At best, those offended/ticked-off souls, pull off to a self-imposed timeout by the wayside, off the little strait/straight sharply defined Gospel path, until maybe new Ward leadership is sustained. Or maybe the offended person moves or some other sort of solution-solving drama. (Although some will still be fanning the flames and keeping those ill feelings of judgement alive within.) It's tricky business this being an active Ward member with a loving heart. The slippery slope. The walking the highwire without a net. Taint easy!
Perhaps signs on the Church door could be posted, giving a heads-up like~~ Weekly Family Reunion - Play Nice in the Sandbox etc.
A huge clue to the territory we are entering is found in acknowledging the Bishop of the Ward is also the father of the Ward! and then the entire congregation are brothers and sisters! There is also a mother of the Wards of sorts, the RSP, and she is trying to get the girls to visit with each other at least once a month. The father does the same with the boys. The first time someone shook my hand and called me Sister, was so awkward, so unfamiliar. Eventually I got up my courage and said gently, kindly to someone- You don't need to call me that. You can just call me Nancy. I mistakenly thought it was as uncomfortable for them as me and was trying to help them be at ease. It took time for that to be the endearing name that it became to me.
In our family of two parents and five children, our total is now 26 people. With t-shirts at family reunions blaring to the world....We put the FUN in dysfunctional!!... and hoping fisticuffs amongst aging wrestlers and those with smartaleck word tendencies when younger, have all gone by the wayside...we meet to reconnect as a family. Knowing the risk factor of happy ever-aftering for even a week at these get togethers--Why would I expect a weekly bed of roses with an entire roomful of "brothers and sisters" who refer to themselves as Saints? Is that said with tongue in cheek or wishful thinking?
The thing that brings us together in the Ward is the personal choice we have all made, be it 8 or 18 or 80, to take upon us the Name of the Savior through baptism and come into His Church which is housed in Wards. Thus there we are, a batch of brothers and sisters, all working together to create a happy home for ourselves with no bickering, faultfinding, backbiting, gossiping and on and on.
The hands down #1 reason that brothers/sisters leave the Ward family is because they get offended. Offense is given in as many ways as there are people to give offenses. The trick to survival is not to take offense. Literally don't take offense.
Choose Not to Be Offended by Elder David Bednar (excerpt from Conference talk)
When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.
In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.
Read Elder Bednar's 2006 Conference talk..... And Nothing Shall Offend Them
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