Long overdue and way to long!!

Good morning! 

Just when you thought I'd died on the vine....I'm back!

Will now play catch up with A Bitsy Booklet of Short Essays...illustrated with some blurry non-photo shopped pictures.

Essay #1  McCall

The now annual family trek to McCall did take place.  Remember we used to go every other year and then Dixie didn't want her year any more so I took it over (older sisters can do those things!)  Because it was our off  year and because of our Grandson's accident on June 11th and Dixie's death on June 13th- I was totally ill-prepared.  Tired.  Nothing planned.  Nothing ready.  Terry not over enthused about traveling and not being home.  Actually he was more totally not in the McCall mode. 

Jeanee was here and so were the girls and we got a minimal amount of things thrown in the little ol' truck.  She baked cookies and froze them and then we forgot to take them.  so that was the end of that plan!

Our family is really small.  Slow to arrive on earth...5 over a 17 year span and slow to multiply and replenish.  We have expanded from the original 5 kiddos with spouses and gr-kiddos to a whopping 19!  So if you add the 2 of us and the 5 beginning group and the additional 19 we tally in at 26!  and that is over a 59 year span.  Yawn.  slow as molasses in January!  This math example reminds me of the complications of the new math.

Just sayin'...that little band of people are like calling a United Nations meeting to meet and spend the week expecting harmonious relationships .  Even warring members look forward to being together.  To me that is wonderfully amazing!

Last name in common is the uniting factor at these events.  Truly...5 such different people and they have each won my heart.  So being worn down, and ill-prepared for a group gathering,  and dealing with my protesting HoneyBunchHubby, I went and it turned out fantastic!!!

Even polar opposites in a family can enjoy being together.  They do it every time!!  At Dixie's funeral I shared that it's much easier to be friends with non-family than family.  it takes huge humility and gigantic amounts of give&take, to bridge that gap and actually value and enjoy and love each other in a family.

Terry was a champ also.  Jeanee , the girls and I just kept packing the truck and he just kept saying...I'm not going...I'm not doing this...I'm not going etc. etc.  When everything was ready and loaded, I made the announcement...time for you to get in the car!  Let's go!  and he said...I would never do this to you!

I would not have used this method if anything was going on that couldn't be handled in the car!  He had a horrible trip up and a horrible trip back BUT he enjoyed every minute of the week there AND his kids and grandkids were just so happy that he came!

The effort that everyone made to get there was so tender and so appreciated.  Kip and Kip d. and family, of course couldn't make it.  BUT...everyone else was represented!!

All of us are looking forward to next year and celebrating our anniversary together!

I'm planning big for 2017 and thinking...of course I can make everyone a quilt (hmmm...didn't I say that a few years ago?  and that plane never left the hangar, much less to become even slightly airborne!)  I guess being co-dependent means getting carried away on all things that might make someone happy!

Hours of fun at Lake!!

grandchildren at Lake day with  Terry and I

Essay #2 Kip d.

Essay #2 Kip d.

Our grandson is starting PT.  Moved his family to the basement level of his in-laws as his own home is split level. In a wheelchair and stood up for first time for a minute.  He has to learn to walk again.  Jeanee and Scott and Tori visited them.  Surprised to see a beard on his mug!  Terry and I were going over but they don't have air-conditioning and it's way to hot for us!  Kim says Kip is more mobile and maybe she can drive them over here where it is cool!  Else wise we will go over there when the weather cools down a bit.  His hardware accumulation is shown below!!

Poor guy!!!

Scott/Jeanee/Tori visiting Kip/Kim/Ava/Kai

Essay #3 Angels

I still feel that we will hear of more and more angel instances.  I have heard 2 stories recently and one was at a Sacrament meeting.  I've always believed about a nearby realm of where spirits reside.  The thing that is new to me, and I believe it now to be true...you can ask for angels to help.  I always felt angels helped, unbidden.  And I still believe that we have that sort of influence a lot.  Maybe all the time? but I'd never internalized or processed asking for help.  I've found enough authoritative quotes to satisfy my quest.  I do believe we can ask for help from angels.

There are several different types of angels.  Dixie can be an angel to us.  There are those that have already heard her voice, felt direction, felt her presence.  I shared before--it's rather ironic as the card she shared, with the letters she wrote to friends and family- were cards that had an angel on the front and it read...

There's an angel

watching over you...

to keep you safe

and always light your way.

For you're someone very special

who means more

than words can say.

and this!....

The Lord knows you. He knows your heart and is pleased with your sacrifice. He smiles upon you each day. He will uphold you and prepare the way for you. He will send His angels before you. You will feel their presence. And with the help of heaven, your talents will be multiplied.


I promise you that as you lift those around you, the Lord God, the Creator of the universe, will lift you up. If you will only believe and incline your heart to our Beloved Father, He will place within you a peace that surpasses understanding. He will give you joy. May each of you always remember this.  (on Elder Uchtdorf's FB post) here

Essay #4 Golden Rule - Gold Star

All of you know that I've made no secret about me being Totally possessive about my children.  I've not won any awards or trophies for my obsessiveness on trying to squeeze loyalty or whatever out of my adopted children.  I've been MotherBear to the max.  Recently though I gave myself, in an unannounced private bestowing, a gold star for moving ahead!!

Sometimes we act the part but it's not really in the heart.  I could win an Emmy/Oscar/Tony for that feat!! 

So more math...Said FirstBornAdoptedBabyboy is a whopping 45 years old now.  Birth parents entered into his life and barged into mine 22 years ago.  He would have been 23 years old. 

Finally I moved ahead.  I do regret not getting to know his birth father before he passed away.  At least I'd calmed down a little bit when that happened.  I still remember David calling me tearfully and telling me he'd died and mentioned he knew I had bad feelings for him.  oh, dear. 

So my son ended up with a BirthFather family and a BirthMother family and us/me a RealFamily.  So this baby that is now a man has other folks that lay claim to him with using the title of brother and sister.  No one uses Mother and the other Father is gone.

Through these many years I've tried to come to grips with it and not gripes.  At some point I finally got some resolution and it was so evident that David thanked me, just a few weeks ago, for giving him permission to accept the love others were offering him.  That really surprised me as I had mentioned to him, how nice Vickie was (his birth fathers wife) to always include him in the annual family reunions they have and get them to FL.  That was when he thanked me!  That was when shooting stars whizzed by and I pinned a gold star on my bosom!!  My feelings were so sincere and so deep that it came through clear to the outside and my son could feel it!!!

Florida "family" reunion.  5 of MY family are in this mix!

Vickie says this is 7 of her 11 grands.  Hmmm.  two of those are mine! left #1-#3.

Grace and Sam in my picture also.  #1 &#3 in both pics.

Then he had a Utah family reunion and I have no pictures of that as it was a Maile reunion.

Then he reffed a wild wrestling thing and two of his birth sisters(from birth mother) called him brother.  which they always do.  My darling daughter/only girl in family/only sister and I are cut from the same cloth and when I showed her these messages...she and I both looked at each squinty-eyed, doubled our fists and shook them at each other and growled....GRRRRRR!

Look at the ref!!! My brother Dave Seljestad!!!!! Everyone turn it on! It's on Fox Sports One right now!!! His UFC debut!!!! So so so cool!! We're over here in Cali yellin for the ref and not the fighters! Hahahah We love you Dave!!!!!  (posted by Jaime Snow)

My brother Dave Seljestad!! UFC ref debut! So amazing!  (posted by Becki Collette)

Jeanee lays total claim to both of them in the sister department!

Half of my boy band. Two baby brothers. (her post)

We adopted both boys right from Hospital release time!  what a blessing!!

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Not to neglect our youngest son. #2adopted  Pictured below...Atz Kilcher/His grandson-wife-baby/Jewel & son/Jewel's brother Shane and wife.  Yes.  we know the Kilchers.

Atz...and daughter Jewel

The woman below is Atz ex-wife and Mother of Jewel.  She is the one that connected us in a private adoption for our youngest son.  Jeanee and she had a wonderful lengthy lunch this summer in Homer.  My life is like a French braid!  bits of this and that, all woven together and must be held tight in the making or it loses structure and beauty.

Jeanee lunching with LaNedra.  Jewel's Mom.  made connection for us to receive Ben!

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Something that helped me move along, was realizing that I will never need to play catch-up or get acquainted or learn about this man-child that I love because I lived it with him.  I held him and kissed him and squeezed him and saw his firsts of all firsts in all that he did.  They have a blood connection but me?...I have a heart connection that cannot be shared.  the story can be told but it can't be transferred.  not even in the smallest detail.  I lived that life with him and we are ever connected.

Whew!  that was a long time coming!!  feeling so good and so free!!  Maybe 22 years will seem short in the next life?  it seemed lengthy to work on a challenge that long to me as a mortal!

(great article about adoption.  one I can totally relate to ...here)

Essay #5 TeeterTotterLife

Still trying to figure out how to balance my NewNorm.  One thing I see that I'm doing, that has to stop, is trying to take on more and not letting anything go.  So I'm trying to take on more responsibility for us and yet still expecting life to stay as it is.  Not decreasing in any way.  Just adding more on top of what I'm already running behind on!! 

For years I yak-yak about organizing and need to lose weight and etc. etc.  Keep spinning my wheels and gasping for air every time  the wheel rolls upward. 

I now understand that things need to change and it might seem drastic to me but it needs to be.  I will cut out some things that I do.  Things that I do just because I always have or because I feel I should or I think it's expected of me or everyone else is doing so much and I do so little etc. etc.  My co-dependent self will have to resist mailing a flyer to everyone I know explaining why I've cut back  on certain events/habits or whatever.  (at this point the jury is still out on what needs to be pared back) 

Three things will be my top priorities...1- time with Terry (he's pretty much stuck at home and although he wants me to go and run and play and etc.  I will see how my flitiness plays out with enjoying time with him...2-me handling all household responsibilities to where we are both comfortable with living conditions (and no one calls in some government agency to condemn our abode!)...3-improving my health ( don't ask how!!)

(Celise- that promised book may be projected a bit further out!!)

Jeanee and Tori were a tremendous help when they were here in getting some things down from high places and we worked on the garage some more.  I am on target with that plan I mentioned.  I really love the book!  (thanks for the tip, Jackie!)

Essay #6  Blog

Love blogging and chatting with you.  This is staying on my-- being/staying/improving health! I will endeavor to be more consistent.  Thanks for your support.  You are dear to me.

This post is miles to long but I decided to just send it anyhow.  by the time I add pictures it will be a novel!!

PS- (Natalie- my email is tseljestad@charter.net Please email me so I can hear how your daughter is progressing with her difficult challenges.  You are in my prayers. Love and thanks!)

Essay #7  Temple

There is nothing better than a trip to the Temple!!  I drove over there with jumbled chaotic thoughts and came out with peaceful orderly thoughts.  So blessed.  Just driving home and feeling so settled and peaceful.  Peaceful does not always mean end of challenges.  Peaceful just means...the Lord is aware and things will work out and I can handle it.  Yes!!  How?  I have no clue but that is fine.  Things will work out and my mind feels at peace.