Stuff doesn't really matter!

My mind and heart are full of so many thoughts and recent experiences I want to share but today I will share one that is foremost on my mind.  Marriage.  My marriage.  My very long marriage!  55 years!  Gulp!  That is a mighty long time to spend with one fellow and he might be thinking the same thought about being with one gal!!  He being kind, and knowing which side his bread (homemade) is buttered on, best just give me a hug!  and a smooch!

The celebration of such a feat started off with a brief incident the day before- that didn't catch me off guard...He, the hero, forgot the upcoming date until our son reminded him by asking... what are you doing to celebrate?  He said...celebrate what?  Son said...Dad!  You forgot?!! 

A few decades back this would have possibly reduced me to tears or a pout of my ruby lips.  Maybe a cold shoulder.  Maybe I'd be incensed that I had gift wrapped and hidden a carefully picked shirt that was the perfect color and style for him and maybe he would have no gift.  Or maybe he would give me Mel-mac mixing bowls instead of perfume or flowers or something romantic...Romantic to me.  Bowls were romantic to him. 

Actually all those shirts and bowls and flowers and perfume and material gifts are just stuff.  Stuff does not make a marriage.  A lot of emphasis is put on stuff.  Even keeping calendar dates in your head and expecting your spouse to do the same is just more stuff.  Feeling emotional about someone forgetting a date doesn't mean the marriage is over.  That is just baggage and the claim on it is to rub it in and make someone feel bad.

At this age and stage none of that stuff matters a twit. 

What matters is love.  Loving someone and having them love you.  Love is the greatest  gift!!  After all this time, weathering past storms that felt like the ship was sinking, baling together and up-righting the vessel-- are moments that have kept us together.

Married love at this stage is all about being comfortable in your own skin and being comfortable with the others be-wrinkled skin.  It's about a shared life.  A mortal life with all of the mountain peaks and low valleys.  Hanging in there together and being there for each other.  Determined to outlast any storms and being a lifeline for each other.

The sweetest words spoken on this anniversary? When he hugged me and kissed me and said....Nancy.  You are amazing!  Look at you!  Don't lose weight!  You might wrinkle!  I love you just the way you are!  

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A marvelous part of our life is a group of the most diverse people on the universe.  Our children.  Strong willed humans that we love and they love us back.  They have lived with us and they know us and they still love us in-spite of that experience.  And we also feel that way about them!

Our one and only daughter shared this....

My parents have been married for 55 years today. I can't even imagine that!! They were high school sweethearts, the football player and cheerleader. They have been a constant example to us showing unconditional love through the highs and lows of life, and that while it's not always easy, it's always worth it. Thanks Mom and Dad, you are loved more than words can express.

 Our youngest son said this....
  
 Our parents are examples to the rest of us on acceptance, love and perseverance. Love them beyond words. Thanks mom and dad for the amazing childhood. I never knew how good we had it, because they didn't give us their love for rewards or accolades, it was always from the heart. I never doubted their love for me or between the two of them. Pillars for their children and grandchildren. We love you!

Both of  these sentiments warmed our hearts.  This is such a great stage of life and a great time in our marriage.  Running through my mind are the lyrics from -- 

Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I found thee...

Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life
At last,I've found you.
Ah! At last I know the secret of it all.
For the longing, seeking, striving, waiting, yearning,
The burning hopes,
The joy and idle tears that fall.

For 'tis love and love alone,
The world is seeking.
And 'tis love and love alone,
That can repay.
'Tis the answer, 'tis the end and all of living,
For it is love alone that rules for aye.

(LAST STANZA REPEATED AND CLOSES WITH);
For it is love alone
That rules for aye.

Probably 45 years ago!!!