Yes! 80!!!

Yesterday was one of the most exciting days ever for me.  My 80th birthday!!  I've wondered how that day would feel...how I would feel...would I feel 80?  How would I even know what 80 feels like anyway?  It was a day I've anticipated with a lot of wonderment and fascination at the unknown.  I have looked forward to it and it did not let me down!  Even one day later, I'm still on a high.  A feeling of accomplishment.  A time of reviewing my life.  I think it's an awesome achievement!  I feel a sense of joy!  Is this just a little gold star of emotions for surviving?  Is this just a euphoric day or two and then things fall apart...like my body might?  I've never traveled this path but I am truly excited and happy for my future.  I don't feel old.  When I looked in the mirror yesterday at my face...I thought to myself...I quite like this 80 year old face.  It doesn't look battle weary to me.  Is the skin wrinkling as 80 year old skin has permission to do?  80 year old skin probably doesn't need permission to do anything!  It's not in my control!  Then I reminded myself that I was in a bathroom with low-lit bulbs of the wrong wattage and no glasses!

To make the best of the rest of my allotted years...I did what all chubbettes do...started an eating program...on Easter of course!  Really...the excess of me has to depart...can an 80 year old body keep hauling to much weight around?  I was even virtuous yesterday, and told a friend (I knew she'd bake me cookies) that I was off sugar...on my birthday!  although another friend asked what I wanted for my day and I said dark chocolate so she splurged on her 2 favorite bars.  My precious daughter bought me a Jouvay Chocolate bar when she was in Granada and mailed it from Florida.  So I have things to eventually nibble on!!  A sugar addict nibbling on chocolate bars...hmmm.  well, dark is suppose to be healthy and I'm now into health at age 80 so....well, time will tell the truth on this!

There have been other years that have been milestone years for me, in that I wanted to see what it felt like 50...60...75...and the biggie...80!

I went to the Temple yesterday morning and was by myself...so much time to think and feel the moment.  I thought of how beautiful the earth is and the work that went into preparing it for all of us...I thought of how different our world compared to say 60 years ago when I was 20.  I thought about memories of family and friends.  I thought about accomplishments and the joy of Church callings.  I thought about mistakes...and successes...and heartbreak/heartache/despair/tears and pleadings at midnight  and how the Lord has blessed me as the hymn I wander through the still of night states and then I sang it.

I can't really remember 2 hours worth of musings but a couple random things...when Walter Cronkite used to read the nightly news off a paper.  You had heard the news.  YOU figured out what you thought of it and there was no bickering or arguing or anyone telling you what had just been said and what it meant.  I do not watch TV news.  I read headlines and then if a story grabs me I try to figure out the real story....schools did not have signs about no guns allowed...there were no billboards advertising marijuana behind the McDonald's sold in an upcoming town...on and on with comparison of years and years and gratitude for experiencing so much and seeing so much and thinking of how we used to laugh at the comic book Dick Tracy talking into his watch or Matthew Smart talking into his shoe...from radio to technology- amazing!  A long time of trivia thinking and it was fun and amazing to think of how many things I've seen happen in my 80 years.

I thought about the deceit of the tobacco industry and lives lost and I now think the sugar industry is just as corrupt.  that brings me to a thought about fatness.  In my teen and young adult years there were no elastic waistbands.  all of our clothes had zipper or buttons.  all clothes were fitted.  I believe it kept you in check!  Sweat pants were what football players used and they had drawstrings.  Material did not stretch.  there was no give.  it was what it was.  Blame weight gain on sugar and elastic!!

You will have memories whether you make memories or you don't make memories.  Make as many enjoyable memories as you can.  they bring you such joy just reliving them and feeling that same emotion again.  This is a precious memory of Terry dancing with the girls, on their annual summer visit, as he did each evening when he came home from work.  Family memories take planning but they are so worth it years later.

I thought of things that I wished I'd done but I did enough things that at this stage, this age, I'm thankful for what I did do and am not crying with regret over things that I now wish I'd done.  I'd take a do-over in a heart beat with the stipulation that I can take all of the things I've learned that would cause me to do things different.  Well, that is not going to happen and without that happening...I'd most likely do exactly what I originally did!  There are seasons for doing and some things have a very limited time frame and you really have to strike while the iron is hot, as time and seasons are fixed and they move off into the sunset!
The one absolute in my life is the Gospel.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ.  The Savior, my Savior, has never let me down.  He has been with me in my darkest hours and my brightest, most joyful times.  I can be guaranteed in my life...if things are really rough and I'm bouncing around in some sort of anguish or trial or whatever- He will comfort me and help me and I will end up at some point with peace and eventually clarity through His kindness.  I endeavor to stay on the covenant path and hold to the rod and a lot of times I'm desperately grasping the rod and pulling myself along until I can regain strength to stand upright.  My covenant path walk is more like a water walk...a slippery film of water on my path that sometimes deepens and if I dare to look to the storms around me...I will nearly drown until I re-focus on Him.  In thinking about my 80 years...my testimony and conviction and experiences of feeling the Spirit are what has pulled me through the last 60 since joining the Church.

My love for my family and friends is intensified and made deeper and more real because of my love of the Gospel.

thanks for your patience with me on being so on-off about blogging.  Thanks so much Celise for your words of motivation to me!

Of course all filled with birthday excitement, I say, yet once again!...sorry and I'm really going to do better and more regular posts.  I plan on living to 105 or until the Savior returns so forward march!

I ask my kiddos to not put on FB that it was my birthday and they obliged.  Friends called me and dropped gifts and flowers and it was all just so great!  It could not have been better.