My life is a series of One Act plays! Every time I get my act together...the curtain closes and it's over! Time to clear the stage and rid myself of everything except the memories. Memories filled with laughter and sadness and all sorts of tension and perplexities and solutions and scenarios solved/unsolved/unresolved-- that make for keeping me riveted on that One Act until I realize it's had it's last run...with no Revivals!
As a newness of challenges and players enter for a new One Act, I find it intriguing, and am in need of figuring out, how to re-use some of the props from past plays. Things that have become an integral part of who I am. Much like the very old Alfred Hitchcock movies, where he always featured himself in a very brief profile. Fans would watch for that moment of him surfacing in a crowd somewhere. I have things that are a signature for myself. Don't you? Don't we all?
My main thrust in life is the Gospel. At my core is my absolute love of the Gospel. That love impacts every single aspect of my life and every single relationship. Do people see that in me? I'm not certain. I don't love the Gospel for others to notice but I do know if they get to know me, and my realness, that fact would surface at some point. Sometimes that love of the Gospel and my desire to CTR and actually do the right don't match up.
Nevertheless...I am always striving and trying and regrouping.
The last while has really been a lot of introspection and self-evaluation as I/we move to what appears to be a new One Act for us. I don't say Final Scene or Curtain. I'm just saying a shuffling perhaps or a rewrite of the current scene. It seems to fit the Playbill more to call it a rewrite.
Yes!! I am currently in a rewrite! I closed the current One Act and am keeping our cast of 2, using the same stage and set decorations but changing the Star role! Casting myself as Star! A Director's privilege, right??
Giving myself permission to change to be a better fit for my reality.
It has boiled down to better self-care.
All life stages end up with routine to make it work. I have ended up with endless lists and goals that I put myself in bondage to and that would be fine IF I accomplished those things! I feel to do other things beyond the list but I keep myself with feet to the fire and do not grant myself permission to deviate.
Crazy? Certifiable perhaps!
Anyhow...my/our desire is to live independently in our own bitty house until we simply can't. You know that from past blogs.
My overall health is key...physically...mentally...socially...spiritually. Unless I am as balanced as I can be?-this boat ain't a gonna float!! Do not get me wrong...I am not talking perfection by any measure. Enough balance to keep me sane and satisfied and spiritually okay.
Enjoyment!!
We shouted for joy in the previous life for the chance, the opportunity, the blessing of the freedom to choose!! The very thought of freely choosing and creating our earth life was the supreme delight!
I find that with my own expectations of what I need to do as the Leading Lady, I've put myself in a bondage of sort and have blocked some of those feelings that should be joyous!
This is way to long. I'll leave it anyhow! This is how my cookie is crumbling! (anyone remember that saying?)
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