The Ladder

Quite some time back I shared a poem by a reader that I was captivated by it.  I just love it.  It's called The Ladder and I printed it at the end of this news....Amy has decided to do a blog about her pain from which she is working at healing herself!!!  She says.....

For a long time now I have had a desire to share my healing journey in a way that could help others. I have feared speaking out, though, because of not wanting to offend others or make people uncomfortable who know my ex-husband. Today marks 3 years since leaving my marriage. During that time I have faced persecution and been judged for the choice to leave. I have purposefully remained quiet but am now choosing to use my voice. I have started a blog, not to criticize my ex or speak about specifics from my past, but to share experiences and feelings as I move forward to connect to my true self. If you desire to join me on my journey, please follow my blog! It is a slow start, but I had to just get the first post done. More to come!
http://freedomtobecome.blogspot.com/2015/03/freedom.html

Freedom to Become: Freedom

freedomtobecome.blogspot.com|By Amy Tiare

The Ladder

by Amy Tiare

Teetering on a broken ladder

Unsafe, unclear

Halfway to my destination

Do I go up?

Do I go down?

Does it matter at this point?

The ladder will soon give way

Looking down at the cliff below

Jagged, rocky

Pain is what awaits me

What to do?

Which direction to choose?

Is there even a choice?

Can’t even remember which direction I was going

Looking up at the broken rungs above

Dizzy, weak

Fear keeps me holding on

Can I make it?

Can I continue to hold on?

Is there any way to save me?

There is no way out of this

A scene flashes before my eyes

Pain, anguish

The Savior suffers in Gethsemane

Can he make it through?

Can he complete the task?

Is it too much for Him to take?

He endures it well and fulfills his mission

A voice enters my mind

Calm, gentle

“My child, I am here for you.

What will you choose?

Go down? I will catch you.

Go up? I will reach for you.

Choose. I cannot help as long as you are still.”

I listen to my heart

Pounding, racing

I listen to my head

What will happen if I move?

Will the ladder break?

What will become of me?

A choice is made. I let go…

6 words to NEVER say!!!

Christ's life, His scriptural teachings, His Church, the RS organization I adhere to-- are all centered and based on service.   

My friend Carol lives a life of service.  She always has and I believe she always will.  She is a human dynamo.  She has single-handedly taken care of our entire Ward at times.  She knows every needful thing to do and does it.  Pronto.  Without delay.  She is amazing!  I know this sounds exaggerated but really I could produce Ward witnesses that would back me up on this phenomenal woman.  None of us could match her if we tried and I'm glad that isn't expected of any of us.

My life is blessed with the presence of many great women and the commonality, beyond Church membership, is each has a kind and giving heart.  Each gives in their own way.  They have figured out their own personal ministry.  (Ministry.  I like the word and want to blog about that beautiful word.)

At different times in my life, I've done different levels of service. 

Right now I feel like my own personal life is my own personal service project!!  So many changes in our life and I'm feeling more in control of "us".

anyhow....
 
This article is one of the best, if not the best, I've ever read.  read the comments also.  they are eye-openers!  The Six Word Phrase All Mormons Should Stop Saying  here

Neuroplasticity

Our friend Darrel is a retired high school Biology teacher.  His wife was diagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago.  We were visiting one time about the brain and he shared that when he went to college that he was taught, and then taught his students, that you were born with so many brain cells and eventually they would die off and couldn't replenish themselves or be healed.  We talked about what had been discovered since that time and how Terry had that stroke 2 years ago and the amazing things we learned, that he could heal his brain and reconnect broken lengths through therapy.  It's called neuroplasticity.

I just read about the merits of neruoplasticity in this article Faith to Heal the Brain here
It's an amazing article. For those of you in SLC area they are having a special presentation.  I know there are several of you that would want to attend this in hopes it would help your child.  The book by Norman Doidge is called The Brain That Changes Itself .  I am so curious!  If I was in Utah, I'd go with you!

Norman Doidge in Salt Lake City on March 31st.

If you or your loved ones suffer from mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, OCD, and addictions, or neurological challenges such as chronic pain, ADD, LD, TBI, stroke, MS, dementia, Parkinson’s, and Autism, or if you want to learn what you can do to preserve and enhance brain function, join us. Avalon Hills Treatment Centers invite you to attend a night with Dr. Norman Doidge, MD. Hear stories of faith, hope and personal triumph and remarkable discoveries and recoveries from the frontiers of neuroplasticity on Tuesday, March 31st at 7 pm at the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City.

Click below to reserve your tickets.

https://www.avalonhillsfoundation.org/register/register/

To find out more about how the new science of Neuroplasticity can help you overcome your challenges and/or preserve and enhance brain function, join us on March 31st.

God's love = His commandments

this is such a great talk Free Forever, to Act for Themselves by Elder Christofferson here

(two paragraphs to whet your appetite!)

So God does not save us “just as we are,” first, because “just as we are” we are unclean, and “no unclean thing can dwell … in his presence; for, in the language of Adam, Man of Holiness is his name, and the name of his Only Begotten is the Son of Man [of Holiness].”⁴ And second, God will not act to make us something we do not choose by our actions to become. Truly He loves us, and because He loves us, He neither compels nor abandons us. Rather He helps and guides us. Indeed, the real manifestation of God’s love is His commandments.

and

I am under no illusion that this can be achieved by our own efforts alone without His very substantial and constant help. “We know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.”²⁴ And we do not need to achieve some minimum level of capacity or goodness before God will help—divine aid can be ours every hour of every day, no matter where we are in the path of obedience. But I know that beyond desiring His help, we must exert ourselves, repent, and choose God for Him to be able to act in our lives consistent with justice and moral agency. My plea is simply to take responsibility and go to work so that there is something for God to help us with.

dreaming...

I bought the book  

21 Principles-Divine Truths to Help You Live by the Spirit 

 by Elder Richard G. Scott.

Over the years I've learned so much from his words and I looked forward to reading the book.  I have not been disappointed in the least!  I've always thought I knew what a dream was.  I mean dreams that are revelatory/instructive on a spiritual level.  I remember two very distinct dreams concerning callings in the Church.  One was a dream of a calling that would happen (it did 5 months later) and the other was how to do a particular calling that I was already in.  

A dream...seeing it like a movie.  A dream of being awakened, by specific detailed voice instructions, out of a sound sleep, as to how to handle a current calling or what calling was in the future and how to do it.  Those are the types of dreams, that are familiar to all of us.  At least I'm assuming so.

Elder Scott gave me new perspective on a different type of dreaming.  I'd never heard this before. I think it's powerful and enlightening.....

Principle 16

One of the most memorable and powerful patterns of communication by the Spirit is through dreams.  I have learned that when the transition from being fully asleep to being fully awake is almost imperceptible, it is a signal that the Lord has taught something very important through a dream.

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This is a truth to me....

(I just added a great quote by President Benson to yesterday's blog post.  it's towards the end.  you will enjoy it.  I promise!)

Sharing life....

A friend has endured some harsh things in her life.  It left her somewhat devastated as there are still remnants dangling out there, hanging over her head, possibilities that may happen down the line.

Those past painful things are so haunting and make us halt our progress, as it oozes over into other relatively healthy areas, of our life.  What to do?  Obviously...sing the song from Frozen and read books about letting things go and pray and fast and try to forget and move on.  Easier said than done.

One solution--  Years ago we found ourselves in a dreadful business deal.  It was destructive to us.  A man lied.  We trusted.  He ended up fine.  We ended up broke and broken.    Terry went to work at the North Slope. We moved.  Our pain personally was almost to much as we tried to begin again.

Each time he came home we would rehash what had happened.  The violation of trust. The dishonesty. What had been said and what the reality of the books really were.  For two weeks we'd relive, rekindle, re-ignite the entire scenario.

Next time...same conversation.  over and over and over.

One week we talked that this was stopping our progress.  We couldn't really feel the Spirit.  We were overcome with regret/pain/remorse/blame/guilt and on and on.

We decided to tell each other our story one more time, with all the gory details, and how we had wrangled with a coiled rattlesnake and he won! and to never mention it or talk about it again.  To just let it go.

We relived it by it's telling, in full minute detail, to each other and then we prayed and told the Lord...He knew the truth.  He knew our hearts.  We had been to trusting etc. etc.  True the fellow took advantage of us but also true- he did not force us to sign anything.  We exercised our agency and acted accordingly by signing.  Our choice.  That fatal signing.

Next time he came home we didn't really know how to act.  Our routine of our self-justified griping/complaining/victimized etc. had taken over our communication.  We struggled to shift and keep our word of absolutely no communication about this single incident.

It took time but as we cleared that toxic debris from our minds/thoughts/speech, it faded further and further from our life and then the Lord could have space for His thoughts/Spirit.  We started healing.

I have a couple of scars from minor things, like a cut that required stitches, years and years ago.  I can see the scar.  I remember the entire bloody painful incident. Today??-- I have no pain at all.  The scar does not hurt nor does the memory of how it happened pain me.  I just know it happened, how it happened, it was fixed, and I've heard that scar tissue is extremely strong so actually I'm stronger than I used to be.

We have never talked again about that happening that undid us.  You know what?....right now in telling this--it's like my finger scar-- I know what happened, it is fixed the best it can be, by releasing it unto the atmosphere and giving our pain over to the Lord.  I'm not in pain.  I am stronger.  Even in knowing/living with the consequence that remains....Interwoven in the fabric of our life tapestry...still evident today. and yet...  I am still stronger.

In life we will have more than one rug pulled out from underneath us and we have to learn how to deal with it and apply the Atonement to whatever ails us...be it big or small.

I share this now because maybe, just maybe, what I learned will help my friend to figure out what will work for her in her personal plight.  I hope so.

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Paul said--
"...but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  Philip 3:13-14

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I just found this marvelous quote by President Benson...

I hope we will not live in the past. People who live in the past don't have very much future.  There is a great tendency for us to lament about our losses, about decisions we have made that we think in retrospect were probably wrong decisions.  There is a great tendency for us to feel badly about the circumstances with which we are surrounded, thinking they might have been better had we made different decisions.  We can profit by the experience of the past.  But let us not spend our time worrying about decisions that have been made, mistakes that have been made.  Let us live in the present and in the future. (1988)

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always do your own due diligence.  a part of my personal creed... as President Reagan said....

 Trust but Verify

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