Catching Up.....

To go 14 days without even clicking on my blog, now that is a long stretch for me without a peep.   Here is why....

His & Hers Hospital bands--separate hospitals!!

This was taken the day we both got released and were home!  Terry said it was the most unromantic thing he's heard of.  Two people married for such a long time, hospitalized in different hospitals on same day.  What if one of us had died?  He felt it lacked romance if we weren't in same place.  Well, neither of us died (I did feel like I might!!), we are both home mending and healing, so romance is in the air again as far as Terry is concerned.  Silly goose!  Relief and thankfulness is what I'm breathing in!

His Journey:  5 weeks of confusion and pain...tests/canceled tests...conflicting reports...me having 2 less than nice meltdowns with authorities.  Everything leveled out when they did a Sprint Procedure on him and removed gallboulders (according to the surgery).  Now he has an appointment/consult, on Tuesday, with a surgeon- to decide if he keeps, or parts company, with his gall bladder.  He is now able to eat without bringing on an attack.  He was on mostly self-starvation/terrified to eat regime.  Hopefully he will gain back some pounds or remember to wear his belt.  Maybe revert to suspenders.  I was wiped out and he was trying to help me, leaned over bed towards me and his pants fell off.  Couldn't help but laugh. 

blessings.  Terry had 3 different sets of men Administered to him over that time period.  How we love those men.  Bob and his son, John.  Our HT former Bishop Cliff brought our Stake President.  3rd set was Father/Son duo of Fletcher and his son Terry.  Actually I got a comfort blessing each time also.  3rd blessing was in the hospital.  They administered to me and then came to house and administered to Terry before he went into hospital.  Heather was there also.  I appreciated her added faith.

I love this part of the Gospel--healing powers are on the earth through restoration of Priesthood.  I totally believe in that power.  I knew the Lords will would prevail.  And it did. I had complete confidence in all 6 of those men.  I felt they understood the power they had to help us beyond ourselves.

I thought of my Grandson Lance on his Mission and knew he would give me a blessing if he were here along with his Dad, our Greg.

There is something so magnificent when you are to sick to barely think, and then that thinking is skewed to boot, to feel love and kindness and caring from friends.  To know your name is on prayer rolls, that family is praying, that friends are praying and that we all know that the Lord is in charge.  I felt enveloped by the love.  I could feel it.

I'm thankful that I have worked to understand how the Gospel works and how I can have it work in my life.  I didn't doubt that I could be made well IF it was the right thing.  At that point I felt I'd be blessed to survive the happenings.

I'd been diagnosed with bronchitis and was on Rx but I was getting worse.  So weak.  Struggling with-- am I really getting worse etc. etc. and was told with certainty, by that source we all know of...you are extremely sick. go to the hospital.  That propelled me out of bed.  Startled Terry as I went to living room and told Terry I needed to go etc.  Called our son and he took over care of his Dad.

Me?  I called St. Carol the Beneficent.  Do all wards have Saint Carol's?  Our very own Ward Mother Theresa?  She who goes about doing good for everyone who falls under her shadow?  Does your Ward have her twin or is she just solely for our blessing?  She totally took charge and I was so thankful as I was capable of zilch at that point.  She sat there in a small room at emergency for a couple of hours or longer, breathing in all the germs that had been deemed highly contagious.  She refused a mask and declared that she wouldn't get anything.  Must be a part of her Teflon coated respiratory system!

I went to a small nearby hospital, Carol's choice, that actually has a bad reputation.  Little personal horror stories abound.  When I was ready to leave, the last respiratory therapist gave me my last treatment and  boldy stated--they had a bad reputation and she hoped that I would tell others that I had good care.  They did take good care of me.

Admittedly I am not a hospital visitor type.  I think people are in a hospital because they are to sick to stay home.  They need help beyond themselves.  They have germs.  I did find that personnel seem to each have their own interpretation of what ...private room/isolation/highly contagious mean.  droplets precaution was posted on my door Stop sign.  There were gloves and masks available at that point.  Should they all wear masks?  Were they suppose to wash their hands when they entered my room, when they left my room?  I wondered.  Each time a different person would put a clip on my finger to check my oxygen level, I would wonder...how many other fingers have used this?  where have those fingers been?  Remember, I'm not even patient with people coming to Church, knowing full well they are sick but just can't bear to miss partaking of the Sacrament, so you can imagine my evil eye scanning for germ congregations in a hospital!!!

In my somewhat dazed state, I just went on faith and looking up at the multiplicity of powerful hanging antibiotic drip bags scheduled to be unleashed at their appointed time, I did feel protected.

True, I did wonder about these socks which I wore from the get go.  They are so I wouldn't fall when I got up.  They had no slide to them at all.  I would get up, make a quick trip across the room and head back to bed.  Who all got into that bed with me???  Nurses on their rounds stood on my pathway!  I just figured that yellow was a happy color and I'd relax- bugs or no bugs.

Daffodil yellow socks.  Cheery.

I got a kick out of a sign that was taped up...

The cameras are a part of our Falls Prevention Program.

Currently that are not in use.

I realized that I have no idea how today's healthcare system works.  I had never heard of a Hospitalist.  No wonder people go to Emergency rooms.  There are actual Doctors there.  There is no run around or come back tomorrow.  They stay on task and get you taken care of.  My Hospitalist with the Apogee Physicians was a wonderful young MD named Dr. Chen.  He consulted with a pharmacist and laid out a heavy duty Rx program for me.  Between him, marvelous head nurses for each shift, & respiratory therapists that knew their stuff-- I felt in excellent hands.

(Later I wondered if that is what Abby's hubby does...organize Hospitalists?  Will have to check on that.)

There were a few times that I felt in my own world with a myriad of "TV screens" on the ceiling and I would choose what to view.  So I watched Rick Steves on his Spain tour.  Saw Mt. Rushmore with smoke coming from all nostrils and a reader board sign scrolling underneath that read...Our Country has gone to pot.

I thought - I hope this doesn't get real scary.  Then saw a graveyard but it was only Michael Jackson with his dancers.

Opened my eyes and it was gone.  closed my eyes and it was there.  Asked Nurse about it and decided to keep my eyes open!  For the most part I did.  Jolted myself awake when I asked out loud...Terry do you see that?

I started thinking about the wonder of the Gospel and how incredible to belong to The Church.  A Church based totally on kindness, care, service, giving, loving.  A group of compassionate people that do their best to help each other as they stumble on the path of life.  Whether that stumble be lifestyle or poor health.  I could feel the power of that care.  It warmed my heart. Made me feel safe and secure.  What a wonderful feeling.

As things progressed, in what seemed slow motion but was actually lightening speed, we were both back home.

I loved the planning of things nutrition as seasoned RS women do.  Of what to fix to convince Terry he could eat and not suffer pain.  Joan, is the cook of the century, in what works to entice people to eat when they are afraid.  Her chicken noodle dish gave him courage.  

We have been served such superb food.  So appreciated and enjoyed.  Restorative!

Each person helps in their own way and it's all so welcomed and so needed and appreciated. 

A friend told me she was bringing some chocolate over for me to stash.  I self-righteously said...I gave up chocolate.  I'm not eating it anymore.  She questioned how long I was oxygen deprived and hoped my brain damage would equal out and get normal.  That was enough to bring me full circle to my life being on the edge of healing, & normalcy for me.  My gifted comfort food is tucked away in one of those clean drawers.

tucked in the corner.  Okay.  hidden in the corner!

my stash!

Then I read this....

Theobromine, a chemical found in cocoa, may relieve coughs. A study from the Imperial College London found that theobromine was better than codeine (active ingredient in many cough medicines) at reducing coughing. Theobromine may even relieve asthma since it relaxes muscles in the throat.

 (With pneumonia you want to cough but this definitely shows the medicinal value of chocolate!)

Okay.  Way to much trivia but now you are all caught up on our life.  Terry goes in to see if he needs his gall bladder removed.  I go in to have blood work done and my lungs x-rayed.  Will find out future activity etc.  By Thursday we should be all settled in.  

Now...on with life!! 

Go away!! Form your own Church!!!

I so wish they would form their own Church.  Find some disgruntled LDS men that have been ex'd.  Get themselves ordained.  build their own Temples/meeting houses etc. and LEAVE MY OLDTIME RELIGION ALONE!!!

I'm an 11th Article of Faith believer.  Go do what you want.  How you want.  BUT leave my religion as it is.  I love it just the way it is.


This will never end as they won't be satisfied with just spitting on the face of tradition and mocking Priesthood Leadership.

Go do your own thing.  I don't want to change.  The authorities will change what they please and they don't need me bossing them around.  Nor do they need you.  Back off!!!

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/files/Ordain-Women-Memo-from-LDS-Public-Affairs--PDF-/Ordain-Women-Memo-From-LDS-Public-Affairs.pdf

I can't believe how many times I've blogged about this and it just keeps rearing it's ugly head!!!

Still amongst the living!

Just wanted to say hi and I will post tomorrow and bring things up to date on Terry and I and then??? ....enough of that sort of talk and on to all the thoughts tumbling around in my mind!

I've missed you!

We are going to be fine.  Healing and mending in full motion as I write!

Oh, and....Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Merry-go-round rider.

So there I am on my pony, called Life, and going around in circles.  Reaching for the brass ring and missing it over and over and over.  Finally having an explosive outburst and yanking that blasted ring.  You hear of people having road rage with cars careening and speed limits exceeded.  At least they are moving!!!  Merry-go-rounds just endlessly circle, repeating same up and down rhythm as the circling never breaks the cycle, the same song over and over and over.  And over!!!!

Enough!!!!

My behavior ended up less than nice.  I did not conduct myself in the nicest of ways!

Here is what I sent my children....

Dad saw his Dr. yesterday. He is referring him out to a surgeon but the surgeon wants to talk with him, may do an upper GI. He is not your typical gall bladder patient (whatever that means!). They did a blood test yesterday to check his pancreas. His liver is a bit swollen. I'm very impatient and conducted myself less than nice over all the dinking around. slowly (my terminology) things are moving ahead (slow as watching grass grow!) It only took two verbal tantrums on my part to even make that much inching ahead a reality. Anyhow...I will keep you posted.

Have  you seen that Aspen Dental commercial?  That is how I felt!  

I felt like I was saying...your office said my husband needs surgery and he needs to see the Dr.   

and then the receptionist says...surgery? yes!  Dr.? no.  

 I say...he needs to talk to the Dr. about what the tests revealed and talk about whatever this surgery is.  we don't know.  He hasn't seen the Dr. since the first test.  We need to know what is going on.  

she basically says...surgery? Yes!  Dr.? No.  

PingPonging for what seemed forever!!  Merry-go-round melt down!!!

I say...he needs to get in to see the Dr.  we need an appointment.  this has gone on to long.  we don't even know what either of the test results were and now we here surgery is needed/scheduled.  

She says...Surgery? Yes!  Dr.? No.

You get the picture.

Then she says...I can schedule him for the 27th.  

Me...the 27th???  what on earth are you thinking???!!! he needs to see him TODAY!!! 

then it was back to...Surgery? Yes!  Dr.? No.

long story short. 

he forgot to put his hearing aids in and wanted me to go in with him.  I was not fit to be civil to anyone and yet I knew I needed to go.  So we get into the room.  BP taken. and she turns to him and says...Why are you here today?  The little fireworks growing from sparklers in my brain to a 4th of July display start igniting.  Yes, I see you were referred out to a surgeon but why are you here?  me "explaining".  Terry, quietly patting my hand, shaking his head no-no...Uh, honey.  I realize that I'm in way to deep emotionally and so plain old mad, that I say so, in front of the nurse, and tell him I'm leaving the room.  He says--oh, no, honey.  stay.  His eyes, sparkling with relief that I wanted to exit, let me know that he was not sincere in wanting me to stay!  I reminded him he couldn't hear, said good luck!, and theatrically (I'm certain of that!) exited stage left!

I did try to be nice when I came in and asked the receptionist if she was the one I'd been rude to earlier and she smilingly said no, that would be the call center staff.  I was relieved by that fact.

Oh, no sense in telling any more details.  when you err aren't you suppose to repent, let it go, and move on?  Doesn't merit retelling.  I'd barely recovered from the last time that I said I would not leave the clinic until someone told me about his test.  Is that a sit-in?  might I have been ushered out by security?

I received a beautiful note of love from a friend.  I told Terry that it made me so nervous.  Being a co-dependent (ever in recovery!!  one emotion away from crashing) you feel if they really knew me, I mean really knew me, then they wouldn't even like me!

Terry was comforting in a total male way...don't worry.  They see the real you through your blog so no one is fooled.  you have to love the guy for trying to make me feel better!  

So I finally repented last night before bed or I knew I couldn't sleep and I knew that I was much less than what I should have been.  Yes.  I needed to take action.  but the battle gear?  Not needed.  Not necessary.  should have just stuck to my guns, stayed calm and persistent.  Even in being endlessly given the run around, I should have been more patient.

After all it's only been since Feb. 10th!!! 

Still have ill will rumbling in my soul?  Methinks so!! 

And listen, you have a great day!  okay?

by 9am I will have let this totally go.  I will have worked my way through this. My self-imposed deadline.   

 

 

you are patient

and I really appreciate that fact.  It's irritating to follow a blog and then have the blogger be a flake!  I do not pride myself on that fact!  I like M-F and have it be posted early morning.  That being said...sorry I didn't keep my own standards.

I read something about a month ago and I just keep thinking about it.  I just enjoyed the thought so much that I want to share it this morning....

excerpt from 1963 CR by President David O. McKay...

    What that Statue of Liberty has symbolized to the oppressed and downtrodden of Europe, the gospel of Jesus Christ is to the world.

  The Restored gospel, the Church, has reared an Ensign to the nations...and invites the world to peace, to rest, to contentment.

 
Still on de-junk but hit a bit of a roadblock.  Taking care of hubby.  Now why on earth a grown man, capable in so many ways, would make me think he needs any sort of tending is beyond me.  Waiting to hear what they want to do about his gall bladder problem.  Still.  Resistance is low and he ends up with a bad head cold (you mean there are some good ones?)  Germ laden from hacking and such and then he hugs me!!  Acky!!!  I must have breathed deeply as this morning I to feel that cold coming on.  We have this great OTC medicine Sambucol and I'm having confidence it will do it's thing!  I don't think it helped things that Terry left the couch and climbed into bed last night.   I must have inhaled a truckload of invisible gremlins.  Funny how you grow older and get to be a fuss budget of sorts.  As a Mother, when my children were young, especially small enough to snuggle, I never gave any of that sort of thing a thought.  Many a child was made well by me rocking them and holding them close and kissing them.

Have a wonderful day!

Snails pace!

What a Thursday!  Terry had the test.  Couldn't get things working for the observation on the new peek at his innards.  Ended up giving him a chocolate candy bar and a carton of whole milk.  He told them that would set him off  (he's been on NO fat eating).  The gal said she had no choice....Sorry.  He did as told.  She got her moving of the organs shot and he ended up with a several hours long gall bladder attack.  Poor fellow.  Such pain.  We are both glad it didn't last all night.  Very thankful for that.  Seems he doesn't have gall stones but what on earth is going on??????  Come on medical pros!!!  Help my darling man!!!  Now everyone will be passing on information (molasses slow!) between Doctors and clinic and hospital and hopefully in a week we will know the facts!  I like to deal with facts....not guessing and hearsay and maybes and perhaps and etc., don't you?

Sleep is so restorative.  How thankful I am for a roof over my head, a comfy bed, and the hope of a wonderful relaxing tomorrow!

I need to go to the Temple.  Yes.  I need that.

marking time...

(Today my mind is focusing on Terry.  By the time you read this he will be having yet another test to determine what to do about his gall bladder.  Why on earth they don't just remove it is beyond me!)

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