Today is a day of memories for me. Two years ago Monday our grandson was seriously injured in a bike accident, and the struggle with overcoming so much damage, continues in his young life as a husband and a Daddy. Two years ago today my only sibling, my sister Dixie, passed away.
So much love for these two individuals in my life. So many memories and life lived and shared.
Perhaps because it's Father's Day this coming Sunday, Terry and I have been talking about the power of love. We have 5 children and I've shared over the years that except for the last name, they are not similar for the most part. No cookie cutter family. What they do have in sameness, is loyalty to the family, even if they are all marching to different drumbeats. They also have a deep love for their children.
Terry and I were talking about the different paths our children have chosen and bumps along the way and all sorts of events...painful and joyous. Sometimes we tend to blame ourselves for what our children do. Unfortunately sometimes others blame us for what our children do! Sometimes our children blame us for what they do!!
In my innocence as a late teen bride, fresh out of high school, totally inexperienced in life and yet totally unafraid of life, I found myself pregnant after 3 months of marriage. We were both so excited about this fact.
We adored this baby!! I would say you can't even imagine how much we loved this baby boy but I would be wrong. All parents that love their child feel the same way! That love is so all-consuming, all-encompassing. It leaves you breathless. Every move of that baby is amazing. There is no one more perfectly adorable than this treasured helpless infant!
I see young mothers on FB sharing endless photos of babies, that through their eyes, is the most unique child ever born. None could be brighter or advanced. I remember that I simply could not get enough of my baby!! I would hold him as he slept and marvel at how amazing he was.
Parental love for a baby is what unconditional love is. That is a love that is so connective that no matter what that baby, as an adult will do, no matter what choices with it's attached consequence will be...that divine parental love, will still be there.
My adorable nineteen year old hubby was a baby lover of our children. He wanted to bathe and feed and hold and cuddle and play and show them off and he did so. Taking our baby to the grocery store just so people would stop him and comment on what an adorable baby he was! (now 3 months shy of 80!...he is the same with Grandchildren and Gr-Grandchildren as far as loving them!)
At some point our babies gain their own voices and in learning to walk they can also walk away at will.
With our 2nd baby, we were concerned as to how would we love this child, the way we had the first child and we decided that it just would not happen. It would be an impossibility to have such love like that! Surprise to us...hearts expand and we again felt that marvelous love. Unconditional is, again, the only way to describe it.
Our 3rd baby was our only daughter. As a Mother I'd longed for her since 4th grade when I fancied myself to be a Mother of several little girls. She is the family angel and peace maker. Abundant love!! Unconditional!
Our 4th baby was adopted. We talked about he would never know the love of the first 3 but we would not let him know that! A gift to us, was the discovery that we felt not one iota of difference in the love factor. Unconditional love coupled with gratitude and the miracle of him coming to us...again we felt that soul-deep unconditional beautiful love.
Bonus baby #5. Another adoption and no doubting or questioning or wondering about loving this time around. Pure enjoyment and unconditional love all over the place.
I believe it is that base of that powerful love that is so pure and accepting and truly is unconditional that gives us fortitude to carry on with adult choices or teen choices that we would rather not see or hear of happening.
Because our love is so strong, there are times we feel great pain when we witness or are the target of judgment that we have erred in this or that. Or maybe we do that to ourselves and have a kick-about, with ourselves being the object.
Terry and I had a talk about this. We decided that we had such deep love, that was so unconditional for those early years, of each of these 5 lives, that whatever choices they made beyond that, they had a very strong base of total love and acceptance from early on. We talked about any feelings we had about wishing this, that or the other thing, had been handled different...was a part of our mortal journey. No matter what we wished or wanted changed or to have a do-over- the one constant was they each had the security and nourishment and warmth of parental unconditional love (no matter the age of those young parents or older parents).
To keep those feelings alive and rekindled and maintain that love, that is so nourishing and reassuring, is so worth every ounce of effort it takes.
Fathers that love and Mothers that love are a blessing to those they love.
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