Last hours of 2015

I have caught myself off guard by being super happy/excited, even joyful, just contemplating this wonderful new year!  I can't remember when I've felt so joyful over a turn of the last calendar page!!

This new year is one I'm longing for and looking forward to embracing- with a newness of life approach.

That being said...we had Chinese food tonight and I couldn't read the fortune in my cookie because I didn't have reading glasses on...passed it to my son and he said...oh, Mom this is really for you!  He then read...Stay Healthy. Walk a mile.

All 3 of us laughed (did Terry laugh sort of to loud???).

I said...What does it really say?

He said...Mom, that is really what it says!

and it was there!  in black and white  ...STAY HEALTHY. WALK A MILE.  

Who on earth, gets a fortune cookie fortune on New Years Eve like that???!!!  I do!  I did!

I'm going to try and put a picture on so you can see it!

(no luck with that attempt!)

Fate?  Karma?  Coincidence on New Years Eve with goal planning running rampant?  something in the air?

Whatever it is...tomorrow I get a new lease on life.  My life.  Auntie Mame-like...I'm going to live darling!!  LIVE!

Talk time. My turn.

10 days or so ago, the Bishop called and asked me to speak on the last Sunday of the month.  I thought it would be goals or the likes, instead of the subject-- Endurance!  Enduring to the end! and using the October 2007 Conference talk by Elder Uchtdorf entitled- Have We Not Reason to Rejoice?  I found that humorous to couple enduring with rejoicing.  Enduring to the end of mortality and cover it in 10 and up to 15 minutes!  Volumes have been written about this, as it's the entire purpose of life, to endure with grace and dignity, to the end of each life experience until life is over.  (I felt I could just put the Scriptures on the stand, along with referencing all CR reports and people would have the subject info available and could know what they could/should do.)  It seemed an overwhelming topic.  (Probably because it is!)

I finally just went super simple and pared it down.  I was as ready as I could be and even at that was deleting-- to end up with bare bones.  Even with all of that butchering...it was to much talk for to little time!  My talk time was slowly devoured by others in their talks.  I was last on the program and it boiled down to a few minutes.  I tried to pare it back the best I could.

Was it jumbled/fumbled and sort of scattered/confusing?  Probably.  Afterwards the Bishop said...You said you'd share 6 items.  You did 5.  What was the 6th?  and I said...music.  Turns out that was a lie.  When I was emptying my Church bag and looked at all the chicken scratches, on my one page of notes, I realized my error.  I'm still trying to figure out the order on my messy notes, of the order of the 6 steps I wanted to share, that I use for helping me with enduring beyond the Basic 6 steps in the Church like Prayer etc.  Probably totally confusing to you.  That was my mindset...scattered and yes--confused whilst talking!!!

I think, from now on, I will always write a Reader's Digest version of any talk I'm ever asked to give.  I could have pulled it out today...made my point...and sat down.  Next time...in a year or so!  Seriously.  I am going to do that.  Always.

The previous speaker was great and inspiring.  I would have had no problem if they'd canceled mine as she was so prepared.  Well thought-out and personal.  Music.  Stories.  Plus she was a former Laurel of mine, many years ago, so I love her!

I enjoyed Church today, so much, even if I was caught off guard!

Are you a time stickler on talk time? 

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Is anyone excited about a New Year?  I really am!  It's going to be the greatest ever!!

The season!

I did not get lost in space, just lost in time. 

So...first of all my sister is gaining strength!  She is able to do more things in her quest for independence, even though the Dr. tells her she will not be able to do that very deed!  She admits that she knows the happenings and eventual outcome but she is still going to do as much for herself as she can. 

Note to Natalie:  That is amazing the coincidence of your daughter's wedding reception being in the back yard of our current Yakima Mission President's Utah home.  To think they are special friends!  Truly a small world.  (Natalie left a comment a couple of blogs back.  She and Dixie are the same age and were cheerleaders in high school for all 4 years)

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A totally different Christmas for us this year but before I get to Christmas I just have to say how much I love Christmas music, especially sacred music.  I went to a couple of concerts and the highlight of the local Community Choir?-- one of my Laurels, Sophie, was the Special Guest Soloist.  She was outstanding!!  Standout of that evening for sure!

As far as Choir experiences- the highlight of all the Christmas music I listened to, was the Selah Stake Christmas Concert.  It was by far the absolute best Church Concert I've ever heard!!  (and I've heard a lot of them!!) 

The Chapel has several ledges up near the Choir seats, by organ, by piano, across front, Sacrament table...you get the drift.  So they garlanded across the front and then they had a bank of poinsettias on all of those ledges.  Costco purchased the oversize ones and the regular sized ones and it was just a gorgeous bank of flowers.  The 45+ voice choir wore black skirts/pants- white blouses/shirts and a red scarf for the women.  They removed several of the front pews and had an orchestra of probably 25, all dressed in formal black.  everything was costumed to color perfection right down to 40? young girls, 8-9?, all dressed in white dresses.  And a youth choir and on and on and on.  The most outstanding singing ever!!  Best Program outline I've ever seen!

The director was just amazing.  I happened to be sitting where I could see her and that music direction just streamed through her fingers with such power!  She was like a dancer!  She was just making magic happen and when they got into the 3 Messiah songs, there were times that I just felt enveloped in this beautiful roaring swell and wondered if that was the sound of the angels when Christ was born.  It was sheer heaven!!  Sigh.

True it's over and done but that memory is so vivid that I feel that beauty again in the telling.

Tears rolled down my cheeks for sure. 

Plus I love the Messiah music!  (I will tell you about my Choir experience with it.  real soon!)

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Do you regift? My Grandmother Clark did. 

She enjoyed using her dictionary.  It was wearing out with dog-eared pages and tears and straight pins holding pages in place- etc.  Plus her eyesight wasn't very good. 

My Mother decided to find her the perfect dictionary with large print.  After lots of shopping she found the ideal dictionary for Grandmother.  She glued a piece of fabric, about 4" wide, inside the cover, over the front & back spine area, so it wouldn't tear.  As I recall the book was about 6 inches deep and probably 12"x14".  it was very heavy.  Huge!

I was in Alaska and my Mother in Idaho and my Grandmother was in Missouri.  My Mother told me about finding the perfect dictionary for her and that she had mailed it off for Christmas.

I eventually saw it, with my own eyes, when it arrived in my mailbox, from my Grandmother, with a note...Emogene gave me this and I don't want it as I already have a good dictionary. 

My Mother was not pleased with Grandmothers generosity.

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So all month long we listened to Christmas music.  We had no trappings of Christmas it seemed.  Things already looked a bit bare because we hadn't put things back after the paint job as we thought we'd  put out Christmas.  Then we couldn't get to things.  Then we couldn't get things out that we could get to!  We knew that we'd not put out our big tree that we love.  We knew that we'd given the Christmas houses away.  We knew we had a big box of Nativities ...somewhere.  We knew the garland for over the mirror was behind a stationary bike. We also knew we had garlands that we love and we did know where one of the 2 boxes was!  So there you go...the majority of excuses on why we didn't decorate.  Oh, and we gave our outdoor/McCall tree to Goodwill as it had some branches that needed mending and a some problems with lights.

Then Terry saw our big huge wreath so that got hung.  Then Jeanee got 3 garlands and put them out. On top of things...not hung because we took hooks down when painting was done.  Then I brought out my lone Nativity that I keep in my office and also moved our favorite village house on piano with garland.

We started really missing a tree.  So we bought a beautiful overpriced 4.5' tree from Hobby Lobby.  Truly it was gorgeous.  On the 20th we confessed to each other that we liked big trees and this was to small even sitting on a plant stand.  So...I took it back!  Looked at the others and just left.

I just didn't want to buck the traffic, weather and shoppers looking for a tree so we opted for placing a poinsettia gift and put a tree skirt there and some white beads.  Festive but not a tree!

My tree for NEXT year will be here on Tuesday!  it's a steal of a deal.  free shipping and it's 7' tall and has lights on it!  We are ready!!...for 2016.  we weren't ready for 2015.  This new tree only weighs 20 pounds!!  our other tree (that we have loved for years!) weighs a ton and is in a hugh box. 

So....next year we will enjoy a big tree.  I learned from this experience that there are certain things that you just flat out enjoy and that it really contributes to the Christmas feeling...the Christmas spirit in your home because it just makes you happy.  Cozy.  comfy.  reminiscent mood. 

We found that we enjoy a garland over the mirror and other garlands, the nativity sets, at least one Christmas house and a really big tree.  Next year will be wonderful when all of that happens!! 

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I hope your Christmas was wonderful!!  No matter what is happening or not happening with ornaments etc...really, what does matter is the fact that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and that is the greatest of all things to think about and enjoy!

Life...

So I have a new set-up and I'm so in hopes that all my tech problems are over.  I am below low-tech...I am no-tech.  I am at the mercy of computers and if a human is needed to answer questions in what to me is Computery- a foreign language- then I have to take advantage of my son and ask so many questions, that he finally just comes over and fixes whatever.  This time it involved buying a new outfit, and I don't mean clothes, an All in One (supposedly trouble free.  time will tell on that!)

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Today a friend's Mother unexpectedly died.  My heart goes out to her and her sweet little family.  I remember when my Daddy died (yes.  I called him Daddy all my life).  I was at the hospital and realizing that this was the first time I'd lost a family member and I was now in the Church.  I wondered if it would hold true.  If I would survive it.  How it would feel.  Would the Gospel really hold up and hold me up to be able to endure such a loss?  Yes...it did all I'd hoped and more.  I felt comforted and all of the scriptures and things I'd studied about death really held firm and I was thankful, so thankful for the Gospel.

One year in our life we had a family event just filled with heartache and tragedy.  It was one of those...how can I possible bear this?...situations.  Someone commented that it was a shame to have this happening during the Christmas season...to mar it.  I told them this was the best time to have heartache and sorrow because everywhere I look I see Christmas lights and I hear Christmas Carols and I see wonderful Christmas programs.  I feel the Spirit as I see these tangible items and driving by houses of strangers or walking through commercial stores...lights everywhere.  I am the Light of the world, He said.  He is my light and He is your light and He is Julianna's light and she has great faith that will sustain her through the days ahead.

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When my turn to leave this earth arrives...I hope my friends and family will remember...

Written by Henry Scott Holland-- (27 January 1847 – 17 March 1918) He was Regius Professor of Divinity at the University of Oxford

What a great opportunity!

Holding my breath to see if this is actually going to work and allow me to do my blog and send/receive email!!  Have a new setup and after practically pulling my hair and screeching in frustration...here we go!! 

This is just a quick post because I want to get it out pronto!  It's an opportunity for all of us to do a little Christmas gifting!  In July the Washington Yakima Mission was formed.  I read the blog of the MP's wife...Anne Lewis.  Anne is from Utah and knows Wendy, a friend of mine- from Zillah who now lives in Utah, where she met Anne before her Mission call.  Are you with me?...Anyhow on the Mission blog she showed all the Christmas mail that had come in...mounds and stacks all over the place!  Then later she posted Missionaries standing by the piles of packages.  It really hit me...what if, for whatever reason, some missionaries or even one missionary, had no packages!! 

I contacted Sister Lewis (Anne) and asked that question.  There are 5 with no Christmas mail/packages.  The Mission home will put together something for them BUT you and I can add to those boxes!!  You can drop socks or ties or candy treats or gloves or whatever you feel would be nice for the 4 Elders.  She said a card with an encouraging note would be so welcome. (Address at end.)

In this mix of 5 their is one Sister!  She has never received a letter or email or package since she came on her Mission.  She is new to the Mission field.  36 years old.  was adopted at some point by her 80 year old Grandma.  She was preparing herself to be a nun and a year or so ago, the missionaries taught and baptized her.  She has no one else that is LDS.  The picture Sister Lewis sent me...she looks so sweet.  (I'll see if I can share that with you)  She looks like she wears jewel tones and not pastels.  She was wearing cardigans/scarves.  Sister Lewis says size XL would work.

You can drop something off for her, if you want, when you maybe give a treat to the 4 Elders for their Mission Office boxes.

This is also the mailing address for those of you out of State.

Yakima Mission Office
1006 S. 16th Ave.
Yakima WA 98902

Sister Lewis said I could email her and Sister Call (works in Mission office.  hubby counselor??) said you can too!!

Desiree.Danger@myldsmail.net

Let's support Sister Danger on her Mission!!!

just a portion of the packages...

I can't stand for someone to not receive a gift!!!  Look how happy this Elder is!!

Family Time

Today was testimony meeting and I enjoyed each personal heartfelt expression.  My heart was full but I didn't share.  I'm still absorbing all that has happened in the last week with Dixie.  I said a private prayer and told the Lord that I hoped He didn't think I was ungrateful for not sharing my gratitude.  

My emotions are tender right now.  I have a son that suffers emotionally, from time to time, and when he dips down it tugs at my heartstrings.  I was thinking today of how I've had to learn to adjust my thinking in how I deal with his malady.  When people ride that up and down emotional roller coaster, bystanders sometimes want to hop on board....in hopes they can help in some way.  As a co-dependent (uh...could we make that a recovering Co-D?), I, of course, have wanted to alleviate suffering and solve problems and make things all better. 

Life isn't that way.  We can encourage and support but we can't fix people's mood swings.  Sometimes we are told that we are the cause of the suffering.  I can't tell you the many times I've apologized, for things not really as stated but finally I realized that mental problems can't be allowed to take more victims than the sufferer.  For ages I hopped on that roller coaster with a terrorizing ride going on...put my life on hold...until life had returned to normal.  I basically stopped living until all ruffled feathers were smoothed out.

I don't react that way now.  I realize he suffers and as a Mother, or just a human being, I so want to soothe his pain.  All I can do is offer unconditional love towards him.  AND...a healthy private dose of that balm for myself!

My heart goes out for those suffering from any form of mental stress/illness from depression to bi-polar and the full gamut of degrees of insanity...momentary or long-term.  Equally my heart goes out to those bystanders, that love these people that suffer, and are so wounded themselves in watching their mental agony and pain.

Life is to learn from and this segment of learning is hard-core!

So that is one peek at my challenge right now BUT on the flip-side...my daughter is here and finished painting the living room.  She did find a few spots to touch up and the door needs another coat.  getting the living room carpet/couch/chairs cleaned tomorrow.  It seems strange to have Christmas so close at hand and no tree up etc. but until we get the tasks at hands done...not on list!  This is not the time she was planning on coming out so that is why it's being done now and not January or spring! What we will do this year decoration wise, most likely, is put up garlands.  I love garlands!

My heart is filled with gratitude for Dixie's health improvement!  I feel a tenderness towards the Savior and this marvelous/magical time of year when Christmas is in the air and everywhere!  My heart is filled with thankfulness for friends that care about me and love me.  That includes you wonderful blog readers!

When the dust settles and things are back in some sort of order furniture-wise....We will put up a folding table in dining room for Jeanee to work on an art project, or maybe she will just use our dining room table...she will do her art and I will bake and cook some food for us to enjoy.  I'm going to make that gumbo I mentioned before and also that lentil soup.  We have a lot of living and memories to make and things to do between now and the 11th, when she leaves.  I may be scarce blog-wise until she leaves.  Depends on our projects!

My testimony is certain and I'm just beyond thankful for the ability to feel the Spirit and to know God is in charge of everything.  How comforting that thought/belief is!

A good morning to you!

Dixie continues to get stronger, and more determined to be independent and not require help 24/7.  Nothing stronger than a determined woman!

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Our children are so good to us.  Compassionate/kind/giving/generous.  Jeanee decided that instead of listening to my constantly talking, about the need to paint the living room, that she'd just do it!  She is a little hurricane and somewhat like an Edward Scissorhands, when she makes up her mind.  My own little windmill!  Kip came over and eagerly jumped on board.  To have 2 happy adult children and 2 happy parents in the same relatively small room just fills the room with Christmas joy!  Terry put on an old Christmas CD, with long ago favorites, and when I'll be Home for Christmas lyrics filled the room...I got teary and Jeanee got teary and at the same time Kipper said that is to intense and we turned it off!  

Christmas has arrived early this year...Dixie's miracle (long term or short term- we are thankful and happy and enjoying every moment!)  and to have our daughter here (until the 11th!!!)  We will just hole up and make the most of having 2 children here!!!

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Celise and Jenny- I was reading about Sister Oaks and her new book.  I think it might be great to add it to your library.  Actually...for all of us!  (I didn't know she has a blog!)

Here is a part of what I read from a recent interview-

You recently came out with a new children’s book, My Home Can Be a Holy Place. What inspired you to write it? What message do you hope people will take from it?
The idea for the book has weighed heavily on me for the last three years. I want so much for the young parents in Zion to prepare and protect their precious children, the future of our church. I hope people will realize (1) by relatively small, consistent holy acts we can achieve a sanctuary for our family, and (2) that children—properly taught—have a magnificent capacity to help make their homes holy.

You also have a new blog,homecanbeaholyplace.com. What is its purpose? What can readers expect to find there?
I have tried to listen to prophets who have told us to share our testimonies with the world. The purpose of my blog is to extend the ideas in my book into real life practice in the lives of members. I’m gathering ideas from a variety of LDS parents on how they make their homes a sacred sanctuary against the ever-increasing evil in the world. The stories, activities, reading suggestions, and other resources on the blog provide ideas and inspiration that can help others make their homes places of joy, safety, and refuge.

In addition, there are reading suggestions, recipes, music, and links to relevant Church talks. I invite everyone to contribute suggestions that have blessed their homes.

Is there something not many members of the Church know about you?
I am essentially a convert to this Church, and I can testify to the great power of our Heavenly Father to bless our lives, our homes, and our families if we are obedient to His commandments. Life under the gospel plan is true happiness.

Is there anything else you would like to share with LDS Living readers?
We have such a sacred privilege and responsibility as members of this Church to serve our Savior, Jesus Christ. Remember: “The first duty pertaining to the training of the children of the Church belongs in the home. It is the responsibility of the parents to bring them up in light and truth…”(Joseph Fielding Smith, page 206, Teachings of the Prophets.), and that “only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness” (Bible Dictionary). We have a daunting charge to be valiant, and I am so thrilled to be part of it.

I pray for the success of all of us—we are all in this together.

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Read more from Sister Oaks in her new children's book, My Home Can Be a Holy Place, available at deseretbook.com.

In the midst of a miracle...

What a privilege it is to watch a miracle unfold right before your eyes!  Hour by hour!  Even with all that you see, as rock solid evidence that something miraculous is happening, your mind has difficulty believing that everything is real!!  Nothing like a picture to prove my point. We left the day after Thanksgiving, on a Friday and returned home yesterday on a Thursday.  So in that 6 day time-frame  I saw her go from this...

Friday evening arrival

I just crawled into bed with her and she poured out her heart.  Jeanee took a sneak picture and I'm now glad she did. Dixie was telling me of her ER ordeal and how she wouldn't sign for hospice as it didn't feel right to her for this time...someday the time would be right but not now.

So that was a bit of a mix-up as all of that had to be straightened out paper-work wise.  My niece was there and she handled all of that and I just focused on Dixie.  You know that she and I go on a yearly sister trip so we had a house-bound sister trip.  Plus she had her own angel, my darling daughter, that she loves so much.  Dixie has flown to Florida, in the past, to spend time with Jeanee.  So the 3 of us love to be together.

She hadn't been eating and drinking but when we arrived her food-fest appetite returned.  She said she felt like she was eating her "last meal" as she requested Jeanee to make spaghetti and then it just escalated with her favorite meal requests.  Artichokes & king crab!!??  We laughed and visited and heard her whisper voice get stronger and stronger.

We reminisced over shared memories.  I read a letter from our mutual Alaskan high-school friend, Natalie, and we both had tears over her words.  (She and Dixie were cheerleaders all 4 years of high-school.  She sends her love and thanks, Natalie)  and we looked at endless recipe books!!  She collects recipe books and marks them with sticky notes.  She pretty much never cooks any of them but she marks dozens.

I took other pictures but can't figure out this new computer yet.  I copied the two pictures shared today!  I'll share mine later.

Sometimes in life you have to see something to believe it!!  plus you can't find words to express it!  That is how these last few days have been!  At first I did feel that she wouldn't live long.  I even wondered if she would die while I was there.  I spent one night crying about who-knows-what.  Thinking of missing her and then thinking of us singing a duo in the Baptist Church as girls- In the Garden.  The lyrics ran through my mind. I thought about our parents.  I thought about our Grandmother Clark...our Aunt Bonnie.  My mind flitted around and it was a sleepless teary night.

And then I saw her get stronger and more alive and more positive and it was so amazing!  Why on earth I didn't write down what I saw??!!  I do not know!!  Miracles all over the place!

It's winter storms right now and we never travel after Halloween.  And I stopped flying a few years back.  Miracle of miracles...my son-in-law, Scott wanted Jeanee to fly out and drive me over!!  And there was the miracle of the weather.  A one day opportunity that the storms ceased, the roads were great and we breezed along.  Same thing returning home!  One day clear, with storms coming in from both sides, and this lovely swath of a lane for our travel.  Fantastic!

I have to plug friendship...a best friend of mine offered us her sturdy vehicle, that would be better than my car, in inclement weather.  People are so kind and so good...Checking on Terry and dropping off food, including delicious banana bread last night!  I'm overwhelmed with the kindness of people.  So the weather coming and going was a miracle.

When we arrived Dixie's eyes had that cloudy look, when we left they were bright and alive looking.  Yes...she is still on oxygen 24/7.  Yes...she is limited in her walking ability as her oxygen level plummets.  Yes...she still requires 24/7 care.  BUT...she is getting stronger and more determined and she ended up happy and joyous.  Yes...she still has Interstitial lung disease  but she has been blessed with an extension perhaps?  a little reprieve?  she really wants to be independent again and not have 24/7 care.  She is fighting to bring that about.  Yesterday she got a motorized wheelchair and she is happy about that.  We have planned our next get-together for April 21.  Jeanee will fly in from Florida and I'll drive over.

I got my original desire...one last time of hugging her and visiting with her and laughing and sharing our hearts.  IF she should die anytime soon...I will have this most marvelous stupedous glorious memory...ever!  She said this visit surpassed any other we've had.  In part because Jeanee was there and they have such a speciallness in their Aunty/Niece relationship.

Thank you for your prayers and love!