How long does it take a person to incorporate the expectations of Gospel living into their life and it becomes natural and a to-do check off list is no longer needed? I'm not sure. I know when I first joined the Church, all those years ago, that it felt as though there was some invisible book filled with as many laws as the Mosaic law. The reality was that it actually was rather straightforward and simple in what was expected but the actual incorporating of a newness of lifestyle, and in many cases a discard of old lifestyle, seemed nearly insurmountable.
Strong desire and doing became a habit and eventually became a great strength and comfort to me and it still is. Learning to pray and then learning to pray and feel I was being heard was a huge thing to me!! and again...it still is! Prayer and Temple and Scripture Study and Attending Meetings and Accepting Callings and Paying Tithing and Storing Food and Helping Others and and and and...the list goes on.
My adherence to my precious Gospel Living Life brings me joy and strength and peace and comfort and personal soul power.
I'm feeling my lifestyle religiously has perhaps become to rote. I've decided that I must up the ante in order to figure out how to cope with mortality and the challenges on my daily list. Even doing those things that I've come to lean on and glean from for strength and comfort...favorite scriptures... Conference talks...hymns...fasting...Temple attendance...prayer etc. I still find myself wanting/needing more.
You have heard my struggles and laments as I have tried to figure out how to do things but actually how is not the challenge...what is the challenge. What do I need? I need greater spiritually strength and that comes from doing more.
I think after you get the routine of religious behavior/actions into your life, even after many years, there can come a sense of coasting a bit? Just a bit of breezing along on level ground. Sometimes feeling a spiritual high and sometimes feeling a decline in Spirit. I know this happens to all of us and have always enjoyed what President Kimball said, and I also can really reign myself in, and get a needed boost and assistance, by doing as he said and immersing myself in the scriptures.
In studying and contemplating and pondering the last while, I have several thoughts that have stayed in my mind. They are rolling around and present themselves for me to take action.
#1- In connection with the Temple dedication at Kirtland (and all things spoken at Temple dedications apply to ALL of us) I enjoyed this verse...
109:15 And that they may grow up in thee, and receive a fullness of the Holy Ghost, and be organized according to thy laws, and be prepared to obtain every needful thing.
I could go on and on about my feelings on this verse but the reality is...I do want to grow up!
It's hard for my mind to list the thoughts rumbling and tumbling around but I will do that sorting soon!
Yesterday my Temple visit was amazing and strengthening and revelatory in direction to take. I am feeling the confirmation of being on the right track. I feel confident and happy about what I'm taking on. Change is good when it's good change you are going after!
Later on things beyond #1!
Today is General Women's Conference! So excited and looking forward to hearing what is said and being with other believers!
Terry and I listened/watched the Messiah broadcast. It is amazing the amount of info, great spiritual/beautiful/inspiring data available through the Church. This is the best time to be alive!! Even if a person in some ways is housebound, they can be fed unlimited amounts of goodness via the Internet. so appreciative and thankful!
(PS- Natalie- thank you for your beautiful letter)
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