You know that I'm a somewhat reluctant member of FB. I check it and sometimes I check into total strangers lives because they posted something on a person's FB that I do know. Shame on me! That curiosity of mine sometimes wins! Not my fault of course. I'm sooooo innocent!
I was thinking about this because of a recent incident that happened to a friend. She is a Grandma. Her Grandchild is expecting her first child. Revealing, whether it's a boy or girl, was turned into a family party. My friends daughter and husband flew to Utah for the party and all sorts of family on both sides came into town. The arrangement was...when the announcement was made at the party my friend would get a call. She would call me every once in awhile and say...No word yet. Sunday she went to Church and someone congratulated her on going to have a new great granddaughter! They saw it on FB! Now my friend is no spring chicken but she is not a feel sorry for herself weeper either. She's a little banty rooster and she gets mad and tells people so. Uh-oh. Heated phone lines!!!
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When the husband of another friend passed away. One of her granddaughters was with them. My friend started getting calls from her children. Irritated. Mad. Hurt. Why? It was on FB before she had told the family personally. a bit of a hornets nest for awhile.
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For years now some older friends (I should call them peers) and I go out for our birthday lunches. Not a huge group but several. I was surprised at my wonderful birthday party in May and posted a picture on my blog. Another time I posted a picture on FB so my friend could have her picture, with this silly cake that sings a song when activated. I couldn't get it on email with this new system we have so I chose FB. There were those felt left out. both times. Hurt. Wondered why they weren't invited.
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A friend's children had a surprise 80th birthday party for her and it was kept secret. Invite by invitation. Hand delivered if you lived in town. I posted some pictures and there were those wondering why they didn't make the list. Awkward. How would I know? Thoughtless of me to have posted those pics?-- on my blog.
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Now before you get all stuffy and judgy about my friends and me, don't even go there. It's a common problem I'm learning. There are numerous times that I see little barbs like...oh, must have been nice or did you forget to tell me or i had no idea of this. would like to have been included and on and on and on. These are from me reading something that I don't even know the people. (that sounds so wrong!!) Just reading down through comments they pop up without even looking for them.
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for instance. I was on a friends FB and I saw a picture at the SLC Temple. Had so many people grouped on the steps with the big door to the Temple at the top and I thought...What on earth?! No bride or groom all decked out. Just a mass of folks in street clothes. I clicked on it. All sorts of congrats comments and then this....
Was bummed we were not invited
Sorry, ______, we didn't know you would have wanted to be there. Everyone in this picture was in the temple with us. We didn't think to invite others that wouldn't be in the temple. I didn't invite my brothers that wouldn't be in the temple either. Our bad...wasn't trying to hurt feelings.
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Another one was a bunch of young boys having fun sprawled on the floor/furniture/playing games. reminded me of my boys when young. oh, yes. me. click. and I see....Looks like they had fun!
We missed your son
Ya he was pretty disappointed when your son said he couldn't come because he might get hurt.
I didn't know he said that. I'm sorry. I did text you yesterday to invite him. Did you get it?
No I did not.
I'm sorry. I did a group text and invited everyone. But some moms said it came thru funny. I apologize if your son's feelings are hurt. I thought everyone got the text.
(invisible flat line. end of awkward exchange. nosy me slinking off.)
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I love to see wedding pictures/baby pictures/family pictures/vacation pictures and special occasions like plays/sports/proms. all of those sorts of things. Not for real conversations. Just snatches of thoughts. Anyhow FB, from what I understand is a place to share your private life with anyone that can access your spot. I sort of just sneak peeks. I'm a bit more private than FB is intended, maybe a lot more private than that, but I do share my thoughts on life and bare my soul on my blog, it seems. Like entirely! well, pretty much so!
My thoughts and feelings are out there and I feel safe sharing on my blog. My readers (that I love by the way!) are people, in one way or another, who know me...either in person or written word and I feel connected to each one. On my blog I don't self-edit. It feels right to be raw. Now it might not be right to be raw but it feels right anyhow. To be real. So FB-- I'll continue to peek at and occasionally snoop but I will be more sensitive to posting anything that might make someone feel excluded.
On my blog I'll just let it flow, whether the water is smooth sailing or white caps are in my life, and share what I feel to share.
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