Water Watch....

In 1946 Hugh B. Brown wrote a letter to a friend that was going through a personal crisis of faith.  It was never published until now!  His personal secretary enjoyed it so much she asked if she could make a copy and he granted permission as long as she took the individuals name off.  She did that and stowed it in her personal belongings.  Her Grandson is now sharing it.  I enjoyed how he wrote!

this one sentence is so true to me....I assume that you will enjoy it also.

I have come through my own experiences with the conviction that prayer is comradeship with God; indeed, I doubt if I could have endured some recent experiences if I had not had that refuge.

so interesting.....here

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I am not going, nor have been going through a faith crisis.  I have definitely been going through a mortality crisis in figuring out how to balance my life.  My faith is the one anchor that I hold onto...maybe sometimes clinging desperately.  Hmmm...maybe feeling a loss of Spirit is a faith crisis?  Not a total loss but enough to notice?  I do focus on Christ and He is the Rock of my life.  The very thought of Him helps me weather the storms of life.

That being said... I am thinking of one of my two favorite scripture incidents that are so powerful to me.  Peter walking on the water towards Christ.  The weather so bad and yet Peter, anxious to try a water walk, steps off, and keeps his eyes on the Savior.  Well, he did for a bit and then he started looking at the stormy weather and he sank. 

He was rescued the second he cried out and was lifted by Christ who questioned...why did you doubt?  I know way down in my soul that the very thought of Christ, in a  life-crisis moment, and those wet steps that Peter took are me also.  IF I focus on Christ and be aware of my personal life storms but not focus on them keeps me upright.  Being aware is enough because I know then what my personal challenges are but I don't need to focus 24/7 on the storms in my life but keep my eye on Christ and He will help me weather all mortal storms. 

I think perhaps I found myself, before stepping off the boat for my faith trek, that I decided to slip on a life vest.  A  just in case flotation device.  Making sure that I covered all bases and preventing me from sinking?  Even with that precaution, I found my self-reliance let me down!  I found myself bobbing in the turbulence...sputtering...gasping...frantic...trying to figure out what to do to right myself.  All the time the Savior waited for me to realize that I was weighing myself down needlessly and He was there watching my determination, waiting for my strength to wane, waiting for me to pleadingly turn to Him with faith.  He always lifts. 

True I have to let some things go.  A sister asked me last night how I was doing.  I told her I was trying to regroup and I felt I'd been flying duo as I had for so many years and it's starting to don on me that in some respects I'm flying solo.  Not every single thing but some things and it's taking time to adjust.

In that adjusting...I realize that the choices I make, for my own spiritual safety/spiritual enjoyment and sanity-- the Lord/the Church/my attendance/my activity/my service have to be lumped at the top of any to-do list as #1.  I think, in feeling overwhelmed, that I the regular things of life, those things that are necessary and can eat up 24 hours in a blink of the eye, had morphed into #1.

So I'm revamping (AGAIN??) and increasing my faith through more consistent acts of obedience.  Feeling that the Lord will compensate and help me with the other things.  Making sure that I do, even a dabble, in Family History/genealogy.  Okay...I know I have to more than dink around dabbling but to go from sub-zero to a dabbling is quite the leap.  (by the way...Natalie, I got your letter about being generous in helping me.  Terry is just like you in his enthusiasm so I do have help right here!  that was so sweet of you to offer!!)

Weekly Temple attendance has to stay up in firm place.  and the list goes on.  A list just like yours-- that you want to do out of love and testimony and also look forward to feeling the Spirit and seeing the blessings roll in.

I have said before...I have no idea how blessings actually transpire but I do know they do.  I don't know how tithing works but I know it does.  I don't know how going into the Temple can make you feel different Spiritually but I know it does.  I don't know how reading the Scriptures
cause me to experience the Spirit and feel my testimony increase as I silently say...I know that is true. whether it is something I read or heard from a Conference talk or other inspired authoritative talks. 

I also am thankful to feel a closeness to the Spirit when I pray and receive personal revelation.  I don't know the workings of these things...I only know they do work and I do love them and more important than on my to-do list of trying to figure out how to balance, what to me is a new life, is to make absolutely sure that the Lord, His Church and my activity at home or attending Temple/or meetings is my main list.  Doing things, that need improvement, to increase my personal spiritual experiences is paramount be it Genealogy or Sabbath observance or fasting or really working on anything that increases faith will keep me safe and walking on water towards the Savior.