Home again...

It was a safe trip over and back.  When I came back I sort of sat on the sidelines of life for a week and regrouped.  Ever have that happen?  Just sort of a slump.  Still adjusting to how my life has changed and thinking I'm pretty much on board and it always helps to adjust, at least for me, to embracing the reality of it is what it is.

We never know the power of kindness.  Kindness in the smallest of gestures that might just be the key to filling a need.  Sunday...a call from my daughter and loving memory sentiments expressed...words of love and appreciation from my HubbyMan...a friend enjoying a gift that brought a smile to her and thus a smile to me...a friend dropping a thank you card by and reading her thoughts made me feel so loved.  So....was I not feeling loved or appreciated or was I feeling inferior or what?

I just simply needed a gentle hand up and without asking-- I got it.  As the old song says...Brush yourself off.  Pick yourself up.  and start all over again...   Who said Give a little whistle?  and how can I forget...Tomorrow!!  Tomorrow!! The sun will come out tomorrow!!

Most helpful of all is the Gospel.  I love the Gospel and no matter what else is happening, challenging or otherwise, there are words through the scriptures or talks that just really elevate my thoughts.   

Sunday Bonus...so very glad I got to teach my Laurels!!!  Love teaching the Gospel to them.  I do.  I do.

5 of my 8 Laurels!

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Natalie-  Your letter arrived on my last day.  Dixie and I both shed some tears.  So sweet to think we go clear back to high school cheer leading days!  What fun memories!  Dixie said...to think we thought that being Mormon meant you didn't drink Coca Cola!!  That was our total understanding of what being a Mormon was!  Thanks for such a beautiful letter.

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Dixie and I visited and spent our time just being together.  She is taking a lot more oxygen.  She was tired of her living room looking like sick bay so she had the oxygen moved, from her living room, back into her office.  She has a steady oxygen from the two huge tanks and then daily uses 3-4 of the cylinder tanks for extra boost.  you sort of grasp the gravity of the situation, when you see it all lined up.

She loves to putter, when she can, like cooking brussel sprouts!  She still dresses with full make-up on most days.  We had a surprise when her daughter Laura and my granddaughter popped in to see us from Utah.  They scared us as we were in the walk-in closet off the bathroom, she was tired, wouldn't stop pulling clothes that she wanted me to take and I said...I'm counting to 5 and turning the light off.  you have to sit down!  I counted down, flipped off the light, and looked towards her bedroom and screamed as these two zombies were standing there with sober faces.  Then Dixie screamed and it was havoc.  Wonderful visit for a day.

Dixie- Puttering in her kitchen.

Her Brussel sprouts were yummy!

Dixie with her Daughter Laura

My granddaughter Britta and I.

I left Terry with soup etc. all cooked/packaged/frozen.  He claims he couldn't find it and opted to buy a raft load of cold cereal!!  So much for nutrition!!

Like eating air!!

Soup that he couldn't find!!

Speaking of Terry...he did a Lego that Kip gifted him with!  It was really fun for him.

My builder!!

 

Heading out...

Intentions.  The road to you know where is paved with good intentions!  and I'm not talking aobut upper level celestial living!  Bottom line is...to scattered.  so unfocused so therefore not staying on task!

Excuses out of the way!  Forging ahead dragging my homemade/self-made wagon of store pallets.  All piled high with those must-dos/want-tos and the reality of not-dos outweighing everything.  I keep thinking this regrouping will stop!  Then realize-- I'm the driver of this rig!  I'm the one that puts the pedal to the metal or jams on the brake!

Slowing down and breathing deep.  Dr. tests and all those tests?...are all okay!  well, so far.  Still waiting on the reading of the 24 hour heart monitor for the Hubby.  And for me...needing a new Dr.???  She said I need to lose weight!  Humph!  I drowned myself in Chinese food that night and my fortune cookie read....

Keep up the good work.

You will be rewarded.

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I did contact the Dentist (my nightmare!!)  Well, online I contacted them.  They sent a note and said...call our office for an appointment.  I finally got up my nerve and called and made an appointment after a tooth chipped!  but I did make it and then yesterday cancelled it!!  Just cause...I'm leaving this morning to see my sister.  She is not doing as good as she was.  I just feel the need to go visit and Terry felt the same way....I need to go.  So...our son will watch out for his Dad (not to compare on any level but we do watch out for his doggies, our Grand-pups, when he goes to Kirkland).  I'm heading to the bank at 9 and will hit the pavement.

Lots of time to mull and think and ponder and regroup  (one more time!!)

I must tell you that we had the best Conference ever.  It was historic.  All the ducks lined up and we met in our Chapel, along with Toppenish Ward, and other chapels in our Stake doubled up, so it opened in Yakima and then switched to SLC!!  It was amazing!  The Spirit just flowed through the screen and it was a bit of heaven.  Using all of this technology is so incredible.  I know they worked so hard here, to get everything up and running.  We will now be able to hear more from SLC leaders and that will unite the Church even more.  I felt it was a regional meeting although it was billed as a Special Stake Conference.  Fantastic!!  I, by the way, am so ready for General Conference! 

The Laurels that I teach....I am in love with these YW!!  They are precious to me!  Love being their teacher.  We never know how long we will serve but I'm enjoying the ride and wheels on the bus are still rolling so I'll treasure it until the gas runs out!

No promises except...I'll check in when I get home in a week!

Trying

Sometimes I have flashbacks to joining the Church and then trying to figure out how to do ALL of the things that I felt bombarded with.  A to-do list that had me overwhelmed and feeling inferior, with how everyone else was so perfect, in how they did everything they were asked.  I loved the Church tremendously but I felt steamrolled with all of the expectations. 

I've mentioned before that I wish someone had come to me and said something like...how wonderful you are in the Gospel.  You are a nice person just the way you are.  Add Church goals as you can.  You will grow into it....  well, you get the gist of what I'm saying.  I wasn't some hardened criminal or the likes.  Just a nice young Mother/Wife with 2 little boys.  And an undiagnosed Co-d person even back then!  Wanting to do it all and I really think doing things, for the love of Christ, was not in my mind, as much as wanting to fit in and have the approval of humans... those perfect beings that I'd perched on pedestals... agleam with jewels of a celestial shine.

It took me years to find my way, to feeling okay about all the lists, from Conference talks and other local talks.  It seemed like the law of Moses bombarding me with all of the exactness of multiple to-do lists.

Terry and I recently listened to a talk from 43 years ago and I told him that I remembered feeling so defeated, when I heard all of the things mentioned, in one paragraph that we were suppose to be doing.  Read it and you'll see what I mean.  Imagine just still trying to get a grip on how to live like a real Mormon and hearing 15 or so items at one time!!  Including a year of food!!

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When I speak then of total commitment, I do not refer to a momentary dedication which comes from being filled with the Spirit of God only on certain occasions such as in this conference. I refer to a daily or continuing spirit of devotion and dedication which comes from keeping all the commandments of God every day. We must not pick and choose which commandment of God we will or will not obey. Every one is important. For example, we cannot postpone genealogical research, temple work, or missionary work until after we retire. When we accept Jesus Christ, we accept his apostles and prophets and his total concept of Christian living. We then gladly accept the admonition of God’s servants and willingly have family prayer, hold family home evening, keep a year’s supply of food on hand for emergencies, send our sons and daughters on missions, keep the fast, pay an honest tithe, care for the poor and the needy, and are kind and thoughtful and considerate of others. We willingly become saviors for our families and go to the temple regularly to officiate in behalf of our kindred dead who have sacrificed so much for us.

When we therefore understand this principle of commitment, we will realize the importance of priesthood genealogy and temple work. The Lord said that unless the hearts of the fathers are turned to their children and unless the hearts of the children are turned to their fathers, this earth life would fail its purpose. Genealogical work is therefore important and we should get on with it.

(excerpts from Oct.1973 CR by Theodore M. Burton The Need for Total Commitment  -here)

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Eventually of course I learned how to cope with and enjoy trying to be obedient. I came to understand the process and like everyone else,  I never achieved 100%!  The If/Then blessing factor, that I mentioned yesterday, has been such a blessing in my life in obedience with expectation of a blessing and gives me perspective

The above talk said "Genealogical work is therefore important and we should get on with it."  I realize it is important BUT I have never got on with it!!  nor have I felt the desire, that I see in those souls that bravely share their passion about it trying to get me off center and my eyeballs roll back in my head, in knowing what is coming, in them telling me, yet one more time!, what I need to do.  The only thing I've ever consistently felt about genealogy is guilt!  Besides that...my niece does all of our names etc. etc.  It's all done etc. etc.

In trying to step it up a notch, before my earth time allotment runs out, I decided to listen to Roots-Tech and see if maybe something would be said to peak my interest.  Hubby (he that causes me to roll my eyes and stop my ears to not hear what I term badgering and he terms it encouraging me) decided he would listen also.  Actually we watched LiveStreaming (old dogs loving new tricks!)

So there we were in separate places, on our own computers, prepared to listen and hopefully to be motivated/inspired to do this gauntlet throwdown ... "Genealogical work is therefore important and we should get on with it."

I must say that I was caught off guard on so many counts.  First of all, I took tremendous comfort in hearing people, active people/temple loving people, that did not do genealogy.  Sheri Dew (head of Dessert Book and former General RS Counselor)    Until 4 years ago, President Nelson's wife, Wendy, had not done any Genealogy right alone with the same being said by Rosemary Wixom (Current General Primary President).  These were my kind of women!  Active, strong testimonies, attending Temple etc. etc.  and YET they were not doing Genealogy. 

Sheri Dew and Rosemary Wixom both gave fantastic talks and committed to trying to do Genealogy.  Wendy Nelson was inspiring as I thought that 4 years ago she was in that same boat of not doing anything. 

I loved it.  I believed them.  I read Elder Scott's talk (Oct. 2012) that Sister Nelson said inspired her.  Looking and finding things he counseled to do that helped her.

I looked for If/Then promises in all the speakers and they were there.  Starting with the opening by one of our new Apostles...Elder Renlund.  His promises are so beautiful, so amazing and hey!...I need these blessings!! 

I'm going to give it a try!  Doing Genealogy.  Yes.  I'll try because selfishly my family needs this heavenly help.  Just being honest here!  There were lots of promises given and I'm waiting to read it and mark it up!

I put the link at the bottom so you can go and listen to each talk.  You will be blessed by doing so.  I just know you will because I was and we are alike aren't we???  Yes.  We are sisters and they spoke truth and you will feel it as I did.  and still do!

(personally I felt it was the first time out for the Renlunds and was a bit awkward in presentation at times for the women, as they were reading off of a teleprompter.  You could feel his power at the end when he gave that Apostolic blessing to all of us!  His wife and daughter are beautiful and charming and my heart went out to them.)

"Brothers and sisters, I promise you protection for you and your family as you take this challenge, to ‘find as many names to take to the temple as ordinances you perform in the temple, and teach others to do the same.’”
— Dale G. Renlund

 If you do this, he said, blessings will flow to your family. You’ll find not only protection from the temptation and ills of this world but also power to change, power to repent, power to be sanctified, power to learn, power to bind your family together and heal that which needs healing. (quote from Meridian magazine)

(Catch-up on RootsTech conference....here)‬

Beautiful Words...

When does one fall in love with books?  How does it happen?  Surely it began with hearing my Mother's voice as she read a chapter to us each evening out of a book and we begged for just one more!!  please!!  I never remember her complying but I also never remember her missing a night. 

Uncle Wiggly- with his rheumatism and needed walking stick and nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy and each chapter ending with a tease about some far fetched possible happening that would prevent the next chapter... if the sunflower doesn't shine in the face of the clock, and make it's hands go whizzing around backwards...then the promise of being told about the next adventure would happen.

Uncle Remus- a fast pace rhythmical heavily accented story with the likes of Br'er Rabbit and the tar baby and the pleading to please!!! don't throw me in the briar patch....a ploy to save his own skin.

Little Orphan Annie- she would read this several times to assuage our begging!

Was that where I became a book lover?  The stories?  The comfort of my Mother's voice as she read to us?... The coziness of feeling warm within?...way beyond my flannel nightgown warmed outside.

Could be.  Could be.  

I loved the feel of books in my hands.  I loved the feel of the paper...the look of the font...any illustrations...every word whether inside or outside.  AND I even loved the smell of the book.

In grade school, while buildings were being built, we went to school in old Army Quonset huts.  I thought nothing of it as that is just what we were doing.  Alaska was young and maybe that had something to do with there not being lots of old books that were re-used year after year.  We'd get new books at times.

I remember the teacher explaining to us about the care of a new book and to gently take a few pages at a time and open them out and then gently run our splayed fingers down the middle.  To be careful and not just snap the book open.  The care of the book spine was key to keeping the book in good shape.  I could never resist holding the book close to my face and breathing in the scent and stroking the pages. 

I found that feeling stayed with me when I got scriptures.  I love the feel of the paper in the softback Book of Mormon.  I love the heft of my quad in my hands and the softness of the pages and their hardiness as I flick back and forth and mark and underline and jot notes.

My love of stories in books and books themselves has transferred to my Scriptures.  Unlike pretend tales of talking rabbits, be they Br'er or Uncle Wiggly, I find promises of treasure awaiting...Promised treasures not for the asking but for the doing!  I can leaf through those delicate but strong pages with faded gilded edges and find recipes for living.  Things to do...actions for desired results that will enrich my life!  The if/then rule in written form.

I've always had faith in the basic rule of achieving blessings as found in Doctrine and Covenants 130:20 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—

 21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

and

132: 5 For all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide the law which was appointed for that blessing, and the conditions thereof, as were instituted from before the foundation of the world.

My love of books...my love of reading...my Gospel love and testimony were all so beautifully said in a recent talk we listened to by President Kimball when he was Elder Kimball.  I have re-read these words over and over.  To me they are sheer poetry.  I just LOVE them. 

I just picture quietly gently turning the pages and absorbing the necessary action for specific blessings ...just like poring over the Sear Roebuck Christmas catalog when I was a girl and dreaming of the offerings on the pages...I see that reaching for the stars, and catching one, is truly possible if I want to pay the payment price of obedience and faith of expectation.

Oh, wow!!  do I treasure these beautiful words below!!!  I decided to not embolden them as I wanted to do it all! but I don't know if I can resist!!  Don't you love these few words????  Reminds me of Hymn 271- Oh, Holy Words of Truth and Love

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And remembering that life is a time of rewards and punishments, may we consider the positive side today for a while, the rewards which come from him for obedience.

~~~

All these blessings to all of us who remember the sayings and walk in obedience.

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There are depths in the sea which the storms that lash the surface into fury never reach. They who reach down into the depths of life where, in the stillness, the voice of God is heard, have the stabilizing power which carries them poised and serene through the hurricane of difficulties.

There are so many beautiful promises. To read the scriptures and turn the pages, and it seems that it is almost all rewards, evidence of living the commandments of the Lord.

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“For all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide the law which was appointed for that blessing.” (D&C 132:5.)

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All this—what more could be desired or asked for? All these blessings and numerous others to every one of us who is willing to live the commandments and be truthful and honorable in our dealings.

(Excerpts from talk by Elder Spencer W. Kimball CR 1973 - 

The Rewards, the Blessings, the Promises - here)

Taking care of things!

Another entire morning, 1/2 day gone!, at the Dr.'s office but I went prepared this time.  I took my valentines for my Laurels and all of my family with me.  When the nurse came in and asked all the routine questions etc., I then asked her how long it would be before we saw the Dr.  She said--he has to finish with his current patient and then one more and then your husband.  I said--I mean actual time--an hour?  45 minutes?  your guess?  She thought 30-40 minutes.

When she left the room, I took my sack of valentines out and separated then in groups of Laurels, Granddaughters, Grandsons, Sons etc. etc.  I spread them out on the clean paper covering the exam table, pulled out the extension at the end of the table for my desk, pulled up a chair and went to work.  I didn't get them all done, as it seemed to take me forever, to remember who was getting what valentine.  Plus I had a birthday card in there also.  I enjoyed the time and had no frustration.  The intern was a little shocked when he came in and saw valentines spread out in piles that covered the table! 

It's just more rounds of pokes and prods and etc.  I'm thinking this month is going to be 50% Dr. appointments!!  Whatever.  It will end eventually.  All the testing and evaluating will be done.  Results will come in and most likely the follow-up will be...things are fine.  come back in 6 months. It is what it is.

Terry is using a walker when he walks outside on the sidewalk but not inside.  The Dr. asked him where his walker was and we both pointed at me!

On the way home Terry was talking about some hip replacement he heard about that is a new procedure and it still only lasts 10 years.  He talked about how amazing and incredible our bodies are and that the Lord designed our bodies to last and not having to constantly change parts out.  Especially if we take care of them.  I am not up for a nomination in that BodyCare category but I am forever trying!!  I do appreciate and am thankful for the miracle that is mine in having a body and experiencing mortality.

Well, that was today and I'm still rolling in delight that the house is picked up and we had a dinner!

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When we listened to our talk today we were both impressed with how earnest the speaker was and how so many of these talks explain new policies and procedures but the doctrine of Christ, the purity of the Gospel, just holds absolutely firm and steady and unchanging...such reassurance and so soothing and peaceful to me.  I love the Gospel!

Reading...

First Tuesday of the month and I went to my BookClub.  I enjoy the women and the discussion and have recommitted myself to reading each book and going to each meeting.  So far I've gone each month!  True...that is a total of 2 times!  When evening rolls around I find I want to stay home with my honey.  Not that he needs anything or I do anything...I just like to be here with him. 

Speaking of reading...Twice I've read the Book of Mormon straight through with out looking up chapter headings or footnotes or cross referencing anything or reading the Chapter number (I just read verses.  Nothing else).  And no stopping and finding some other quote that supports what I'm reading or numbering things or writing margin notes etc. ...it's just a plain reading of the book.  I loved that reading.  One time I did mark any time it mentioned the word heart.  I am going to do that by the end of the month.  I'll start tomorrow.  I had such a wonderful feel for the book!  It was a great experience and I want that again.

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I wanted to share this thought provoking story that would work wonderful for FHE or a class lesson. You can thank me later!

There is one additional qualification that must be acquired in order to have success in the Lord’s work. We must love the people we are called to serve. Without this, all else is vain, because they will not accept our offering to them unless they know we love them.

In “The Vision of Sir Launfal,” an interesting story is told of a young knight who rode out into the world in search of the Holy Grail (the cup which the Master supposedly drank from at the Last Supper). He had dedicated his life to the quest. He was young, handsome, and strong, clothed in bright and shining armor, mounted on a gallant white charger. As he crossed the drawbridge riding out into the world, a beggar (who was a leper) put up his hand to him, begging alms. The young knight reached into his pouch, took out a gold coin and flung it to the beggar as he rode on, but he really did not give the beggar very much because no one would accept even a gold coin from a leper.

The young man searched for the cup; of course he didn’t find it, although he spent his life in the quest. He did, however, learn a lot, and at the close of his life he was returning to his castle, no longer young. He is now shrunken with age. His armor is no longer bright; his mount is no longer a charger but just a tired old gray horse. As he was about to cross the drawbridge into the castle, once again a beggar put up his hand begging for alms. This time Sir Launfal stopped, got down from his horse, reached into his knapsack and took out the only thing he had—a crust of bread. He then dipped his cup into the stream and gave the crust of bread and one cup of cold water to the beggar.

The wooden cup from which the beggar drank turned into the Holy Grail for which he had searched, and the beggar turned into a Christ and said a very interesting thing. He said:

“Not what we give, but what we share.

For the gift without the giver is bare;

Who gives himself with his alms feeds three,

Himself, his hungering neighbor, and me.”

(“The Vision of Sir Launfal,” James R. Lowell.)

Excerpts from Oct. CR talk by Hartman Rector Jr.  You Shall Receive the Spirit (here)

An Uplifting Day...

Today I was glad that I've made the 2016 commitment to take charge and regroup with handling of my life.  It is what it is and I cannot change any of the going-on's healthwise but I can do the otherwise things!

This morning was a Dr. appointment...car at clinic by 9:05am and home at 12:20pm.  hours of sitting and I forgot a book and my little travel phone and they did not have a single magazine anywhere in this lovely new clinic!!  Plus they were running super late.  So after consult/conversation and needle pokes and blood draws and a shot and x-rays and ekg's and all that sort of stuff that happens sometimes...I finally pulled into my driveway!

It was wonderful to walk in and have BasicLowStandard with no clutter around.  I could sit, without guilt or pressure, and just relax.  Because the entire morning had been eaten up time wise, I had no desire to cook.  I knew there was a package of Jeanee's spaghetti sauce, that she had made at her Dad's request, so I dug in my little kitchen freezer and hit pay dirt!  Perfect!!  EasyPeasey delicious dinner.

One of my Laurels was going to come by and visit mid-afternoon and I wish I'd had some sort of treat or juice ready when she arrived with her sister.  Next time.  I'll be ready next time!  It was a great visit anyhow!

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Our granddaughter Grace is such a fantastic dancer!!  She was just in a dance convention/competition in Nevada.  She took 2nd place overall.  Girls of all ages!  Amazing! 

Love this girly!!!

Grace's Dad, our sweet son David, is devoted to her.  Here he is helping to sew a costume at the event!  Love this!  I also loved what his sister said about him and this picture....

"This is my brother.... One of the most extraordinary men you'll ever meet. He's covered in tattoos and muscles and loves adrenalin and has the most gentle soul and enormous tender heart of anyone. I adore him more than words."

Man of many talents!

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While I was sitting and waiting with nothing to do but think...I enjoyed contemplating the unique take on the CR talk we listened to today.  It has an entirely different slant to it in how we can help people.  I'm sharing 3 paragraphs and then when time permits read the talk or watch the video.  You will really enjoy his approach.

Marvin J. Ashton- CR October 1971  He Took Him by the Hand - here

How beautiful in the eyes of the Lord are the spiritually well, those who have been taken by the hand and lifted up and made spiritually whole. How beautiful in the eyes of the Lord are those who take the time to lift the needy hand. Peace of mind only comes to us when we are spiritually healed. True joy comes from within. Freedom from a troubled soul is a worthy goal of all.

Healings are not to be made the subject of pride and boasting. Rather, healings should be used to lift self and others to greater heights and service. May we not appropriately conclude the lift can be more important than the healing.

Certainly the greatest miracles of our day are the lifting and healing of troubled souls. Spiritual strength is a priceless possession available to those who will endure in righteousness. The healing of the troubled soul gives health and strength to those dead in things righteous. Purity, faith, hope, and charity are restored, making the once spiritually sick whole.