I joined the Church when I heard they believe in families can be forever. I wanted that. Extremely so! That was why I stopped going to my Baptist Church and left my wonderful Sunday School teacher. She did not believe that idea was Biblical.
I was not longing for anything else. Just that. Families being together forever. The dots were not connected in my mind that it was a package deal. There was no interest on my part in anything else. Just that one personal thing. I didn't even care for the concept of Baptizing for the dead. Those are shocking words to hear...."for the dead".
Joseph Smith. The Book of Mormon. and on and on. Concepts, books and people that were not a part of my desire or need. We already had a Bible. We didn't need another one.
At some point someone told me that belief in one bit of doctrine proved the rest to be true. It was necessary to believe, embrace, accept and gain a testimony of everything. I needed to focus on connecting the dots as I still really wanted that eternal family.
One thing that threw me for a loop was the time that I was taught the heavens are not closed. HUH? The Missionaries taught me that in the Joseph Smith story and I was stunned. I felt somewhat embarrassed and questioned...you believe in that??? The Church believes in that?
Surely we didn't have the doctrinal belief that God communes/connects/communicates with ordinary people. I was quite put off--Perhaps because I had no longing or felt any necessity of such doctrine. I only wanted the family forever part.
Realizing I needed to explore/examine doctrine and gain a testimony, I started on a search. I was blessed, for whatever reason, to realize that anyone that wanted could write a book. Just because a Church member wrote it didn't make it doctrinal. I wanted pure doctrine so I chose pure things to study... The scriptures, anything that was written by someone with experience and Church leadership on a general level. Doctrines of Salvation, Jesus the Christ, Conference talks, commentaries etc. etc. I LOVED learning about the Church.
As much as I read, and was touched with the Spirit as a witness to the truth of what I'd read, I still questioned were they real Apostles? How could I ever find out. And then one day it happened in a very simple way. My testimony of them being Apostles, living Apostles, came about not because of anything they said or did. My testimony locked in from watery gruel to cement, in a very strong way.
Why? Because of a couple of things....who they were/what they were doing when they were called and their willingness to give up all they had worked for. All the education, all the success they were in the midst of. A willingness to just walk away. Straightway. In an instant to become a fisher of men. Just like in the New Testament.
To give up where you want to live. Where and when you want to go. To travel all the time. to leave your home. sometimes your country (bless you, Elder Uchdorft. talk about getting your wings clipped!). Understanding that this calling is for life. Right up to your death with never, ever, the chance of becoming emeritus.
Aging before the eyes of those you serve. Ravaged at times by disease and still being propped up, held up, or whatever to make sure you are at General Conference or wherever you need to be. Dealing with cancer, surgeries and everything human, because as they serve and dedicate their life, they are not transformed. They suffer in the midst of service. Their is no retirement and death is the only release.
Their spouses sometime die and yet they work right on through all those life happenings. The wives must be incredible women. Elder Perry was called in April 1974 and by the next October Conference, the cancer won out in his wife's life. She knew she was dying but wanted him to serve anyhow. Amazing!
Elder Bednar, so young, so caught off guard (as they all seem to be) spoke at a BYU devotional October 2001. At that time he reminisced about his time at BYU and said..."It is clear to me that I likely will never be asked to do so again." October 2004, just 3 years later, he was called as an Apostle!
A lot of these men were just into the swing of their careers. The sheer amount of education and success in the careers of Elder Nelson and Elder Oaks, just those two alone are mind-boggling. Both called on the same day. Members wondering why the call and couldn't they do more for the Church by staying and to continue developing their fields of expertise? A Cardiovascular Surgeon! A justice of the Utah Supreme Court!
Dreams and plans for how many years? how much education and sacrifice to obtain those goals. rising to the pinnacle of success and still growing, moving ahead and then poof!....one phone call. one meeting. and straightway (dictionary- at once, immediately) they shift gears, no looking back and they start their ministry.
From that moment on, every word they say will be as if chiseled in stone. True, they have 6 months to prepare for General Conference talk but once those words are spoken...that is it. no do overs. no take backs. no apologies. no changes. Right out of the chute that expectation is understood.
I now have a testimony that the heavens are indeed open and these chosen servants will be the ones that are used to further the work. Therefore when I'm searching for answers to problems/challenges/adversities in my life, I can research from these Conference talks and I will find what I need and the Holy Ghost will let me know.... there it is. just what you've been looking for.
I appreciate Elder Scott, this super intelligent nuclear power expert, that straightway left all that he'd worked towards and now shares with me, what he's has learned from his own life, and from watching and observing others throughout the world, and most importantly those words directly from the Lord that speak to my heart. Thank you, Elder Scott, for helping me this time!
When he says...."the principles we have discussed are true. They have been tested in the crucible of personal experience." and also "I testify that you have a Heavenly Father who loves you. I witness that the Savior gave His life for your happiness. I know Him. He understands your every need....". I then realize and receive my own witness that he knows what he is talking about and it is truth. And it is for me and my plight at the time.
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