Sunday night was the 3rd meeting I've been to, addressing the needs of families with special needs, in our Stake. I can't stop thinking about the challenges that some parents have with children that need special help. Always.
Each time the same thing comes out in comments and conversations and presentations...these parents adore their children. I don't have these types of problems to solve. One thing I do know though is a Mother's heart and the pain she feels when her child is ignored, overlooked, left out, slighted, never included, never chosen and never understood by anyone trying to figure out a way to give the child a chance...A chance to participate in some way in the Gospel setting. It must be heart breaking and there must have been, and maybe still are, buckets of tears shed over this child with special needs.
The Church doesn't need to replace Children's Village or other State programs available but we do need to figure out how to bring these families, yes the entire family, into the Gospel and for all of us to feel comfortable in our Wards and Stakes.
The parents have such compassion and understanding of each other. I'm the outsider looking in but my heart is tender and touched and I want to do what I can to make people feel that their child is not a "nuisance" or "bother" to me. I need to learn, from them, how to do this. How to communicate with the parents and the child. What is appropriate and not offensive.
I have a real irritation in my heart, a nasty spot of judgement, over 2 boys that taunted and teased a boy that was suffering behaviorally. I've been trying to repent but keep holding onto it. Maybe they don't know how to act. Maybe that is a part of what is needed to figure out-- how to explain what some people deal with. (tomorrow I will take my grievance to the Temple and drop it off)
Wouldn't it be loverly if we could know what challenges each of the families deal with and be comfortable in asking how things are going? Show our caring by asking and maybe that interest would make someone feel less alone?
The hardest thing I heard last night was when a Mother quietly told me that Church is horrible for them to go to. They are not included and made to feel bad. Her child is disruptive and she knows it but she also knows what he is dealing with and they are doing all they can to handle him. She said they go because they are afraid not to go and because they know the Church is true.
Some Wards are doing wonderful and some Wards are really oblivious to anyone struggling.
I look forward to seeing what can be done to alleviate this situation and look forward to, at some point, having this dealing with families with special needs not be problematic.
We are all children of God. Aren't we?
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