to absorb...

Today the scripture Mark 14:8 has just stuck with me.  Actually just 6 words...out of context but so powerful...She hath done what she could....  I am going to keep this in my thoughts and life.  What  sensible guidance but so profound.  I'm loving just thinking about it and incorporating it into my personal life.  In my mind I will add something in brackets...She hath done what she could (without guilt). Ever feel guilty over not measuring up because you don't do enough?  Christ is the one that said these words and it is so powerfull!!!

Mark 14:3-9

3 ¶ And being in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head.

4 And there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this ^awaste of the ointment made?

5 For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her.

6 And Jesus said, Let her alone; why trouble ye her? she hath wrought a good work on me.

7 For ye have the ^apoor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always.

8 She hath done what she could: ^ashe is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying.

9 Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that ^ashe hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial of her.

ask God...

Technology...so marvelous on so many levels!  Yesterday we listened and watched the Face to Face for YA right as it happened.  I'm as amazed and thankful for this gift of immediacy as I am for the constant source of running water from my taps!  Do you want to watch it?....broadcast

One of the statements that really touched me was the fact that Joseph Smith asked God for the answer to his question.  The listener question being addressed was about receiving answers to questions.  My mind held onto that fact...we ask God when we have questions...not Dr. Google or what some famous person says or the news or some disgruntled member or someone filled with supposition.  We ask God.

That led me to really think about the power of prayer and how thankful I am that through my membership in the Church I've learned to pray.  What a blessing that is to me.  To know how to pray and access my Father in Heaven through His Son Jesus Christ.  Truly thankful!

This morning I was still mulling over the ask God comment and being reminded that the fact of asking, is so important to me.  In my morning ponderings I remembered a Baptist hymn...Prayer Lifted Me.  As I started to run the lyrics through my mind, I realized it wasn't prayer...it was love.  It was titled...Love Lifted Me.

I remembered Dixie and I sitting side by side,  in a small basement Church that was the beginning of Faith Baptist Church in Spenard, Alaska.  The Preacher would call out that Hymn title and his wife would roll the chords across the piano keys and we would sing with all our hearts.  Sometimes he would feel to have us sing it again.  Sometimes he would preach in between our singing the second time, while his wife chorded in the background and then we'd go at it again. It was joyous!

Enjoy....Love Lifted Me   (a very large congregation here.  we didn't do that toe lift!)

Deceiving the Elect

Good morning to you!  It's Sunday and I wanted to drop a post.

Terry?...there are problems for sure.  I will take him back Friday, the 20th, to see how the blood tests come back and will bring you up to date on his health.  No sense speculating etc.

**************

In the meantime...Natalie- you have never "neglected" me.  Yes...it would have been fun to share our Church membership in high school and grow together in the Gospel but we are doing that now!  Doing our best to stay on the covenant path!  Love always to you!  xoxox

Speaking of the Covenant path...In all the years I've been in the Church I've heard about the Matthew scripture and the chaos and evils of the last days and ... if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect. Somehow or other it always came across that wouldn't really happen but if it were possible etc. etc.  The emphasis was always on the wickedness of the last days but somehow or other the very elect would not be deceived. 

For the first time in my recollection an Apostle has spoken and warned us and told us that some of the elect are being deceived!  Right now!!  He then explains how "de-conversion" comes about and what we need to watch for and what we need to do.  Did you already see/hear this?  If not...here are couple of paragraphs but do read the entire talk by Elder Ballard from a few days ago.  that is just a dab of what he said...read it all!!!  (I just realized that this was actually given in 2016 at a multi-stake conference in SLC area)  So the talk is new to me because I wasn't in that meeting in Salt Lake!)

(There will be a separation of the wheat from the tares in the Church.  Hymn #94.  and wolves in sheep clothing!  Isn't there a Hymn about that?)

************

Elder Ballard...here

I remind you of Jesus’s prophecy regarding the last days in which we now live: “For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect” (Matthew 24:24). We are saddened when we witness some of the “very elect” deceived, as Jesus warned.

*****************

They include sincere daily prayer, faithful fasting, regular study and pondering of the scriptures and the words of the living prophets, making the Sabbath day a delight, partaking of the sacrament with humility and always remembering the Savior, worshipping in the temple as often as possible, and, finally, reaching out to the poor and lonely—both those close by and across the world.

When someone stops doing these simple but essential things, they cut themselves off from the well of living water and allow Satan to muddy their thinking with his deceptively polluted water, which clogs arteries of faithfulness and drains the spirit with counterfeit nutrition. Sin and guilt cloud the mind—leading many to deny past inspiration and revelation and causing a “de-conversion” from the truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

(Look up 2 Cor. 11:3, 13:5)

Exit Lane Living!!!

Life has such a way of being Dorian-like on a personal level and it's been stormy for sure lately around here!  The real Dorian, so massive and destructive, was headed directly towards our daughter's family.  She sits right on the coast, on Merritt Island...you know...Cape Canaveral! They were fully prepared for the onslaught but it's nail biting for all concerned.  Mandatory evacuation of the island.  Dorian turned North, just enough to bypass them with devastation but left wind damage to many.  They were spared. 

At the same time...our son and his wife were traveling from Utah to New Mexico to see her parents.  A drunk driver, while they were driving through Cortez, hit them, on the drivers side.  Not on the door but just before the door and smashed in that entire section of the front.  They were spared.

At the same time...their daughter, our granddaughter in Utah, was diagnosed with Mono and had to quit her job and also her tonsils were so enlarged that they had to be removed.  She is painfully recovering.

At the same time...well, let's just say...life is challenging on the home front also!  I've been feeling that something is not right with Terry and had made the decision to call after Labor Day for a Dr. appointment.  Things took a massive turn though on Labor Day.  I realized I needed to take him to ER.  Called our son next door to help me get him ready.  Son (bless his heart. he has all sorts of pain that he deals with daily) rushed over and long story cut short...Terry had a full blown seizure and we both thought he had died right then and there.  I called 911.  Kip got his Dad on the floor on his side.  Police came and all sorts of other medics.  They did what needed to be done.  Words seared in my brain by attendants...CPR?...No. He's back.  Ambulance and ER and all sorts of blood work and scans and x-rays and watchful care of nurses by his bed.  Admitted to hospital.  Scheduled for outpatient MRI.  Blessings for both of us.  Beautiful blessings by Bishop and friend.  Released from Hospital.  Home.  Now MRI is done and Monday we will find out the goings on in his brain.  Whew!  I should say Over and Out but you know I won't.

He is much improved from how he was to start with.  I had not felt he was nearing a stroke when I had those concerns I mentioned earlier.  I never even considered a seizure.  This is what I do know.  I was aware that something was not right and for me to identify that something seems impossible to identify.  I'd written our children and told them of my concerns-- something was amiss and told them what I was seeing that felt/was different.  I think I blogged about a sleepless night I had over this situation.  And that eventually I felt peace...which always indicates to me that the Lord is aware of my personal going-on's (is that an actual word?)

So I gave you bare bones synopsis but enough to bring you into the current challenges in my life.

Is this when I turn this post into a booklet?  bitty essays?  I don't know.  maybe random yet connected dots in my mind?  I don't know but there are a few things that I do know.

I know my prayers are heard and always answered.  I may not get my request but I do get an answer and I do get help and I do know it is what is the best for me.  I rely on the examples scripturally of the Savior asking, in Gethsemane, for removal of the cup.  a cup of bitter pain.  That request did not happen but two angels came to comfort Him in answer.  Also in the Book of Mormon when the back burdens were so heavy and they pleaded for removal and that request was not answered but the burden was lightened and they didn't feel them. (Mosiah 24:13-17)  both times prayer requests did not happen but answers did come.

Sometimes I am absolutely positively certain, with no doubt, that my prayer is exactly what is needed and I with confidence ask for that request with full faith but many times, many times, I am off base.  Nevertheless...my prayer will be answered and if I open my mind I can see the answer in a most unexpected way.

Always at some point, after much prayer and study and pondering, patience in waiting- I will see and know ...this is the answer.  not as I requested but this is the Lord's answer.

Once I feel peaceful without knowing the outcome...I'm okay.

I'm fascinated with the comments in the BD about prayer.  Just like a combination lock...or all the ducks in a row or etc.  This paragraph is amazing to me...

As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

(this post is book length and not a booklet!!!)

Much like any car accident or traumatic event or unexpected shock ...I always have a delayed reaction.  I can get through the initial event and know with certainty that 3 or 4 days later, I will feel the pain surface.  Emotions will surface and tears and feeling overwhelmed will come.  I know this will happen like clockwork and I know what to do to heal and move on.  I just put on my robe...indulge in whatever I feel like doing...napping/binge watch mindless TV/eat chocolate-if I desire/talk to family/visit with a friend if the urge hits to do so...just totally create peace for unwinding and wading through the murkiness and muddiness until my path is cleared of debris of the reality of a life event...Not of my choosing but nonetheless mine to deal with.

They way this happened has a good side in my mind.  I knew something was wrong.  I listened to those feelings although I didn't know what was wrong.  I gave my children a heads-up.    I did realize I needed to get him help.  Happening the way it did...all of the necessary procedures were done in one fell swoop.  All of the blood work and lung ex rays and EKG and Cat Scan and on and on were systematically done.  One right after the other.  We didn't have to wait for appointments and sit for hours waiting our turn for a single test.  It was all done within hours and he was stretched out on a bed.  I was thankful for that.  He's already had the MRI and we already have an appointment for Monday.  I am thankful for that.

I feel at peace today.  I feel rested.  I feel thankful for so much.  Thankful I have the strength that I do to care for someone that I love so much.  Thankful for our children and grandchildren.  Thankful for running water and the feel of showering.  Thankful for the Gospel and my testimony of it.  Just on and on and on goes my gratitude.

I'm also thankful for friends.  Friends that stay in close touch and know me.  One friend, that I shared my earlier concerns with, picked me up that first night from the hospital as she knew it was late and dark and I don't see very good at night.  I rarely travel at night.  If ever!  She volunteered and came and got me.  We were driving along and she announced that my window was so dirty inside that she could barely see!!!  I'm still laughing over that scenario!  reminded me of that Church video about the woman with the dirty windows!  the next day she showed up with Windex and a roll of paper towels and cleaned my windows...inside and out!  Still makes me laugh over that conversation!  Last night I drove home in the dark from a late evening MRI and I could actually see!!  So many lessons in that incident!

None of us have sure knowledge of what tomorrow holds for us individually.  actually we don't even know the next hour!  I'm okay with that.  That is life.  It is what it is.  I don't know if I will be even more housebound.  I just don't know.  I do know that if  that turns out to be the case...it's a fantastic time for it to happen as the Church site is just filled to overflowing with things going on.  I/we can watch and enjoy so many things.

I now realize that blogging and sharing my feelings, with you, is one of the ways of the ways for me to create peace and recover from this emotional car-crash!!  Thanks for listening (or did the length of this epistle lose you?)

I checked...my feet are still on the Covenant Path!

Yawn.....zzzzzz

Chapter Book-Rabbit Hole

Down the rabbit hole meaning

Used especially in the phrase going down the rabbit hole or falling down the rabbit hole, a rabbit hole is a metaphor for something that transports someone into a wonderfully (or troublingly) surreal state or situation. On the internet, a rabbit hole frequently refers to an extremely engrossing and time-consuming topic. 

Sometimes my personal life and challenges converge with my study of spiritual things and I go down a wonderfully surreal state!... a rabbit hole!  One thing just seems to lead to another and I gain needed help for dealing with mortality and also a greater connection...a greater understanding of something spiritual.  I can feel the Spirit teaching me and I am thankful as thoughts of solutions and things of the Spirit do this wonderful converging!

For a few weeks life has been challenging with Terry's health issues.  I felt we'd hit a new-time low, and as I tried to regroup and figure out how to deal with another NewNormal, I went down a great rabbit hole.  I wonder if the wonder of it will even come across in my words?  I guess to just share, seemingly unrelated thoughts and talks, and perhaps you will enjoy these gems without having to research to find them!

I'm thinking this is a Chapter Book!  A small book.  A Booklet?  Whatever.  Enjoy!

Foreword

I was seeking help, prayerfully & tearfully, on how to deal with helping Terry (he does not have a disease and he is not bedridden but his balance is off and he can't really do much of anything.  his intense pain has decreased but we still have a lot of challenges and the work load is on me.  I am thankful I have that challenge and the strength to take care of "us".  so there you go.  in a nutshell.  Me feeling overcome and very overwhelmed with my life)

I was seeking help on that level and also studying the Come Follow Me program.  

These two scriptures were the beginning of my recent learning journey.  

Paul said, “The natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Corinthians 2:14).

Nephi said, "Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you" (1 Nephi 15:11).

Chapter 1

A Pattern for Learning Spiritual Things by Elder Paul V. Johnson... August 7, 2012 here  Speaking at Seminaries & Institute Broadcast

Nephi continued with a brief summary of the process for learning spiritual things: “Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you” (1 Nephi 15:11).

This pattern is crucial for our students to understand if they have questions about spiritual things. We can make the mistake of trying to resolve doubts about spiritual things by leaning exclusively on intellectual answers. Answers to spiritual questions are given to individuals who don’t harden their hearts; who ask in faith, believing they will receive; and who diligently keep the commandments. Even when we follow this pattern, we don’t control the timing of getting answers. Sometimes our answers come quickly, and sometimes we must place questions on the shelf for a time and rely on our faith that has developed from the answers we do know.

(this talk is just amazing and then as a bonus...he shares something 34 years previous to his talk.  It is the perfect talk to use with your family as an explanation about Prophetic counsel that changes current things in a major way!! In June 1978 it was announced that all worthy males could receive the Priesthood.  It was a shock wave that rolled over the Church members in many cases. This marvelous talk was given a few weeks later by a member of the 12. Enjoy!)

Bruce R. McConkie All Are Alike unto God.... here

“Forget everything that I have said, or what President Brigham Young or President George Q. Cannon or whomsoever has said in days past that is contrary to the present revelation. We spoke with a limited understanding and without the light and knowledge that now has come into the world.

“We get our truth and our light line upon line and precept upon precept. We have now had added a new flood of intelligence and light on this particular subject, and it erases all the darkness and all the views and all the thoughts of the past. They don’t matter any more.

“It doesn’t make a particle of difference what anybody ever said about the … matter before the first day of June of this year (1978)” (“All Are Alike unto God” [CES symposium on the Book of Mormon, Aug. 18, 1978], 2; http://si.lds.org).

Chapter 2

(marvelous talk by Elder Cook and I have always loved the wisdom in the Fosdick quote he shared)

Quinton Cook....here  The Eternal Importance of Righteous Choices  

(From devotional addresses given at Brigham Young University–Hawaii on November 20, 2018, and at the Utah Valley Institute of Religion on February 1, 2019.)

We need to understand that there is opposition in all things and that the righteous choices we make are critical.

When I was young, I was introduced to a statement by Harry Emerson Fosdick, a renowned Protestant minister. In speaking of choices, he said: “The tragic evils of our life are so commonly unintentional. We did not start out for that poor, cheap goal. That aim was not in our minds at all. … That is why the road to hell is always paved with good intentions, and that is why I am not celebrating high ideals, lofty aims, fine purposes, grand resolutions, but am saying instead that one of the most dangerous things in the world is to accept them and think you believe in them and then neglect the day-by-day means that lead to them. Ah, my soul, look to the road you are walking on! He who picks up one end of a stick picks up the other. He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determines the end.”

Chapter 3

More Than Conquerers through Him That Loves Us  

by Paul V. Johnson - April 2011 CR     here

We don’t seek out tests, trials, and tribulations. Our personal journey through life will provide just the right amount for our needs. Many trials are just a natural part of our mortal existence, but they play such an important role in our progress.

Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. … All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”5

Alma 36:3 And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their ^atrust in God shall be supported in their ^btrials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be ^clifted up at the last day.

Chapter 4

Acquiring Spiritual Guidance Elder Scott  here


Afterword

Elder Scott tells us to write things down when the Spirit speaks.  Because this Rabbit Hole experience happened a week ago, I see a note to myself that is a list of last names... Eyring...Nibley...Benson...McConkie...Hinckley...Scott...Johnson.  
I can't remember if they are mentioned in the talks I shared or what!!  True Elder Scott said to take notes when the Spirit speaks but I'd say for me...more detail than a last name!!

The End

Ever Learning...

A couple of weeks ago I went to an early Temple session. 8a.m.  a couple of hours later when I pushed open the doors to step back into the world, I was just stunned at how things looked and how the weather felt.  It was perfection!  I spontaneously broke into quiet song...being all alone gave me that license...off key and garbled words but feeling joy, I belted it out.  Can a person belt quietly?  I think so!  Oh, what a beautiful morning!...Oh, what a beautiful day!!  I've got a beautiful feeling!...everythings going my way!!!  My plodding steps felt light and lyrical and I felt like swinging a calico skirt.  It was unexpected to experience the entire, extremely brief moment, but the memory has stayed with me.  I knew it was the emotion, the heaven-sent feeling, of pure joy.  Fleeting but real.  Life is a paradox...a conundrum...a ying/yang...black/white and on and on and on.  Exhilarating and exhausting!

Belting out...is that akin to shouting for joy?  Did you and I shout for joy in our previous life?

previous life...not in a reincarnate way as someone in a different form but familiar me, myself, abiding in a different location.  I guess... I realized that preparations were made and complete with all I/we would need for survival and progression on an earth, made with such care and planning.  I guess...I thought we gathered round a amphitheater setting and the plan was presented and 2 volunteers told of their willingness but each with a different outcome.  I guess... I thought I gave a sustaining of Jesus and Adam and Eve left for earth.  I guess... that not thinking and digging and pondering a bit more, maybe a lot more, caused me to miss a very important point...the fact being- that I was me and was active in my choice of that supportive decision.  I was in that battle of persuasive words and I did shout for joy at the victory.  As did you.

When I got my Patriarchal Blessing, I was very new in the Church.  I was new to understanding the Bible and especially new to Living Prophets and the Book of Mormon.  My blessing is long and it is filled with lingo that was foreign to me...references to scriptures and names and counsel that left me scratching my head in puzzlement.  I felt overwhelmed and rather doomed as to... how does a person become what this document is talking about?  This is an impossibility!  At times I was frustrated and even angry and tearful and felt hopeless at never being good enough.  I did not feel the feelings of guidance that I wanted to feel because I didn't feel worthy of the mentioned blessings and I felt that I was not in a place, of my progression, to receive the mentioned blessings.

These feelings were very motivating to me and there was a deep desire to be worthy of living up to what this blessing talked about.  Lest I'm coming across like my blessing is extraordinarily amazing and I'm going to now announce some personal spiritual experience that you will call and tell a friend...not so. This is about how I made peace with my inner conflict and as a result grew in feelings of self-worth and confidence.  In my estimation, a bit late in life, but even that has been a blessing because in the interim between receiving my blessing and my dawning of the beauty of it...the confidence derived from it and the gratitude and self-love of being me and the learning the power of prayer and how to pray and access God and loving/hungering for gospel study/knowledge...came about because I was trying so desperately to feel worthy of receiving and living/becoming myself- my full self spiritually.  Myself - that is the person described in that inspired blessing.

The key that was missing for me and honestly, I think I'm very consistent/persistent, in disciplining myself to keep on keeping on but many times I have my ladder up against the wrong wall in pursuit and determination of doing and understanding.  I missed the point that I was involved in the pre-existence and not passive.  I was thinking/doing/ being and siding with the plan of Christ.  I was growing.  I was becoming.

that is what I missed...I was in bud.  I had strengths & I had weaknesses in that previous realm and they came with me because they are me!  I was me.  I still am me.  I will continue to be me.

I did not arrive on earth a blank sheet.  I arrived with all sorts of myself in bud and some blooms!  My blessing lets me know of things that are already there and developed to a certain point, a foundation to build on.  I don't have to build the foundation.  I build on the foundation not start from square one.

When I have desires for goodness or enjoyment or even accomplishments in certain doings...most likely I can read my blessing and see that is a part of me and it is familiar and I recognize that and am thankful for that recognition.  Like all of us, blessed by our Church membership, which affords us the Gift of the Holy Ghost, we are in process.

Therefore when I look and recognize gifts of strengths, the neglect of self-discovery will not allow those backpack gifts to grow and flourish.  They will be weighted rocks of guilt.  A painful prodding.  Discovery and development of self takes desire and then discipline.  I need family.  I need friends. I need those that see a glimpse of the real me, when I am blind or looking at a shattered mirror and seeing no wholeness.  I need that love.  I need that acceptance.  I do not need those that see the reality of my struggles and weaknesses...things in need of being overcome and faulting me.  All of that mass of goodness and struggles is my lot to sort...much like a twisted necklace of the finest gold.  I'm in a constant state of unkinking!!

Wouldn't this be the perfect time for me to announce that I've overcome all and I've developed all?  Stop reading if that is your expectation.  I will be trying until I die.  Moving ahead at a snails pace but inwardly feeling amazing stirrings and stretchings- that feel so great!

The best EVER!!!....

This little 5 minute video, by Elder Soares, is applicable to every life situation!  Marvelous!!  here