would be more apropos?).  Challenges abound.  In the meantime, plopped on top of all this... I end up with bronchitis.  Again.  Just like last March!  Go to Dr. and end up with Rx.  Again.  One of which is cough syrup.  Again.

And there is where the fine print on Rx connection comes in.  Cough medicine.  Rx cough medicine.  Not just OTC.  Strong and powerful stuff.  When my cough would get crazy...I'd take a spoonful.  As directed...right?  No.  Actually that was wrong.

Maybe this post should be about the blessings of the Holy Ghost and how even in our belief of our rightness, He can point out our wrongness.

I was sitting and hacking and was horrified when I heard myself wheeze.  Oh, no!  It's back!!  I sat there thinking and wondering what to do.  Into my mind popped the thought...Cough Medicine.  Read the directions. 

Really? Okay. 

Retrieving the new bottle of Rx, I read... take 10ml every 4 hours. What?!  (Don't judge me for not being the sharpest knife in the drawer)  I had never thought of regular doses being a part of the regime.  I just thought it was as needed.  I then found the paper with all of the disclaimers and side effects and realized how it would work in conjunction with the other two Rx...loosen and clear etc. etc.

It set my mind to wondering. My mind...my little mind that vainly thinks it pretty much knows it all...at times is actually pretty ignorant...sometimes. The wondering???....how many other things, including Gospel things, do I miss the mark, wonder why, and yet not check the details, for my course direction?  How many times do I do what I know is the best/correct way but if I really regrouped, reread the directions, I'd find I was sincere but off just enough, to foul up the very thing I wanted to accomplish?

Filled with thanks...

This is the time of year that everyone starts counting their blessings and mentioning things they are thankful for.  Comes to mind at once...Family and Friends and Home and on and on.  Today I'm thankful for something else.  Something other than the familiar list we each recall at this beautiful time of year.

Today I realized that I'm thankful for the things I've read and learned and studied and thought and pondered about the gospel, from the doctrinal viewpoint.  I'm thankful for the hours and years of opportunities to teach Gospel centered lessons because it increased my learning.  I've had this unreachable itch, practically since I joined the Church, to learn from authoritative sources.  Manual sources-- Manuals I have trusted in preparing lessons...Seminary and Institute and Gospel Doctrine and Gospel Principles and Temple Preparation and Relief society and Young Women.

Added to that, mentioned in all of the above manuals, are the Scriptures that I believe and embrace and read and love....The Holy Bible (King James version) ...The Book of Mormon...General Conference talks...the Hymnal...Doctrine and Covenants...The Articles of Faith.

In the Book of Mormon we are told to let these Scriptures be for our profit and learning.  That brings me to why I feel filled with thanks.

These last couple of weeks have been tough for me.  Terry has suffered and when one you love suffers, you can't help but absorb that in ways deep inside.  I wasn't feeling real swift myself and felt it was probably the stress and just the challenges of my life right now.  I really didn't feel like studying except for reading one chapter in the Book of Mormon.

I prayed and pleaded for direction and some relief and sat down and just relaxed and closed my eyes and allowed my thoughts to just wander.  It made me feel filled with thanks as scriptures and hymns, and connected thoughts of comfort, just slowly and lovingly meandered through my musings.  It was like refreshing reassuring cool water. 

I remember driving on a Sunday with my parents, as a girl, traveling on Turnagain Arm's winding road and my Daddy stopping the car and we all got out and drank ice cold water that seemed to gush from the rocky mountain side.  I remember them telling Dixie and I- this is the real thing. it doesn't get better than this!  I remember him cupping his hands and pouring it in his mouth the best that he could and making the most satisfying Ahhhhh and slapping the water off his hands on the sides of his legs. 

I thought of never taking water for granted even to this time, after years of Alaska living and hand hauling drinking water many times. 

Of course I thought of the Savior.  The Living Water.  Yes.  All of these jumbled precious thoughts just cocooned me and even though nothing had changed outwardly, inwardly I was so soothed.  That was when it hit me that I was glad I had things in my head, from my love of gospel learning, that the Holy Ghost could draw and bring those needed specific learnings to my mind.  I became filled with thanks.

Eventually solutions did surface over a short few days.  Terry's Rx started to work.  Our son figured out how to help lessen the pain when it kicked up.  I found out I have bronchitis and so I'm now 2 days into Rx.  So things have lightened up.  Somewhat.

I still relish that experience happening with such specificity and I am filled with thanks.  Thanks- for prayers being answered...& things learned and studied in the past, being brought to my mind, to help me when I most needed reminding of the power of the Gospel but was to tired and overwhelmed for any serious study. 

My heart is thankful and I truly am filled.

Blooming Geraniums

I have tried and tried to post pictures and I'm going to just go ahead without them.  I wanted to show you my two hanging geranium plants that are on the porch.  The leaves are still green and the flowers still a beautiful bright red.  There they are- defying the odds of cold November weather, long deprived of water, boldly hanging on, against the back drop of the brilliant fall colors, of the weeping birch, shedding it's leaves.  It is glorious!  I want to be like my magnificent plants.  Stalwart in the midst of challenges...maintaining who I am, the best I can, and enduring to the end...knowing eventually, despite the odds of desiring to survive, I too will fade and fall.

The other picture I wanted to share is the bag I dumped on the table, in trying to pick out the one Rx for my sweetie, that had to be searched for- in the heap of pharmaceuticals unceremoniously dumped after hours at the ER- as they tried to help him get on top of unrelenting pain.  Pain that causes him to cry out as it intermittently strikes without warning, like an electric shock.  that is how neuralgia delivers it's blows.  Usually others suffer in their jaws.  The unrelenting stabs nearly driving one insane.  His hits at random wherever it chooses.  This time though it pounded on his knee and then moved up further on his thigh.  You get the picture.  Unrelenting.  Without mercy.  He apologizes in between moans and yelps.  I reassure him and soothe him and I suffer exhaustion along with him.

Without him knowing, and out of sight, I remove my reassuring mask (after telling him I am just fine and he need not say he is sorry) put on some classical instrumental music or hymns, and tears silently stream, and a lot of stress is released.

Yesterday I cried all the way through a sublime music centered funeral and was comforted, and re-strengthened testimony wise, by all that was spoken and sung.

I read the scriptures.  I read Conference talks.  I read things on LDS.org about new changes coming.  I pray.  I think about the Savior.  I think about the Gospel.  I think about my testimony.  I think about faith.  I think about my beautiful Patriarchal blessing.  I think about the power of the Priesthood and in my mind's eye, that place of sacred memories...I think about this fine, honorable man, my love, that has used that power for good on so many occasions.  My life has been so richly blessed by his gift.  I talk with him about him needing a blessing.

His friend, Bob, is called.  A friend that he is very comfortable with. A friend that can withstand any outburst, of the sound, of nearly constant pain. A man seasoned in years and belief and understanding, of the power of the power, he has at his disposal.  Terry is comforted and reminded that a new Rx plan is in place and in time it will work.  Relief from the pain is mentioned and promised rest.  Sweetness of Spirit permeates the room.

A wonderful bit of rest ensues before pain resumes a couple of hours later.  It has lessened though and as he says it's tolerable.  The sweetness of taking the edge off of pain!!  Bliss! We talk about the ER Dr. and how he wants to help and he has a plan and we are embracing it.  It will take awhile to get the Rx in his system and working but we are game for several more challenging days, with such a bright light at the end of this dark tunnel.

We talk about how fortunate we are and how much worse so many others have it and so many never have the promise, the hope, of possibly a new approach, with a new Rx will help.  We have hope.

Psalms 30:5 ....weeping may endure for a night, but ^bjoy cometh in the morning.

What a promise!

Life is not for the faint of heart.  With the gospel and looking to the Savior...we can all survive and make it.  Here's to all of us pilgrims on the path of life...soldier on!!

Fight on my men!

I am hurt, but I am not slain;

I'll lay me down and bleed awhile,

and then I'll rise to fight again.
                                                                                                            by Sir Andrew Barton

I'm on my feet again.  and you?

Facelift

I really miss being able to post some pictures, even if they are amateurish, of my geraniums.  I hid my wicker chairs, stored is a better word, on the back deck.  They will be out of view and yes, I'll put the redneck tarp on them.  Who moved the chairs and my Dad's macrame table and the fake ivy topiary (of sorts) and the cushions?  Who will move the area rug tomorrow?  Why I did!!

A sweet, truly strong young Mom stopped by and it was tender as she had planned to move them herself!  Aren't people nice??

I enjoyed the deck so much and am looking forward to those new cushions next year!

This year I had the opportunity to sit and visit with our three 20-something Granddaughters.  It was interesting to hear their take on the porch.  It was an individual thing with each of them.  All totally agreed that they loved the porch and wanted one for their own homes someday.  All of them liked my colors but none of them particularly wanted the same ones when they were painting their own.  The real difference was in the mismatched chairs.

I like mismatched things because everything is always at home and welcome whereas if I have all matched things and one has to be replaced...it throws it off.  It's not balanced and you will notice the odd one.  My porch unity is wicker type furniture and chairs painted the same color and I'll probably go with the same cushions.  2 of the girls want mismatched eventually and the other girl wants matched.  Interesting-- their Moms feel the same way that they do.  I can be comfy with sets of things as long as nothing is thrown in to be out of place.

Now my sister was all about sets.  Not only sets but sets of 12!  On everything.  I've mentioned before her horror when I felt no compulsion to buy 12 but would settle for 5!

There is a gospel analogy in this porch preaching, don't you think?  Somewhere.  It's in there.

Maybe it ties in with change and making decisions and savorings and enjoying the moment and accepting each other whether we are matchy-matchy or helter-skelter...balanced or unbalanced...broken or whole.  Variety is the spice of life, so the saying goes.  Aren't our lives richer and fuller and more incredible because of how diverse we are?  We are blessed with being so different and yet exact replicas, in one aspect...we are mortal!  Privileged by good choices made long before we arrived here.

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home:

Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

-William Wordsworth, Ode: Intimations of Immortality From Recollections of Early Childhood

and then to top it off, after our arrival on earth...we re-chose to follow Christ.  Here we are in the Gospel and even in that, we have testimonies of varying degrees, but the core of our sameness is we do believe in Christ and His Church restored in it's fullness.

These last few days, handling challenges like we all do, was just that...challenging! but!....I have been on a spiritual excitement and feeling joy just thinking about the upcoming changes on the General Church level.

Some people don't like policy or procedural changes...to me it's the sign of a living Church.  It's refreshing!  Envigorating!  Exciting!

I have been trying to calm myself down and tell what I'm excited about on all the upcoming changes and instead my brain is on speed-dial and just whizzing about.

Changes in Primary? maybe this is old? here

Changes in Young Women?  didn't I read something?  somewhere?  here?

Changes in Missionary work  here  Wow!!!

Changes in Melchizedek and Relief Society Sunday Meetings  here

Changes in Visiting Teaching  here  (heaven sent!!!)

ALL of this will begin in January!  Yes...2018!  It is all so amazing to me!!  The thing that I was most excited about, and felt the load of guilt bricks lift off of my back, was the VT announcement!!!!  I love thinking that I'm not some sinner because I didn't go to a home each and every month and sometimes never!  I was in touch.  I did care.  I do love them but was always flailing myself with the guilt baton over how wicked I was for not gifting and baking and sitting on their couch in their cozy home, like everyone else was doing.  Now I just feel so free to just do whatever I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Whatever will be sincere and from my heart and it will be enough!  Yes!!

Actually if I calm down for a minute and think of how exciting all of this will be, then way up at the top of the list, the #1 all time favorite change, in big bold print is Sunday RS lessons going to be current General Conference Talks.

I've not been to RS in years but I'm so excited for this change anyhow!

Waffling a bit.  In all honesty, I'm still ecstatic about the VT change!!  I read Conference talks all the time and will do so, no matter what is taught in RS but to think of discussing current GC talks...oh, amazing!!  But the winner is, in my book, for the most exciting change and the one I'm eager to embrace is (drumroll).... Visiting Teaching!!!  

****************

I was going to copy the parts of all the changes that I think are so exciting.  So I started with the Missionary one and then stopped. Turns out it was all exciting to me   It's in the places I linked you to above and the FAQ below.

Missionary:
Such changes will include a new set of interview questions to be asked of prospective missionaries; a trimming of the number of missions to better fit the needs of each region of the world; replacing tablets with smartphones and an increased use of technologies that help find those interested in religion.

According to the Frequently Asked Questions document provided by the Church, information relating to the physical, mental, and emotional preparedness of the missionary candidate will be shared with medical professionals in the Missionary Department and will help in determining the best assignment opportunities for missionaries.

Undershepherd

Living as I do in small town America, in Zillah WA, population approximately 3239, I along with the rest of our country have read and watched with horror as CA wildfires have consumed, with a vengeance, every thing in it's path.

In reading about many of the devastated areas, the one that grabbed my heart the most was Coffey Park.  It's a little over a thousand people bigger, population-wise at 7312 residents, than my town.

5 days ago the homes destroyed there were numbered at 3500.  That is more homes than the population of my town!

As one headline read...

Coffey Park has been described as a "little slice of the American dream," where a vibrant mix of Latinos, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Indians, and white people lived in modest homes.

I love this description. These were/are single family dwellings, of people desiring to live in peace and work hard to make it and enjoying where they live...including enjoying their Park.

The town name comes from the park...Coffey Park.  Looking below at the map of devastation/destruction...I was touched the Park survived and is still green!!  The Park surviving represents such hope to me.

Coffey Park  Santa Rosa, CA

Population: 7312 residents

Average age: 47 years old

Homeowners: 69%

Coffee Park in the center- red=homes destroyed

Coffey Park still green!

Green are the pastures...inviting.  Hymns keep running through my mind!!

I feed in green pastures; safefolded I rest

The Lord my pasture will prepare...to fertile vales and dewy meads...amid the cooling verdant landscape flow.

Some from the pastures are straying...Green are the pastures inviting; sweet are the waters and still.

In the midst of all of this loss and suffering we offer green pastures!  Small perhaps and rather self-contained individually but enough to help others.  We are the undershepherds.

Make us thy true undershepherds;

Give us a love that is deep.

Out in the desert they wander, 

Hungry and helpless and cold;

Off to the rescue we'll hasten, 

Bringing them back to the fold.