(Eileen and her husband will be going to Russia in a couple of weeks. She had been asked to speak about preparing children for Missions and the Temple. These are from her notes that she so generously shared. I'm going to add in red a couple of things that she said that aren't detailed in her notes. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. so much good advice!!! She was gentle in her opening, acknowledging that sometimes children don't do as we hoped for, thus this beautiful beginning......)
And I have taught them what I could and
They have learned the things they would
And now they've gone their way alone to learn the rest
Most on their own.
(from An Unfinished Woman by Jaroldeen Edwards)
FREE AGENCY- a gift that we sometimes wish only was given to parents and not children.
The truth- "Time and Truth are on our side" (Pres. Nelson said that a few conferences ago)
The Truths we can teach--
1. Priesthood is power to act in God's name. Deacon to Missionary Elder to being a Father blessing his own children. Based on willingness to serve and keep the commandments. Mormon said to his son Moroni 8:2 These are lofty goals but we need also teach our children Doc. & Cov. 121:36-37
(there was a moment that I so wished I had a camera! from where I was sitting you could see the new Deacon grandson as he was presented to the Ward, the beaming councilor in the Bishopric, father to the boy- her son, and then the grandfather- her husband. to see those 3 generations, profiled, just really touched my heart)
2. Wickedness Never Was Happiness- keep the commandments/repent. When in doubt follow the Prophet. "In our family we do what the Prophet says" - parent to child statement with a lot of clout. Specifics are in booklet for the strength of youth. ( she said she used that statement when hard questions were asked. I love that!!)
3. Every human has reason to have good self esteem -We have a 3 Man team on our side- who are totally devoted to our best good. Mosiah 4:9 The Savior is our Brother and we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and the Holy Ghost to teach us. Primary song (I know my Father lives and loves me too-the Spirit whispers this to me and tells me it is true) teach basic things to help them fit into daily living- the gift of reading, personal hygiene, cooking, cleaning, let them devote some energy to develop a talent they can feel good about. (she shared that she had been discouraged one day and went for a run. That Primary song ran through her mind and the discouragement left and calmness was there in being reminded of that love)
4.SUFFERING- teaches us and is necessary Doc & Cov 122:7 My Mother always got upset when I told her I was going to have another baby. I don't think she would have been happy with me going to Russia (not that I'm planning suffering there!!!) But I know for a fact that all elders and sisters do suffer on their mission!! Larry's hard luck stories- why didn't you tell us. We must let our children suffer or they will be blindsided. Pres. Hinckley even wanted to come home. Tears in the MTC.
(I loved this concept to teach your children that suffering is a part of life and they will suffer and they have to learn to deal with it. no one can be spared suffering. Missionaries especially should be prepared for tough times. I really felt that was powerful where she said..."We must let our children suffer or they will be blindsided."
when she mentioned, "tears in the MTC", she shared that they have a Russian language skype tutor and they are in touch each week. she told her the MTC halls are filled with crying missionaries that feel they will never master the language!)
5.Service. It's what's inside that counts! New Brides at the Temple. Service is what life is all about Best way to teach is by example- giving our children opportunities to serve in the community as well as in the Church. (she talked about working in the Temple and how some brides arrive with the focus on how do they look etc. etc. and others arrive with a peaceful understanding of the purpose of the day.)
"I have learned that it is by serving that we learn how to serve. when we are engaged in the service of our fellowmen, not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective. When we concern ourselves more with others, there's is less time to be concerned with ourselves. In the midst of the miracle of serving, there is the promise of Jesus, that by losing ourselves, we find ourselves."
by President Kimball (see Matt. 10:39)
Not only do we "find" ourselves in terms of acknowledging guidance in our lives, but the more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls. We become more significant individuals as we serve others. We become more substantive as we serve other--indeed, it easier to "find" ourselves because there is so much more of us to find!
6. Faith Faith is a gift that grows- not one that is shipped from Amazon with free overnight shipping- gift wrap included. Alma 32:26 gives the formula which we can teach to our children. We can't expect to have a testimony when we are not willing to pay the price, and we are foolish to give up the gift of the gospel just because we don't see the Lord in our live NOW. Alma 32:38 Our children need to act in faith and humility- and they need to see us do the same. If some of your life experiences have led you to feel otherwise, just hold on and keep trying and humbly listen and you will be taught. My pleas to my own children at this stage of their lives is to have faith and endure and all will be for your good because the Lord love YOU and truths are true!!
Mosiah 4:9 No one loves your children more than you do except your Heavenly Father and the Savior. Always ask for their help. They will whisper small and simple things that you can do and always honor the free agency of us as well as our children.
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