As you know I've been going over to Eagle to be with her and last week my daughter came in and we went over together. Jeanee has a special relationship with her Aunt...a faux Mother/Daughter with none of the drama that sometimes enters into female relationships. It's a rarity and beautiful to behold. Jeanee and I have no drama either and when the 3 of us get together we have fun!
Dixie was so desirous to have things in order before she left and each time I went over we worked on one more thing to help her reach her goal. We previously had readied a list of recipients of her things. Then the next time we worked on recipe books of her favorite recipes. It was so cute because her youngest Grandson wanted her recipe for Cinnamon toast and also her brownie recipe. We laughed about that as we had copies made of a Duncan Hines brownie mix. This time she wanted to finish up boxes.
One of her older Grandsons when asked what he wanted of her material things told her...all I want is a handwritten letter from you to me telling me what you want me to know. So...boxes we did! She knew what she wanted in them...a book selected specifically for each of them...lyrics from the song I hope you Dance...a long list of specific to do's that she'd found in a magazine that she wanted them to refer to if they wanted to know what her advise would be...a framed picture of each recipient with her...a framed picture of just her and I can't remember what else was in those treasure boxes. White boxes all tissued-paper up. And THEN the piece de resistance...a hand written letter, ususally 2 pages long, laid flat in the box (don't fold it. I hope they will read it in years to come and you know how folds damage paper- her instructions!) and then a card about she would be their angel and then the book royal seal...No. Not waxed with a stamp but sealed with lipstick kisses all over!
Her hand writing was so lovely and she wondered if in the future would people know how to read cursive and would an interpreter be necessary for her letters.
We were kept busy having things copied or laminated or buying frames or tissue paper or boxes and making sure each one had her specifics enclosed. We had the ribbon she wanted but that did not get tied on but we put the ribbon on top of the boxes stored in her near empty closet.
She also wanted to do cards for friends but energy was gone and by then she was on morphine and thinking and communicating dwindled away. I brought home cards for 2 of my friends that she wanted them to have...a cookbook for one friend and a coat for another. She loved them because she had met one and she always sent her cards and the other she loved because she loved me and was so good to me. I also have the 5 cards for my children. unsigned but she wanted them to have them anyhow!
Jeanee arrived at midnight on Wednesday and we left early the next morning for Eagle. We left the following Thursday to come home as Jeanee had a flight on Friday to New York. On Saturday my niece called and said Dixie wasn't going to make it. I drove back on Saturday and spent time with her and felt she was going to live longer and ended up leaving on Sunday to come back here as our Grandson was in an accident and Kipper needed to go be with him. So I came back yesterday and she passed away today. Monday morning.
She was still able to be roused and respond yesterday and we said our good-bye with me saying I will be back. When I got in the car and drove away I realized that I was at peace and should she go that we'd said our good-bye and it was okay. She started loosing consciousness after I left. Her daughters and her good friend were with her and she had a peaceful ending without pain.
When Jeanee and my sister and I get together we always have the best time and we party. We had our project planned and she had all of those letters to do and then we did one of her favorite things...she loves to eat out and has specific restaurants that she likes so she'd state what she wanted and Jeanee would go get it and we'd feast at home. She had clams/trout/ribs/loaded baked potato/onion rings/chicken/Jeanee's spaghetti that she favors over all others/blueberries/watermelon. At first she ate hardy and then she cut back and by Wednesday she was eating hardly anything.
A part of that no appetite was due to the fact that Hospice started her on Morphine and an anti-anxiety Rx. She had her 1st dose on Tuesday and still managed to finish the end of one letter and the her last full one.
From there she took to her bed and that was it.
I share this because as Jeanee and I look back we realized we spent the last week of her life, with her being full faculties etc. and having fun and laughing and eating and doing her projects and just like a Hawaiian sunset, you know how fast it gets dark over there!, it was over and she was gone.
I'm glad we didn't waste any time that week but just lived life to the fullest without knowing we were racing against the sand in her life-allotment hourglass. What a privilege to share that time with her and have her laugh and have fun and do her project to completion.
I just wanted to share with you--- Live life to the fullest...create joy...and above all...live to have no regrets. I have no regrets with my sister and I and our relationship. She was 75 and wow!...I am going to miss talking with her daily.
I have pictures of our wonderful week together but right now...I'm tired and going to bed. I cannot really believe she is gone!! Oh, I will miss my sister so much. The gospel is my comfort and gives me strength as I prepare to speak at her funeral.
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As for our Grandson....
Our Granddaughter posted on FB...
Family and friends,
This weekend Kip was in a horrible mountain bike accident. He flew about 15 feet in the air, when he landed the impact sent his femur smashing through his pelvis, breaking both the right and left side. He underwent his first surgery yesterday, will have the second tomorrow and most likely the 3rd on Friday. It will be several weeks before he can walk. Kip is in a ridiculous amount of pain and has a hard road ahead of him, but he is in good spirits. Those who know Kip know how amazing, strong and driven he is, he'll get through this and be even better than before.
Steel rods with 10 and 25 pound weights are going through his hip and knee to ensure that the bone doesn't go back through the pelvis.
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So our son Kipper is over there and we are here taking care of his pups. Our Grandson is 35. tomorrow he will have a 4 hour surgery and then 3 days later he will have another lengthy surgery as plates and bolts and pins are put in.
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I hope this is not a depressing blog. Not meaning it to be. It was so strange to not call Dixie this evening, per usual, and see how her day went. I am being blessed with peace and I'm so thankful. Silent tears just seep out but it's okay. She is okay and that makes me feel okay.
I love the gospel. Sweet is the gospel for sure.
Pictures later. okay?
heading to bed.
all day I've had peace mixed with tears and gratitude.
goodnight.
Prayers for our grandson and my nieces and well, just our whole family would be so appreciated.
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