Chore Listing!!

Terry has been retired for quite some time now and this week some pestering festering drama surfaced.  Just like 2 quarreling newlyweds, when after the honeymoon phase has faded and the reality sets in of... what is going to need to happen to make this work?  to make things pleasant?  to transition from tolerable to enjoyable?

More than a little bit heated in the battle zone, until the fire retardant rescue surfaced in using a Family Council, to get ourselves contented and smoochy again.  We were able to agree that we both felt the same areas were bones of contention- simply because we each wanted, passionately, a totally opposite solution.

Truly, I think taste buds change over the years and what once was to your liking is not the same as it was.  So yesterday, we worked our way through the challenge of Plain Greek Yogurt vs. Vanilla Jello Instant Pudding and came up with a menu plan and we are both at ease and peace reigns supreme.


Today we tackled the issue of housekeeping.  Truly we were cuckoo about it.  Dishcloth hanging over faucet vs dishcloth flat in sink.  3 hooks for towels. First hung towel is for hands and can't be a white one like other 2 dish towels vs white dish towels, on all 3 hooks, work fine for hands.  Each night spread dishcloth on dryer so it doesn't mold and put out a fresh one vs Each night wad up damp cloth and throw in hamper.  Yes.  I know.  Ridiculous.  Questioning ....why don't they get a life etc. etc.  Truth of the matter this is our life!!  and it's not feeling very Temple like with these barbs.

Terry, on Jan. 2,  gifted me with the most unusual gift that brought me instant tremendous joy .  A gift for a year!!  He announced- he was going to go past just unloading the dishwasher and do ALL the dishes.  Yes!  All!  rinse them, load them, unload, do the pans, wipe the counters, sweep the floors!!  He was quite stunned when he heard himself utter those words and I about fainted.  

I asked...WHY???!!!

He said....Because I don't like the way you load the dishwasher.

What woman would not break out laughing at that one?  Then he said there was one stipulation...straighten the pans.  Now that was another laugh as the pans are on 4 shelves and it  takes nothing to straighten them.  

He then claimed it wasn't his voice speaking but we both agreed it came out of his mouth!!  I was admonished to not tell anyone and I didn't UNTIL he announced it in Priesthood to all of his HP comrades.  When one of his pals asked if I was a ventriloquist then I figured- well, howdy-do...I'll tell the world also.

Yes, the poor fellow would go back to work if he had better balance, no neuralgia, energy, no hip pain, 10 years or so younger etc. etc. and we'd both be happy for that but in the meantime we are trying to create a pleasant work environment right here, at our little empty nest that just has us two old crows, cawing and jawing over anything we can see to gripe about. 

So to end whine time banter battling.  And to create a house of order and one that the Spirit would enjoy, today at our Family Council, which Terry headed up, we came up with a chore list.  just like your little kiddies have.  Who gets to do what and what the what is.  some daily.  some weekly.  some monthly.  and rules of no reminding.  no checking/critiquing/complaining.  We just need a box of gold stars!!

Maybe at some point, this will all change back to the way it has been for dozens of years but for now we are in total agreement on what we are going to eat and who does what and when they do it on cooking and also housekeeping.

We went into overtime on our Family Council, making yet one more plan of action and decided to jointly dejunk/downsize/organize the house.  We started with a closet where I keep dishes etc.  Terry did ask.... what is that thing for?  why do you want that thing?  who gave you that thing?  where did this stuff come from?  want to junk that?  you'll never use this stuff! .... Then the questions stopped and we peacefully sorted through so much stuff.  I was chiding him but inwardly, hypocritical-like, I asked the exact same questions!!

Terry said at the North Slope, where he worked for many years, that they call men who do these household things, BullCooks.  I told him that is not in the dictionary but HouseBoy is.  And so is Sweetheart.

And my title?  Daughter of God.

**************************

order for your Kindle etc.

Counseling with our Councils

(learning to minister together in the church and in the family)

by M. Russell Ballard

Food Fight

Tuesday morning, hubby suddenly announces, out of the blue--
I figured out what to do with the potatoes and onions.  I'm building a cupboard to store them in.

I'm stunned.  Then I speak rudely.  no.  I didn't speak rudely, I yelled....NO!

Did I slam that door?  did I actually pull it with force?  Well, yes.  I did.

True I was on my way out of the house to help someone (ironic, huh?  a do-gooder doing no good to the one that matters most!)

Fervently I prayed on the short ride and thought about the scene I'd just been a part of.  I repented.  I felt horrible.  


On the way home I thought about the lesson I was going to teach at RS that night on Family Councils and realized that Terry and I were not communicating on a good level.

What had happened?


Well, in no necessary order of priority...

*he is one that you want with you, when something needs to be figured out, as to what to do about repairing something.  King of Duct Tape.  but...it will work.  My Dad was a Mr. Fix-it man and I just figured it was a male trait.  So when we were young and newly wedded and something happened to the toaster and he said he could fix it?...well, of course he could!  My man!!  Later when I saw a few mismatched screws in a little pile and ask about them and didn't they need to go back into the toaster? (as I never saw leftovers when my Dad fixed things), he let me know they were just extras and not necessary for the toaster to work.

*in later years I would hear comments like...I didn't know if you used freshly cut green lumber it would dry and twist like that ceiling beam did.  I'll be darned.

or

*I sure wish I'd known how important it was to make sure things are square in carpentry.

*he is a diesel mechanic.  my clothesline that he so lovingly strung up for me is attached to the fence by a come-along.  He is creative and adventuresome. Our children will attest to some of their sweet Father's inventive contraptions, that I won't even mention right now!


I really like my simple little kitchen.  I DID NOT want a shed built in it to store potatoes and onions.  Yes.  I was rude.  


I'm one that usually realizes early on when I've erred and want to resolve things, completely, get it over, seek sincere forgiveness from the Lord, from the victim of my action and then I want to move on.  My man of choice, is not that way.  He can't just quickly forgive and make up.  I badger him.  He balks. and sometimes we go full circle with me re-offending and the cycle renews.


When I got home, we circled each other like warring animals ready to strike out but actually by then I felt so bad and because of studying for the RS lesson, I realized we could resolve this by a Family Council, so I invited him to sit and listen a bit about my lesson.


We acknowledged we had a problem with the veggie storage and something needed to be done and we both wanted a storage bin of some sort.  He wanted to build it. He told me how big, where he'd place it, that it would be square, how he'd design it etc.etc.  I acknowledged that it would be something very nice and we ended on a great note after an in-depth conversation.


We talked about how we didn't talk as kindly to each other as we used to.  One thing is we have no children at home.  When we had children at home and we needed to have a "private" talk, we'd go back to our bedroom to the furthest wall so as to not be heard, keep our voices normal and do our confidential talks, be it about kids or whatever.  Years later we found out that our meeting place was over a ducted heat vent and the little rascals could hear us!! 


When all the children left home we slowly just said what we wanted when we wanted and didn't worry about anyone hearing us.  Somehow though we were off kilter.


I taught the RS lesson and hoped that everyone in the room would go buy the book I'd referred to and start using it in their own life.  I was so fueled and excited not only of what I'd read but understanding the power of Family Councils and having dabbled in it a bit with the pending bin.


When I got home from RS, Terry said something about dinner.  Maybe negative about leftovers?  I'm not sure.  Anyhow WW 3 ensued and I realized we were actually fighting about FOOD!  and then we got into VACUUMING!! (truly I may post this and then go back in shame and delete it!!)

Several things were at issue in our challenges.  He has retired.  We are together 24/7.  We do not think alike.  This is "my" workplace.  This is "my" house.  He is letting me know that I'm not sole owner and some things are not working out.  

We have different tastes in food. One of us likes wheat bread and one white, one likes butter, the other margarine.  One milk, one soy milk. One fried fish.  One grilled.  One likes savory.  One likes salt/pepper.  Steamed broccoli vs. canned peas. It runs the entire gamut.  The Miracle Whip/Mayonnaise opposition ended up with both going for Mayonnaise.    




Meals...we ended up making a menu, deciding what days to cook a full meal, how many days Terry could eat leftovers before bolting for the door, a list of agreed upon foods that we both liked, some guidelines for our behavior of being nice to each other.  No longer would I be going to cook something and he would not want that meal and on the flip side, he'd ask me to cook something he really enjoys and I'd skip the request and not do it.  

Oh, yes.  we covered minute details.  We talked for a very very long time in figuring out what we could do to never have a single grievance crop up between us about meals. I think our plan of action is as complicated as a pre-nup might be.


Our overall aim was to get on the same page, stop all disagreement, find a middle ground of compromise, draw up a plan that we both agreed on and implement it.  We both want peace and order and as a team we can do it.


Sounds silly?  Nothing can be termed silly when we work towards greater harmony and unity in our relationships.  be it family or friends, it's necessary to face the reality and I think hold a Family Council and deal with the issues that are laid on the table and solve things!!


the housekeeping?  I've probably worn you out with the food issues so I'll save that for tomorrow and let you know how that worked out. 


Our Wednesday evening was topped off by hearing the strains, in the background, of a tune that we danced to over and over and over as teens.  We were transported back to that time of young love as the Lettermen sang (perfect harmony, of course.  best dance beat ever! so romantic!!) .....


 

 The Way You Look Tonight

Some day, when I'm awfully low
When the world is cold
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight

Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but to love you
And the way you look tonight

With each word your tenderness grows
Tearin' my fear apart
And that laugh..wrinkles your nose
Touches my foolish heart

Lovely ... Never, never change
Keep that breathless charm
Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight

[instrumental]

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
It touches my foolish heart

Lovely ... Don't you ever change
Keep that breathless charm
Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you
a-just the way you look tonight

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look tonight

Still Questing

Years ago I had the fun of doing a religious column in the weekly newspaper.  I had a byline and a lot of allotted space and how it came about is another story for another time.  As a part of doing this project, I visited each Church (seems we had 19), read the doctrinal information that the Pastor gave me and then interviewed the minister after attending one of their worship services.  They were featured that week in the newspaper. 

The Assembly of God pastor had some wonderful children, that were very strong Christians, and gave "God the Glory" by "Praise Jesus" uttered at each event they participated in, be it a trumpet solo in the high school band or whatever.  I was fascinated by their zeal, faithfulness and sincerity.  Especially since the rabble-rousers in our Branch, who were in the "true Church", had horrible reputations and were super juvenile delinquents.


No amount of reaching out had any effect on these 3 boys.  They were sort of scary to me.  They eventually moved away (but they also eventually moved back!)  I always puzzled over...why?- when we have the restored Gospel and the Priesthood and The Book of Mormon and the fullness of it all do our youth not have more faithfulness and Spirit.  They'd been baptized and they had received the Gift of the Holy Ghost, why wasn't that an obvious presence in their life?

When I interviewed the Pastor and his wife, I asked them the question....how do you keep your children so strong in your faith?

The answer has stayed with me....we make sure that they have an experience by the age of 8, to where they feel the Holy Spirit so strong, they can't deny it.

For them speaking in tongues, by 8, was the experience they could not deny and powered them through high school.

The "age of 8".  The age of baptism for LDS boys and girls.  The age of receiving the greatest spiritual witness ever...the Gift of the Holy Ghost.

I think of the miracles of Pentecost in the NT and the Holy Ghost being given at baptism.  I think of Simon the Sorcerer wanting to purchase the power to give the gift of the Holy Ghost and being rebuked.  so interesting.  Luke 2 and Luke 8. (I like thinking of the idea that I have a Gift that cannot be purchased!!)

Personally I feel I have not taken advantage of or enjoyed to the maximum or benefited, with a more constant source of direction, from the gift I was given at Baptism.  Years past the age of 8!  

That is my journey right now.  To figure out how to gain greater spiritual power in order to receive more personal revelation.  Following the whisperings.  I've been reading a lot about the voice of prompting described as a still voice.  And also what it takes to grow spiritually and improve and grow and pick it up a notch or two (or maybe a dozen or oodles?)

today I really savored this talk.  I hope you take a bit of time to read it and think about it.  Enjoy!

https://lds.org/ensign/2003/05/the-sustaining-power-of-faith-in-times-of-uncertainty-and-testing?cid=email-shared&lang=eng

Two Firsts.

Sunday was a long busy day and I really enjoyed it.  The thing that I'm most excited about in this new Stake calling as RS Secretary, is going to other Wards and meeting new people.  I look forward to visiting their RS meetings and see 10 different groups share their way of doing things.  It's pretty amazing to have such an opportunity.

It was a day of firsts.  Our Ward Conference, and the first one I've missed, and that was sad for me.  I view WC as a time of celebration, summation of a year of Ward activities and I personally love being with everyone and having all the Stake officers/auxiliaries present and then telling us how good we've done!!  I enjoy that!  Goals met and accomplishments noted.  No one gets paid for serving so that little annual gold star of nice comments just feels like a victory!  Who knows...they probably tell everyone the same thing but it's probably true for all of us.  I missed the excitement of WC!

So I just shifted gears and focused on the task at hand in visiting the Spanish Branch in SS.  Another first as we start the round of visiting all 10 units. We started off with an hour long training meeting and then moved on into a regular RS meeting.  It was a wonderful experience to be in the presence of 35 or so beautiful women, using the same manual, hymnal etc.  Even though I don't speak Spanish, I was able to understand what was going on by listening with the Spirit.  

They were all relaxed, warm, friendly and participated in the lesson.  The teacher was so prepared and I enjoyed thinking that they were learning about President George Albert Smith just like every women in the Church.

I look forward to working closely with my counterpart and getting on the computer and sharing things that are available for their RS to keep track of things and to move ahead with their plans of increased activity and especially VT.

The Gospel is just so wonderful and I know it's the restored Church and my life is full and happy because of it!


Want happy?  Tuesday morning (tomorrow!)  Sister Julie Beck will be the speaker at the BYU Devotional.  It will be on KBYU.  I look forward to that!

Focus

You and I have great faith in Jesus Christ. We believe He is indeed the Son of God and He is our help in our times of trouble. 

One of my favorite stories, that is such a strength to me, is in Matt. 14:22-31. This is the story of after feeding the 5 thousand, Jesus sent his disciples in a ship to to go to the other side and He went alone to pray. The weather kicked in and waves started tossing the boat and the hour got late. Somewhere between 3 and 6 in the morning, Jesus started walking, on the water, toward the boat. The disciples were afraid and thought He was a Spirit. Jesus spoke and reassured them that it was Him and to not be afraid. 

Peter was excited and wanted to walk on the water also and Christ said...Come. Peter got off of the ship and started walking and then he sank. 

Now a lot of people say he lost faith but if you read the scripture it doesn't say that at all. It says...But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid, and beginning to sink. At this moment he cried, saying...Lord, save me. the scriptures say that ...immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him... So when Peter took his eyes off of the Savior, lost his focus and started looking at the rough water caused by a wild wind, he sank but as soon as he looked to Christ, as he was sinking and simply said...Lord, save me...The Lord immediately reached out with his hand and caught hold of him. 

When the storms have raged around me in my life, when there are boisterous winds, rough waters, and I'm sinking, I have found that in my mind's eye I recall this story. Because I know it is true, I know that power is still there. 

When I start to look around and start to sink, I inwardly refocus and look to Christ and say...Lord, save me. He always does. At the worst moments in my life He has saved me from falling completely apart and I'm thankful for that. 

I center myself and stop looking at all the stuff going on around me, all the boisterous things that stir up my life and I fix my gaze on the Lord. I will myself to look to Christ and He is there for me and He is there for you. 

You have great faith and that will get you through this horrendous storm with side winds etc. all over the place. I know you are wonderful and loved by heavenly beings and that includes Christ.

You will make it through this calamitous time.

********************************

the above was written to a precious friend that was struggling.  I remember now writing before a blog similar about Peter. (see below)  I really and truly draw tremendous strength from Peter's experience.  I use it a lot in my life!!  I'm no storm chaser for sure!! 

http://acandlestick.blogspot.com/2011/10/sure-footedness.html

Match Up

Calling the Temple to make an appointment, giving my name and the scheduler said..."excellent patron".  

I said...excuse me.  are you saying something to me?
She said...I said 'excellent patron'.  
I asked...why do you say that?  
She replied...because of the Temple appointments you've made.

I was startled to hear her say that.  I've thought a lot about what she said.  Perhaps Temple Appointments Scheduled paint a story but the true story, the reality, the telling detail is not Temple appointments made but Temple appointments kept.  No computer evidence, of calls of cancellations.  or a no-show with no call at all.  uh, um,....procrastinating.  & letting daily life crowd out the real life of the Gospel and pushing the Temple appointment aside.

That sounded so wonderful. Excellent Patron.  such a nice celestial sound.  a little lustre to my life deeds.  like a declaration of worth... Excellent Patron.

Taint so!  Just being honest.  We do the best we can but I do not feel Excellent Patron is our category.  My heart and behavior is not in that computer data.  I hope that someday the two match up but it's not there at this moment!  I'm grateful for that sister saying what she did, as it's really made me think of the importance of doing the best we can, in Temple attendance, so we are what it appears we are in the data base!! We are good patrons and that gives us lots of growing room to achieve excellent patrons!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Look who is here from Toppenish!!!

https://lds.org/youth/video/six-brothers?lang=eng

Learning about the enabling power.

 Tuesday was one of those great days that just feels good.  A friend had a birthday and we happened to have BookClub at her house so that was fun.  She has health issues and I loved hearing the tender concern of the women as they asked her how she is doing and desiring to help her in some way.  

Earlier in the day I witnessed a marvelous friend render service, in an act that went way beyond the ordinary, by doing physical work for someone that really needed help.  To see her cheerfulness and willingness and kindness and gentleness and love,  just melted my heart, and I said a prayer of gratitude for such a fantastic woman that is a dear friend. 

In the midst of the chaos and storms, weather-wise and otherwise,  in the world, I am thankful to feel peace within.  My life is so blessed!  I'm rich with wonderful women friends in my life that do so much to make the world a better place!  be it a single home that needs a scrub-down  or succeeding in the endeavors of their professional careers and always with the Gospel in their lives.  

I continue to work on my quest of understanding personal application of the Atonement and increased tutoring from the Holy Ghost.  Followed by increased obedience from me!  Today I was educated and excited by what I learned from this fantastic talk by Elder Bednar  before he was Elder Bednar.  It is just so enlightening.  I dare to say, there is no way that you will read this and not come out of the task, with knowledge/information that you have not thought of.  It's that monumental!!

It will give you a brand new perspective!  do yourself a huge gigantic favor and read Elder Bednar's speech....about the enabling power of the Atonement.

  
                                     In the Strength of the Lord. 

                                                                      Oct. 23 2001

http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=browse&speaker=&topic=&type=&year=2001&x=14&y=4