The Waiting

 Decisions made out of necessity, and yes, great love- and then starts the vigil of waiting.  Waiting- with no fixed hour of completion.  All things removed with the exception of Morphine.  Morphine- to keep a long ago discussed agreement, a promise backed up by a living will, that neither would let the other suffer when that time arrived.  The discussion years before, when the time of decision was seemingly light years away, started to inch closer, as health started to decline. Today became that time. 


I've been in a mulling state of thought all day as I've watched my friend do things that only she can do---Like the beautiful many-traited  amazing woman she is, filled with strength and courage and buoyed by her resolute faith.  She is tired.  This life trek has been a very long arduous journey, across uncharted ground, of facing losing her husband.  


Walking into the hospital this morning, the wind was blowing and I felt something cold on my face.  Lost in thought and unaware- I had tears.  We cry because we hurt and we feel helpless no matter what we do.  Nothing can fix this.  We can love and be there and make our soup or bread or whatever we feel to do.  We can pray.  Put names on prayer rolls. 

I guess the best thing to do is just be her friend.  

Let the Spirit guide.