A great visit....

Children and grandchildren and great grandchildren are such amazing people in any family.  We just had a dose of grands and greats!  This is a fuzzy copy of a photo shoot by my daughter, Jeanee James.

Kip and Kai....Ava and Kim (Grandson and sweet family!)

Seems you never know how fast these people will enter your life.  With Jeanee's girls, being here every single summer, I had several granddaughter things on hand for Tea Parties.  Some great dress up clothing including fancy hats.  At some point, in one of my wild downsizing feats, I shared those goodies with others as that era was over.  or so I thought!  And then...up pops a sweet great-gran...and I have nothing for her to dress up in.  I ended up last year in replenishing one thing...a gorgeous gown!  Thank you Value Village and my senior discount with another discount on top of that and a very few dollars later... I have a scrumptious dress for a little queen!  She loved it!

Miss Ava- in her bejeweled lacy finery!  Scarf at waist is not so swift to look at!!

I wore a flowered sunhat to the event!

Note the tea party rose plate to left but he just did Legos- no party!

Ava & Gramps & Kai

Kai & Ava & Cappa

Kai & Ava & Cappa

Ava & Kai & Grams (glasses I gave them)

Summer is happening...

Family here tomorrow and then I'm heading to ID to see Dixie.  My plate feels full to overflowing right now.  I will check in before I head to Dixie's.  So looking forward to seeing little ones!

A book to buy....

good morning...moving ahead on figuring accessing Grace so nothing more to share on that at this time.  Just reading and studying and listening to the Spirit.  Isn't that what all of us do???

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Several years ago we served in the YSA as Terry was called as 1st Counselor in the Branch Presidency.  It was fun to watch some fall in love and end up going to the Temple.  Aaron and Teresa were one such couple.  They are outstanding people and young parents to their 5 little boys.  He recommends this book and I share it with you.  I like his idea of going through it once a year.  He said he bought the book on Amazon for around $16

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Please educate your children about PORNOGRAPHY because it's everywhere. This is an amazing book that has nine very short lessons for kids. It provides a realistic storyline that helps your children know what pornography is and how it literally, physically effects their brains. After the second lesson, my nine year old shared how another boy at school showed an inappropriate picture to him. "Prevention is better than a cure." I would say you can adjust the lessons for kids 5 years old and older. It even taught me some things I didn't know.

riding the rails

I've endured the taunts and teasing of TheHubster and SonnyBoy, from taking that Rx for having my teeth cleaned and two small fillings but I did survive and that front tooth is no longer jack-o-lantern like!!  so thankful!  Next...extraction/pulling/yanking of two wisdom teeth.  last two left in this gabby mouth!  I'll do more than take a white Rx pill for that!  Full blown knock-out/asleep for those two barbarous feats is my chicken-hearted plan!  Ugh!

Enjoying my quest for figuring out the accessing of Grace in overcoming personal weaknesses.  Last night I read my patriarchal blessing and read the blessings that I long for and have not yet realized.  Please don't tell me that some patriarchal blessings don't come to pass until next life.  I know that but I also know the items I listed as I read through are for the now...if I can figure out how to improve myself and align myself in readiness.  Much like the tumbler on a safe or a combination lock.  things have to be in alignment to make it click.  to have the perfect fit of desire and promised blessings actually come to pass.  Will I share my list?  No.  It's a part of my patriarchal blessing and we don't share those sacred documents.  Again...we all heard the same pre-earth plan and blessings are about our part in the plan so it's not something that others don't already have or are doing.  I want my share!

My heart is still drawn to Elder Holland's address.  the last talk of the Conference.  Here are just a couple of thoughts he shared that have really made me think and that fit with my treasure hunt.

I am strengthened and encouraged by all of the talk but these few things are really making me think this morning.  The Atonement is there as the base for individual improvement.  I LOVE that we get...Credit for trying...we can improve.  I'm also linking Alma to using Grace by calling out.  That is what I'm needing to learn.  The calling out...the summoning His strength.

Snippets of Elder Hollands talk....

“[Lucifer] knows he can’t improve, he can’t progress, that worlds without end he will never have a bright tomorrow. He is a miserable man bound by eternal limitations, and he wants you to be miserable, too. Well, don’t fall for that. With the gift of the Atonement and the strength of heaven to help us, we can improve, and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed.”
Remember, the Lord blesses those who want to improve, who accept the need for commandments and try to keep them, who cherish Christ-like virtues and strive to acquire them.
“If you stumble in that pursuit, so does everyone; the Savior is there to help you keep going,” he said. “If you fall, summon His strength. ... Call out like Alma, “O Jesus, … have mercy on me.”⁷ He will help you get back up. He will help you repent, repair, fix whatever you have to fix, and keep going. Soon enough you will have the success you seek.

My jotting notes is starting to be scattered.  Notes of trying to tie the Atonement/Grace workings together to be easily understood by my mind.  I need to pull them together.  That is why I made that list of desired blessings from my Patriarchal blessing.  I will go to temple tomorrow and pray and ponder if I'm on the right track.  Hope I don't hit a dead end but just wide open rails to zip along.

The search...

My church membership has been such an interesting journey to me.  I feel like joining brought with it an opportunity to grow and learn on so many levels...about God, about others and that includes myself.

Sometimes I feel like I am sorting through a 5 gallon bucket of Lego's, to get the object built, that I'm desiring.  Desiring to either become a certain way or understand a doctrine and incorporate it in my life.

Sometimes I feel like I have all the pieces to a circular puzzle which is shaded with one muted color and no particular details outstanding and yet each an intricate necessary part of the whole.

Mostly I feel the challenges of life, and the blessings of life, and the security of life and everything of life is found right here in my Gospel membership.

Plus I always believe that we all have to learn the same thing as we were all at the meeting when The Plan was presented and accepted by each of us.

I love to learn and grow in the gospel. 

All of that being said...you know that I'm on a quest and right now I'm focusing on the doctrine of Grace.  I feel the need for that enabling power and am trying to figure out how to access it.  I have confidence this is possible as I remember the desire I had to grow in prayer.  First I had to learn to pray and then when prayers were suggested (private/family/blessing food etc. etc.) and then how to access God through prayer.  I wanted to hear back...to have confidence I was heard and then to recognize answers which then led me into desire of the Holy Ghost and taking that learning journey.

It's like I learn the basics and then desire to figure out how to take full advantage of what is available...full advantage as far as where I am at any given point.  When I get used to that, so to speak, at some point I want/need more. 

So I never know all there is to know about anything but I know enough to enjoy what I have...until...I want/need more!

Skeletal sketch....extremely skeletal... like bare bones!
Grace is tied in with the Atonement.  Perhaps it is the Atonement?
The Atonement has 2 Sections. 
Section 1-Resurrection...freely given.
Section 2- Part A: gift of being able to be forgiven of sins through repentance. 
                 Part B: an invitation of sufficient grace, sufficient enabling power, to overcome personal    
                             weaknesses.

Section 2.  Part B.  that is what I want in my life.  that is what I'm figuring out. 

Those are just my thoughts and feelings.  I won't flesh this out with what I've been reading in manuals and talks but now you know the bare bones (sorry.  it just popped out!)  I'm almost ready to start reading some of the books I have in a pile!!

In the meantime...mortality moves along with challenges like all are prone to.  today we are celebrating a full nights sleep  for the first time in a month!  (it seems like a year!)  I did share that Terry fell into the piano and broke 2 ribs...went to ER after the fact...lots of pain in stomach etc. etc. and well, you get the picture.  lots of challenging misery but there is light at the end of this tunnel and we are thankful for that. 

Thankful for the Gospel, our testimonies, and General Conference that was so grand on so many levels.

Me being brave...going to Dentist today.  Yes...I have anxiety Rx to take prior to entering torture chamber. Son, will take his decrepit old Mum, who is having her teeth cleaned and 2 fillings (one for chipped tooth and then a small cavity, on a tooth that has had a root canal already so it won't hurt!)  Coward of the year award...drum-roll....me!!!!

Happy for belief in CR talks!

So the talks are available and I went to Elder Hollands as there was so much info that went right along with my goal of gaining understanding and growing spiritually on some specific levels.  I thought ...well, I'll just copy a few things that really hit me hard and it was practically the entire talk!

I read it three times and I'll just need to sleep on it and digest it.  I felt encouraged and excited and on course for myself.  I felt hopeful and eager and curious.

So much going through my mind.  I can hardly wait to check my notes and look up things in some of the other talks.

Wasn't this a fantastic spiritual experience on this Conference?

Elder Holland had my full attention when right off he referred to the scripture that I had shared earlier in the week.  here

Oh, yes...my ears were perked up mightily!  and yes...my heart was racing!!

in part...

The author of Hebrews warned us of this when he wrote, “Call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions.”¹ That post-illumination affliction can come in many ways, and it can come to all of us. Surely every missionary who has ever served soon realized that life in the field wasn’t going to be quite like the rarefied atmosphere of the missionary training center. So too for all of us upon leaving a sweet session in the temple or concluding a particularly spiritual sacrament meeting.

Eager to read talks!

General Conference was superb!!!  I'm still in awe!!  I can hardly wait for it to be available to read so I can mark some of the most inspiring statements that really touched my heart.

The first one I will read and mark will be the last talk!  Elder Holland!!  He really had my full attention when he opened his talk, with reference to that scripture, that I just posted on my blog....

Hebrews 10:32 But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions...

   
....I knew I was in for learning some things for me personally.  I've listened to it 3 times now and got teary each time.  My understanding grew of being on the right quest for increased spiritual growth, and that was just with listening, so I can hardly wait to really dig into it.

It will be a pleasure to search through all the talks and find guidance for my desired growth.

The Church is so true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing!!!!

Watched all of it and enjoyed every single minute!!  So inspiring and comforting!!  So thankful for General Conference and double thankful for my testimony. I don't doubt they are Apostles and Prophets!! 

The excavation...

When I was a school girl my grades were always "A's".  Tests were fun and I breezed through them with understanding.  It was enjoyable to me.  At some point in grade school, I remember taking a test and coming up against a section that I did not know what they were talking about.  I checked it over and sort of figure out what they were looking for.  It was an English test and I loved all things about language and punctuation and grammar and diagramming sentences ...the whole 9 yards. 

So I figured out how to get the correct answers without understanding what I was doing.  I have no idea to this day how old I was or what grade I was in but I distinctly remember feeling sort of lost.  well, not sorta but really lost.

I'm thinking my quest for picking my spiritual life up in different areas is reminiscent of my school experience.  I have surely missed something.  In this instance, I know the basics BUT I don't know how to apply it.  I don't understand how to make the doctrine of grace work in my life.

I am enjoying digging in and researching and have a small pile of books that I'm ready to devour.  Some are old to me and some are new to me.  I don't usually buy religious books, even LDS.  I enjoy CR and commentaries etc. and manuals and stuff that sounds boring but tastes delicious to my soul.

Somehow or other I'm missing a link on application of Grace.  I will be happy when I hit pay-dirt.  When I can shout out BINGO!  Very interesting that word should pop into my mind.  I did not enjoy the feel of everyone doing that #Hallelujah for Easter.  (link here)  I was surprised the Church put it out there and equally surprised with the amount of Hallelujah's and Amen's that popped up on FB.  I felt ill at ease and out of my comfort zone.

I puzzled over that.  But in our Church vocabulary it just seems so evangelical.  I revert to hearing Sunday sermons from my girlhood and my altar-calling Baptist Preacher,  in his loud voice, ringing out....shouting out...Hallelujah!!  Praise Jesus!!  Can I hear an Amen??!!  Give us Your Grace, Jesus!   

Maybe that has been my stumbling block?  Grace is not a word that we hear from the pulpit in our Sacrament talks.  We don't sprinkle it in our conversation or testimonies as easily as we do Prayer... Joseph Smith...the Savior...Restoration...Prophets etc. etc.

Strange-- I'm at ease and comfort and pure enjoyment of hearing. even participating in, The Messiah by Handel.... one of my favorite songs is Hallelujah!  I'm comfortable in singing or hearing it sung but not using it as a part of speaking?  Maybe.

I have never borne my testimony about Grace.  I guess because I can easily explain what it is, and have done so in teaching classes, in a very concise accurate simple description backed up by the BD...but I have no spiritual experience with this doctrine to bear my testimony about.  And maybe I've not really thought of it as doctrine?  It is.

Vernacular.  Do I have some resistance to embracing old words from Christianity and bringing them into my/the true religion that is mine to love and enjoy?  Maybe.  Am I fearful of such a shift?  Maybe.

So I have to raise my comfort level with understanding Grace and in that elevation, increase and actually use and incorporate this doctrine in my life, to where I can bear testimony of it's existence in my life and the blessing it is to me.  I want that. 

I'm on board and working hard at expanding my knowledge, receiving personal revelation and embracing a new level of spiritual understanding.  I am excited!!

Conference will be so revelatory to all of us.  Are you ready for it?

Your Questions??

"As you prepare for general conference, I invite you to ponder questions you need to have answered. … There are messages in each general conference given as a gift and a blessing from heaven specifically for our personal life situations."

- President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

prepare yourself for General Conference here