"....but how nice it would be, to be wrong."

I'd thought about doing a blog for quite some time but lacked courage, for one thing, to take it on.  Did I have anything to say, that would be worth anyone's while, to spend a bit reading?  I'd made a few decisions....5 blogs a week.  Mon-Fri.  posted at 1am, so no one had to wait to peek at a new posting.  Then I decided to read a lot of blogs to see what others blogged about. The majority were personal journaling blogs.   When you start reading blogs you can just keep on clicking and find more and more and more.  I read lots of blogs but early on I happened on a blog (and oh, my!  How I wish I knew which one it was) that was so stark that I copied two paragraphs to just mull over.   Here are those 2 paragraphs....

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the blogger Derek wrote...

What was at the end

I haven't gone to a better place, or a worse one. I haven't gone anyplace, because Derek doesn't exist anymore. As soon as my body stopped functioning, and the neurons in my brain ceased firing, I made a remarkable transformation: from a living organism to a corpse, like a flower or a mouse that didn't make it through a particularly frosty night. The evidence is clear that once I died, it was over.
So I was unafraid of death—of the moment itself—and of what came afterwards, which was (and is) nothing. As I did all along, I remained somewhat afraid of the process of dying, of increasing weakness and fatigue, of pain, of becoming less and less of myself as I got there. I was lucky that my mental faculties were mostly unaffected over the months and years before the end, and there was no sign of cancer in my brain—as far as I or anyone else knew.

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Here is what the reader wrote...

I never knew Derek personally, only through his postings and the odd comment on Twitter. My thoughts are with his Wife, children and family. I'm sure I'm not the only one who will miss his updates and views on life, but at least the pain and suffering is over. I too am not a religious man and my view on the afterlife are pretty much the same as Derek's, but how nice it would be, to be wrong. 

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 These 2 lines, from the blog, have stayed in my mind.

Derek the blogger-....So I was unafraid of death—of the moment itself—and of what came afterwards, which was (and is) nothing....

A reader of Derek's blog-.....I too am not a religious man and my view on the afterlife are pretty much the same as Derek's, but how nice it would be, to be wrong. ...

(I wish I'd sent a note to Derek's reader about our LDS belief about life after death and my testimony of that doctrine. And let him know he is wrong and there is hope. Maybe I could have helped Derek's wife and his children. I have no idea how to find that blog. At the time I read the blog I felt like I'd accidently opened up someone's private mail so responding was not uppermost in my mind.)

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In early July a wonderful young father, active member in the Church, sat down to watch TV and died. What a different scenario compared to the blog experience I read about. His RSP shared this with me....

Mark C. (he used to be on the high council, not sure if you know him, a lawyer working out of Sunnyside) was 'found unresponsive' at home last Thursday. An autopsy said he died from a brain aneurysm (at least that is what I heard yesterday). He was 34. His wife and 5 children (oldest is 11. the youngest turns 1 in a few weeks) were in UT visiting family, he had returned for work and was going back to drive home with them today. Such a shock to all of us here. In talking to his wife Brooke she has been so blessed with the spirit and really feels his presence comforting and guiding her. She has an amazing family and while this is difficult beyond words says, through her tears, that she knows it will all work out. The Lords plan is real, even when we can't see the bigger picture. Wow!

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As a girl, my previous faith, had no such teachings or information about life after death. I was afraid of my own death but most especially of my parents and sister dying. I left my Baptist Church, over them telling me- there are no families in Heaven therefore when one of us died it was over forever. Because of those teachings I lived in fear of dying and when I married and had children that fear grew into nightmares.  Can you even begin to imagine the feelings in my heart when I heard the Gospel message?????!!!!
.
Within the Gospel I find solace and answers to all the basic questions of life.  Astounding to me is the amount of information we have about death and what happens after death.  I am strengthened by the fact we have an appointed time to die.  True we can hasten it by poor choices but President Kimball, a former Prophet, says we can seldom extend life.  I am strengthened by the fact there are scriptures that tell us where we go after death.  I am strengthened by the fact that we have scriptures that give us a glimpse into the Spirit world activity.  I believe all these things.  I take great comfort in all of this doctrine. 

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"We can shorten our lives, but I think we cannot lengthen them very much."
                                                           President Kimball  "Tragedy or Destiny" 1955

Treat yourself to a reading of Section 138 in the Doctrine and Covenants.  Amazing reading!!!

Don't miss reading Alma Chapter 40 in the Book of Mormon.

These references are just the tip of the iceberg!  There are beautiful conference talks about death and the Resurrection.  Check them out!!! 

 

Scrub-a-dub-dub!!

We have been sorting and packing up the McCall things in readiness for 2 years down the road!  It's involved a lot of laundry for a couple of reasons.  The bunks and the queen size bed were stripped, all the bath towels/wash cloths taken down and then Terry brought in a big tote filled with beach towels.  People enjoy and appreciate those towels each year!  We bring as many things as we can so that no one has to purchase things.  They all fly or drive, with a people laden car, so we haul in the truck all the niceties we can.  I must say that this year the truck was not as heaped up as usual.  Made possible by the fact that the back seat was removed from my van and that was crammed full also.  (I love my van!!) 

So I spent a long day washing not only all that flat stuff but also all of our clothes we'd used for 7 days.  Terry had rigged me a little clothesline out back and I decided to hang all the towels and sheets outdoors.  I'm a nut about clotheslines and air-dried clothes.  The smell is heaven!!  All of this enjoyment really took me back to my childhood and laundry day.

I remember my Grandmother doing laundry out doors with a wringer washer.  Hers was a handcrank one. She also had a couple of rinse tubs.  She'd let the clothes agitate.  then pull them from the water, sort of fold them and slip the edge of the clothing to the rollers and while cranking run it through and that would squeeze the water out.  A far advance from wringing everything by hand.  sometimes she'd still wring the majority out before putting it through the wringer.  That gives new meaning to a person being "put through the wringer".  Every family has tales of someone that got an arm caught and damaged.  Maybe broken.  Especially when the new electric wringers came out and the only way it could be stopped was to turn it off.  Terry had a cousin that ended up really injured.  What child can resist, poking and touching, turning rolling pins?

In Alaska, probably 1948 or so, we moved into a new house and got a new fangled washer called the Easy Spindrier.  It's main headline on getting you to buy it was bold letters...NO WRINGER!  I was so far gone in my memory lane walk that I looked up one of their ads.  You could roll it into the kitchen and hook it up to your kitchen sink!  one part of the ad read...Wash Faster, safer, cleaner in Tub #1   the other part of the ad read...Rinse and Spin clothes damp-dry in Tub #2

We didn't have to roll it to the kitchen as my Dad had a Laundry sink put in and a little room for the furnace, broom closet and the Easy Spindrier.  I was only about 10 or so but I remember how excited and happy my Mother was with this new machine.  I was fascinated with how it worked.  My Mother being very smart and taking advantage of my interest taught me how to use the Easy Spindrier and I was suddenly all grown up and became the family laundress and that included hanging the clothes (in a very precise way), taking them down, folding them.  Eventually learning to starch, sprinkle and iron.  For some crazy reason....I loved it!!

True, laundry day took a few Saturday hours but it was always 4 loads.  White, lights, mediums and darks.  Inspected by my Mother to make sure there was no color mixing!  In the winter the clothes would freeze on the clothesline and then I'd bring them in and lay them on racks lined up throughout the kitchen etc.  Eventually my Dad got some sort of a little room/shed from someplace and rigged up a little heater and hung clotheslines.  My Mother was thrilled!  so was I!  We hauled the wet clothes from the house to the "drying room" during winter or rain storms and it was so wonderful to enjoy that!

When we eventually moved to the new big house on Turnagain bluff in 1953, technology, in it's attempt to give women more free time on laundry day, had a machine that you could toss the clothes in, add soap, clothes the door and eventually the clothes would come out clean and dry!  This was not a top loader and neither my Mother or I could possible understand how anything could get clean without an agitator.  We sat in front of this fancy combo unit, Mother with the instruction book, and me with great interest in observing how would this work on the first cycle.  We were fascinated.

We talked about what a time saver this would be.  How convenient.  How you could wash throughout the week.  How laundry didn't have to stack up even though we'd never had that problem.  Truth be told though....no one had tons of clothes.  Everything was very practical for all of us.

So were did things go cock-eyed?  Why do we have laundry rooms stacked with dirty clothes?  Why haven't the new-fangled ideas, these modern gadgets, these time saving pieces of equipment lessened our work load?  Laundry is now so much more complex and overwhelming with the sheer bulk of it than it ever was when I did the four loads of laundry, for a family of 4, weekly.  Timewise it was a blink of an eye compared to now!  All of us will lament that we have stacks of laundry to do. 

I guess one answer could be that we are living in the age of affluence, the age of entitlement, the age of super abundance.  The age where today's hot buy, top fashion pick, is outdated before it's been worn twice much less worn out!!  And the prices that are so inexpensive on so many things!!

I wish for each of you a clothesline!  let your children do their own laundry and hang it out to dry, gather it in, fold it and put it away!  I spent a lot of dreamy pondering moments doing laundry and I still enjoy it.  (another story for another time was lack of water in Alaska!! and me trying to do laundry!!  Yikesters!!)

Ooops!  am I on my soapbox?  seems appropriate with talk of laundry, don't you think?

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The Elbow-Grease Factor: How to Teach Your Children to Love Work

By Orson Scott Card

A Ripple Effect

One week ago I was inwardly fretting about the upcoming biennial Family Reunion and here I am absolutely stunned at how magical the entire event was!!!  Words cannot describe the incredible experience.  In the last 14 years we have done this 7 times.  We inherited a family timeshare condo, that my sister uses on the "even" years and we take the "odd".  It seems appropriate that our years would be the odd ones!!  This year our t-shirts were aptly inscribed with:

Remember, as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.

With the economy jiggling with uncertainty and the lengthy geographic distance of family members locations...well, it seemed like quite the challenge, with those factors alone, to have a family reunion.  We have family in Washington State, Nevada, Utah, Kansas and Florida.  All made the effort and it was the best family event I have ever been a part of.  I was so caught off guard with how spectacular it was and not just to me!!!....to the entire group of 20 people ranging from Terry approaching his 73rd birthday, to the 5 year old that will be heading off to kindergarten.  We all shared the same sentiments...this was a fantastic experience.  Why?

Really.  Who knows?  The planets were in proper alignment?  I know prayers ascended from Terry and I.  prayers for safety and prayers of attendees all enjoying time together.  We say it was miraculous so I guess the answer is....we were 100% blessed. 

We have 5 children and they are as different as can be in every respect.  At times the common ground seems to be our last name!!  Also a uniting factor, our shared time together of rather primitive Alaskan living.

It feels like we have 2 sets of children within the whole family.  We had 2 boys and then a girl.  An 8 year span and we adopted a newborn son.  Another 4 years and we adopted another newborn son.  When the last little guy arrived, the first son, was a senior in high school!  So our daughter, our rose amongst the thorns, was the youngest child in the first set of brothers and the oldest sister in the last set of brothers.  (That is a very long time to have children in the house for a constant 34 years!!!)  4 of our 5 children (#2-5), with their families, were at our reunion and truly it was stupendous!

As we have talked about why things clicked as a combination, in spite of extreme diversity on some personality points, there are some things that really pulled things together.  First- each REALLY wanted to be there and so did their spouses and their children.  Second- They came to experience the reunion and not a separate family vacation with just their group.  They didn't wander off on a private  agenda and exclude people or distance themselves by not fully participating in planned events. 

I ended up thinking those were the 2 keys to the success of the week.  Maybe this is the summation...

they wanted to be there and fully participated via conversation or activities.

I guess the location helped also.  Because we don't choose variety but repeat the same place each year, the children/grandchildren have grown accustomed to the layout of the grounds and wander freely to the club house, pool, etc.  They aren't getting lost.  Parents are comfortable as it's a small place to keep an eye on small people.  I've been surprised, at the familiarity with the surroundings the children have and how it grows each year and more freedom to wander is extended to them as they age.

Every event, included old to young being teammates and that made for a unifying feeling also.  We had oodles of things planned and of course could not do them all but we had so much fun with the many we did.  Jeanee, our daughter, a former Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship Hostess, headed up our activities and she did wonderful!! 

We had a Bingo night and I wondered if we were gambling and my sweet DIL, Lorrie, told me-- unless people paid to play or used their money that it was just a game.  It was a fun night!

We had a birthday night and ended dinner with 2 birthday cakes and all the banners, table cloths etc., hats, plates, candles etc. plus sang Happy Birthday, with groups of names, from original 5 children to our 2 Gr-Gr-children. 

We had an Olympics night with 3 games and the family divided into 2 teams and that included a 3 legged-race using pillowcases!

We had a beach day and rented 3 wave-runners.  That day was incredible with water activities for all.  Sand sculptures and castles and people being buried.  Floating on Old Blue....the many years old double-decker queen sized air mattress. 

Christmas!  We had Christmas in July!  This was long a dream of mine and it turned out beyond anything I could have conjured up.  Early that day, it was still cool from the mountain air, when they stepped into our Condo...truly it felt like Christmas.  Snowflakes on the door, Christmas music, candy cane laden- 6' Christmas tree with a beautiful golden bejeweled skirt,  Christmas lights wound around stair banister, suspended- on a snow shovel propped up extension cord!- were individual Christmas stockings filled with goodies and 20 individual gifts wrapped under the tree.  The White Elephant gifts were used that night for a riotous game after dinner.  We all wore Santa hats and our family T-shirts passed out the night before.  It was a dream come true to have this special day.  We truly felt the Christmas Spirit!

We ended that day with with a full turkey dinner that we enjoyed plus pumpkin pie!  Food during the week was excellent and another plus towards a successful time together.
s'mores.    
Lorrie cooked a wonderful Mexican meal that had 3 main dishes. 
Jeanee cooked a delish spaghetti dinner.
Terry made Sourdough pancakes daily for breakfast plus..... 
his famous Poor Man's Mush one night.  At that, slathered in butter/cinnamon/sugar wallpaper-paste Mush meal, our DIL Maurine, brought over a gorgeous spinach/strawberry/feta cheese salad with Raspberry vinaigrette. 
See,  that is one of the differences in our family....we have vegans, vegetarians, carnivores, junk food junkies and organic purists but it all works out fine and is not stressful.  Well, it's not to me at this point in my life!  No one preaches/finds fault/makes comments.  We just eat and laugh and talk and enjoy our meals, however they turn out as far as what is served, and have a good time.

We have fitness folks and the not-so-fit bunch.  Our youngest son, training with the hope of qualifying for the Boston Marathon, would arise early and run 17 miles around the lake before breakfast.  Others would run less but challenge each other to racket ball or tennis. We have the "sit and watch others" folks.    We have fair/medium/darker skinned children.  We have eyes of every hue.  Hair with store bought color and hair of all natural shades from black to blond.  All exists in our family mix.  We even have (gasp!) someone with tattoos!! He also enjoys being a cage fighting referee. (Hurry!! smelling salts!  Puh-leeze!)  He was born loving adrenal rushes and that persists to this day.  I have been blessed by his gentle compassionate love, since the day I flew from Anchorage to Seattle and picked him up at 1-1/2 days, to come home.  He is moved to tears with sentimentality. 

We are not cookie cutter people, in spite of my past efforts trying to squeeze them/us into the mold of acceptability!  Not sure who is the acceptability judge but I know the Lord loves us.

We have families that daily study the scriptures and yes, we have family members that do not.  Every person said Amen when prayers/blessings were said.  A Grandson, rather newly ordained as an Elder in preparation for his mission, administered to me when I was sick.  It was beautiful to experience that.  Equally so, was seeing his Father and Grandpa, 3 generations, standing beside my bed.  

One evening, Jeanee, David and Benjamin, came in together.  Seeing these three standing arm-in-arm brought back the years when their ages were 16, 8 and 4 and spending 3 years with them being the only children at home.  It was such a nice shared time. 

Special also was to see Greg showing his Dad, on his laptop, his latest patent design for Cat.  Yes, we have brainiacs and an abundance of creativity souls in our mix.  Life is so rich with so much variety between children, spouses and grandchildren.

Who wouldn't love to see ALL their grandchildren laughing, talking and playing hard as cousin bonds are strengthened?  I soaked it up!  They love so purely.

In two years we will again have time we share as a family unit at McCall.  We will all be two years older and while we will do the same types of things, we will not be the same people we were this time around.  

This year... 
We had the place.  We had the plan.  We worked the plan. We had the desire.  Our children had the desire.  We all showed up.  We all fully participated. We each had pure unconditional love for each other and thereby embraced each other without judgement.  Word wars did not exist!  We were living the Plan of Happiness.  We experienced the joy of pure sociality.  Truly...it was heaven on earth for a solid week!!!  Sigh.

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And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory....

                                             Section 130:2 (see footnote 2a)

 so·ci·al·i·ty

   /ˌsoʊʃiˈælɪti/ Show Spelled[soh-shee-al-i-tee]

noun

1.

social nature or tendencies as shown in the assembling of individuals in communities.

2.

the action on the part of individuals of associating together in communities.

3.

the state or quality of being social.

so·cial

   /ˈsoʊʃəl/ Show Spelled[soh-shuhl]

adjective

1.

pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations.

2.

seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly; sociable; gregarious.

3.

living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation.

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World English Dictionary

ripple effect
— n
	the repercussions of an event or situation experienced far beyond its immediate location

The ripple effect of 2 pebbles thrown into the water, producing 5 ripple rings going out and coming back to the original source with even greater power than the original 2 pebbles. That is our family!

Pain in Education

 “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”

                                                                                   --by Elder Orson F. Whitney

Spiritual Pain

“Pain brings you to a humility that allows you to ponder. It is an experience I am grateful to have endured. …

“I learned that the physical pain and the healing of the body after major surgery are remarkably similar to the spiritual pain and the healing of the soul in the process of repentance.”

                                                                           --by Elder Robert D. Hales

Suffering...not necessarily our fault....

Much of our suffering is not necessarily our fault. Unexpected events, contradicting or disappointing circumstances, interrupting illness, and even death surround us and penetrate our mortal experience. Additionally, we may suffer afflictions because of the actions of others. Lehi noted that Jacob had “suffered … much sorrow, because of the rudeness of [his] brethren.”  Opposition is part of Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father’s love and of our need for the Savior’s help.

--by Elder Kent F. Richards

(from his April 2011 Conference talk)

Blessings Will Come

Blessings Will Come

“It is not without a recognition of life’s tempests but fully and directly because of them that I testify of God’s love and the Savior’s power to calm the storm,” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles declares. “They sustain us in our hour of need—and always will, even if we cannot recognize that intervention. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.”

President Monson says, “I bear to you my witness that [Heavenly Father] is there. He does hear and answer every prayer. His Son, the Christ, burst the bands of our earthly prisons. Heaven’s blessings await you.”