Today I thought...maybe I should just delete all that sharing of my life plan...maybe it is just way to much info. etc. etc.
Then I thought...that is how I feel. that is what I want and I'm going for it!
Saturday I went to the Temple. Sunday I was at Church. Monday I took a friend to the Dr. BUT...I'm still ready to sew my first lap quilt family gift for McCall --tomorrow!
I've never made this pattern before and it turned out okay. Perhaps I'll make it again. I have others I want to try also so maybe it won't be a repeat. I learned a lot on this one....the colors didn't turn up where I thought they would but I still like it. Not sure of what border fabric I'll use but I'll get that decided soon.
here is how far along it is...
The above quilt needed 18 different materials but my next quilt only uses 9...In my endeavor to use fabrics on hand...I think I'll use these below for the next quilt.
using soft pastels. Ooopsie. there is a duplicate! will find another one!
Long winded post coming on. Fair warning. Figuring out how to deal with this stage of my life is taking for.EVER! Moving into the home stretch and am so thankful!!
I believe there truly is a season for everything and the seasons of the earth are a natural teacher of that fact. You may want an extension of a season but wanting it, isn't going to make it a reality. Porch sitting in a warm evening breeze...sipping ice water...visiting with a friend--just isn't going to happen in December in my area.
Even within a season we can desire for things to extend and just last forever!! Moments or events that we just savor and want to hang onto. I can remember feeling a moment when all 5 of our children were home and we had a baby in our midst and feeling the sheer joy this little fellow brought to all of us. I remember thinking- how marvelous it would be if we could always have a 3-6 month old baby in our family...The seasonal plan, and a very practical plan, a very realistic plan...not going to happen no matter how happy you feel with a baby in the mix. Seasonal. almost transient. Here today. Gone tomorrow.
To me a life span covers the 4 seasons in a broad sense.
1-birth to 25 years...growing physically/education/marriage (for some)/career starting etc.etc. 2-25-50...career development/raising children/children start career & family etc. etc. 3-50-75...empty-nester/self-development/discovering skills/talents/service/grandparenting etc. etc. 4-75-100...health declines/life totally changes/figuring out joy in a NewNorm etc. etc.
Me?- I plan on living to 105. Being here for the 2nd coming. My challenge is - trying to hang into/onto the 3rd season and not transitioning to the 4th. Wanting to hang onto how things have been for years and years and slow to face the reality that there is so much on my plate and it interferes with the OldNorm...making it impossible to move ahead as I'm hanging onto trying to do the old 3rd season era and add the new and much needed 4th season and humanly...it is impossible to live a double life. Sometimes those seasons may overlap but not forever.
I'm trying to figure out and step into the 4th season and make appropriate changes, all the while not feeling gypped or mourning for what I want and can't have!! I am incapable of being in my current 4th life phase and fooling myself that nothing has changed. Practically every thing has changed.
You know that I've been trying and trying to find balance in my NewNorm. It's been very long in coming but the Lord is good. So good. I think I finally have a skeletal plan that will work! Facing how things are and what I need to change, to help us have a better quality and enjoyment of life, and to where I can live my journey in joy.
I do feel joy. I also feel empowered. I feel strong...capable...and that I can do what is right for me...and that ultimately is right for us.
That little co-d voice, of course!, whispers...you should be able to do more/what will people think and on and on. Truth be told...it's my life and I'm expected to figure out how to live/create/have the best faith-based life I can. I'm going for the gusto! OR do you go for things with gusto? Whichever. Whatever. I'm changing things up!
So you just read the intro to a Chapter Book!
LINING UP MY DUCKS
Chapter 1...Food
I remembered Emma (last one I shared about family meals) had previously told me a couple of other things about meal prep...
Yes, Aaron and I love to cook together. We did it a lot while we
were dating, engaged and married. We still do as often as we can. For a long
time Sunday meals were Aaron's time to be creative. Sundays aren't a guarantee
anymore, so he cooks when he can. His latest adventure is sourdough bread.
Some of the crockpot meals were make ahead
freezer meals. I found several recipes on the internet. I made 10 or 11 all in
one afternoon. They were hit and miss. Some just didn't have enough flavor.
Don't be afraid to try new things, but only reuse the ones you like.
it would have been interesting to hear from others but for now...enough. The important thing is aiming at eating together as a family whether it be 2 or a table full of folks.
As for me. I've watched all sorts of cooking shows...read all sorts of cookbooks...looked online at all sorts of eats...cooked an assortment of new concoctions...made all sorts of elaborate plans that never seem to fly.
I have a friend who cooks/serves her hubby an old familiar dish, one she has cooked for years, might even be a favorite of his and he questions...did you change this recipe? it doesn't taste right! something is different. He basically loves two things, and she doesn't cook them!!... From the gas station!- he LOVES chicken on a stick and their jo-jo's (?)
Do taste buds change when you age? My Mother ended up liking cold cereal! Even if soup was cooked and frozen she wouldn't fix it.
Now my hubby doesn't think things taste good! Is it Rx that pulls this freakish mouth trick? He likes cold cereal also!! I don't know but it is a pain in my neck way beyond his taste buds.
So...I simply am weary of cooking and don't necessarily like doing it! Gasp!! I've tried lots of ways but it just doesn't work anymore. So in this 4th Season...I will focus on a wonderful beautiful delicious Sunday dinner. I'll make a batch of soup during the week (which I still enjoy doing). I'll bake some bread.
The rest? Lettuce in salad spinner. Fruit. Hardboiled eggs. and then just whatever! I'm not going to use morning time in trying to figure out what to cook and doing it and etc. etc. My Mother always cooked a special Sunday meal and we loved that great dinner. I always cooked one for our family also. Now being there are just two...I no longer do that on a regular basis. I will do that for us! looking forward to it! Leftovers will be good!!
Chapter 2...Temple & Studying
Will continue to go weekly to the Temple as long as roads are safe. and will continue to study the Gospel. Right now I'm into studying about the Atonement. I favor studying Conference talks and just plain scriptures. Not many other religious books are of interest to me. For ages I felt the Atonement was for the price paid for sinning etc. etc. It was a thrill to me to later learn that the Atonement covers everything! I decided to read the book by Tad R. Callister--The Infinite Atonement. He is the General Sunday School President. I've heard him at General Conference and he is so humble. I'm looking forward to reading what he has learned.
Chapter 3...Healthy Self
I have to become stronger and healthier as more and more is expected of me. Terry does the dishes and keeps his bathroom tidy as far as our housekeeping/housecare. The rest? Ummm...that is me. On my plate. Little old pudgy me. My own unhealthy self. Sooooo....when Jeanee and Tori were here and climbing were I couldn't go and moving things that I couldn't move...they put the stationary bike right in the middle of the garage. Who for? Me.
They left and that day I started my biking adventure! I don't even do a decent jog in my pedal rate. More like a slogging effect. But that is okay. I'm doing it. Very unorthodox way but it works for me. I roll out of bed (not yet leaping out of bed. still rolling) and put on my old green bathrobe and walk to the garage (bedhead and all) and climb on my steed and putt-putt away. My floor-length robe has snaps and I unsnap the bottom 2 or 3 and really, I laugh, knowing full well I am the spitting image of the wicked witch in wizard of Oz as she cycles along cackling and fabric afloat.
My goal?...next year at our 2017 Family Reunion we will have a dance-off and I want to win it!! Plus we will celebrate 60 years of marriage and I want to set an example for my children. True it's a bit late but hey! better late than never.
So my biking is my first step. I can do 30 minutes but will even settle for 10 minutes if it needs be.
So that is my starting point. Necessary because out of Kip (our son), Kip d. (our grandson that can now use crutches and is in PT to learn to walk), and TerryMainMan of my life...anyhow-- out of these 3 I am the healthiest/strongest person. Now they might beg to differ but just trust me on this. Okay? So I am going to truly get strong and healthy. I will work this year and win the dance-off!!
I just love this meme!!
LOVE it!!--creed point-if it's to be, it's up to me!
Chapter 4...Rational goings (and flitting about)
There will be some events I will attend and others I won't. As a member there is that guilt that we stack the bricks on ourselves. I enjoy evenings home with Terry and vice versa. He has no problem with me going anywhere and doing anything but in assessing it I'm going to pare back on a couple of things.
I'm going to drop Book Club and will not attend Linger Longer (4th Sunday meal at Church). I've never attended LL as Terry can't go but I will take those guilt bricks off my back. Book Club...it seems I'm only there once in awhile and most of the time I've not yet read the book. I'll drop out for now. I don't like being a no-show.
A really big guilt trip for me is VT. I fly solo and seldom get the engine going to taxi out of the hanger! I don't make gifts/cook cookies/ go to house and give lessons. I just don't ever quite make it to what I said I would. Two of the women are dear friends and see each other and help each other all the time. I have talked with them and in all honesty, I know I'm not as dreadful as I'm painting in such black depressing paint BUT I'm not satisfied with my performance and care and the guilt is like an unseen cavity to everyone else but it eats me alive. I do talk on phone etc.
Driving back from the Temple in all of my joy for feelings of receiving, at least for me, right directions to move into my own glorious 4th season, I expressed the thought...I wish I had a letter route. I'd love to be connected with women like that. should I ask the RSP?...and then that dab of desire for magic wand waving just vanished.
Next day--Sunday at Church, as I entered the door, the RSP greeted me with...we want to change our VT and would you be okay to do letters for us? and on and on and on...pixie dust was outshone by an answered to an unuttered prayer. YES!!!
Chapter #5- Tidy up
Don't be rude and say mean things like...good grief, woman!! you are still in a mess?? are you a hoarder? do we need to do an intervention or what?? how many years are you going to dink around before you get your act together like every other Mormon woman who keeps everything spit-spot all the time and is totally organized??
Yeppers. It made my list. Again.
And I had Chinese food and my fortune cookie reads. That's an omen don't your think????
note...I only saved 3 other books. That bottom one is Martha Stewart's! And that huge thick one by Peter Walsh. but the little book with my fortune cookie glued to it to remind me...you can do this!!
Chapter #6- Do not commit me!!
Tori climbed up and reached the top shelf where my fabric is. Over the years I've downsized and given more yardage away than anyone I know. Trying to get sensible etc. I willed myself to stop buying fabric. And have stopped that habit.
I had the cupboard neat and tidy. well, at one point I did! So Tori and Jeanee and I carried all the fabric to a banquet table and started sorting it. Now Terry has always laughed at my fabric craving and I dishonestly tucked some out of sight when I was into buying such gorgeous stuff! Surprise Surprise...he said that he was so glad that I'd kept what I had and he thought it was just beautiful.
That was a shock. A very nice shock!
The really big excitement in our family is thinking of next year at McCall. Never have we all been so eager. I had this grand epiphany...I am going to make every family member a quilt and take it to McCall next July. I think I mentioned this before. Years ago?
Now don't call in some psychiatrist or the likes.
Earlier I read about our Yakima Mission Presidents wife and how she sewed a huge amount of quilts. She'd gone to a funeral and the lady had left all sorts of unfinished quilts and her family wasn't sure what to do with them. That inspired her to take care of all her unfinished quilts. And she did. What she accomplished makes my goal look like absolutely no challenge. I sent her a note and told her she'd inspired me but to please tell me she did not wash all of that fabric. I could not face that task!
Now I read this before I decided to do my family quilt project but when I decided to do it, her success really fueled me!!
So I will have someone get a tote down that has some unfinished quilt tops and then add others. I decided to make all of the tops and then, worse case scenario, I can get my kiddos to help finish them if needs be. I'm going to use my store of fabrics that are on hand. maybe buy just a yard or so if I'm doing a coordinated pattern. I bought the orange flower print for this. all the rest was in my cupboard.
I pulled the needed 18 different fabrics to start on my first new quilt top. I went to the Temple or I'd have that first one sewed. I'm really excited about it because I've had the pattern for a really long time and had given up on making it. I'll share the picture of my progress.
Right now I'm sewing on the kitchen table and not in the back, where I'll move to, but this one is very complicated. It's simple but complicated! it's sort of measure twice and cut once. I have to be exact on cutting it & putting it together. maybe I'll love it so much...I'll make them all this way!
Now this project idea has just done amazing unexpected things in our home. Terry is so happy to see me happy. He loves looking at the progress and seeing the beautiful fabrics. I was not expecting that reaction. another reaction that I did not expect is my own. I feel creative and excited and happy and enjoying the entire experience. (okay. granted I'm just getting started but truly it's wonderful.)
Terry asked me if I was anxious to get to the "fun" part and past the "boring" part. I told him that every single thing was a joy to do and I enjoy the entire process from picking the pattern, choosing the fabrics, cutting, sewing, putting together etc. etc.
That is what I needed joy in my journey.I feel it!!
I believe it's expected of me to figure my #4-LifePhase out, with available Guidance, and act on it.
THE END
(PS- yes. I do know that genealogy should be on here. I know. I know that!)
Today I went to the Temple. Such a great experience. 3rd time is a charm. These last 3 Temple visits have really helped me in my life as I sort things out and continue to figure out how to settle into my NewNorm. First week...so much on my mind. 2nd week...felt peace but not certain on any direction...3rd week (today) confirmation of moving ahead on feelings I have. It was so joyous to feel.
As I drove home, I felt peaceful and joyous. Now that is a feel good feeling for sure!!
Yesterday Terry and I were talking about how blessed our life is. So much unease and suffering in the world. So many natural calamities and wars and loss of loved ones. We have none of that.
Our area has not been hit in devastation like some areas. Yes, there are pockets of pain but nothing like other places.
The ride home was just so pleasant. So comfortable on all levels...outside the car...inside the car and within my soul. comfortable and peaceful.
The Temple always reminds me of the love God has for all of us. The care and love that led to the creation of our beautiful land. And here we are living in a country that believes in our right to have the "pursuit of happiness". Marvelous to contemplate.
We are not rich. We are not poor. We are just right...we have sufficient for our needs.
All of those feel good feelings and then, to top it off, one of my daughter-in-laws sends me this!! Get a cool summer drink or warm cup of something delish or a bowl of ice-cream or popcorn and just relax and watch this marvelous video.
My life is feeling really good right now. I feel happy and I most certainly feel grateful!!
Emma is a friend and she works in YW as do I. She has 5 children...her husband is a busy Pediatrician...and if that isn't enough to keep her hoppin'---her hubby is also our Bishop. I appreciate her very much.
Her family... (Emma I couldn't copy the one at the top of your FB. So I chose this one)
Thanks for sharing!
(a SUNNY day for sure!!!)
Hi Nancy,
I completely believe in meal planning. Life is so much easier when
I plan ahead. That being said, I am not really good at it. But I'll tell you
what has worked for me. It's similar to what Shannon does. I have an idea of
what type of meal I'd like to have. I did crockpot meals on Monday because I
didn't get home until 6:00, Taco Tuesday (Mexican food), Pizza Friday etc. And
I get input from the kids so they get to have their favorite meals at some
point. It worked best when I did the meals two weeks at a time. Some people
like to do a month at a time.
It's really not fun when 4:00 rolls around, and the kids are in
the midst of after school stuff and they are asking what's for dinner and I
have no idea! Also if I already know what's for dinner I can prep in the
morning when I have time. It helps me have healthier meals as well, so I don't
have to used last minute processed foods. We eat meals together as often as
possible. Dinner is usually at 6:30 when Aaron gets home. I think eating
together is essential. It's a time to talk and come together. We learn good
behavior, and get to talk about the day, and plans for the next day.
Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts. It's inspired me
to get back to meal planning! I think it's the right time as school is just
starting. That way I can be with the kids when they get home rather than
figuring out what to fix for dinner!
Emma
********************************
(SHARING AGAIN!!)
Citing various authorities, Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught:
“The time a family spends together ‘eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.’ Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.”3
Being a non-techie is sometimes so irritating. So...I had my blog ready and then I decided to delete a quote in the draft section and ...I deleted what I wanted to share with you!!!!
School starts today and there will be sounds of sighing of relief from Mom's and a bit of dread from students. It will be nice for everyone when it all levels out. Kiddos are so busy and Mom's seem to do double time.
I'm a total advocate of family dinners. I've blogged before and encourage all of us, me too, to figure out how to gather our family around the table for a meal.
One of the things that my daughter was so excited about when she was expecting her twins, was thinking of them, sitting at the dinner table. She bought those little clip on chairs for the table and they were propped up in those, way before they were old enough to sit on their own.
She dreamed of eating together around a cozy smallish table, and visiting and eventually playing games. Her girls love dinner time. This week they are off for year #2 at college. After their last meal, the night before they left, seated around her small dream table-- here is what they did....
Citing various authorities, Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught:
“The time a family spends together ‘eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.’ Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.”3
******************************
The women I know are super busy and honestly I don't know how they do all they do, including cooking for their families but...they do it. I asked one of them, with a really large family, to share how she handles evening meals. She shared....
When I
was a child, we had a family dinner every night. It didn't matter what time it
was, we always ate together. Often times we were milking cows, feeding calves,
and doing other chores until 9:00 at night, which meant we ate around 9:30 most
nights.
When I
married, I assumed that part of my responsibility was to make dinner for my new
husband every night. After the first week or so he said to me, you make dinner
every night?! He was flabbergasted. Being young and naive, that shocked me as I
knew no other way, and didn't realize this was not normal for everyone. I think
after all these years, he is used to it now, but once in a while mentions how
grateful he is that I make dinner every night, and how blessed he is.
I have
always wanted that to be something I kept as a tradition in my family. I
believe it is important bonding time for my family, and I have always
felt it is important for the family to come together at the end of the day
and enjoy a home cooked meal. It is a time that everyone can reconnect.
My children often mention how lucky they are that
their mom cooks dinner every night, because that is not the case in most of
their friends homes. Its kind of a fend for yourself lifestyle. I have a
million things to keep me busy, but I feel like this is a gift I can give to my
family, so I schedule it in and make it happen. That's how important I feel it
is.
The
larger my family got, and when I started working, the more stressful
"what's for dinner" became. There came a time in my life when I was
so tired of having no idea what we were having for dinner. A lot of
people call the time between when the kids get home from school, and dad
getting home from work, "witching hour". Not knowing what was for
dinner can make that even worse. I feel that is critical time with the
kids to check in with them about their day, help them with homework, etc. I
didn't want that time to be stressful for us.
At some point, I read somewhere to
"assign" each day of the week a category. For example,
Mexican Monday, or Taco Tuesday. I believe most families eat the same things
often, and they just need to categorize the meals their family likes
to eat. So that is what I did; I named every day of the week. Mexican Monday,
Pasta Tuesday, Soup Wednesday (fall & winter) Chinese (spring &
summer), Thursday is leftover night or something easy like a cheesy
quesadilla, Pizza Friday, Sandwich Saturday, Sunday is the day I put
everything else that doesn't really fit in any other category. For example,
roasts, pot pie, meat loaf, salmon etc.
I also created a sheet that had all the meals my
family likes to eat, put in their specific category. Doing this kind of
meal planning saved my life! The phrase, "what's for dinner" is no
longer a bad word at my house. When it is time to meal plan, I sit down with my
category meal sheet, and make a month calendar at a time. I used to put the
whole meal on the calendar, but now I just do the main meal, and I have gotten
to the point where I can keep the sides in my head. For example, on Sunday we
had grilled chicken, and the sides were baby red potatoes, squash, watermelon
and cantaloupe, but I just had on the calendar, grilled chicken. (I am trying
to take advantage of the season and all the fresh produce available right now.)
I shop for two weeks at a time. This also helps with my budget because I stay
out of the store more, which cuts down on impulse buying. One huge question
everyone asks, is "what if I don't feel like eating what is on the
schedule for that day?" I understand that, but the more we have stuck to
the schedule, the less that happens. We have gotten used to just eating what is
scheduled for that day. But if I don't feel like making what is on that
scheduled day, I just swap it for something else in the that is on the schedule
for that week. I tape my monthly meal calendar on the inside of one of my
kitchen cupboards.
I know this is not an option for everyone, but I
try to do most of my dinner prep around 10:00 in the morning, and that has been
a huge stress reliever also. Sunday's can also be a busy day where there isn't
much time for meal prep. When I was growing up we had our Sunday dinner right
after church, but when we got home, the dinner wasn't ready and we were
starving! I did not want to torture my children that way, so we eat our Sunday
dinner in the evening, and have something fast and simple for lunch. If I make
a pot pie, I make it the day before, mashed potatoes can be made the day
before, and roasts can be put in the crock pot before heading off to church.
The kids know the days of the week and know what dinners belong in each
category, so they know kind of what to expect each night. I have been doing
this kind of meal planning successfully for years, and it is second hat now.
This was probably the biggest stress reliever I have ever implemented into my
own life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I appreciate her sharing what works for her. Have you figured out what works for you?
I'm refiguring how to do meals for two. You'd think it would be so simple!!!
Just when you thought I'd died on the vine....I'm back!
Will now play catch up with A Bitsy Booklet of Short Essays...illustrated with some blurry non-photo shopped pictures.
Essay #1 McCall
The now annual family trek to McCall did take place. Remember we used to go every other year and then Dixie didn't want her year any more so I took it over (older sisters can do those things!) Because it was our off year and because of our Grandson's accident on June 11th and Dixie's death on June 13th- I was totally ill-prepared. Tired. Nothing planned. Nothing ready. Terry not over enthused about traveling and not being home. Actually he was more totally not in the McCall mode.
Jeanee was here and so were the girls and we got a minimal amount of things thrown in the little ol' truck. She baked cookies and froze them and then we forgot to take them. so that was the end of that plan!
Our family is really small. Slow to arrive on earth...5 over a 17 year span and slow to multiply and replenish. We have expanded from the original 5 kiddos with spouses and gr-kiddos to a whopping 19! So if you add the 2 of us and the 5 beginning group and the additional 19 we tally in at 26! and that is over a 59 year span. Yawn. slow as molasses in January! This math example reminds me of the complications of the new math.
Just sayin'...that little band of people are like calling a United Nations meeting to meet and spend the week expecting harmonious relationships . Even warring members look forward to being together. To me that is wonderfully amazing!
Last name in common is the uniting factor at these events. Truly...5 such different people and they have each won my heart. So being worn down, and ill-prepared for a group gathering, and dealing with my protesting HoneyBunchHubby, I went and it turned out fantastic!!!
Even polar opposites in a family can enjoy being together. They do it every time!! At Dixie's funeral I shared that it's much easier to be friends with non-family than family. it takes huge humility and gigantic amounts of give&take, to bridge that gap and actually value and enjoy and love each other in a family.
Terry was a champ also. Jeanee , the girls and I just kept packing the truck and he just kept saying...I'm not going...I'm not doing this...I'm not going etc. etc. When everything was ready and loaded, I made the announcement...time for you to get in the car! Let's go! and he said...I would never do this to you!
I would not have used this method if anything was going on that couldn't be handled in the car! He had a horrible trip up and a horrible trip back BUT he enjoyed every minute of the week there AND his kids and grandkids were just so happy that he came!
The effort that everyone made to get there was so tender and so appreciated. Kip and Kip d. and family, of course couldn't make it. BUT...everyone else was represented!!
All of us are looking forward to next year and celebrating our anniversary together!
I'm planning big for 2017 and thinking...of course I can make everyone a quilt (hmmm...didn't I say that a few years ago? and that plane never left the hangar, much less to become even slightly airborne!) I guess being co-dependent means getting carried away on all things that might make someone happy!
Hours of fun at Lake!!
grandchildren at Lake day with Terry and I
Essay #2 Kip d.
Essay #2 Kip d.
Our grandson is starting PT. Moved his family to the basement level of his in-laws as his own home is split level. In a wheelchair and stood up for first time for a minute. He has to learn to walk again. Jeanee and Scott and Tori visited them. Surprised to see a beard on his mug! Terry and I were going over but they don't have air-conditioning and it's way to hot for us! Kim says Kip is more mobile and maybe she can drive them over here where it is cool! Else wise we will go over there when the weather cools down a bit. His hardware accumulation is shown below!!
Poor guy!!!
Scott/Jeanee/Tori visiting Kip/Kim/Ava/Kai
Essay #3 Angels
I still feel that we will hear of more and more angel instances. I have heard 2 stories recently and one was at a Sacrament meeting. I've always believed about a nearby realm of where spirits reside. The thing that is new to me, and I believe it now to be true...you can ask for angels to help. I always felt angels helped, unbidden. And I still believe that we have that sort of influence a lot. Maybe all the time? but I'd never internalized or processed asking for help. I've found enough authoritative quotes to satisfy my quest. I do believe we can ask for help from angels.
There are several different types of angels. Dixie can be an angel to us. There are those that have already heard her voice, felt direction, felt her presence. I shared before--it's rather ironic as the card she shared, with the letters she wrote to friends and family- were cards that had an angel on the front and it read...
There's an angel
watching over you...
to keep you safe
and always light your way.
For you're someone very special
who means more
than words can say.
and this!.... The Lord knows you. He knows your heart and is pleased with your sacrifice. He smiles upon you each day. He will uphold you and prepare the way for you. He will send His angels before you. You will feel their presence. And with the help of heaven, your talents will be multiplied.
I promise you that as you lift those around you, the Lord God, the Creator of the universe, will lift you up. If you will only believe and incline your heart to our Beloved Father, He will place within you a peace that surpasses understanding. He will give you joy. May each of you always remember this. (on Elder Uchtdorf's FB post) here
Essay #4 Golden Rule - Gold Star
All of you know that I've made no secret about me being Totally possessive about my children. I've not won any awards or trophies for my obsessiveness on trying to squeeze loyalty or whatever out of my adopted children. I've been MotherBear to the max. Recently though I gave myself, in an unannounced private bestowing, a gold star for moving ahead!!
Sometimes we act the part but it's not really in the heart. I could win an Emmy/Oscar/Tony for that feat!!
So more math...Said FirstBornAdoptedBabyboy is a whopping 45 years old now. Birth parents entered into his life and barged into mine 22 years ago. He would have been 23 years old.
Finally I moved ahead. I do regret not getting to know his birth father before he passed away. At least I'd calmed down a little bit when that happened. I still remember David calling me tearfully and telling me he'd died and mentioned he knew I had bad feelings for him. oh, dear.
So my son ended up with a BirthFather family and a BirthMother family and us/me a RealFamily. So this baby that is now a man has other folks that lay claim to him with using the title of brother and sister. No one uses Mother and the other Father is gone.
Through these many years I've tried to come to grips with it and not gripes. At some point I finally got some resolution and it was so evident that David thanked me, just a few weeks ago, for giving him permission to accept the love others were offering him. That really surprised me as I had mentioned to him, how nice Vickie was (his birth fathers wife) to always include him in the annual family reunions they have and get them to FL. That was when he thanked me! That was when shooting stars whizzed by and I pinned a gold star on my bosom!! My feelings were so sincere and so deep that it came through clear to the outside and my son could feel it!!!
Florida "family" reunion. 5 of MY family are in this mix!
Vickie says this is 7 of her 11 grands. Hmmm. two of those are mine! left #1-#3.
Grace and Sam in my picture also. #1  in both pics.
Then he had a Utah family reunion and I have no pictures of that as it was a Maile reunion.
Then he reffed a wild wrestling thing and two of his birth sisters(from birth mother) called him brother. which they always do. My darling daughter/only girl in family/only sister and I are cut from the same cloth and when I showed her these messages...she and I both looked at each squinty-eyed, doubled our fists and shook them at each other and growled....GRRRRRR! Look at the ref!!! My brother Dave Seljestad!!!!! Everyone turn it on! It's on Fox Sports One right now!!! His UFC debut!!!! So so so cool!! We're over here in Cali yellin for the ref and not the fighters! Hahahah We love you Dave!!!!! (posted by Jaime Snow)
My brother Dave Seljestad!! UFC ref debut! So amazing! (posted by Becki Collette)
Jeanee lays total claim to both of them in the sister department!
Half of my boy band. Two baby brothers. (her post)
We adopted both boys right from Hospital release time! what a blessing!!
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Not to neglect our youngest son. #2adopted Pictured below...Atz Kilcher/His grandson-wife-baby/Jewel & son/Jewel's brother Shane and wife. Yes. we know the Kilchers.
Atz...and daughter Jewel
The woman below is Atz ex-wife and Mother of Jewel. She is the one that connected us in a private adoption for our youngest son. Jeanee and she had a wonderful lengthy lunch this summer in Homer. My life is like a French braid! bits of this and that, all woven together and must be held tight in the making or it loses structure and beauty.
Jeanee lunching with LaNedra. Jewel's Mom. made connection for us to receive Ben!
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Something that helped me move along, was realizing that I will never need to play catch-up or get acquainted or learn about this man-child that I love because I lived it with him. I held him and kissed him and squeezed him and saw his firsts of all firsts in all that he did. They have a blood connection but me?...I have a heart connection that cannot be shared. the story can be told but it can't be transferred. not even in the smallest detail. I lived that life with him and we are ever connected.
Whew! that was a long time coming!! feeling so good and so free!! Maybe 22 years will seem short in the next life? it seemed lengthy to work on a challenge that long to me as a mortal! (great article about adoption. one I can totally relate to ...here)
Essay #5 TeeterTotterLife
Still trying to figure out how to balance my NewNorm. One thing I see that I'm doing, that has to stop, is trying to take on more and not letting anything go. So I'm trying to take on more responsibility for us and yet still expecting life to stay as it is. Not decreasing in any way. Just adding more on top of what I'm already running behind on!!
For years I yak-yak about organizing and need to lose weight and etc. etc. Keep spinning my wheels and gasping for air every time the wheel rolls upward.
I now understand that things need to change and it might seem drastic to me but it needs to be. I will cut out some things that I do. Things that I do just because I always have or because I feel I should or I think it's expected of me or everyone else is doing so much and I do so little etc. etc. My co-dependent self will have to resist mailing a flyer to everyone I know explaining why I've cut back on certain events/habits or whatever. (at this point the jury is still out on what needs to be pared back)
Three things will be my top priorities...1- time with Terry (he's pretty much stuck at home and although he wants me to go and run and play and etc. I will see how my flitiness plays out with enjoying time with him...2-me handling all household responsibilities to where we are both comfortable with living conditions (and no one calls in some government agency to condemn our abode!)...3-improving my health ( don't ask how!!)
(Celise- that promised book may be projected a bit further out!!)
Jeanee and Tori were a tremendous help when they were here in getting some things down from high places and we worked on the garage some more. I am on target with that plan I mentioned. I really love the book! (thanks for the tip, Jackie!)
Essay #6 Blog
Love blogging and chatting with you. This is staying on my-- being/staying/improving health! I will endeavor to be more consistent. Thanks for your support. You are dear to me.
This post is miles to long but I decided to just send it anyhow. by the time I add pictures it will be a novel!!
PS- (Natalie- my email is tseljestad@charter.net Please email me so I can hear how your daughter is progressing with her difficult challenges. You are in my prayers. Love and thanks!)
Essay #7 Temple
There is nothing better than a trip to the Temple!! I drove over there with jumbled chaotic thoughts and came out with peaceful orderly thoughts. So blessed. Just driving home and feeling so settled and peaceful. Peaceful does not always mean end of challenges. Peaceful just means...the Lord is aware and things will work out and I can handle it. Yes!! How? I have no clue but that is fine. Things will work out and my mind feels at peace.
