2 Sources of Spiritual Help...

General Conference was filled with available blessings that our ours for the task of obedience.  Sometimes life is so overwhelming we just long for a large dose of spirituality.  desiring spiritual help in the most fervent way.  This marvelous talk is worth a read.  I shared a few paragraphs to pique your curiosity and to give you a jump start to read the original source.  He talks about two different blessings that are ours for the asking...a priesthood blessing and a patriarchal blessing.

Do you ever long for a priesthood blessing but don't ask?  speak up and request it.  you won't regret it.  also it will help the priesthood holder to develop that ability.  Men have to learn to use that power and how to listen and quiet their own thoughts and be used as a vehicle to pronounce that blessing.  a blessing just for you.

Do you study your patriarchal blessing?  Do you long to receive the mentioned blessings?  I certainly do.

These two types of blessings are personal and just remind us that we are truly God's daughter and He loves us and cares for us and about us.

Buoy yourself when you read below.  You will feel better just by reading of the power and promises.  If you are down or just need a boost then these paragraphs will lift you up.

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STRENGTH DURING STRUGGLES by Elder Lionel Kendrick here

Remember priesthood blessings. When we are struggling, we may seek a priesthood blessing. For the blessing to be effective, we must be humble and teachable. We must be willing to submit our will to the will of the Lord as spoken to us in the blessing. This blessing can be a great source of counsel from the Lord. Our minds can be enlightened and our knowledge and understanding quickened. Our vision can be expanded. He has given a powerful promise concerning that which will be spoken by the priesthood holder who is giving the blessing: “And whatsoever they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost … shall be the will of the Lord, shall be the mind of the Lord, shall be the word of the Lord, shall be the voice of the Lord, and the power of God” (D&C 68:4).

We must have full faith and complete confidence in the counsel we receive. We must have the courage to follow it. If we do so, we will receive added power to succeed in our struggles.

A priesthood blessing should be a great source of comfort to us and can bring feelings of peace, hope, and love. Our confidence can be restored as a result of the blessing. Our mind and body can become invigorated. Our spirit can be renewed, and we can feel a divine determination to deal with our difficulties. We can feel the presence of the Lord and the companionship of the Spirit.

Ponder our patriarchal blessings. Our patriarchal blessings are another source of increased strength during our struggles. President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994) gave great insight into one of the purposes of our patriarchal blessings.

He said of the Savior: “He knows in advance every strategy the enemy will use against you. … He knows your weaknesses and He knows your strengths. By personal revelation you may discover some of your strengths through a careful and prayerful study of your patriarchal blessing” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [1988], 214).

President James E. Faust, while serving as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, taught the principle of power in patriarchal blessings: “God knows our spirits; he knows our strengths and weaknesses. He knows our capabilities and our potential. Our patriarchal blessings indicate what the Lord expects of us and what our potential is. Our blessings can encourage us when we are discouraged, strengthen us when we are fearful, comfort us when we sorrow, give us courage when we are filled with anxiety, lift us up when we are weak in spirit” (“Patriarchal Blessings,” New Era, Nov. 1982, 6)

More on this topic: See Dallin H. Oaks, “Adversity,”Ensign, July 1998, 6–12; Richard G. Scott, “Trust in the Lord,”Ensign, Nov. 1995, 16–18; Ronald E. Poelman, “Adversity and the Divine Purpose of Mortality,”Ensign, May 1989, 23–25. 

On my Soapbox...again!

 

I know I keep coming back to the homosexual issue.  I have read with personal clarity the message of Church clarity, by those in Apostolic callings, that this principle, of marriage between a man and a woman, is the only sanctioned & ordained relationship in any and all marriages.  The two days of General Conference talks really emphasized this.  Man and woman. Different roles & responsibilities.  Ideal for perpetuation of traditional family.  And we have that set in stone document...for the World...to the world...A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD...that leaves no doubt of what our religion believes in and teaches and preaches and asks for others to do the same.

I mentioned to a friend today that the gay issue/the description of marriage, within our Church is not a policy or procedure or program...it is a principle and principles do not change.  I believe in and support wholeheartedly the Proclamation to the World.

Even with all of that- I'm telling you, again, I see problems for this situation coming down the pike.

A young man, a Mormon boy, from a Mormon family, in a Mormon Utah community and attending a mostly Mormon school...committed suicide a few days ago.  He was gay.  He was made most miserable on all sorts of levels.  It sounded like peers tipped him over the top.

You have heard me speak of my friend Sam.  He is gay.  He posted about this young man on his FB.

When I read this, it really hit me that this entire situation will never be "resolved".  There are two differing factions and each feels they are right.  True the words of acceptance but not condoning are surfacing more and more.  Unconditional love is needed.  On both sides.  

So we have two war zones.  both touting families and marriage as the way to go.  They feel we are wrong and we know they are wrong.  We believe in the Bible and Christs teachings and latter-day authoritative revelation.  A lot on the other side believe that also but the interpretation and the source of power differs.  and then there is the mix of folks, that don't even believe in a God, and they fault  believers of such.

Anyhow it dawned on me that we will never convince each other only our side is the real way to live our lives.  It made me incredibly sad to see the warring factions prepare for battle.

I watched the comments come in on Sam's FB and also heard from a mutual friend of ours and also a reader of my blog and we talked back and forth.  I told her I was going to blog about it.

I knew some of the readers of his FB and I want to post what they said about the young man, Wes, who took his life at the age of 14.  They are all LDS and different degrees of activity.  I have known all of them for many many years.  They are all in the 40 age bracket, all married, all have children.  oldest of those children is probably 19.  I think you will find it interesting.

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Oh this breaks my heart. I wish I could hold him in my arms. The silent suffering. Sam, so glad that you found your voice and are living authentically and true to who you are. You are so beautiful, eloquent, articulate and raw. Thanks for sharing your heartfelt thoughts. They touch my heart, every time.

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If it is of any solace please know in my ward I have never heard anything but love and acceptance towards all people. I also speak candidly to my boys about accepting others while living their own beliefs peacefully.

Sam replied....that really is great to hear and I always appreciate your wonderfully direct approach to loving others. I just want to use your comment to make a point in general, not to you directly. My hope is that this love and acceptance in some wards extends to accepting gay couples who attend (rather than excommunicating them), and to gay families in the ward (if that is happening then I would be truly touched) and to acknowledging to kids growing up that it's ok to say they are (and be) gay. Because all you need is a kid who is scared to death of telling their parents they are gay for fear of disappointing everyone and jeopardizing their eternal future because of what they hear at church, throw in some bullying that a parent may or may not know about, and you have a suicide. It’s as simple as that. And the whole time nothing but 'treat all people with love and acceptance' was being preached from the pulpit, and everyone is ringing their hands wondering how this kid could have gotten the message that they didn't deserve to live. We need to do more. These issues need to be addressed in a healthy way in the lives of young people growing up. Preaching from the pulpits that having a gay life is an unfortunate and grievous sin and that gay partnerships and families are "counterfeit" but also 'treat everyone with respect', and then hoping that every kid is somehow going to get the message and be ok is not actually working. This is the unfortunate evidence, and it’s happening over and over again. These are not acceptable losses. I'm not trying to provoke any active members or trying to get them to agree with me, but these realities need to be dealt with. It's not going to go away. That's why I have tried to tell some of my own story on this thread, because I know there are kids out there suffering in silence knowing that it's not ok to tell what is actually happening in their lives.

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 Sam, I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for how I responded when you first told me that night in Provo. I'm so glad that you were a strong enough person to make it through all of that because I don't know if I would've been. My heart hurts for this young man. I appreciate everything that you are and the fact that you continue to teach us all love and acceptance. I know that I could always do more, but I also know that I have taught my own kids these truths. I hope we're not far off from a world where we can just accept each other and work together to make it a better place to be. I love you!

Sam replied... ...you always get me with that Provo story. The fact that you have become such an ally for LGBT people, especially as a dad and as a teacher of so many kids at tough ages by far outweighs any difficult moments in our past. You're awesome and I love you.

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Poor baby boy! The bullying has to stop. Not accepting someone because of your own beliefs of how they should be is bullying.  At the same time everyone has to understand that every church is organized by denominations. We can't expect churches to change their beliefs for us as we won't change our beliefs for them. If you find a church that fits you, then great! If not, then great! Let's stop trying to fit the mold. 

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and this from Sam's active LDS Mother who lives in a nearby neighboring Ward ...To see Wes sitting at the piano, playing so beautifully, reminds me of you, Sam. So sad that this lovely young man has been lost to the world and his family. My heart breaks for them. I can't imagine how that would have been to have lost you. You have added so much to our family, Sam. I think I can speak for the family and say that you have been irreplaceable. And, raising you was a delight. Just wish I had realized what you were going through, at the time, but you know if I had I would not have gone quietly into the night and would have perhaps made things worse than they already were. You are one of the survivors to this terrible tragedy that is happening to our youth, Sam. So proud of you for speaking out and saying the things that you say.. You are proof that these kids can make it in this world. There is a place for them. If only they can get through this terrible time in their lives when they feel all alone. So much more going on, now, with the cyber bullying. Just wish our leaders would rise above it all.

Sam's reply...
Thanks Mom. As I’ve said before I believe our connection during those years may have been the single most sustaining force in my life. It’s the truth. You may not have had a full picture, but your ability to communicate that I was ok got through to me. And I think I speak for the other kids when I say that your and Dad’s ability to accept us and support us in all of our at times extreme differences has made a critical difference in our lives.

Just for clarification what my mom is referring to by if she “had known what I was going through at the time” she is referring to the bullying and negativity I experienced when I was younger directed at me for being gay or feminine or not boy enough. I never once spoke to anyone about it because I was afraid that if the other people who were nice to me found out then they would think less of me and that I was not as deserving of their positive treatment. I was always a bit confused as to why some people never seemed to notice the way I acted. I wondered if whether they were just being nice, or if perhaps I really wasn’t those things. Everyone at church treated me with love and respect and I was grateful for that and haven’t forgotten it, but I had a pathological fear that everyone would find out or agree and unite against me. And when I reached the age of 12 or 13 and actually started having strong sexual feelings for my own gender I was filled with a paralyzing shame that went on for several years, hearing in church that being gay was perverted and degenerate and was the worst thing you could do next to being a murderer and that I would lose my salvation and the right to be with my family in the eternities if I ever “gave in” to such a filthy lifestyle. Tough thoughts for a young person. I realize this is personal and difficult stuff, but it is what has come for me upon hearing about the suicide of this young boy and I think it helps others to hear it.

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Yes, this is a super long but I just felt to share it.  We all have to come to grips with our own feelings and also teach our children about gay issues.  I felt all of this was a good read and might help in some way.  You may agree with these viewpoints and you may not but you will think, for sure!

For me a favorite line in the one post sums it up.  I think it is a good description of unconditional love....  Not accepting someone because of your own beliefs of how they should be is bullying.  At the same time everyone has to understand that every church is organized by denominations. We can't expect churches to change their beliefs for us as we won't change our beliefs for them.... doesn't that ring true with the 11th Article of Faith??

Just one more thing...the post that started it all...

Sam's post...

This is the photo of Wes Buckner, who sadly is the latest Mormon teenager who has died from suicide. He died last week, and was 14 years old. According to kids who went to school with him in his overwhelmingly Mormon Utah community he was being bullied for being gay. Troublingly there was a threatening Instagram account set up against him 4 days before he died. He was the youngest of four children and is being remembered as an intelligent, sensitive boy who was kind to others who felt left out and who was a very talented pianist and composer. Several of his original songs and arrangements are on Youtube. 

 

Sadly this not a new or very uncommon phenomenon in the Mormon community. I remember this time of my own life and unfortunately it was a time when I had zero support from family, friends, school or church, even though they were all good people who had no idea how a young gay person like me would feel when every single message I heard from all sides about being gay was negative, being spoken by people who thought they were doing the right thing by holding these positions. I can only be grateful that I survived this period of my life and to be honest I relate to how this boy must have felt and that’s why it hits close to home.

Ironically this last weekend was also the world-broadcasted semi-annual general conference of the church where the highest leaders of the church used their official speeches to continue to speak against the acceptance of LGBT people and relationships. In a conference full of wonderful messages of love and decency the church insists on asserting their position in the fight against non-traditional lives, for example in this direct quote from the 3rd highest ranking leader within the church.
“We want our voice to be heard against all of the counterfeit and alternative lifestyles that try to replace the family organization that God Himself established.”

Sadly this voice is being heard, mostly by its own members who feel very confident in their continued ignorance and cruelty. I saw online comments of numerous LGBT Mormons who were wounded by these words, people wanting only to be treated with dignity, and who know that their lives and the lives of their partners and children are not counterfeit. I pray that enough members of the church have the courage and decency to question these outdated, prejudiced views, to actually open their minds and hearts and educate themselves, and extend the message of love and compassion that they believe so dearly and honestly, to more of the human family. It’s a tragedy and it doesn’t need to keep happening. A much higher level of love is possible. RIP

  

A composite of talks....

these are the most clever sketches I've seen!!  I just think they are fabulous!!!  here

You could print these and frame them!  Use them for FHE!!  Use them for a lesson!!  You can tell that I am overly impressed but you will be also!  here are two samples....

oh, was that inspired or what??

What a marvelous outpouring of Spirit!!!  So many one-liners given that will be quoted and referenced for years to come!!  I've never heard a talk like Elder Christofferson Andersen.  I've heard lots of Conference talks mention the last days and the condition of the world but never one by an authority talking about the his desire and the glory of His coming.

Today I heard Prophets and authorized people preach.  Preach in a wonderful inspiring way.  Not just teaching a doctrinal lesson.  Preaching as to how to live and how to get with the program and live the Gospel and be nice and love each other of our faith & love those not of our faith... To truly love those  members that are no longer involved in Church and are doubting...The importance of embracing the Gospel by keeping all covenants...The promise of peace and not being fearful even as we witness the condition of our last day world events...To hear of the amazing growth of the worldwide-ness of the Church and more Temples and more culturals and more countries embracing the truth as we know it...Use Temples by attending regularly... Blunt talk about single adults need to get married and have a family...Wiser use of electronic devices that divide people from reality and eliminate actual conversations...lots of mention of marriage between a man and a woman.   The list is endless!!!  Spectacular!!!

Never have I heard so many analogies that were just amazing in illustration.  Stories that were spell binding.  Every single talk was profound.

I wanted a confirmation of a portion of my personal life plan and I got it.  I was seeking to know if I was on the right track.  Hope you got the answer you were seeking also.  Looking forward to dissecting the talk!!! 

I chose not to take notes and started wishing I had but never started in.  I was wanting to copy everything it seemed!!  Opted to wait until it's online and also knew memes gems would be on FB in short order.  like the two I shared below.

Seems its time to step up to the plate and be a real Christian....A real Latter-day-saint... Enjoy our membership and focus on the good things the Gospel offers...Not be afraid of life in a world not of our choosing in actions on the face of it but still it's our beautiful world and I love it like you do.  

The Spirit was so strong I felt it right in our living room as we listened to all the talks.  I am more than happy right now.  Bliss.

I know this is truly the true restored Church and I love it.  I am so glad that I believe in latter-day Prophets and know that the heavens are opened and we really get the real deal through speakers, such as we've been privileged to hear, these last few days.  also the General Woman's Conference.  great inspired talks there also.

It never gets old!!!

Who would think it would come to this sort of counsel???

Ready for the weekend!

My mind has thought a lot about Lydia being gone and realizing that I just love children so much and I appreciate their Mothers and all they do.  I feel I want to do something.  Something to let children in the Ward know that they are special to me, just as they are special to all of our Ward members.  I'm not a crafter type person.  I don't feel I'm a fantastic cook to do cooking with someone.  I'm not going to go jumping on a trampoline but today I thought...I'd like to read to children and talk about the story.  I have some favorite books left that I really like.  nothing long but short sweet & to the point with a great message.  Maybe I could just go read and talk for a bit?  I'm thinking.

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I see the Church is letting female reporters come to the Priesthood session if they want. Sounds like OW is not planning to go as a group but are supportive of individual women going to the Priesthood session.

Below is from the Ordain Women FB page....

Ordain Women enthusiastically welcomes the Church’s new policy announced yesterday that female reporters will now be allowed to attend the Priesthood Session of General Conference in the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. Since the founding of Ordain Women in 2013, we have vocally and repeatedly pointed out the disparity in barring female reporters from the building for that session. We applaud the Church for responding to concerns that female church members raised to rectify this glaring inconsistency, and we are pleased that they are choosing to listen and implement new policies like this one and others to eliminate gender inequality in the Church these past two years. Given yesterday’s policy change, we are hopeful that individual LDS women who want to attend their local priesthood sessions will be welcomed just as these female reporters, Mormon and non-Mormon alike, are now permitted to attend.
We are thankful that the Church took a step toward equality in journalism and hope they continue in that direction in all other areas.

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The only thing more wonderful than having another General Conference?-- having it on Easter Sunday!! 

Ham dinner for Easter.  My Mother cooked ham on Easter so maybe I'm feeling very traditional?  just feels right.  Sounds good.  Will be delish!

do Mothers still buy Easter dresses for their girls?  I loved my Easter dresses!  I remember a couple of them to this day.  and my Sunday shoes...black patent MaryJanes.  Do girls still wear MaryJane
 shoes?  and anklets.  We eventually moved past the MaryJanes but always wore black patent.

    

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things for kiddos to do during Conference....here

here is another one!

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Elder Maxwell was stunning in how he used words to express himself.  I just loved how he talked.  Here is what he had to say, just two powerful paragraphs, packed with wisdom about sins of omission/commission.

These deficiencies just illustrated are those of omission. Once the telestial sins are left behind and henceforth avoided, the focus falls ever more on the sins of omission. These omissions signify a lack of qualifying fully for the celestial kingdom. Only greater consecration can correct these omissions, which have consequences just as real as do the sins of commission. Many of us thus have sufficient faith to avoid the major sins of commission, but not enough faith to sacrifice our distracting obsessions or to focus on our omissions.

Most omissions occur because we fail to get outside ourselves. We are so busy checking on our own temperatures, we do not notice the burning fevers of others even when we can offer them some of the needed remedies, such as encouragement, kindness, and commendation. The hands which hang down and most need to be lifted up belong to those too discouraged even to reach out anymore.

oh, yes...sit down and read this entire fantastic talk and not just the two itty bitty outtakes above!!!
Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father by Elder Maxwell here

Tears flowing...

Wednesday and it was saying goodbye day, to my sweet little 9 year old BFF, Lydia.  This child.  so precious.  Terry and I talked about how deep her love is.   He felt we evidently knew each other before this life.  I agree.

We visited and she told me of how she was going to draw me a picture each week and mail it to me.  That we could talk on the phone.  That she would come see me once a year.  All of this jabbering on both of our parts to take the light off of the elephant in the room.  She was moving and it was dreadful to think of being separated.

Her Mother told me that she had spent a lot of time crying over the thought of leaving me.  It was painful for my own feelings and double so because of her pain.  Words sound so hollow in telling her that things will be okay...we will stay in touch etc. etc.

She likes dill pickles so I put a couple in a small bowl for our pickle party.  I gave her a special fairy book that had a puzzle on each page and we did a couple of those and read the story page about that particular fairy.  We admired the beauty of the pages and the colors.

I told her it was time to go and we headed to the car.  Her brother rode with us.  We dropped him off and she and I went to the store, for chocolate milk, as she thought that sounded so good.  Back to her house and we got out of the car and she took my hand as we walked in.

Her Mother came to the door and we stepped in.  Time to go.  She grabbed me and hugged me and sobbed and sobbed.  She put her arms around my neck and kissed my cheeks.  Crystal was trying to hold it together and not doing very good.  Nor was I.  She stayed snuggled in and sobbing and it broke my heart.  I tried to break away and she held tight.  We were there a long time.

Finally I told her...Sweetie, I have to go... and stepped back as I gently pushed her to her Mother.

We had talked earlier in the afternoon about love and the price of love is pain when you part company.  If you don't allow yourself to love then you don't have that feeling but love is worth the pain once in awhile.  I believe that but what does a 9 year old innocent understand?

I will miss sitting with her on Sundays and seeing her joy and her face light up when she sees me at any given time and the abundance of the expression of her pure love in all sorts of ways. Her Mother still questions how this came about as Lydia is extremely shy and yet she came and sat with me/us at Church when she was 4 years old.  Her parents sat behind us with her 3 brothers and that is how it's been all these years.  Snuggled in-between Terry and I.  She loves him also and he is also her BFF but not with the intensity of our association.

This is one relationship that I will tend and nurture over the years and someday,  on the other side of the veil, I do believe that I will fully understand our connection.  For now...it's enough to thoroughly enjoy our friendship and I so appreciate being cherished by a child.  Such purity.

Our last adventure--we went to the ballet at the Capital Theatre with her Mother.  We had a wonderful time!!!

My darling Lydia and I.

Lydia and her wonderful, equally sweet/loving, Mother, Crystal.

I just remembered a letter Lydia emailed me in 2012.  3 years ago.  I got such a kick out of it.  Her Mother was cooking dinner and she had set it up for Lydia to send me the note she wanted but couldn't help her right then.  Lydia just went ahead and did it with her Mom instructing her how to send it.  We both enjoyed her letter!    here

menu planning...

Count down moving fast.  So happy and excited.  Planning our menu and ended up with 3 or 4 ideas and then did none as it seemed more Easter to buy a ham.  don't ask me why.  I don't know.  Costco had an unsliced ham and being as how the Mister doesn't like the spiral cut ones, this will work out great.  we will also have homemade cole slaw.  steamed carrots.  and I don't know what else.  Terry really wants me to make a chocolate pie.  I love him that he likes me to cook some things that are special to him.  Not necessarily the healthiest but special.  I have the power to grant that wish and I just might do that deed.  Might.  Not for certain yet.  My mother always made deviled eggs for Easter feast.  haven't made those in ages.  might do that also.  I'll have things ready Friday night for the weekend party that the two of us will have! 

Are you ready?  food decided?  question/questions written down?  (no limit on questions you can ask!!)

This is about asking questions you want answered at Conference...it's real short but worth the few minutes....here

Review Promised blessings to asking questions at these sites below.....

If you only have time read one of these-- then let it be this one about asking questions....
General Conference - No Ordinary Blessing Elder Uchtdorf  here

Strengthening Faith and Testimony at General Conference by Elder Hales here

The Blessings of General Conference by Elder Paul V. Johnson here

Things for your kiddos to do....here  and here