Catch-up!

Where does the time go???? 

Greg came here.  I went to Dixie's.  Greg came back here.  I'm going back to Dixie's.  Life is happening and changing and sort of reminds me of the mercury I used to play with as a girl.  I know...it's bad stuff!  But in those days we evidently didn't know or no responsible adult knew?  Anyhow, at one time or another, we all had a blop of mercury to play with.  It could be dropped and it would separate into little balls and roll all over and then you could regroup.  sometimes you'd lose a smidgen.  it was all about being fascinated with it's unpredictability for a bit and then gathering it up and starting over.

My life.  A mercury blob?  A blop...cross between a drop and blob.  my word. 

Anyhow...things just keep changing and I keep trying to keep up with the changes.  Just when I think...this is manageable/I can do this/I AM doing this... is when a new formation surfaces!! 

I do understand that this is life.  My life and you know what?....your life also.  We are all experiencing mortality and it's all about dealing with the puzzle pieces in our boxes. 

Making the pieces fit into a perfect whole and creating a simply lovely picture of  our treks.  In the sort though, I see that some pieces are minus corners or the picture layer on several pieces has worn off or a piece looks like it got wet and puffed up and is misshapen and the box lid is gone that shows me the full picture and what my goal is.  This is simply scribbled on the side...your experience in mortality.  No other hints.

Yet you and I know, and you and I believe... We can do this!!  We can live and rise to the challenge and return from whence we came, with those trails of glory, ABOUNDING, in our wake!

So here I am the human WaveRunner...falling into deep water at times and flailing and choking and gasping and reaching heavenward.  Feeling the steadiness of heaven's help and moving on.  Not walking on the water but walking out of the water to dry land. 

Oh, dear me.  Ever the drama queen but really that is how my mind thinks.  and what am I thinking about?  Balancing life and accomplishing things by tapping into grace.

So much going on so I guess I'll write a little book of short essays....

Short Essay #1

I see the importance of fully participating in Ward activities.  I think a person can easily scooch themselves to the outskirts of fellowship by teeny decisions to not attend things.  Terry and I made the agreement that even if he couldn't go to things, because of his own health issues, that I would go and represent us and support Ward activities.  Recently a Linger Longer Luncheon became a monthly get together.  Yesterday was the 2nd one.  Terry had not made it to Church so I opted to come home after the block meeting to be with him.  Granted...I can't do anything specifically for him, but I just wanted to come home and be with him. 

Another thing the Ward has started is a monthly game night.  I chose to stay home from that also.

Terry and I talked about the importance of fellowship and supporting Ward activities and staying in the loop so to speak.  Truly a person could fade into the woodwork so easily, feel on the outside looking in, lose that connecting thread of association with fellow members if they aren't careful and tend to their Ward activity involvement. 

We decided that I will go even if he can't.

That being said...I won't be at the Memorial Day breakfast.  Don't judge!

Short Essay #2

Life is up and down and thus emotions are also.  I really enjoyed reading about the power of thoughts bringing emotions to the forefront.  In Mosiah 25...Mosiah had read the account of the people of Zeniff and also of Alma.  The people were amazed at what they heard and when they thought about the people involved and the stories of their lives, then their emotions bounced back and forth from...filled with exceedingly great joy...filled with sorrow, and even shed many tears of sorrow....raise their voices and give thanks to God...filled with pain and anguish.  all of that in 4 short verses  Mosiah 25:8-11.  These were listeners...hearing about the plight and the ups and downs of others and consequences for actions.  That is how my life, your life, our lives are...a mix of ups and downs.  seldom level playing field and the trick is to manage it and not get caught up in euphoria or depression but just enjoying the ride and figuring out how to stay on board.

Short Essay #3

I had my birthday!   very low-key and intentionally flew under the radar on this one.  Enjoyed it and here is a picture of what my children gave me...

note the pocket knife! not a new phone....phone calls!

also had peonies and I love peonies!  they were an accidental gift.  A friend bought them for herself and found she was allergic to this particular one so she gifted them to me.  Plus warm chocolate cookies for the day!

love flowers.  love cookies.  love friends. love family. 

Short Essay #4

Our first two sons are 18 months apart.  This did not make for best buddies but more like 2 gladiators that seemed to endlessly be fighting to the death!!  Both wonderful sons and loved dearly...of course! 

The oldest called the younger and mentioned some projects that he was attempting to do.  The younger drove from Utah and helped out.  Then another phone call and the younger volunteered to come back.  Older one said...Nah.  I'm fine.  Thanks though.  Then he changed and said...Actually I'm overwhelmed and frustrated.  His younger brother said...I'll be there tomorrow and stay 10 days.

And so he did that very deed!  As a Mother, there can be nothing greater than to know and see your adult children love and support and respect and enjoy each other.  It really touched my heart as I watched my two boys.  At dinner one night, I mentioned that fact.  I heard...Mom, we are two old men that creak and have aches when we wake up in the morning! 

To me though they are still my boys and I loved watching them work together.  I actually sat on a lawn chair and watched a living u-tube!  Terry sat in the street on his walker for his watching!!

Terry and Sophia

checking out finished product!

meeting of the minds!

Short Essay #5

Dixie.  My dear sister.  She now has one lung completely closed down.  Hospice workers are coming in Monday to get that service going.  This will eliminate Dr. visits and Pharmacy runs etc.  Her daughters will rotate staying with her.  I will continue my personal plan of staying a week each month.  I'm scheduled to go over on the 2nd.  As a surprise to Dixie, my darling daughter Jeanee, is flying in from Florida and will drive over with me.  They are very close. (These pictures are from a Woman's Art Retreat that she had longed dreamed of heading up.  Her dream recently came true!  This was from Cape Cod.)

When my friend, Myra Faye, had limited time left, her concern for unfinished business were birthday cards and a drawer full of recipes.  Time ran out to do the recipes but we did the birthday cards.  I was fascinated that Dixie had those same desires of cards and recipes.  We did her cards and then she worked on making recipe books for her grandchildren.  We did not get her recipe drawer emptied out and that is what she wants to work on when I go over this time.

These pictures are from my April visit.

showing me how she wants me to do my eyebrows.  using a toothbrush.

working on recipe books.  choosing which ones will be used.

Love this picture. Dixie working on recipe books.

She sent me home with a new Dutch Oven and her cherished Kitchen Aid.

just thinking.

Her allotted time is running out and I am again praying that she will hold out until I can be with her just one more time.  I cannot imagine her gone.  As Scarlett O'Hara said...Fiddle dee dee...I'll think of that tomorrow. Some things are best thought about when they actually happen and not prematurely.  It's enough to know she is going to leave.  For now I'll enjoy her stay.  Only the Gospel makes it possible to deal with life ending and separation happening.

The end of essays!  for now.

Thank you for your patience with my stop and start blog posts!

(Natalie...so sorry about your daughters cancer diagnosis.  No Mother wants to hear such grim news.  I appreciate your great faith and confidence in the Lords awareness of her.  He is also aware of you and your tender MotherHeart.  sending love and prayers your way. I will give Dixie your love.) (Natalie and Dixie were high school cheerleaders together in Anchorage.)