it is what it is....

and I'm thankful for that fact.  Thankful to be reminded that there was no cancer.  Engaged in 15 minutes of disappointment in car and another 25 minutes when I got home- being told I'm still on my "restriction of heavy lifting and over doing things" for 6 more weeks!

 I had a hernia, in my navel, and the surgeon had to repair that and it needs more healing time without that stress of lifting and a bit more inner healing of the actual hysterectomy.  So- on my birthday will be my day to celebrate total freedom of picking up vacuum and navigating porch furniture etc.

Let's face it...I'm not some weight lifter readying myself for some world class event or a female wrestler looking towards the Olympics nor am I involved in some over the top strenuous gym workout and I'm not even into preparing for some sort of Marathon race.  I was reminded of that fact, when she was talking to me about the importance of walking even 5 minutes and build up to 30 minutes and do it 3 times a week, and making sure I eat food with fiber and it isn't actually the prunes that gets things moving but it's the fiber in the prunes and do eat one apple a day.  My eyes started glazing over with the discourse on dieting and again I thought...it's amazing that trim folks, at times, think fatty folks have no brains and these ideas have never even entered their minds on exercise or eating!

To her credit...she was very nice, hadn't ever met me, and was very thorough.  My amazing surgeon was missing because she was sick!  I did miss seeing her to thank her.

So life moves ahead and with gratitude and thankfulness for the good things that are going on and the healing within that is still in progress will be aided by me minding my p's & q's!  (does anyone even say that in this day and age?)

One fond memory of that time was sent to me by my darling daughter, a few weeks ago.  Truly we had the best time.

So last time of this subject.  From my girl!....

I will never forget our 4 days together in Seattle. It was a wonderful Mother/Daughter trip... we just added the hysterectomy to get it out of the way while we were up there...  It was absolutely priceless on every level. The beautiful sunny no-snow  drive up, the unpacking in our Healing Hotel, going to a delicious seafood meal at sunset over the water and seeing the skyline and boats, going to all of the meetings, blood draw with the guy who thought he was a comedian... not funny at all, hearing your brilliant Dr. say how she would pull your ovaries, tubes, uterus,and cervix out of your v. ... with no emotion... and don't forget, no inserting objects for 10 weeks... the dark, early morning, signing you in, you getting prepped, take everything off and "put this tiny piece of material on backwards"..., you being fully awake in the operating room-reminding them to put you out before cutting... me waiting 5 hours to hear from the Dr.,  finally going back and seeing your beautiful face. Nurse Dana telling me you made her day with the line "I'd rather not have cancer today." Being drugged and naughty to the nurses, repenting so sweet that you made her cry and fall in love with you, Going to recovery in your own room, another needle in the arm, painful blood pressure squeeze, adorable cute male nurse- turned into horrible male nurse, your arm rapidly swelling in size, name bracelet tight, burning fire of potassium chloride infused in your flesh, you peeing for the first time, then finally getting the IV's out and leg massage cuffs off and suddenly you're in your own clothes and into a wheel chair and tenderly into the car and slowly and carefully up the stairs and slowly and carefully into the most comfortable bed and sleep for both of us.Seriously the best sleep and most comfortable bed and feeling.  naps all day, bites of Qdoba salad, great night sleep, wonderful next day together in sweet silence and chatting, you walking a bit wanting to get strong, Chinese food dinner, more precious sleep and watching Olympics. Kip saying pass is closed, then open, go now, nervous but strong, Packing the car up, you walking down stairs and getting into the car for our snow and ice adventure, surrounded by 16 wheelers putting chains on... then out of the blue, 6 snow plow boys to the rescue, two in front, two beside and two behind...plowing the ice and snow for us, then they exit and blue skies appear. I'd say you have a few angels watching over you.

The most peaceful feeling being together. No stress, no fighting, just absolute love. I will never forget it.

I love you Momma, you are extraordinary.

Jeanee

(Do I dare even post this blog?  I have friends and family members that really suffer and really have pain and really have diseases and I'm whining for even a few minutes because I can't put a very heavy cast iron pan in my oven?  I'm embarrased to even think of that thought but...I did feel disappointed for a few minutes and that's my truth and you know me by now ...I speak my truth and sometimes it's not lovely!)