Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Weeping

Life. The cycle of life is never changing and yet is also ever changing.  We can't see very far down the road at times.

Jack, our newborn gr-grandson, is just starting life.

Our daughter Jeanee is living life to her full capacity.

And today...my friend Rose's life came to an end.  I love the individuality of my friends.  They by divine design are uniquely one of a kind...so dear to me and they make my life so rich on so many levels.  Rose marched to her own drummer and was very quiet.  She was a loyal person and caring and giving.  She reached out to those older sometimes forgotten alone and lonely people...sick and needing help and she never stopped her caring until they moved on. 

She had what I would call a quirkiness to her humor.  Sometimes sort of bizarre!  If she felt things might be uncomfortable because of any situation she would say or do or wear something that was rather startling to break the ice.

When chemo took her hair and her 2 sons and husband shaved their heads as a show of support, she took the opportunity to paint faces on the back of all heads for a card! Christmas, I think!  She would deck herself out in a get-up for her chemo treatment to give people a laugh and help them relax.  I was usually startled at what she came up with!

Our friendship was not the kind where we knew all about each other and our past history and even all of the current life happenings.  It seemed to not matter and neither of us evidently felt curious!  She was extremely private.  Our friendship was based on mutual kindness and love and absolute excitement over the Gospel and all that goes with it.  We were both groupies around everything General Conference and always so eager to have it begin and then to talk about what really touched us.  She enjoyed beautiful music and felt it so soothing during her health battles.

She loved the Spanish Branch RS and being the RSP for a long while was joyous to her.  Her last calling was a discussion leader 4th Sunday in RS.  She thought about her lesson all month and enjoyed every minute of it.

We never went to lunch or to any social function together or eagerly planned or attended any type of parties or go to movies or plays.  We did go to the Temple together occasionally.  But we were always in touch in one way or the other.

When I was RSP for a number of years, we had a spate of funerals.  I mean a lot!  She was in a different Ward but she came and helped on every single one.

She would bring me tomatoes from her garden each summer and share fresh shelled walnuts from her parents farm.  A Christmas Poinsettia was gifted at the start of the season.

We would visit about the Gospel and share our testimonies with each other.  I'd send her e-cards and quotes and scriptures as her health worsened and her strength slackened.  She enjoyed cookies and bouquets of floweres.

We understood each other and knew we meant a lot to each other and had a sweet sisterly love and trust in our friendship.

A few days ago, her husband came to the house, with two grocery bags.  One had cherry tomatoes and one some large tomatoes.  He started crying and said...Rose said to pick these and bring them to you.  I understood the gesture.  I asked if he'd like to visit and we sat on the porch.

He told me that she was going to The Cottage in the Meadow a beautiful facility for hospice care.  She was to weak for me to come see her at her house but she had told him to have me come up when she got to The Cottage.

That call came at 9am this morning.  She was in and admitted and he said to go on up.  In my mind I thought we'd visit for a few minutes.  Not so.  When I got there around 10am, I knew her time was rapidly evaporating.  There would be no conversation.  I sat and held her hand.

Her husband felt she had waited until their son came home from college about 8pm last night.  She then plummeted around midnight and all arrangements fell into place.  She insisted she did not want to die at home and she got that desire fulfilled.

Believing she was aware of everything going on and could hear me.  I had the wonderful chance to quietly thank her for her friendship and kindness and goodness to me...how much I had enjoyed our association...if she saw my sister Dixie, to give her my love...that I would miss her quirky personality...and that she would most likely have an entirely different experience with General Conference this year.  I shed tears for her courage and bravery and non-complaining attitude towards such physical trauma with cancer in 3 organs.  I thanked her for that example.

She gave it all she could and surrendered when she knew she needed to move on. She never lost faith and never doubted that the Lord was well aware of what she was dealing with and He was in charge of the outcome.

I kissed her forehead and bid her goodbye.

She was gone a couple of hours later.  She is at peace and out of pain.  I'm glad for her but sad for me that she has moved on.

I count on this scripture being true....

130:2 And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.


6 comments:

Natalie Thompson said...

Nancy, I am so sorry for your temporarily losing such a unique friend. I was deeply touched by your words about her. You have been blessed to have known her here AND she has been blessed to have you as a friend, also. God bless you!

Nancy Seljestad said...

Thank you, Natalie.
She was very spiritual. One year I did a Stake Woman's Conference and it was going to done in a different way (all of us staying in the Chapel for the entire time) It would be long in that one spot. I knew we really needed the Spirit there right away. Rose came to my mind to offer the opening prayer. I knew of her spiritual power in her prayers. It was beautiful and really set the mood for the entire morning.
Today her husband came by and gave me a pin that she wanted me to have. He said two days before she died she told him it was for me. I will try and take a picture (when I figure that out on my phone!) It's a cat hanging on for dear life from a branch. It made me laugh. I know she meant...Hang on!
I'm sure others that I don't know got pins but mine gave me such happiness!
Thanks for reading my blog, Natalie. It means a lot to me1 xoxox

Unknown said...

That’s exactly how I remembered her. Thanks for posting this. Helps me to remember how wonderful and quirky she was.
Teri

Nancy Seljestad said...

Hi Teri!
So great to see your comment. She was a very determined woman on all levels! I was always glad to be included as one of her friends. It's nice to know that we both had the same take on Rose and our appreciation of her strengths.

(I do my blog to share my feelings about life and about the Gospel and my feelings and involment in it but....I don't tell people I do it! I hidey-hole it away. So I have a ways to go in spreading the news! I welcome you!)

Anonymous said...

I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. ❤️ What a beautiful tribute you wrote here!
Love you!

Nancy Seljestad said...

Thank you Linda, for your kind words and for our friendship! xoxox