The Connecting

The Tent Elders did baptize her!!!  and she did feel a special connection with Elder Poulos!!  I vaguely remembered him telling me that Wilma had felt that she had known him before this life but I was so whiny and focused on feeling sorry for myself ,in being so put upon, that they were camped in the back yard (non-existent. remember?) that I missed the amazing connection!  The connection on the timing of her interest, willingness and desire and the Tent Duo being there-- willing, able, and chomping at the bit, to share the Gospel.  An interconnectedness that I somehow or other separated.  Wilma and her daughter got baptized.  The Elders camping out back in a tent.  It should have been a connection....Wilma and her daughter got baptized because the Elders lived in a tent in the back!!!  There was a huge connection!!!

It was good that my inner-self grumpiness/tearyness/whininess  remained contained (except to my husband-- and oh my, did he get an earful!) because I remember with tenderness the feelings I had for Wilma.  I forgot how desirous her young daughter was to be baptized.  So even at my worst inner  ravings, my heart evidently was still mostly in a good place of love and concern for her.  It was interesting to read what she remembers of Terry and I and our conduct towards her.

A part of her letters read.....

 On the way back out of town Merrie Anne spotted a big sign that said Open House at the LDS church for the following Monday and Tuesday. Merrie Anne, from a very young age wanted to go to church. Several years before I had gone to a Methodist church because I had been a member of that church but I had gotten offended by the pastor when I had asked him a question and he threw his head back and laughed as though I had asked something really stupid. I got up and walked out thinking I would never go back to church again. I knew there was a God, but who needed a church....anyway over the years Merrie Anne had attended many different churches with anyone who would invite her to go with them. She went to Pentecostal churches, catholic churches, the Nazarene church, and maybe some others. 

 When we moved to Homer she tried going to the Baptist youth group but the kids there would not accept her there. So when she saw the open house sign she begged me to take her to it. I told her I would. The following Monday we forgot about the open house. Tuesday about noon she said "Mom, we need to go to that open house at the LDS church". That was about noon. I said, "Oh, Honey, it is getting late, lets not go" She started to cry and said, "But Mom, you promised!"  So I agreed to go. The 16 miles of dirt road was terrible that day....worse than usual. I was tempted to turn around about half way there but she insisted we keep going. She did not want to miss the open house. So on we went. 

When we pulled in to the parking lot I still remember Terry and Elders Poulos and Halverson coming out to greet us with smiling faces. Never before had I been greeted at any other church like that. What an impression it made on me! 

As we went through and seeing all the displays I wasn't too impressed but when they showed the movies called "Man Search For Happiness" and "Ancient America Speaks" I was touched by the Spirit and I knew I had come home. When Elder Poulos asked if they could come to our home and give us the lessons I told him we would like that. 

 Within a month, Merrie Anne and I were baptized. We have never looked back and we continue to grow in the gospel. I love the Gospel and I know that God lives and that Jesus Christ is the head of this great church. What a blessing to be a member of His Church! I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ..Amen.

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Nancy, I am glad that you enjoyed my story about attending the open house. I had so many wonderful experiences while being in the Homer Branch. I will never forget how you furnished me with books written by general authorities because you did not want me to get something that might not be true. I devoured those books, I could not get enough of them and each Sunday you would send three more home with me. I would be so excited I almost jumped for joy. And I remember you calling me and saying "Wilma, will you fast with me?" That taught me the power of fasting. I will always be grateful to you for all you did to help me along in the gospel....I was so new to it then.

Yes, I felt very strongly about having Elder Poulos teach Merrie Anne and me...there was a connection that I felt like I had known him forever. I did not get to know Elder Halverson as he was either transferred or had finished his mission soon after we started taking the lessons. Elder Damon, the Lamanite young man became Elder Poulos' companion and he was great but very quiet. 

Oh how connecting with you has brought back such wonderful memories!

Many thanks for coming back into my life,

Love, Wilma

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"The 16 miles of dirt road was terrible that day....worse than usual. I was tempted to turn around about half way there but she insisted we keep going."   (Others had pioneer experiences also!  She lived out East End Road and that would be a bear of a drive at any time but especially at that time of year.  It was amazing that she hung in there for the full 16 miles as that stretch of dirt could take forever to get to town!)

"When we pulled in to the parking lot I still remember Terry and Elders Poulos and Halverson coming out to greet us with smiling faces. Never before had I been greeted at any other church like that. What an impression it made on me!"  (Last day. Finally some visitors! 3 fellows with a great attitude!!)

Yes, I felt very strongly about having Elder Poulos teach Merrie Anne and me...there was a connection that I felt like I had known him forever. (I do remember how touched Elder Poulos was in telling me that Wilma had shared that with him and how it made his mission so special to hear that from her)

"I will never forget how you furnished me with books written by general authorities because you did not want me to get something that might not be true. I devoured those books, I could not get enough of them and each Sunday you would send three more home with me. I would be so excited I almost jumped for joy." (so interesting.  39 years ago I was doing what I still do today...passing on my prejudice against anything non-authoritative, as far as the Gospel goes, when someone wants to learn about the Church.  I'm a fuss budget and it was a part of me way back then!!  and as I said...it still is!  very careful and selective in what I take as a true source of learning and will most likely go to my grave that way.  Hey!  whatever works is the way to go!)

 "Oh, how connecting with you has brought back such wonderful memories!" (My sentiments exactly. who'd of thunk it, huh?  This single segment of connecting with someone from my past, that started out about a month ago, has now come to an end.  Wilma and I will now stay connected and drop notes to each other once in awhile.  The Tent Elders are now a past event in my life that I can think of how tough it was and smile about my sourpuss attitude, pride, and realizing that a lot of eternal good came out of it, for all concerned, in spite of my being Eeyore most of the time!)

I wonder how many times we can't see the forest for the trees because of our faithless vision, lack of desire & our pride?   How many times do we miss that glass of lemonade?  

Better late than never!

The Tent!!

Tent Dwellers- Elder Halverson- Elder Poulos

Elder Damon

Elder Damon- Wilma- Merrie Anne

Elder Poulos - Elder Halverson 2011

Elder Halverson   Elder Poulos

The Circle is Starting to Close!

Tent living was the greatest!   That was the subject heading on the first email I got from Elder H.

I now believe that was truly how he felt about that cold, tough experience basically without any creature  comforts. He was only there for 8 weeks but it was such culture shock that I now understand why he has a brain load of memories that have strengthened him.

Yesterday I said that if I could live it again I would handle everything so much differently.  I thought about that at length and realized-- without maturing through experiences such as that I 'd probably be the same person and handle it the same way with the same feelings.  To my credit I only whined and cried to Terry.  He must have thought they lived there for at least half a century with my emotional overload in full tilt.

I now realize how powerful the experience was, that after 39 years, I also remember it with a lot of clarity. When I started looking for these two Missionaries about 3 weeks ago, I never dreamed of how it would come full circle and I would end up with gratitude that Terry agreed to let them rough it and also thankfulness for the Mission President who went along with it because there was a woman and her daughter that wanted to join the Church.  It was worth it all for that reason alone.

Yesterday I was a bit maudlin and dramatic, as is my nature at times, about being doomed.  I understood the scripture about grudgingly doing what appear to be good deeds.  I ended that thinking this morning and decided enough time to sulk had lapsed and my budget priced pity party, with me being the lone attendant, had run it's course.

I reminded myself of the graciousness of the Lord.  Him taking into consideration my feelings as He looks into my heart.  Thoughts and deeds that I thought were forever in indelible ink, were whisked away, as if it only needed the light of understanding focused on it, to become disappearing ink.  The beauty of the Atonement.  Regret for how I felt/acted was now a part of my life history but not scarring me or dooming me to some dark place.  I am blessed.

                                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nancy, oh Nancy, how exciting to hear from you. Over the years I have thought about you often and wondered how you were and where you were living. It is so good to hear from you. I just got back from a two week vacation yesterday and that is when I found your note. There is so much to catch up on and I promise you I will write more soon. You and Terry were special in my life and helped me get started on my incredible journey back to my Heavenly Father. How can I ever thank you enough for that!
 Wilma

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would do it all again.  The exact same way!  If the tent was all we could offer.  So be it.  As the very thought of this wonderful woman, joining the Church, and remembering how much we enjoyed each other and how tender and new she was in the Gospel just gave me such peace of mind about the entire tent stint.

 Yesterday I received this......

Nancy, I still almost feel like it is a dream that we have connected again. Did I ever tell you how Merrie Anne and I happened to come to the open house at Homer? Be sure to remind me to tell you about it if I haven't. The Homer Branch was a wonderful place to get a good start in the gospel. Everyone so lovingly embraced us and made us feel so welcomed. It will always hold a very special place in my heart.

Wilma

Connecting the Dots

So here I am feeling a bit chastised but more humbled than anything.  Munching on sole and I don't mean fish!!  When I went back in time 39 years ago to the nightmare (to me) of the two Elders living in the tent in the back yard.  The challenge of managing basics and my lousy attitude about it.  Feeling they needed more to survive etc. etc.

I've acknowledged that I would have a big lump of coal, right smack in the middle of my future crown, that is already encrusted with a lot of rhinestones and sequins, from some of my choices.  Feeling rather hopeless about the situation there was one detail that would make it all come together...if they baptized someone!  An event that would make sense and the Lord's hand would be evident, and there would be an outcome of all things needing to be together in that time frame, even living in a tent, hauling water etc. etc. for someone to come into the Church.

I remembered we were in our Phase One Chapel and it was decided by either Terry or the full-time missionaries to have an Open House.  The first one, I think.  They had some huge display pictures brought down from Anchorage and set them up in the multipurpose room.  No one was coming into the Church and Terry realized there was no sign outside.  The Church is right next to the road so it was easy to see.  A sign was made and posted out front near the road.

Eventually the nicest woman came in to see the display.  It seems to me that she was drawn in by the sign.  So Wilma got baptized and her daughter!

It dawned on me that maybe one of the tent Elders baptized her!!  Elder P. told me he had stayed in touch with her but he didn't say he had baptized her.  I wrote her a letter and asked who baptized her.  Tuesday I got a letter from her.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello again Dear Nancy, Just after I got your last email my computer went down and I just got it up and going today. That is why I am so late getting back to you.

Yes, Nancy, I still have a strong testimony of the gospel, even more so than when I first joined the church there in Homer. I have never wavered in all the years since then. Elder Poulos baptized both Merrie Anne and me Sept 29, 1973. I have kept in touch with him over the years, first writing letters, then phone calls and now email and face book. I will always love that boy and now he and his wife are serving a mission. How wonderful that his testimony has stayed strong and true to the gospel.

 If you remember Don you will know how much he resisted the Church but sixteen years after I was baptized he came around and became a strong and faithful member. We were sealed in the Seattle temple in 1989. In 1994 we served a mission in the Family History mission in Salt Lake City and after our time there we moved to Liberty Missouri to be near our son and his wife. While there we served another mission as managers of the Dry Pack Cannery in Kansas City and after that we were called to serve in the Saint Louis temple as ordinance workers. All these experiences were wonderful and we both grew in the gospel. In 2006 Don passed away .

 If your grandson gets transferred to the Las Vegas East stake we will be so happy to meet him and to let him know that you and I were good friends back in Homer many years ago.

Homer will always be so special to Merrie Anne and me. About four years ago we went back and of course we had to go see the church building....my goodness...it is a big beautiful ward building now! But I will always remember it as the little first phase branch building and Terry as our Branch President.

Merrie Anne is still active and has been a wonderful primary teacher for years. She has four grown children and is a grandmother of three...oh gosh! that makes me a great grandmother!!!

Love you, Wilma

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Even me being so prideful would not prevent the way being provided for her to join the Church!  I couldn't even connect the dots and see the alignment of the planets in her behalf after the fact.  Even with her being baptized!  It's taken 39 years for me to see the full picture!  I missed the joy in the journey by whining my way through the entire 4 months of the tent dwellers!  

Unlike a stage production, where dialogue and action can be changed, life is a one time final production.  No dress rehearsal.  IF I could do it over, I'd fully support Terry's decision to have them live in the tent.  I'd take the challenge head-on and make it work. I'd realize this would make a great memory for them at some point down their life path and it could also be for me that way!  I would embrace it.  Find the humor and make it work in a pleasant way for myself as they were fine.  I was the problem.  I'd just work with how tough things were and realize that's just the way things were and make the best of it.

So now I'm full circle.  soft of heart.  teary and tender.  so happy for Wilma and Merrie Anne.  look at all they have done to build up the kingdom!  so glad I focused on this segment of my mortal trek for the past 3 weeks or so.  

uh-oh, the lump of coal has fallen off my tin foil crown and left a hole, like the one I sometimes seem to have in my head.

Sack cloth and ashes itch like crazy!

The Long Bike Ride

 Remember in my search to locate some people from my past that I found one the Elders that lived in a tent in our Alaskan back yard?  (this was not a "yard".  this was ground with wild stuff growing on it!) (archive post is named  Grudgingly)

I heard from the 2nd Elder!

Hi there Bro. & Sis. Seljestad,

Just a note to let you know that I read your letter to Elder Poulos and it brought back great memories. This past weekend I spent some time at the Fort Bridger Rendezvous in Wyoming and while it rained and cleared it reminded me of Homer. I'll have you know that this time I was in a teepee so I am still in tents. Poulos and I have reunited on several occasions to rehash our great time together. The Homer experience prepared me for the many adventures I have had as scoutmaster for over 12 years. I do tell my grand kids that while on my mission I dwelt in a tent as Lehi and while serving on the high council my days in a tent were the subject of many talks. Hope all is well with you and yours and if you are ever in Spanish Fork look us up.

Michael Halverson

first of all!....you were both named Mike????

Terry remembers taking you and your bikes and driving you to the Russian Village and dropping you off!!  do either of you remember this?  that was miles away!!!

 I remember that day well and remember President Seljestad dropping us off. (Poulos)

 Oh yea do I remember. That was part of the reason I minored in Russian at BYU. The Cyrillic letters really intrigued me. When I graduated in '86 I moved my family to live in the Owens cabin near Nikolaevsk. (Halverson)

and I also remember!

Remember that Elder Halverson was only there for 8 weeks and yet he has enough stories to share for 39 years!  12 years of scouts hearing stories.  Probably dozens of tent stories shared while he served as a Hi-Council member plus his own grand-kids are still hearing stories and most likely fascinated with the happenings of those 8 weeks. Perhaps especially the day of the bike ride...Oh yea do I remember 

And Elder Poulos, also remembering that day of the bike ride... I remember that day well

Terry remembers feeling the Elders needed a real challenge and to be kept busier so he put their bikes in the truck and drove them to Nikolaevsk, the Russian Village, out in the middle of nowhere!!  Bikes 39 years ago were just plain old bikes!!  He dropped them off and said..."See you later."  He reasoned that it was almost all downhill to get back to Homer and maybe someone would take pity on them and give them a lift.

We are talking primitive.  Russians.  Old Believers.  Seeking privacy.  Gravel roads.   20 miles from Homer.

I was in a near swoon when he told me what he'd done.  How could he do that!!!???   He said...They will figure it out.  I was horrified.  Perhaps I cried over their plight or out of frustration that they were dropped on practically foreign soil?  I do remember them coming home that evening but no details.

I have asked each of them to tell me about that day from their perspective and so far neither has said a word about it.  Elder H. though did actually move back to AK and teach in the Russian Village for a few years so it made an impact for sure!!

This entire scenario reminds of the many things in life with 4 perspectives of the same incident and each varies in the telling of their viewpoint but all are actually true.  It's like a crossroad, with 4 people and each is standing on a corner, all see the same accident that happens in the middle but each describes it totally different but each is a true version of the happenings.  Most likely the happenings of that day, that have made for many stories over many years by each of us, stretched perhaps like Alaskan fish stories?, will never be agreed upon but it doesn't really matter, does it? 

Great times, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you did for us!!  Mike Poulos
                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bear in mind this is a more recent picture.  Looks big now!  They were there 39 years ago!  Use your imaginations!


Nikolaevsk, Alaska: located on the southern Kenai Peninsula in south Central Alaska, about 20 miles north of Homer.  A 6-mile gravel road connects this small town to Anchor Point and the Alaska road system.  Nikolaevsk is located in the Homer Recording District and the Kenai Peninsula Census Area. The village encompasses 36.3 square miles of land.  Winter temperatures range from 14 to 27; summer temperatures vary from 45 to 65.  Average annual precipitation is 24 inches.

Nikolaevsk, Alaska

                                                        (pronounced NICK-oh-lyvsk)
                                 
                                               
  http://www.usgennet.org/usa/ak/state/nikolaevsk.html  

Grudgingly!!

I continue to get in touch with people that have been a part of my life.  I have never forgotten 2 Missionaries that were in Homer.  I'll first share a bit of the correspondence that I have had with one of them. My first in 39 years!  Elder Poulos.....


8/30/2012-- 
So wonderful to hear from you, Sister Seljestad!!! I have such wonderful memories of you and your family when I served in Homer!

8/30--

I remember going to the Lower 48 to help with one of parents surgeries and finding out when I came back that Terry had invited you to pitch a tent in the back "yard". I was horrified!   He and I really had a go round. Down in the woods, no real road, no real running water, 3 children and a baby, and on and on!!   

I felt so bad that you had to go through that experience but I remember one of you telling me that you would someday tell your children that you, as others in the Book of Mormon, dwelt in a tent!  Now I look at it and think to myself...what a grand adventure for you to have had!!  and as for that junky looking trailer you moved into, as a step up from the tent?!, where on earth was that? I just remember feeling so bad that we couldn't offer more than a tent!  Bless your heart!

Elder Poulos, it was wonderful to share a segment of my life with you, even though it was such a hard time for me to have you stuck out in a tent!!  Terry had said...if it's not there they will take the Missionaries out of here.

8/31--
how thrilled I was to have heard from you! I still maintain contact with my Mission President, President Killpack, and when we first talked after 30 years he told me how sorry he was to have had Elder Halverson and I live in a tent on your property! He still remembered! I won’t give up that memory for anything – no need to apologize, I told him! Thank you for adding some more information regarding that experience. Time has erased a lot from my memory and I couldn’t recall the details you outlined – funny that must be now that you can look back on it! I do recall making that statement to you and that has come to pass in my life and has even been shared with my grandchildren! I can’t tell you how many times I have shared my experiences in Homer with other missionaries and friends throughout my life. Thank you forever!

9/1--
Ah, Homer was such a great place to serve as a young missionary. ....I can not remember where we got the tent, but that experience taught me I could do just fine no matter what life throws at me. All I needed to do was to maintain a positive attitude and show faith in our Heavenly Father - all will work out and you WILL be blessed for your sacrifice! Elder Halverson and I were sent to open the area for proselyting, we arrived in Soldotna and then the next day to Homer on June 23, 1973. Elder Halverson and I were together for about 2 months and he went home. My new companion was Elder Damon (he and I moved into the “hunter’s trailer” after Elder Halverson went home). We stayed in Homer until I went home on October 28, 1973. I think he then went to Anchorage (?). 
Mike and I remember our time together in Homer as the best time of our missions! 

Left- Elder Halverson  Right- Elder Poulos -- 1973

Elder Halverson-?-Elder Poulos-?-  District meeting in front of "The Tent"

"hunters trailer" -1st snow of September 1973

Oh, my goodness sakes alive.  I had long wondered what their take was on Tent Time in Homer.  It was haunting me and I guess I just needed to hear that they weren't marred for life by the experience.  I was marred to certain extent!

I found it interesting that after 30 years when the missionary contacted his Mission President that was one of the first things he talked about...putting the two Elders in a tent.  If there were to be Homer Missionaries there was truly no room in any inn! 

Terry was the Branch President.  We had survival living at that point with really severe items like....no source of steady running water, an impassable road. 4 children and the youngest wasn't really a baby, he would have been two at that time.

Not whining but it was a really tough life right then.  I had gone Stateside, with our toddler,  to help my parents through some sort health crisis.  When I get home, lo and behold, a tent is pitched out back and we now have 2 Elders.  They had no kitchen, no water, no bathroom (did they use the old outhouse?) etc. etc.  So they will be in with us but not really in with us.  They had no car (In 1973 there was very little blacktop.  all dirt and rocks etc.).

Terry said that if they weren't in the tent then the Mission would close the area as there was nowhere else for them to live.  I said one of those statements that causes a little sign to go off over your head, an arrow points at you and flashing words read...bypass the celestial kingdom and go directly to outer darkness.  I said... Then let them close the area.

Oh, my the house heated up!

I was so happy that the Elders found it the highpoint of their Mission.  I'm glad they have challenging experiences to share.  That did give me some peace of mind.

One thing the Elder said that just shocked the socks off of me...It was only 2 months!!!  That is beyond belief!!  Two months in the tent.  I thought it was months and months!  and months!  And then only 2 more months and it was all over.  4 months total!  I wish I knew were my time chart is in calibrating how long that is on the Lord's clock.  Maybe a nanosecond?? an eye-blink?

A plug for keeping journals.  Terry and I neither one have a clue about what is referred to as The Hunters Trailer.  I'm in hopes that our son Greg will recognize it.  Elder P. says that was what they lived in after the tent.  I wish one of the 4 of us had written that in a journal. 

(an aside.  When I get sick I make potato soup.  I use to occasionally make it for dinner until Terry and all the kids said they couldn't stand it.  I still make it when anyone is sick and they do get well real fast!  Anyhow the stress of reliving all this, made me seek comfort and I actually made some potato soup!  when I showed Terry, the Hunters Trailer, and we were talking about it, he was so shocked at what he saw and that he provided it, that he asked if I had any potato soup left!)

Hearing from the Elder of how much they enjoyed their time in the tent did make me feel better.

So I have a strike of evil against me.  I know it and the Lord knows it but I'm thinking during that 1000 years of sorting and straightening things out during the millennium perhaps I'll get dealt a bit of slack.  I'm well aware of my bad attitude and that is interesting when all others involved were happy and had a great attitude.  Yesterday I thought...what did their Mothers think of this tent dwelling????

Truth be told I realize it's more about me than them.  Everything in my life, at that point, was inadequate to take in other people and I had a lot of resentment when it was foist upon me.  

I told Terry, at that time in 1973, that my attitude was so bad that I wouldn't receive a single lick of service rendered in the points department!  I backed it up with Moroni 7....

 5 For I remember the word of God which saith by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also.

 6 For behold, God hath said a man being ^aevil cannot do that which is good; for if he ^boffereth a gift, or ^cprayeth unto God, except he shall do it with real ^dintent it profiteth him nothing.

 7 For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness.

 8 For behold, if a man being ^aevil giveth a gift, he doeth it ^bgrudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.

 9 And likewise also is it counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with ^areal intent of heart; yea, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth none such.

 10 Wherefore, a man being evil cannot do that which is good; neither will he give a good gift.

Elder Poulos was so sweet in his memories that I may just chalk this up as a life experience and move on.  Isn't it about time???????  I'm thinking so!