Fizzled. Frazzled.

There are days that I have such marvelous grandiose plans and sometimes it results in one huge fizzle.  sort of like a firecracker that lets off a whistle and then becomes nothing more than a dud. 

Last night I was so excited about our RS meeting.  It carried over and today I was moved to whip together a couple of Quiche as Linda demo'd for us.  She showed it was quick, simple, and delish!  So I purchased all the needed ingredients this morning, printed the recipe and proceeded with my plan.

The plan being one for us (Hubby & I) and one for Brenda and Mike.  Brenda had a serious accident and spends most of her time recuperating in bed.  So our RS sisters have brought in meals for a few weeks.  I've heard how yummy the meals have been and some of the neat things they have enjoyed eating.  My turn was today.  It seemed a great idea to make her a quiche.

True I've never made a "real" quiche but it seemed very simple when I saw it last night.  I decided to make a fresh spinach one.  I think that was my mistake.  Everything looked good, smelled good etc. etc. BUT when it baked the spinach leaves sort of rose to the top, browned up and it looked like the front yard, in the fall, when dead leaves are strewn all over.

Why didn't I just go by a pizza?  I had to further humiliate myself and oh, yes...I took it over to them.  Brenda is the head of all the school's lunch programs in Granger and can put out dinner for 200 without batting an eye.  I bring her this puny looking leaf infested wanna be quiche, carrot sticks and dill pickles!!!  Where did those "side dishes" come from?  And the redemptive treat (not the cake I was going to make.  oh, no.)  2 different types of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

Plus I still need a haircut and my perm has made my hair look like a dandelion puff ball and I shook the Worcestershire with the lid loose and it flew all over me and it's so dark and super sticky!!  Uh-huh.  I wore the blouse to her house!!

Terry kept mentioning about real men don't eat quiche and that didn't help either. 

Nothing went as planned.  I so wanted to waltz in, all coiffed and aproned, with a delectable dish for Brenda.  Not so.

I told Terry what I really wanted to do had fizzled.  He told me it was a kind thought.

That reminded me of something that gets me through a lot of life.  The Lord knows my heart.  He knows the truth of it.  He knows all of my desires and intentions.  No matter how things may look to an outsider looking in, He sees to the core of my soul and He knows me. 

How thankful I am for the Scriptures and the Gospel that brings me to the Scriptures.  How thankful I am that when I'm feeling all thumbs that He knows what I was trying to do.  What comfort there is in that!! 

I feel better just thinking of His love for each of us.  Don't you?

"...for the Lord seeth not an man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."
                                        1 Samuel 16:7  

The Better Part!!!

It started off to be one of those days that felt a bit awry.  The air conditioning stopped working and I love coolness.  I need a haircut.  real bad.  or do I need it badly? either way.  I need to make an appointment!  I didn't really feel the Spirit like I'd like.  I didn't feel particularly nice.  sort of unfriendly.  anti-social.  Not LDS-like. 

I prayed.  I got a little comfort blessing.  And then I brought out the big guns.  The one thing that helps me.  Always.  Read the scriptures.  I have experienced, more times than I like to admit, the truth of these words, spoken in 1966, by President Kimball....

"I find that when I get casual in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no divine ear is listening and no divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scripture the distance narrows and the spirituality returns.  I find myself loving more intensely those whom I must love with all my heart and mind and strength..."

When I eventually felt that promised sweetness of returning Spirit, the entire day took on a different hue.  Things worked out...the air cooled, caring feelings returned, I felt kinder, my hair was still needing to be cut but that was okay.  In the midst of these good feelings, there was a knock on the door, and there stood Julianna with a plate of cookies.  Fresh from the oven. We sat and visited and got better acquainted as she is new in the Ward.  It was such a nice time to talk about matters of the heart.

The day was topped off by our monthly RS meeting.  What an absolutely great time we had.  I love the feeling of being with LDS women.  There is a happiness, a sisterhood that is permeable.  Our women visit a lot.  They laugh a lot.  They care a lot.  They share a lot. They do a lot of good in our Ward and our community.  Some are young in years and some young in heart but all blend and accept each other as they are. It is the most healing place in the world to be with these great women when they are at any RS function.  You can't help but feel better, no matter what you felt like when you arrived!!  They are so alive!!  So engaging!!  Their presence is a paradox of soothing  and energising all at the same time!!  It's a bit of heaven!!

I thought of this quote by Elder Talmage about women seeking balance.  Well, that's my take on it.  I think RS is all about striving to live life to the fullest with balance!

“By inattention to household duties, the little touches that make or mar the family peace, many a woman has reduced her home to a comfortless house; and many another has eliminated the essential elements of home by her self-assumed and persistent drudgery, in which she denies to her dear ones the cheer of her loving companionship. One-sided service, however devoted, may become neglect. There is time for labor inside the home as in the open; in every family time should be found for cultivating that better part, that one thing needful – true spiritual development (James Talmage, Jesus the Christ, 403).”

A regular love fest!!!

There is something to be said for being in places where people are present because they want to be!  It's a feeling of anticipation, delight, excitement, happiness.  People are loving what they are doing!  Vacation destinations are that way.  An entirely different feeling than say, the dentist waiting room or waiting to renew your driver's licence at the DMV or sitting waiting for slow traffic to move. 

This summer was filled with spending time with family but also strangers that were on the same wavelength.  We had all chosen the same place to enjoy ourselves be it Seattle, Leavenworth or McCall.  None of us were disappointed and I believe that we each added to the others good time. 

Saturday I spent the morning with people that share my faith.  Temple attenders.  We'd not really planned to go Saturday morning but plans changed and we were there for the 9:30am session.  When we pulled into the parking lot, we were caught off guard, with the number of cars, in what seemed to be every available space!  Finding a spot to park and stepping out, the feeling in the air, was celebratory!  There were people milling about.  People posing for pictures.  A YSA group having a group shot taken.  People sitting outside, of all ages, on the ledges waiting for others to come out of the Temple.  People laughing and talking.  Happy people!

The similarities were striking to my family vacation time but enhanced in that entering the Temple anteroom, I could feel the anticipation and the joy and excitement of everyone. It was startling to feel awash in the overwhelming feeling of love. I was seeing joy on people's faces and it was actually tangible. Each was waiting for the Temple entrance doors to open and have a fresh-faced newlywed couple come out and greet friends and family. 

We happened to be there on a day that there were 11 weddings going on!!  Truly, love permeated the air!!

In RS Michelle shared that she'd seen 3 wedding couples on the Temple grounds, visiting and having pictures taken.  Myra Faye and Bob, worked that Saturday morning Temple session and I think she said they were assigned 5 brides/grooms.  What a great assignment that would be!!!  To help them feel comfortable and relaxed and enjoy their wedding day!

I was standing in a hall waiting for the session to start when the sealing room, at the far end of the hall, emptied out.  All of the invited guests, family and friends exited and passed right in front of me.  Each person just looked joyous.  There were some dabbing their eyes.  All were smiling.  Many young couples, holding hands or arms around waists, walked past and you could see and feel their happiness.  It was a never to be forgotten day!

It was a memorable day filled with friendship when we saw Ward members enjoying their Temple service.  I was happy to see Bob and Myra Faye, Nick and Orba, and Nate- all Temple workers from our Ward.  Plus others I knew from Sunnyside and Yakima.

Usually I feel so much peace from the moment I step into the Temple but this was the first time I felt it coupled with excitement in the air and pervading love. It felt romantic with so many starting their married lives on that day!!!  It was great!!  Sigh.

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Surely this is not an onerous burden!

It is a privilege.  A temple recommend is one of the

highest accolades we may receive.  to use it

regularly permits us to participate in the

choicest gifts within the keeping of the Church.

Those who attend feel a special spirit there.  Peace comes. 

And I know that blessings will follow you home from the Temple.

                                                  --by Elder A. Theodore Tuttle- 1982 

The Real Deal!!!

The bookclub I belong to is very small.   9 or so members.  I really enjoy it as I find the women interesting and I admire their passion for reading.  I too love to read but we don't read the same type of books.  The bookclub exposes me to a variety of great books that I would never think to choose on my own.  Truth be told, I've been fudging by not reading the books, many times.  Usually I buy the books but they never seem to quite get read.  I love the company and love to hear their take on what they read!  I did lead one discussion and really had fun doing so.  So I decided to be more engaged and determined to not only buy the book but read it.  I quickly read The Help in preparation for the movie that we may go see as a group.  Then I started on Seabiscuit.  To me it's a labor intensive book.  The print is so small.  I read forever and was only on page 37!!  Yikes!! there are 339 pages plus lots of notes.  Except for Two Old Women, I don't think I've ever recommended a book to read. 

Desiring to turn a new page, be more involved as a reader/contributor, I thought I'd keep an eye open for some books that might be appropriate as suggested reading.  My email inbox today had a note....  from Oprah's Bookclub.  The subject was....Books That Will Lift Your Spirits.  What a time to show up!  so I clicked on it and my goodness sakes.....there were more books than I'd read it a lifetime.  I was clicking and looking and reading synopsis of the the suggestions and then I noticed IT.  Over to the right was an ad for Life 2.0 to be broadcast on OWN.  Here is the promo text....

Life 2.0 follows a group of people whose lives are dramatically transformed by the virtual world Second Life. They enter a new reality, whose inhabitants assume alternate personas in the form of avatars - digital alter egos that can be sculpted and manipulated to the heart’s desire. The film is an intimate, character-based drama about people who look to a virtual world in search of something they are missing in their real lives.

I was stunned with what I read!  Avatars!  Oprah promoting Avatars??!  Oprah who prides herself on helping everyone maximize their potential!?  Oprah, who shares all that she knows- to help mankind live a better, fuller, richer, fulfilling life?  Embracing Avatar-ism??!!  Surely not!  Impossible to fathom!

My mind flashed back to .....

Things as They Really Are

By Elder David A. Bednar

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

(From a Church Educational System fireside address delivered at Brigham Young University–Idaho on May 3, 2009.   In June of 2010 it was printed in the Ensign.)

That article had stunned me when I first read it.  I thought the name of the movie Avatar was just some made up name.  I had no idea that it was an actual word.  I had become aware of how addicting x-box, the game was, and the havoc it could cause with an individual and fan out into the household and other family members.  But Avatar's?  a new thing to me.

Elder Bednar does not mince words.  He speaks clearly and covers all bases as you'd expect an Apostle to do as he declares a clear voice of warning.  Today I remembered this paragraph from that talk that mentions those words- Second Life.  I thought it was something he'd coined.  I had no idea that Second Life exists out there in the atmosphere of cyber space.  here are 2 paragraphs from the most powerful talk I've ever read about perils of the Internet.

1- "I raise an apostolic voice of warning about the potentially stifling, suffocating, suppressing, and constraining impact of some kinds of cyberspace interactions and experiences upon our souls. The concerns I raise are not new; they apply equally to other types of media, such as television, movies, and music. But in a cyber world, these challenges are more pervasive and intense. I plead with you to beware of the sense-dulling and spiritually destructive influence of cyberspace technologies that are used to produce high fidelity and that promote degrading and evil purposes."

2- "Let me provide another example of disconnecting gradually and physically from things as they really are. Today a person can enter into a virtual world, such as Second Life, and assume a new identity. An individual can create an avatar, or a cyberspace persona, that conforms to his or her own appearance and behavior. Or a person can concoct a counterfeit identity that does not correlate in any way to things as they really are. However closely the assumed new identity approximates the individual, such behavior is the essence of things as they really are not. Earlier I defined the fidelity of a simulation or model. I now emphasize the importance of personal fidelity—the correspondence between an actual person and an assumed, cyberspace identity....."

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Take some time and read this amazing talk.  Prophets seem to always give us a heads up ahead of time!  Noah warned the people in advance.  Elder Bednar (and Elder Packer is also quoted in this talk) have sent this clear warning message and it's been out there since May 2009.  Two full years!  We better get a handle on this Avatar activity and make sure we understand the danger, the lethal danger of Second Life and realize this is soul destructive, family destroying, marriage-ending in results.

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Here are 2 comments found in the article I read in the Oprah promo of the new show.  Two Second Life Avatar addicts.

1- I am a person that is always on Second Life but I do know how to have a real life to. I was once into secondlife so much that I almost forgot about my real life. It takes motivation for yourself to get off of the computer and get out and do something. If you or a loved one is addicted to SL or just the computer in general, try to help them and do things with them. If that means just taking a walk out in the neighborhood then do that. That is the only way that you can help people in an addiction such as this one. It will take time for them to realize that they have a real life but don't force them and tell them to do this and do that. You have to be with them and help them. With a computer addiction such as this one, it is hard to get away.It brings comfort to people. What they need to know is that they have friends and family that can show them how much better their real life is compared to their second life. If you have to go to the extreme, then do that, just help that person, don't separate yourself from that person.

2-Second life has ruined my real life. My wife became addicted and her SL (Second Life) has become more important than her RL (Real Life). We separated after just 15 months of marriage. She started out innocently enough in the SL World, But then began staying up until 1am - 2am on days when she had to get up at 6:30am to go to work at her RL job. On weekends, she would sometimes stay up until 5am - 6am, then sleep most of the day.She has left family functions early, and she has taken 1/2 days off at her real job in order to work her SL job as a club hostess. She has even contemplated having people she has met there (one is a convicted sex offender in real life) move in with her in real life as a "roommate".Every time I stop by to visit her unannounced, she is on the computer, in Second Life. This has been going on for about 18 months, and I have finally asked for a divorce.

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I believe in Prophets and their counsel is not to be taken lightly. Ever.

The mulling things over continues!!

The gathering for Terry's trip is picking up. I deleted his ticket to FL and then deleted the deleted but Travelocity helped me out so that is printed and in the drawer with his passport.  His passport picture looks like a mugshot of a corpse!  Not trying to be mean or rude.  Truly.  He is shocked at how dreadful it is.  When we looked at it on the day it was taken it didn't look that horrible.  Oh, boy!!  Not good!!

Remenants of McCall have been boxed up and ready to mail to owners....a motel key, a condo towel, a sunhat, a t-shirt, some hoop earrings with CTR engravened, plus a suit for Terry that I ordered the wrong size- ready for return to catalog company. a stack of boxes.

The Humanitarian project was a lot of effort on the part of one or two people and it seemed to me the project never got off the ground.  That's just me.  Maybe the other 7 gals felt different but I wondered what the goal was.  I was loading my school supplies in a box as they were going to a local school.  I sorted the glue sticks and the crayons and readied them for delivery.  As I did that relatively quick task, I was thinking of Somalia again and that child in the hospital with flies sticking out of their nose and felt conflicted about the necessity of pencils for the nearby grade school.  Somehow or other I need to do something beyond the Humanitarian donation that really impacts my heart.  Maybe it's because I never see the recipient.  Maybe it's because I don't do enough of the local Humanitarian projects to feel the Spirit.  There is a gal that lives, eats and breathes these projects.  She feels it is her mission.  Maybe I haven't found my mission yet?  Or am I just a rebel without a cause?  Maybe I need to repent?

Something More!

Each year our Stake has an annual Humanitarian Activity right around school time, when all the supplies are on sale, for us to purchase and help fill school bags.  These will go to SLC and be sent throughout the world.  some of the supplies will will be donated to local schools.

There I was at Wal-Mart checking the supply list and putting the requested/suggested items in my cart.  They were great prices and I enjoyed checking things off the list. Boxes and packages quickly piled up.

My mind kept losing focus.  I was battling within trying to quiet thoughts of....People are starving in Somalia.  Parents are burying children daily.  There is no food available.  No water.  No medicine.  I remembered the slide show I saw online, with Mothers holding skeletal children, so near death.  Children with flies crawling all over their face. It makes me tear up.

Here I am buying pencils and crayons and pencil sharpeners and black ink pens and all sorts of school goodies.  Here I am also thinking of the fabric I ordered for those quilts, the money I spent, that possibly the material will just stay flat folds of fabric.  But really where my heart is, where my sorrow is...starvation and deprivation throughout the world.  No woman, in my circle of friends in the sisterhood of RS, could resist sharing and caring for a dirty starving child within her vision.  It's the reaching around the world, that seems to be the perplexity that borders at time on casualness, on my part, in the take action department.   

I do not wonder where God is and why He allows this to happen and why He doesn't fix this.  That is not the answer.  I am His hands.  I am the answer.  If it's to be... it's up to me.  If not me?...who?   If not now?...when?

It's balance and perspective, don't you think?  I can do with less.  I can buy a few less school supplies.  I can use the fabric I have on hand with the new fabric I ordered and not buy more.  I can be more frugal in my spending and determine to give more to the Humanitarian fund.  To increase that small consistent amount to a bit more.

I am responsible for the poor.  I am to seek them out.  I was stunned when I went with the Bishop to a welfare meeting some time back and that is what we were told-- Do not wait for the poor to seek you out.  You seek out the poor. 

We will always have the poor with us.  that is scriptural.  Also to know to do good and to do it not?...that is sin.  that is also scriptural.

I need to pick it up a notch in making a difference in the world in small increments.  Perhaps very small but nonetheless...Something!!!

As the hymn says....

Have I Done Any Good?

(Sung Brightly)

 1. Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

[Chorus]
Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.

2. There are chances for work all around just now,
Opportunities right in our way.
Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,”
But go and do something today.
’Tis noble of man to work and to give;
Love’s labor has merit alone.
Only he who does something helps others to live.
To God each good work will be known.

[Chorus]
Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.

Text and music: Will L. Thompson, 1847–1909, alt.

James 1:22, 27

Alma 9:28

Self-indulgent

Self-indulgent...adj- readily yielding to temptations of ease or pleasure etc.

Today I gave myself the most luxurious day.  Especially lovely because it was without guilt from myself or a guilt trip from Hubby.  He is so wonderful in that way!  I'm about finished with the hacking and the tiredness from bronchitis and rest always speeds things along.  Today we pretty much finished sorting and packing all the McCall paraphernalia like air-mattresses etc. and storing it away.  It was a relaxed easy going day and the self-indulgence really kicked in when I spent the majority of the day reading!!  I have such a simple life and I love it!!!  This is a great time in my life. 

I now have a new project in mind for the 2013 McCall trip.  I'm going to make each family member a lap quilt.  Terry fell over with laughter at such an absurd idea.  So unrealistic!  so over the top!  so unreachable!  He thinks flannel tied together is the most wonderful blanket/quilt in the world.  He wanted to know if they would be warm and comfortable or just artistic.  He laughed so hard that I now will make one less than I originally planned!!  None for him!  He's probably right on my harebrained idea but it's sort of bucket list time in my life and this is on my list!!  That averages one a month for 2 years and I have a couple of quilt tops done so I'm already ahead of the game!!  Just the tops are done.   Not the finished quilt!  And a lap quilt isn't that big is it?  And now here I am yakking about my big plan.  On birthday night at McCall I'll give them their lap quilts!  Oh, yes....I'm truly a brick shy of a full load!!  Hopefully Terry will not be here when my ordered fabric arrives!!!  He will laugh himself silly over that arrival!!

Terry is getting ready to go to Norway with our daughter.  First he will fly to Florida, go to Jeanee's and then from there....up, up and away.... they will soar to the land of lefse, lutefisk, lederhosen, horned helmets,  high prices, flotegrot (real poor man's pudding!), fjords and cold weather.  You could not pay me to fly for 14 hours to see another country.  I do not enjoy flying.  Actually I detest it, if the truth be known!  I love when I arrive at destination but not the journey.  He will be in heaven seeing the town that bears his family name!  Seeing relatives that he's not yet met.   This is on his bucket list!! 

Regarding the blog about the fellow that died and how hopeless he was and also the reader response....Shannon found that blog for me and now I'm figuring out how to tell the fellow that there is life after this life and it will be wonderful.  Thanks so much, Shannon!!

I believe in enjoying each day as much as possible and today I enjoyed my entire day! 

I hope you did also!

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A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance.... Prov. 15:13

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.... Prov. 17:22